"southern hospitality" myth or no?
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I have lived in Houston for two years. There's not really a big difference between here and California. If I were to ask who's nicer I would give a slight edge to californians.
PS..i CAN'T believe how men Do NOT open doors for women down here. That is CRAZY!!!!0 -
I do think people are more friendly in the South. I definitely know that people from up north are ruder on the telephone - I have a summer job at a call center that deals mostly with people from NY and NJ and BOOOOOOY are they rude! Maybe its because they know they're getting sucked into a bad deal, deep down... (i'm a third party verifier)
I work at a call center too. I would say you are dead-on. Folks in the NE are too impatient and loud and they are always the ones that think everyone but them is an idiot.0 -
I'm from Memphis and I don't know if the South is any kinder/more polite than other areas, but I can say this. . . I was taught to say "yes ma'am", "no ma'am", "excuse me" and "thank you". We always thanked our servers or anyone else doing something for us, and made an effort to help our waiters clear the table. We held door open for people, even if they were a bit behind us. We bought Christmas presents for everyone: teachers, regular bank tellers, family, friends, neighbors, etc. My Mumm baked Christmas goodies for every neighbor on our street and we delivered them all on Christmas Eve. If anyone was sick, or had a death in the family, we brought them food (which I'm sure they didn't need). After Christmas was over, we had to sit down and write Thank You notes for every gift we received, and we couldn't spend any of our Christmas money until it was done. Same for birthdays and other occasions.
I'm sure not everyone is this way, but it is definitely more of a way of life down here.0 -
I have lived in Houston for two years. There's not really a big difference between here and California. If I were to ask who's nicer I would give a slight edge to californians.
PS..i CAN'T believe how men Do NOT open doors for women down here. That is CRAZY!!!!
Yes, THAT ^^^^^^^^ We are also much less judgemental of others and their lifestyles. We accept darn near anything and everyone. Love thy neighbor
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I am from the south (born and raised) having known nothing else. No, I don't talk like Paula Deen although I do have an accent. Yes, I carry a gun (no kidding). Honestly, there are good people and bad people everywhere. I've lived in NC and TN and have experienced the goodness and "not-so-goodness" in people. As for me personally, I try to always be kind to others and treat them as I would want to be treated. I have an open-door policy in my home and if you're a guest, I will bend over backwards to make you feel welcome and wanting to come back. If you are really sick or have had a baby or are moving, I will cook a meal and bring it to you. Doctor's appt. and no babysitter? I will offer to keep your kids. However, if you unjustly come after my husband or my children, you will see a side of me that's not so nice. And yes, I go to church on Sundays AND Wednesday nights. 0
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You ain't from around here, are ya?
You'll know if a southerner doesn't like you.
They will just be more polite about it. in general.0 -
Texans don't know the war is over??? Seriously???? Good to know I'm a big, fat, racist.Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.
Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.
Any place where outsiders are called "damn yankees" I consider the south. And I heard this many times in Texas. So I consider Texas the south.
That's because Texans don't know the war is over. Funny thing, my family is from the Carolinas never heard them say damn Yankees.
Texas is NOT DOWN SOUTH. It is the Southwest or better yet, its just Texas. That would be like calling New Jersey New England, close but not quite. As a New Yorker who has lived in Texas and family is from Down South (which is basically the Carolinas, Georgia, Alabama etc) I have to say that many Northerners need geography lessons.
Oh and Carolinas are not Down South, sweetcheeks. They're the east coast. Yayyyyy for geography.
Looks like some Texans need geography lessons too. The South or Down South is the Southeast. Look it up. Down South existed before Texas was a state. And the War is over comment was a joke, but seriously I never heard Damn Yankees anywhere other than Texas. Hell, you say a pledge of allegiance to the state flag of Texas.
A great portion of Texas falls in the Southwest geographically, though there is debate about the Eastern portion of the state. I think its safe to say Texas is just Texas, neither South nor West.0 -
Until expansion, if there was an SEC team in that state it was "The South". :laugh:
Technically, below the Mason-Dixon Line is "the south, meaning Virginia and Maryland are included. Culturally, though, they are no longer "southern" except maybe parts of Virginia.
By my definition, culturally speaking, "Down South"..."The South" is AL, LA, MS, GA, Northern FL, KY, AR, TN, SC, NC.0 -
I do think people are more friendly in the South. I definitely know that people from up north are ruder on the telephone - I have a summer job at a call center that deals mostly with people from NY and NJ and BOOOOOOY are they rude! Maybe its because they know they're getting sucked into a bad deal, deep down... (i'm a third party verifier)
I work at a call center too. I would say you are dead-on. Folks in the NE are too impatient and loud and they are always the ones that think everyone but them is an idiot.
I work in CA for a major health insurance company and when we get calls from the East Coast I immediately get anxious knowing what's in store for me on the other end. THe majority (not all) of East coasters I speak to are rude, loud, inpatient and have a feeling of entitlement. THat is not something I experience from CA ppl where I live.0 -
We're not necessarily more friendly, we're just more tactful about being rude.
Such as the phrase :"Bless your/her/his heart"
Or using the words honey, sweetheart, darling, sweetie, etc.
just makes us seem nicer than we really are.0 -
I was born-and-bred in North Florida, and now reside in Alaska.
My definition of what makes a "nice person" has changed dramatically.
In the South, it seemed "nice" was more about charm and manners. Up here, it's more about helping our neighbor, including strangers.
For example, if I blew a tire on a Southern backwoods country road (which happened twice), either no one would stop to help me change the tire, or dozens of cars would pass me before someone would get out and assist me. Here in Alaska, it would be really weird if more than two cars went by before a person would stop to help.
Yet if you walk into a place of business up here, you're not going to be smothered with polite smiles, small talk, and being called "hun" or "darlin'". Keeping up with local happenings can be difficult due to gossip not being as big of a sport up here, plus the fact that many of us live in isolate compared to the Lower 48.0 -
I'm from Louisiana. Many times when I've gone to bigger cities, like NYC, Chicago etc & start up a conversation with someone they look at me like I'm a psycho. But it could just be the Cajun accent!
I've raised my son to say his mam's & sirs, to open doors, say thank yous. He even has offered his coat a few times. And he knows if he didn't I'd correct him!!0 -
For real "southern" hospitality you need to go to Newfoundland, Canada. Perhaps, collectively, the nicest and most hospitable people on the planet (and I'm not a Newfie so I'm not biased)0
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I lived in Nashville, TN for about 10 years, having lived the first 42 years in NJ and NY. Yes, people there are very friendly and hospitable but I prefer my "northeastern ways." It took me a long time to get used to people I didn't know saying hello, pulling up at a stoplight and having someone look over and wave and total strangers making conversation while waiting for a manicure. Now I live in southern CA and that's the perfect balance for me. People are nicer than those in NJ but not as annoying as those in the south. (Bless their lil ol'hearts)0
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The "south" is a cultural construct, and can be considered any state that fought with the confederacy during the civil war. So, Virginia is a southern state.* West Virginia is not a southern state.
Southern hospitality is definitely not a myth, but its prevalence is on the wane. There are true southern gentlemen, but you need to look very hard now to spot them.
America is a country of extremes, those extremes are even more pronounced in the south. Simply put, the south is the best and worst of America in so many ways.
Finally, a true southerner never uses the term "yankee," especially not "damn yankee." The only people I ever heard saying that were northern poseurs trying to pretend they were from the south.
--P
* Virginia is the best southern state, btw. The sacred soil. But that is a topic for another thread. ;-)0 -
As another person that has lived in a variety of places (military brat turned nomad) I will say this, there is a wide range of what is considered "The South" and not all are the same.
I live in North Texas people up here are not so nice. Go to South Texas and people are more friendly. Then go to the Gulf Coast (Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana) where I call home and people are nice and a little bit crazy.
i don't think it is a myth, I think there are jerks wherever you go but there are also different areas of the South that fit the "southern hospitatlity" Definition much better. :drinker:0 -
I'm from Memphis and I don't know if the South is any kinder/more polite than other areas, but I can say this. . . I was taught to say "yes ma'am", "no ma'am", "excuse me" and "thank you". We always thanked our servers or anyone else doing something for us, and made an effort to help our waiters clear the table. We held door open for people, even if they were a bit behind us. We bought Christmas presents for everyone: teachers, regular bank tellers, family, friends, neighbors, etc. My Mumm baked Christmas goodies for every neighbor on our street and we delivered them all on Christmas Eve. If anyone was sick, or had a death in the family, we brought them food (which I'm sure they didn't need). After Christmas was over, we had to sit down and write Thank You notes for every gift we received, and we couldn't spend any of our Christmas money until it was done. Same for birthdays and other occasions.
I'm sure not everyone is this way, but it is definitely more of a way of life down here.
Too funny as I can relate to pretty much everything on your list. This past spring, I had two sons who graduated--one from college and one from high school. When they got the envelopes with the money inside, the rule was that if it was cash, it couldn't be spent until a thank you note was sent and if it was a check, they couldn't cash it (therefore not spend it) until the thank you notes were written. This requirement was on top of a face-to-face thank you if the person who gave them a card was present while he opened it.0 -
Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.
Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.
Any place where outsiders are called "damn yankees" I consider the south. And I heard this many times in Texas. So I consider Texas the south.
There is a difference in Yankees and damn Yankees. Damn Yankees move down here, Yankees just visit.
Sorry. Just a little southern humor. Didn't mean to offend but if I did, Bless your heart.0 -
I believe this was true, maybe 20 years ago. We as a civilization are changing into more cold and uncaring people. We walk around with head phones in not to be bothered by others, so the little chit chat, how about this weather conversation is going away. Love thy neighbor is almost non existent now.0
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I traveled to LSU (from MA) two years ago for a concert. The people we met were absolutely hospitable and charming toward me and my BFF. We were traveling from our hotel to the concert at LSU stadium and we gave ourselves about 2 hours to find our assigned parking and tailgate before the concert was to start. We ended up on bumper to bumper traffic and because there were so many pedestrians we could not see through groups of people to read the temporary signs posted to direct traffic. I popped my head out of our rental car to ask a maintenance worker for help. He not only gave us fantastic directions but he littlerally hopped in is maintenance truck and told me to follow him. He radio'd ahead to different points and lead us to our exact parking spot, opening up secured gates for us, and he treated us like we were with the President of the United States. When I offered to tip him he said my smile was thanks enough and he drove off and presumably went back to what he was doing. I'm not a 110 pound super model type. I'm a 250 pound Mom in a rented powder puff blue mini van LOL I'd say we had encountered some of that Southern Hospitality :flowerforyou:0
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