Starting to find comments on weightloss annoying and hurtful

If they seem like they are joking around or asking a legitimate question, I'd just brush it off. Personally, if they were being purposefully rude, I'd just be an *kitten* back and make them feel small for not understanding what I'm goin through... I've had a lot of people notice how much I've lost, and the weirdest thing has been "better watch out, you're disappearing!" but I typically just laugh comments off and respond with how much stronger I am now and how awesome I am...

I don't think people have any idea what healthy looks like. I see your pic there and you look like a healthy, slender woman.

.........I have got "I didnt know you were pregnant"..............(awkward silence, followed by a sturn)..........."I'm not"

I think I prefer your comments!!!!!!!!

People say things without thinking - a lot of the time it is because they care (not always).

I agree with the post above - change the topic....... Or your could make a concerned comment about them!!!! (if feeling rather defensive!)......you are busy, you have to go etc........

Rave about MFP to them and tell them they should log on......but most of all be proud of yourself. If you are comfortable and your closest family members are supportive then stuff everyone else!!!!!!!!!

Good luck - and stay proud of you!!!!!!!

:-)

So how would you feel? What would you say to these people? How would you overcome?

Quickly change the topic to their favourite topic, themselves. Steer the conversation away from you.

Case in point.

Them "Hi j1wright wow you have really lost a lot of weight you look too skinny are you anorexic?"

You "Did you get that new vacuum cleaner you were talking about? How is your cat going?

^ This is EXCELLENT!! It is also so true. People love to talk about themselves and as soon as your steer the conversation to them, they will forget all about you. Sad, but true. Good luck!

I work with all guys, so when one sees me, that i haven't seen in a while, the common, yet not so PC question is "Did you get AIDS or something?"...............to which i generally respond "Yes, from your mother."

might not work in your situation, but that works well for me.

Same here... My friend even told me that her mom is worried about me? Like wtf?! I does get annoying but I just think about how it's my life and it's what I want... So il get over their comments and continue to reach my goals. Something that also really annoys me is when people seem to get annoyed when I eat healthy... The annoying part is that I don't even have to be eating 'healthy' for them to make comments about how I eat. They just know that I'm trying to lose weight, so automatically anything that I want to eat is weird to them. Aaaaand what I hate the most is when people talk about my diet and try to tell me if I can eat something or not! " I know what I want an what I don't, I'm capable of making my own des icons, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" gaah, I swear... People just don't understand.... Haha glad I got that out though... Sorry this was so long haha.

I think I can give you some perspective on this from the other side. I have two friends who lost a bunch of weight. The first one, lost it fairly quickly and it was so shocking to see how thin she was that several people (myself included) thought she looked sick because she looked so different and her skin hadn't caught up with her new weight. She has pretty much kept that off now for going on 4 years and she looks "normal" to us now. The other woman did kinda the same you did-cut out drinking and she also started working out like the cardio queen and dropped a lot of weight. I had people asking me if she was sick, was she anorexic, what was she doing etc. I approached her one day and said 'I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this, but this is what I'm hearing" and told her about the sick comments. (For what it's worth, both of these women are older than you so that lovely skin sag didn't help either one of them).

As we all know, it can be very hard to lose weight and even harder to keep it off. When you lose a bunch of weight it shocks their sense of the "you" they know. Sadly, the first thing a lot of folks think is "she's sick" since we all have known many people like that. While it is incredibly rude to ask you if you are anorexic, it's probably just shock at how small you are now and they aren't used to it. I'd be willing to bet it's folks who haven't seen you regularly during your weight loss making these comments.

I think you look amazing and great job on losing that much weight. Dang, that's impressive! Please don't let them discourage you and if you can, try and laugh it off when they ask you those questions. I'm sure for most of them, it's coming from a place of concern and they just aren't expressing themselves well.

I've been in this world a long time, constantly fighting just to maintain 10 pounds over desired weight. I have noticed so many people making that anorexic statement just out of envy. They want the person to gain weight. Not saying thats the case with your comments but think about it. Anorexic people look pretty, pretty sick. you look healthy, so I look back at the people who would desire that person to gain weight so that they themselves will be the thin ones.

First off let me tell you that I hit goal about a month ago. I am pretty satisfied by the way I look other than some toning but I don't want to lose anymore weight. Last December I had a baby, I weight 197-198 pounds. I now weigh around 120 pounds. This is the smallest I have been since high school, I am 32 now. Probably because I have never been so dedicated......another thing that I don't mention much is that I stopped drinking like a fish (empty calories). Yeah I drank my 20's away, and stayed anywhere from 130 pounds to 155 pounds.

So here I sit at 120 pounds 5.4" and I still occasionally get the you look great compliment but I usually get...."Wow, you have lost a lot of weight, what are you doing.?" Are you okay? Are you eating enough? I think you should stop losing weight, Everytime I see you, you look smaller and smaller....and the latest, Are you anorexic?"

I don't even know how to react to this. Any of the people who say this 9 times out of 10 are smaller than I am. The anorexic question comes when I tell them that I count calories. Really? So anyone counting calories is anorexic? I even tell them that I eat over 1500 calories a day (my TDEE is anywhere from 1533 to 1550 depending on what site you use). Apparently over 1500 calories is not enough for people. I sit at a desk all day long.

Sorry this is so long winded. I needed to get it off my chest. I also need to know if anyone else get this. If so what do you say? It is starting to annoy me and become hurtful. I am starting to doubt myself. I ask my husband if I am too skinny. I wear a size 6 for goodness sakes, it isn't like I am a 0.

So how would you feel? What would you say to these people? How would you overcome?

Well it depends. Like many on this site, I tend towards the sarcastically humorous. You can say, "why yes, as a matter of fact I am anorexic, can you please pass me those laxatives you see on the table there, I have to go crap out another 20 lbs". As you walk towards the bathroom, liberally spray the area with air freshner. Might not work for you but that's how I'd handle it....lol.

I think you should take Tony Horton's advice and punch them in the face...

I'm just kidding. I think you if you are feeling fit, healthy and eating very clean then you should just a) ignore them and b) stop hanging out with them. Find friends that are like minded about health and fitness - this is probably the hardest thing to do to be honest.

I think, in my case, if someone made similar comments to be it might be because they are used to seeing me fat and not thin. To those who know me, fat is normal....thin is not. So they might associate that with a problem.

I think people genuinely don't expect overweight people to lose weight, and they can find it quite a shock to see someone physically changed. In every workplace I've been in, practically all my female colleagues were permanently 'losing weight' - counting calories, doing weight watchers or slimmers world together. But with the exception of one person, none of them actually lost weight - they all stayed big, and their weight watching seemed more a social thing to bond over and have a laugh over than something they took seriously. I never got the impression they even believed they were going to lose weight.

I think it's the exception to the rule that someone actually loses weight. The one woman who lost weight also had experienced the death of her son, and people worried that she was getting an eating disorder, because they associated the weight loss with her bereavement. She didn't become underweight at all - but her body became significantly thinner than it was when she was overweight, so people saw the difference. I don't think she had an eating disorder - I think for her it was a way of dealing with her grief, by focusing on something positive and sticking with it. She looked great and became more confident. But no one else's weight watching had worked, so people thought her weight loss must be somehow wrong and unhealthy.

Wow! I could've posted this! Exact EVERYTHING except I'm 22. Had a baby got to 195 now down to 120 at 5'4 and everyone's saying I'm 'too skinny'. I've gotten the anorexic comment too. It's hurtful but I try to look at it logically. I stand in front of a mirror, and NOPE not too skinny. Need toning definitely but I WANT to be thin and that's all that matters. I think at our height it's such a dramatic difference that people feel the need to say something dramatic and think you'll take it as a compliment. Idk though it's pretty weird but I can't say I hate the attention. Oh btw I too was about 135 pre pregnancy but I find that I still don't look as good now as I did then because I have so much more flab.

a) FWIW, you look great. And I'll bet that, physically, at least, you feel great. Don't worry about what other people think. Enjoy your success.

b) I got a $20 bill for the first person who asks me if I am anorexic. (And before anyone tries to claim it here, I mean *in person*.)