Part of me really wants to stop getting on here...
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when it comes to eating right everyone always has something to say good or bad, all you can do at this point is look out for you, sure its good to have some motivation but you have to try and motivate yourself even more, dont leave because of the negativity honey, just do you ok?0
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One of the problems with online discussions is that it completely removes the ability to be able to reach over and slap or choke some *kitten* who needs to be slapped or choked, therefore, there is less of a deterrent.
The other problem is over time, many people start behaving as if their online community is a part of their extended family and start treating even newcomers as family. I don't know about you, but my family puts the "dys" in dysfunctional and I would much rather be treated like a total stranger!
I suggest becoming well acquainted with the "ignore user" and "block user" functions. Sadly, I've had to use both a handful of times, but only because I wasn't able to choke the bullies; effective, but not very gratifying especially since my grip is twice as strong as it used to be and I'd love to try it out. I also wont' be offended if you use either or both functions on me.0 -
You need to develop thicker skin if you're going to interact with people on the Internet, particularly if you're going to ask random strangers for advice, Also, the absolute worst thing you can do is play the "Why is everyone being so mean to me?" card. No matter what it may feel like to you, I promise you nobody here has made it his/her personal mission to hurt your feelings. Some people are going to be friendlier and more supportive than others because that is their nature. Some people may just be giving you a harsh glimpse of reality because that is THEIR nature, and you are taking it more brutally than they intended it because you are sensitive.
I think most people who lose a lot of weight and successfully keep it off come to the realization that it is really freaking hard and requires some intestinal fortitude that most people simply do not have and will never have. In fact, most people who claim they are trying to lose weight are really just trying to prove to themselves that it is impossible so that they can give up and feel good about it. That is why you see a lot of "mean" people on this website. Many of us are sick of seeing all the nonsense like "I've tried to eat 700 calories a day, but it's not working, and I feel like giving up" or "I stood still for 3 hours today, and damn it, I'm going to log those calories." It makes it impossible to be able to have adult conversations about real weight-loss, and considering that is what this site is supposed to be used for, a lot of us are quite frustrated about it. I can't tell you how many people I know who have lost 70, 80, even 100+ pounds who have walked away from MFP because their advice, which is based on months and years of hard-won experience, is now considered "mean" or "rude" or "unsupportive" by the moderators because this site is full of trigger-happy crybabies who don't want to be told they aren't trying hard enough. I am not saying you are one of those. I'm just trying to explain why not everyone gives advice that is full of sunshine and rainbows and unicorns.0 -
Haha wow this made me laugh! Thanks, I needed that because it is so true!0
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Taboo subjects:
Fast food
Chain restaurants
Processed foods
Fad diets
Dessert
1200 calorie diets
Not being able to eat all your calories
Not liking fruits and/or vegetables
Logging cleaning
Some MFPer's get alittle testy on these subjects. I'm sure there are more but these are the ones that can get mean. Personally I think they all need some chocolate ;-) It's better to post a question on these subjects in a group forum rather than the mainboard. I notice the groups tend to be nicer in answering those kinds of questions. Although I wouldn't ask the 'clean eating' group the V8 question, that'd go badly!!0 -
I'm sorry you are not getting the support from everyone on here. You just have to grab all the positive feedback and concentrate on those feedbacks and ignore all the other stupid and sarcastics comments that you have gotten.
We are all here for the same reason and to give and get encouragement along the way. If they don't have anything encouraging and/or supportive to say, they shouldn't say anything at all.
Stay focused and stay positive because you CAN do this!
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About a year or so ago I made an attempt to use MPF. It was a horrid experience. I quite. I gained weight. I checked out other websites of similar design, there are many of them. I found that most of them are the same. I forgot that the world is full of douche bags with nothing better to do than bring others down. The internet seems to bring out the worst of them. My best advice to you, learn to ignore them.
MFP can be a great tool and there are some fabulous people on here. It can also make you crazy and piss you off. I read so much erroneous information on here every day I cringe repeatedly. People spout opinion as fact, belittle those that don't think the same as they do and generally make a nuisance of themselves. Gladly, they are very easy to ignore.
I read through most of your posts and I will make one suggestion that is meant as constructive criticism and with your profile stating you want to become a published writer it's something that should be important to you anyway. Work on your typing, check your spelling. Nothing brings out the trolls faster than bad grammar and poor spelling.
Hehe, that makes me think of the meme for how the internet has more effect on a persons grammar compared to an English teacher. xD
But in regards to the OP ignore the trolls. They feed on your replies. There are douche bags EVERYWHERE. On these forums, on another sites forums, on youtube comments, wow forums, the mall, you name it, there's probably a douche or two sitting around waiting for the moment to ruin someones day. There are a lot of nice people on here, focus on them. Surround yourself with supportive and nice people and focus on the reason you're here. To lose weight. I post stuff, and I don't care what people say, I speak my mind, period. If they don't like it, oh well, they have that right. If they want to write some more crap about how terrible I am, go for it. I don't care, I'm a nice person. I will support and offer reasonable, realistic, and legit advice to any one. If I'm wrong, then I'll admit it, say I'm sorry, and try to fix it.
Don't quit over idiots. If you want, feel free to add me. I'll gladly cheer you along the way. 0 -
Just like in life, for the 1 awesome friend that you have, there are 6 people you are going to clash with. Just find buddies and avoid the forums. if you ask a question and people get snotty jjust google it instead (but really....use the search geature. thats why most people flip out.)0
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coming from someone that can be seen as rude and sarcastic at times, it just depends on what i am responding to.
if someone legitimently posts up asking for help and asking the right questions on how to eat and exercise, i will respond properly and curteously.
if someone asks how many calories kneading bread or cleaning burns, then i'm going to be less then nice. because those are also the people that will post up in three weeks asking why they aren't losing weight, even though they "exercise" and are only eating over their calories five days a week and not seven.
maybe people and myself have a bit of a chip on our shoulders because we are so commited to changing ourselves, that we do our best to make it happen, and we find so many people trying to cheat the system. to me it seems like they are saying "oh, i don't have to work out as hard as you do to get results." like my time and energy was wasted.
you did not seem to ask any silly questions, but it's a little early in your posting history to be hurt over what people say. i suggest that you start paying more attention the answers you do like, and not the answers you don't like.
and remeber, not agreeing with you ≠ being a jerk0 -
I understand how you feel. I don't have any friends on here other than my husband, which is fine. We joined because he needs to track his intake so I joined to be supportive. He has tons of friends and I am always seeing his conversations. MOST of the people are friendly and have good things to say, HOWEVER, there are those who see only the negative in everything and speak it. My husband had baratric surgury May 25, 2012, so he can only eat but so much. I have seen post from people saying he is going to fail cause his calorie count is so low & he is working out too much, so he he is setting himself up for failure. HELLO, did you not see that he just had his stomach cut in half so he can only eat small amounts. For him, it's not his calorie intake but his protein that is important. So again, i understand where you are coming from but just ignore the ignorant and keep doing what you are doing.0
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Every group has its rude idiots. Learn to ignore them, they don't matter. There is a wealth of information here, don't let the morons keep you from gleaning what you need from the site. You'll soon figure out who the jerks are. They don't matter, achieving your goals are all that matter.0
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While I agree there are some real jerks on here who make unnecessarily nasty comments, I think they are few and readily identifiable. The rest who are seen as "mean" are often the ones who say things bluntly (and a lot of the jerks apparently think they are just telling the "truth" and fall into the blunt category, but yeah, they're just jerks - use the "ignore user" option if you feel the need). Learn to identify and ignore. I think I started one or two posts of my own back when I was a newbie, and I don't remember being turned off. But I lurked A LOT at the beginning. Just 'cause that's how I work. I "listen" to learn. While "listening" you learn how to separate the bs and the jerks from the sound advice and the blunt. Since I lurked for a while, I learned a lot and found that I had many of my questions answered. So I guess I have been able to avoid issues with most of the jerks.
To be honest, I think you're overreacting a bit. I looked at your V8 post, and your Olive Garden post. I didn't see any rude comments in the V8 post. In the Olive Garden post a number of people said something about going to a "real" Italian restaurant, which from one of your posts it seemed like you probably thought those posts were rude. While they were unnecessary comments, I don't think they were really rude or mean. It's easy to skip over posts like that and go on to the ones you find helpful. If you're going to let comments like that bother you, you're just making yourself unhappy for no reason. A lot of people will tell others to get a "thicker skin," and sometimes when people say that I think that the other person really had a legitimate gripe because someone was being a colossal jerk, but sometimes it's true. You just can't let things that really don't matter, like the comments of a stranger on the internet, get to you. I'm vegan. If I let all the snarky and downright nasty things said to me or just about veganism in general get to me, I would be a very angry and miserable person indeed. I choose not be such a person.0 -
a lot of people on here are probably just cranky because they are starving lol try to ignore them. there are a lot of nice people here too.
LMAO so true!0 -
thank you for getting the joke!not being mean
please remember all meme's are ment as A; joke or B; sarcazim,
this one is both
and well we all like to flog the new gie it realy isnt personal, trust me
but if the forums bug you that much, avoid them:happy: good luck on you weight loss
ps im a 13 stepper:bigsmile:
A 13th stepper! Shame on you. You're banned. :grumble:
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try to stay on your own profile with friend you have added and try not to pay much attention...life is to short just ignore and enjoy you life0
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MFP is like the bottle, you need a 12 step program to break its spell.
Holy ****, not gonna lie, your profile pic freaked me out!! :laugh:0 -
Hang in there and build a friend network. Use them for your positive encouragement and support.0
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I am sorry you have endured so many rude people and comments. Please feel free to add me and we can encourage each other on our journey. Good luck to you.0
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Aww.. I kind of (sort of) felt the same way when I started this, but then I remembered: whatever I'm doing here, I'm doing it for ME, not for anyone else. So in the end, it doesn't matter how cranky MFPers are, because it shouldn't affect my progress or my life regardless of whether or not I use the site (if that makes sense).
I'm glad you were able to find a few people who you can rely on for motivation; I'd love to be one of them if you want to add me!
Excellent response! You are the kind of friend she needs!0 -
sorry you have had such a bad experience. this place really is great. you just have to ignore some people. this site really is the best and will do wonders if you stick to it. dont give up. its still early. give it more time and you will see. i'll add you
Exactly! Hang in there... ignore the haters!0 -
From being on here a while, I would say this:
Chances are you are asking something that has been asked a million times. You might not realize it. People on here expect you to search before asking. Which is time consuming and is hard to sort through at times but, expected.
If you lurk around for a bit, you will see what I mean.
Also, some people are just mean. Often, they forget that there are people on the other end of the computer and they say things they would NEVER say in person.
Hang in there and don't let a few jerks keep you from becoming the best you can be.
What I don't get is that the same people who complain about 'use the search feature' are often the ones who post pointless, repetitive memes.
OP: Build up a strong network of friends who have common goals and/or personalities and then you won't need the forums. You'll have a support group who will be unlikely to be cruel to you. Unfortunately MFP is a public forum where anyone can post whatever they want and this leads to a lot of personality clashes.
The people who have offended you aren't bad people, necessarily, they just have a different personality and are unable to adapt their behavior around those who don't get their sense of humor. Instead of letting them bother you, just brush it off and focus on the people who don't offend you.
I know it's hard but MFP itself is a valuable tool. The forums are NOT mandatory to your weight loss, they are just an added bonus if you can find support and motivation in them.
My advice? Stick to the support and motivation section for awhile. I think you'll see a lot that you like. 0 -
I like to think of MFP as a war zone. The general forums are the front lines, if you go there, people WILL shoot at you. If you make nice friends, they can interact with you on your wall and vice versa. Interacting with your friends walls is what I call, "in the rear, with the gear". Always keep the flak jacket on when you approach the general forums, wear your combat helmet, keep your head down and always, always shoot from cover. Dismissed.0
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I agree it's a little early to write off mfp because some people may have been rude,,, continue reading post and find people you have common interests with ... my friends list has alot of triathletes ... and I'm getting backing into working out and want to do another triathlon,
Also some night shift people as I work night shift and eat schedules can get messed up... Also some kayakers and rock climbers and
some tall women as I'm 5'10
I haven't been here that long but most of my friends have been added due to a common interest so we can motivate and support each other....
a few are sarcastic ... but once you read there posts enough you learn this is just their personality .... lol0 -
Why do you care what people think or say? If you can't handle the responses that you get, then don't post questions or ask for advice. If you want to lose weight or watch your diet or whatever your reason is for being here, you ultimately have to motivate and police yourself.0
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Personally, I am not a believer of the notion that people are in general good. I believe, in general, people suck. Good people are the exception, not the norm. The internet just allows people to be more openly nasty.
Surround yourself with supportive people, and stay off the message boards. That is my best advice for you.
:happy:0 -
If you don't like it here, don't post in the forums. I have nothing but awesome people on my FL and just come here to pass the time when I am bored.0
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WELCOME Please don't give up this is a wonderful place 0
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I have never had anyone be mean or rude to me. But I also don't post foum topics either.0
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I try and ignore those idiots! This website has saved my life, keep on keeping on. You will do awesome.0
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Everyone is different. I wont think twoce about something someone says, and I'll see another person get really personally upset. You have different personalities here and they often wont jive. I can sit here all day and argue about something without even thinking twice about it, but just have a debate about something. Where as, unkown to me, you are seething and ready to stab me. It's weird to me. I almost never feel like people are attacking me, and then they do, I just block them so I don't have to see them anymore. So, it takes care of itself. But, if you're sensitive, you probably should stay away from internet forums in general, because pretty much every single one I've been on is kinda like this one. The ones that are all nicey nice and pretty much dead.0
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