Smoking Neighbours

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Replies

  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    Okay, there are obvious smokers rights proponents and landlords replying in this thread who only want to be antagonistic. I wonder if they smoke in their house or car around their children? If not why? hmmmm... oh, because it kills you and or damages your health? It is an environmental hazard and you are not overreacting if it concerns you! Especially if it is interfering with your sleep! That is very rude to say you are being a drama queen. If your health as well as your sanity are being compromised by the situation you have every right to be upset about it and wonder what you can do ... Anyway, Ignore them and you have some good suggestions from others. I really don't understand why people respond to these threads when they have nothing to actually contribute to the OP. If you aren't actually answering a question, quit being a pot stirrer. Does every question really have to be a debate? Calm down and go have another smoke!
    (Although I would probably be on a different, more relevant forum asking this) :)

    Your options:
    Talk to your neighbor
    Get a fan and blow it outwards
    if neither of these approaches works, you're just going to have to stick it out and wait to move sounds like.
    Or move early if you can really get out of your lease.

    If the smoke is so bad that it is VISIBLY coming into your apartment, get it on camera and show it to your neighbor and then your landlord if he doesn't care. Because bottom line if it's THAT bad that you can see it, there is obvious risk to your health, whereas if it's "just a smell" it will probably be downplayed, even though it can still affect your health and sanity.

    And it's silly to suggest you are trying to get out of a lease you can't afford. For one, you obviously qualified to begin with. And you also already stated you like the apartment complex and would move to another unit. I'm assuming the same price.

    Any reasonable person who has ever been affected by any environmental factor beyond their can control, wether they be smoker or non smoker, can appreciate and empathize with your situation. It's a PROVEN cause of psychological stress.

    You realise ALL of the things you just suggested were suggested earlier by the big fat meanies, right?
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    Wow,

    What a bunch of jerks in here telling you to get over it or that you're over reacting.

    I don't have any answers for you; this is one of the many reasons that I hope to never have to live in an apartment again.

    There is nothing worse than having someone else's toxic fumes filling your home and making you miserable.

    He was living there first. There are steps she can take to prevent the smoke from entering. She should have done her due diligence.

    There are steps people can take to avoid being ****heads too.

    Enumerate them.

    Reflect. I'm sure you'll get there eventually with consistent hard work.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    So far, the only two suggestions I have gotten have been:

    a) Deal with it, or

    b) Talk to him.

    I find it hilarious that, in the 1 hour this forum has existed, simple because I haven't spoken to him, I haven't taken that advice *at all.*

    Yeah, sure I've brought it up with the landlord, but that's because I've bumped into the landlord a few times. I've never seen this guy at all. I had actually spoken to the guy directly below me because I believed that's where all of the smoke was coming from. The two of them are buddies, so that's how I found out the guy was a chain smoker (and also recovering from heart disease and open-heart surgery. The guy probably isn't going to live much longer).

    I haven't gone to speak to the guy yet because I am both very tired and very irked by both the smoker himself, and the *kitten* on this thread. Would you say it's good advice to talk to someone when you're pissed off at him? I didn't think so.

    I also hate conflict. I try to avoid it as much as possible. That's why I went to the landlord first, to see if what my options were. Why did I do that? So I could leave the guy alone, so he could continue doing what he is doing, with interference by me. Does that make me a bad person, interfering with his rights? Making him unable to live in his own comfort? I didn't think so. I was simply trying to make my own living arrangements more comfortable at my own costs. He wouldn't have even known that any of this was going on.

    So I think all of you can shove off and let some people on here with with some real advice pitch in. That's why I made this thread: So I could get some advice, and to let off some steam. Damn.

    Edit: I would like to add that I'm not one who just goes around and complains about my problems. When there is something bothering me, and I really don't like it, I do something about it. Talking to the landlord: that's what I was doing. I was dealing with it. I wasn't just *****ing about it. I really hate it when people just complain about their problems, then never act on it.

    Ok, that's not true I have suggested a few things as have a few other people. If you only hear what you want to then there isn't anyone that can help you.
    Do something with the fans you have right now to get the smoke out, then shut your window for now.

    Closing windows and fan blowing out constitute as "dealing with it." At least, that's how I took it. It's a temporary solution that doesn't resolve much.
    Ironic. You do realize there are far more cancerous agents in second hand pot smoke right?

    I said I didn't mind the smell of it. That doesn't mean I like to smell it.
  • ChasingSweatandTears
    ChasingSweatandTears Posts: 504 Member
    I just saw that you don't like confrontation, so what I'm understanding is that you talked to your landlord, not so he/she would approach your neighbor about it, but just to see if you could switch apartments? What in the world is wrong with that!? Win/win for everybody... problem solved and hey you never know unless you ask!!
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Okay, there are obvious smokers rights proponents and landlords replying in this thread who only want to be antagonistic. I wonder if they smoke in their house or car around their children? If not why? hmmmm... oh, because it kills you and or damages your health? It is an environmental hazard and you are not overreacting if it concerns you! Especially if it is interfering with your sleep! That is very rude to say you are being a drama queen. If your health as well as your sanity are being compromised by the situation you have every right to be upset about it and wonder what you can do ... Anyway, Ignore them and you have some good suggestions from others. I really don't understand why people respond to these threads when they have nothing to actually contribute to the OP. If you aren't actually answering a question, quit being a pot stirrer. Does every question really have to be a debate? Calm down and go have another smoke!
    (Although I would probably be on a different, more relevant forum asking this) :)

    Your options:
    Talk to your neighbor
    Get a fan and blow it outwards
    if neither of these approaches works, you're just going to have to stick it out and wait to move sounds like.
    Or move early if you can really get out of your lease.

    If the smoke is so bad that it is VISIBLY coming into your apartment, get it on camera and show it to your neighbor and then your landlord if he doesn't care. Because bottom line if it's THAT bad that you can see it, there is obvious risk to your health, whereas if it's "just a smell" it will probably be downplayed, even though it can still affect your health and sanity.

    And it's silly to suggest you are trying to get out of a lease you can't afford. For one, you obviously qualified to begin with. And you also already stated you like the apartment complex and would move to another unit. I'm assuming the same price.

    Any reasonable person who has ever been affected by any environmental factor beyond their can control, wether they be smoker or non smoker, can appreciate and empathize with your situation. It's a PROVEN cause of psychological stress.

    You realise ALL of the things you just suggested were suggested earlier by the big fat meanies, right?

    Apparently people don't think to read the entire thread before responding.
  • channel11
    channel11 Posts: 38 Member
    Take a deep breath and walk away from this thread. There are people in this forum community that respond only to pick fights. It's obnoxious and wide spread. You know what you need to do.
    This is the best advice!
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    And it's silly to suggest you are trying to get out of a lease you can't afford. For one, you obviously qualified to begin with. And you also already stated you like the apartment complex and would move to another unit. I'm assuming the same price.

    When did I say I couldn't afford the lease? I don't recall mentioning that.

    I do recall stating that, once before when I did attempt to break a lease early, I lost over $1000. Who in their right mind would like to do that? There are still 8 months left in this lease, and if I try to leave early, I may end up paying for the rest of it, even if I find a new place. No thanks.

    Yes, a unit in this building would be the same price, but the only unit that will be available any time soon is on the same floor as the smoker (I'm not sure if he smokes indoors or not) and is right next to the main entrance. I would lose a lot of perks that this unit has (The privacy, the view, the quietness). The other unit doesn't have the same value as this one.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    It's interesting how it's ok to give other people cancer.

    I've never seen a lease where tenants are permitted to smoke in the property.

    Good point well made.

    I assume the obnoxious bros on the thread are the variety of smoker who assert 'you can take my cigarette from my cold dead hand'.

    Obviously it's *entirely unreasonable* that a non-smoker not want to indulge in someone else's death wish.

    I'm a non-smoker and abhorr cigarettes.
  • Arexxx
    Arexxx Posts: 486 Member

    So true, a tenant expecting to be relocated to another unit because they can't manage to close a window is very rude.

    I like you
  • ering
    ering Posts: 183 Member
    So far, the only two suggestions I have gotten have been:

    a) Deal with it, or

    b) Talk to him.

    I find it hilarious that, in the 1 hour this forum has existed, simple because I haven't spoken to him, I haven't taken that advice *at all.*

    Yeah, sure I've brought it up with the landlord, but that's because I've bumped into the landlord a few times. I've never seen this guy at all. I had actually spoken to the guy directly below me because I believed that's where all of the smoke was coming from. The two of them are buddies, so that's how I found out the guy was a chain smoker (and also recovering from heart disease and open-heart surgery. The guy probably isn't going to live much longer).

    I haven't gone to speak to the guy yet because I am both very tired and very irked by both the smoker himself, and the *kitten* on this thread. Would you say it's good advice to talk to someone when you're pissed off at him? I didn't think so.

    I also hate conflict. I try to avoid it as much as possible. That's why I went to the landlord first, to see if what my options were. Why did I do that? So I could leave the guy alone, so he could continue doing what he is doing, with interference by me. Does that make me a bad person, interfering with his rights? Making him unable to live in his own comfort? I didn't think so. I was simply trying to make my own living arrangements more comfortable at my own costs. He wouldn't have even known that any of this was going on.

    So I think all of you can shove off and let some people on here with with some real advice pitch in. That's why I made this thread: So I could get some advice, and to let off some steam. Damn.

    Edit: I would like to add that I'm not one who just goes around and complains about my problems. When there is something bothering me, and I really don't like it, I do something about it. Talking to the landlord: that's what I was doing. I was dealing with it. I wasn't just *****ing about it. I really hate it when people just complain about their problems, then never act on it.

    Ok, that's not true I have suggested a few things as have a few other people. If you only hear what you want to then there isn't anyone that can help you.
    Do something with the fans you have right now to get the smoke out, then shut your window for now.

    Closing windows and fan blowing out constitute as "dealing with it." At least, that's how I took it. It's a temporary solution that doesn't resolve much.
    Ironic. You do realize there are far more cancerous agents in second hand pot smoke right?

    I said I didn't mind the smell of it. That doesn't mean I like to smell it.

    OK, now I'm starting to see what the deal is here. I have been nice but sometimes people just need to be told like it is.
    So... the only thing that will make you happy is for you to stay in your appartment, and for your neighbor to stop smoking? Well, then the only thing you can do is go tell your landlord like it is and demand to get your neighbor to stop smoking. If he won't then, go hire a lawyer to sue him. That seems to be the only answer that will work for you.

    I'm out.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    It's interesting how it's ok to give other people cancer.

    I've never seen a lease where tenants are permitted to smoke in the property.

    Good point well made.

    I assume the obnoxious bros on the thread are the variety of smoker who assert 'you can take my cigarette from my cold dead hand'.

    Obviously it's *entirely unreasonable* that a non-smoker not want to indulge in someone else's death wish.

    I'm a non-smoker and abhorr cigarettes.

    Sames.

    Just because you dont like something doesn't mean you should take away others right to do that thing :)
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    I just saw that you don't like confrontation, so what I'm understanding is that you talked to your landlord, not so he/she would approach your neighbor about it, but just to see if you could switch apartments? What in the world is wrong with that!? Win/win for everybody... problem solved and hey you never know unless you ask!!

    The problem is, is the people who manage this place have a silly rule where, if I were to move into another unit, I need to "upgrade" to a two-bedroom. I'm not allowed to move from a one-bedroom to a one-bedroom. Hence why the landlord needs to pull some strings.
    Take a deep breath and walk away from this thread. There are people in this forum community that respond only to pick fights. It's obnoxious and wide spread. You know what you need to do.

    I'm taking this advice now and going to bed. This thread has far too high a concentration of trolls. Those of you who I am talking about, and you know who you are, you can all go blow a dead goat.
  • javagsd
    javagsd Posts: 82
    I would think it's far more productive to talk to the source of the problem (who has no idea he's causing you a problem) than to bring it here or to the landlord.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    It's interesting how it's ok to give other people cancer.

    I've never seen a lease where tenants are permitted to smoke in the property.

    Good point well made.

    I assume the obnoxious bros on the thread are the variety of smoker who assert 'you can take my cigarette from my cold dead hand'.

    Obviously it's *entirely unreasonable* that a non-smoker not want to indulge in someone else's death wish.

    I'm a non-smoker and abhorr cigarettes.

    Sames.

    Just because you dont like something doesn't mean you should take away others right to do that thing :)

    Again, when did I ever talk about taking away the person's right to smoke on his/her balcony? Go read through the entire thread again and double check everything.

    Oh, and take my previous comment: go blow a dead goat.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    It's interesting how it's ok to give other people cancer.

    I've never seen a lease where tenants are permitted to smoke in the property.

    Good point well made.

    I assume the obnoxious bros on the thread are the variety of smoker who assert 'you can take my cigarette from my cold dead hand'.

    Obviously it's *entirely unreasonable* that a non-smoker not want to indulge in someone else's death wish.

    I'm a non-smoker and abhorr cigarettes.

    Sames.

    Just because you dont like something doesn't mean you should take away others right to do that thing :)

    Again, when did I ever talk about taking away the person's right to smoke on his/her balcony? Go read through the entire thread again and double check everything.

    Oh, and take my previous comment: go blow a dead goat.

    Go read the thread and double check everything yourself. You're missing more information than I am.

    You sound very, very mature. "wahhh! landlord! i dont like something that i signed up for!! wahhh... go suck a dead goat!!! UR MOM!!!111"
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
    Have those saying to close the windows considered it might not be a possibility? In the area of the country where I live it's just as common for cooling systems to be swamp coolers as refrigerated air. For a swamp cooler to be effective you have to have some windows open. In 90-100+ degree heat, I'm keeping my windows open and turning on the swamp cooler when needed.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member


    I'm a non-smoker and abhorr cigarettes.

    yeah, you're just an evil meanie jerkiface :laugh:
  • ChasingSweatandTears
    ChasingSweatandTears Posts: 504 Member
    And it's silly to suggest you are trying to get out of a lease you can't afford. For one, you obviously qualified to begin with. And you also already stated you like the apartment complex and would move to another unit. I'm assuming the same price.

    When did I say I couldn't afford the lease? I don't recall mentioning that.

    I do recall stating that, once before when I did attempt to break a lease early, I lost over $1000. Who in their right mind would like to do that? There are still 8 months left in this lease, and if I try to leave early, I may end up paying for the rest of it, even if I find a new place. No thanks.

    Yes, a unit in this building would be the same price, but the only unit that will be available any time soon is on the same floor as the smoker (I'm not sure if he smokes indoors or not) and is right next to the main entrance. I would lose a lot of perks that this unit has (The privacy, the view, the quietness). The other unit doesn't have the same value as this one.

    No, someone else stated that they think that's what is actually going on with you, and I was saying that is a silly assumption :)

    And to the people making excuses for the rudeness: NO I'm not going to read 6 pages of regurgitated attitude just to respond to the initial jerky comments that were made. My suggestions were for the OP, I dont care if rude people already made the same suggestions in a rude manner.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I feel for you. Just because some people like to smoke, doesn't mean you want to smoke with them. And there's no way you should feel as if you have to hole up in a bubble with your windows closed. But if smoking is allowed there's not much you can do about it.

    Some smokers are cool and if you talk to them they'll try to accomodate your needs. :flowerforyou: Others are total jerks and it could be an ugly confrontation. :angry:

    For your next apartment, make sure you find a smoke free property, so if someone blows smoke up in your space, you have some straightforward legal recourse. I wonder if you can get out of your lease early if you show documentation from a doctor that your neighbor's smoke is potentially harming your health. I know I would try anything to escape that stomach-turning, asthma-inducing nastiness...

    The only thing I hated about apartment living was when other people's actions invaded my space - the more common invasions being noise and smoke. This is why I will never go back to living in an apartment. Good luck! :heart:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Clearly a group hug is needed here.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    Clearly a group hug is needed here.

    I'll need to talk to the landlord about that first.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    I need a hug :blushing:
  • Arexxx
    Arexxx Posts: 486 Member
    After reading this entire thread [I love these forums.] I've noticed that the OP is the rudest person contributing to this conversation.
    Oh, and take my previous comment: go blow a dead goat.



    He was there first, you didn't check out the apartments tenants before you moved there, and you're demonizing the man and refusing to even consider talking to him.


    Put a fan near the window to blow the smoke out.
    Chill out.
    Talk to him tomorrow.



    Or, you know.. Overreact and move out because you were too immature to talk to the person and/or find another resolution.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    After reading this entire thread [I love these forums.] I've noticed that the OP is the rudest person contributing to this conversation.
    Oh, and take my previous comment: go blow a dead goat.



    He was there first, you didn't check out the apartments tenants before you moved there, and you're demonizing the man and refusing to even consider talking to him.


    Put a fan near the window to blow the smoke out.
    Chill out.
    Talk to him tomorrow.



    Or, you know.. Overreact and move out because you were too immature to talk to the person and/or find another resolution.

    yup
  • FitXnX50
    FitXnX50 Posts: 122 Member
    By nature, smoking is rude because they can't consume 100% of the pollution. What other voluntary behavior enters other people's bodies without permission? Spoils the taste of their meals? We have to understand that smokers are often defensive because they would rather not face that they're trapped in an addiction.

    However, unlike forums and anonymous letters, most people react positively in person when someone politely informs them of a discomfort they're causing. Letting someone know that each time he/she smokes, you know it because your windows are open may just be enough to reduce (probably not eliminate) it. Talk of allergies and illness may be less effective, because it's hard to convince someone comfortable in a thick cloud that the invisible smell that annoys you is significant. Letting the landlord know why you want an accommodation may have a long-term benefit, if enough of us do so. That's how restaurants and hotels have learned not to be cowed by aggressive smokers.

    Most importantly, don't take it personally because the smoking is not meant to be against us. Smokers are just blind (or the olfactory equivalent) to how much it takes away from others' quality of life. Be sure that the owner, not just the manager, knows why you've decided to find a new place next year. Good luck!
  • brickok
    brickok Posts: 117 Member
    Have you talked to your other neighbor's?
    Are they complaining?
    Are they having the same problems?
    Did you talk to the "smoking" offender?
  • ChasingSweatandTears
    ChasingSweatandTears Posts: 504 Member
    The OP has been antagonized from the beginning of this thread, they were trying to respond civilly and finally had it with the rudeness, then stated "go blow a dead goat"
    okaaay... not the most mature or civil one liner, but hell I can hardly blame them for it at this point. Waaay too many people were making this personal, when the only one personally affected IS the OP.

    And making fun of people for being polite by saying "a group hug is needed" hardly proves you are NOT indeed the rude person you seem to be. It only enforces that you are sarcastic and rude and implies that you somehow think hugs are bad :) lol
  • ChasingSweatandTears
    ChasingSweatandTears Posts: 504 Member
    By nature, smoking is rude because they can't consume 100% of the pollution. What other voluntary behavior enters other people's bodies without permission? Spoils the taste of their meals? We have to understand that smokers are often defensive because they would rather not face that they're trapped in an addiction.

    However, unlike forums and anonymous letters, most people react positively in person when someone politely informs them of a discomfort they're causing. Letting someone know that each time he/she smokes, you know it because your windows are open may just be enough to reduce (probably not eliminate) it. Talk of allergies and illness may be less effective, because it's hard to convince someone comfortable in a thick cloud that the invisible smell that annoys you is significant. Letting the landlord know why you want an accommodation may have a long-term benefit, if enough of us do so. That's how restaurants and hotels have learned not to be cowed by aggressive smokers.

    Most importantly, don't take it personally because the smoking is not meant to be against us. Smokers are just blind (or the olfactory equivalent) to how much it takes away from others' quality of life. Be sure that the owner, not just the manager, knows why you've decided to find a new place next year. Good luck!

    VERY NICE INTELLIGENT RESPONSE :) Completely non offensive in any way. Very nice post :) Group hug! lol
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    By nature, smoking is rude because they can't consume 100% of the pollution. What other voluntary behavior enters other people's bodies without permission? Spoils the taste of their meals? We have to understand that smokers are often defensive because they would rather not face that they're trapped in an addiction.

    Driving automobiles and factories. But nobody minds that do long as they can get a $5 shirt and a whopper.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    By nature, smoking is rude because they can't consume 100% of the pollution. What other voluntary behavior enters other people's bodies without permission? Spoils the taste of their meals? We have to understand that smokers are often defensive because they would rather not face that they're trapped in an addiction.

    However, unlike forums and anonymous letters, most people react positively in person when someone politely informs them of a discomfort they're causing. Letting someone know that each time he/she smokes, you know it because your windows are open may just be enough to reduce (probably not eliminate) it. Talk of allergies and illness may be less effective, because it's hard to convince someone comfortable in a thick cloud that the invisible smell that annoys you is significant. Letting the landlord know why you want an accommodation may have a long-term benefit, if enough of us do so. That's how restaurants and hotels have learned not to be cowed by aggressive smokers.

    Most importantly, don't take it personally because the smoking is not meant to be against us. Smokers are just blind (or the olfactory equivalent) to how much it takes away from others' quality of life. Be sure that the owner, not just the manager, knows why you've decided to find a new place next year. Good luck!

    Exactly!
This discussion has been closed.