"southern hospitality" myth or no?

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  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
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    I was born in Mississippi, lived in NY most of my life, moved to Wisconsin for 7 years, and now just moved to Texas (Dallas) 2 weeks ago. I have always loved the South and loved Southern people, and find that "generally" they are more hospitable...But the truth is that there are JERKS everywhere and KIND people everywhere.:smile:
  • iammegs
    iammegs Posts: 39 Member
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    I'm from Texas, and I once went on a trip and was picked on for saying "yes maam/no maam"and always saying please and thank you at a resturant even for the simplest things. Growing up it was a polite gesture, and you got in serious trouble for being rude. "These people are serving your food. Be respectful." Now if I don't say it, I feel wierd.

    ^^ This!! When I moved outside the South, I actually was treated more rudely for trying to make polite gestures such as this, by teachers, servers at restaurants and peers.
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
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    Northerners are so hesitant to converse with strangers, yet when it gets to conversation, never seem to pause. If you want to add your two cents to a conversation - at least in New England - you have to interrupt someone!

    lol

    SO TRUE!

    I got the weirdest looks when I first moved from nj to la.. I felt like I was the only one ever talking.. and I'm shy in public!

    But la.. that is another story.. for another thread ;)
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.
    being a southern girl, junior league and all, i feel the stress and strain of it. probably why im trying to lose weight now ;)

    What is junior league? I've heard the term before but don't know what it means.
  • ilyahna
    ilyahna Posts: 96 Member
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    I am from the South, born and raised, and I live in Minneapolis. I've been all over, too, including the east and west coasts.

    I think 'southern hospitality' as an idea or generalization is truly something left over from a time period that ended with the Civil War and the downfall of southern 'aristocracy.' Whenever I hear 'southern hospitality' described, it reminds me mostly of genteelism: sunny politeness, kind words, open doors, charitable values. I believe the places one is also more likely to find it are in small agrarian towns where children are moving in and out less often, and folks are raised the way their great-grandparents were raised.

    I would say that *I* definitely *do* see a difference in attitudes here, but that could be because I grew up in a place like I just described in such a family atmosphere. In the north, I have noticed people are much less likely to open a door for you or hold one open, say thank you for courtesies, while they speak rudely and bluntly to strangers (including service persons), and have a much greater tendency toward passive aggressiveness. I remember actually being quite startled by it when I moved.
  • laurie571
    laurie571 Posts: 152 Member
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    I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.
    being a southern girl, junior league and all, i feel the stress and strain of it. probably why im trying to lose weight now ;)

    What is junior league? I've heard the term before but don't know what it means.
    a womans organization. you have to apply, be sponsored by at least 3 acting members only one being related to you, pay the fees etc.... the league itself hold different charities and volunteers around the area. very much like a sorority for after college
  • Kalola11
    Kalola11 Posts: 25 Member
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    Agree. Texas is really just...Texas. We definitely don't fit "the South."
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    I agree. I've been stood up for dates more in Texas than in any other states I've lived in.
    interesting. I've noticed the opposite actually but I don't live in Texas. Every person I've ever met from Texas tho has been one of the most hospitable people. Maybe its because I don't live there.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.


    Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.
  • Nana_Anne
    Nana_Anne Posts: 179 Member
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    I don't know if you can call this southern or maybe it's mid-west hospitality, then again this reminds me of growing up in Florida. I just came back again from Oklahoma. I was going to the post office with a hand full of boxes. An eight year old boy opens the door for me and when I say "thank you" I heard "your welcome". At walmart people don't leave items they don't want all over the store and you see carts being taken to the right places. Groceries are still carried out to the car too. When my Aunt's house was hit with lightening on Easter the fire department shows up, then all thier wifes with donuts and coffee, next comes the pastor and some church women. People called to ask what they could do. Maybe that's just small town living in the mid-west.When I leave the airport is the best! The stewardess and ride out of Oklahoma City is the best of any I have been in. I loved my last flight. We were all treated like first class. I started noticing more and more how little please, thank you and your welcome are used today. Those simple words go along ways. And the last thing to say is Thank you for reading :smile:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.


    Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.

    Any place where outsiders are called "damn yankees" I consider the south. And I heard this many times in Texas. So I consider Texas the south.
  • TyFit08
    TyFit08 Posts: 799 Member
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    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.


    Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.

    Any place where outsiders are called "damn yankees" I consider the south. And I heard this many times in Texas. So I consider Texas the south.

    That's because Texans don't know the war is over. Funny thing, my family is from the Carolinas never heard them say damn Yankees.

    Texas is NOT DOWN SOUTH. It is the Southwest or better yet, its just Texas. That would be like calling New Jersey New England, close but not quite. As a New Yorker who has lived in Texas and family is from Down South (which is basically the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama etc) I have to say that many Northerners need geography lessons.
  • 1234567kate9
    1234567kate9 Posts: 87
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    Southern hospitality does still exist - it's the idea that you can share food with someone, have a nice conversation at a grocery store, and so on. The key is to make sure politics and religion never come up!

    Southern hospitality doesn't necessarily mean that you're better around friends and family than people in the North. It has to do with being more diplomatic/pleasant with people you don't know very well. While it may seem too superficial for people who are used to bluntness, it's about making errands, tasks and brief acquaintances more pleasant.

    This is exactly it. It's all about being more polite to strangers
  • 1234567kate9
    1234567kate9 Posts: 87
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    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.


    Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.

    Any place where outsiders are called "damn yankees" I consider the south. And I heard this many times in Texas. So I consider Texas the south.

    I'm from the Carolinas, born and raised, and I've never once heard some say "damn yankees" at least not seriously
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.

    Southern Hospitality is about making you feel welcome and yes I do think Southerners welcome strangers. I have seen my family in South Carolina do it, while my family in NY always looks at outsiders with a degree of skepticism. But I'm right there with them. I'm not going to act like I'm your best friend if I don't know you. Not to say that some Southerners aren't genuine, I like the what you see is what you get approach.

    We are actually more "South Central" as we aren't in the West either... But I do believe it has something to do with us siding with the Confederates in the Civil War.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.

    Southern Hospitality is about making you feel welcome and yes I do think Southerners welcome strangers. I have seen my family in South Carolina do it, while my family in NY always looks at outsiders with a degree of skepticism. But I'm right there with them. I'm not going to act like I'm your best friend if I don't know you. Not to say that some Southerners aren't genuine, I like the what you see is what you get approach.
    Pretty sure any state that hopped on the Confederacy band wagon is in the south. Just sayin'.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.

    Southern Hospitality is about making you feel welcome and yes I do think Southerners welcome strangers. I have seen my family in South Carolina do it, while my family in NY always looks at outsiders with a degree of skepticism. But I'm right there with them. I'm not going to act like I'm your best friend if I don't know you. Not to say that some Southerners aren't genuine, I like the what you see is what you get approach.

    We are actually more "South Central" as we aren't in the West either... But I do believe it has something to do with us siding with the Confederates in the Civil War.
    And you beat me to it.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    I agree with the opinion that it's because there way too many transplants (not that everyone ain't welcome or anything) and the social/cultural dynamics change...


    Oh and "bless your heart" is not a compliment... at all... It is usually is something that comes after a round of gossip.
  • poshcouture
    poshcouture Posts: 610
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    My family is very southern...hailing from Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Texas and Lousiana - very hospitable and a bit old-fashion! As a matter of fact, my mom would give me the "look" if I ever brought a male guest over for dinner and not fix his plate.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.


    Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.

    Yankees think everyone else is the South. :laugh:

    Honestly, much of Texas is closer to the West, in terms of attitudes and culture, than they are the South. {And for the record, those of us in the Midwest, (e.g. Kansas City, the middle) aren't in the South either. :wink: }

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