Plus Size Self Esteem

Lovelyladydawn
Lovelyladydawn Posts: 41 Member
in Chit-Chat
Just throwing this out there, why do people assume just because a person is heavyset, they are depressed with low self esteem? Believe it or not, there are gorgeous plus size people who give these skinny minnies a run for their money...Just don't get it...lol
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Replies

  • artickb22
    artickb22 Posts: 411 Member
    this is actually something I have a hard time with. I have been "big" all my life and well, to be honest, I've always had a great amount of self confidence and self esteem! I think that's actually my biggest problem...I think maybe a little too highly of myself and therefore sometimes don't see the problem.
  • poodlepaws
    poodlepaws Posts: 269 Member
    I wish I was one of those plus size with awesome self esteem!

    I do know quite a few plus size women who have the wonderful self esteem and carry themselves extremely well; I admire each and every one of them in addition to being in awe of them
  • Funsoaps
    Funsoaps Posts: 514 Member
    or there are people who envy or idolize people who are "naturally thin". I much more admire someone who has worked very hard at their figure...I don't know it's just me : )
  • Lovelyladydawn
    Lovelyladydawn Posts: 41 Member
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking highly of yourself...
  • Aleluya17
    Aleluya17 Posts: 205 Member
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking highly of yourself...


    I agree with this, I also agree that being healthy trumps being big or skinny!
  • Aleluya17
    Aleluya17 Posts: 205 Member
    I also felt like adding after I hit reply that as someone who does have semi-decent self esteem, I know that I do better for myself as a person I accepted myself 100%, which is great, but then I kept gaining weight because I did nothing to stop it, I was just being me.
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking highly of yourself...


    I agree with this, I also agree that being healthy trumps being big or skinny!

    This.
    In my experience also, a lot of larger woman have had the "fake it till you make it" mentality. They're not all full of self esteem but they give that impression.
    I am a big believer in body acceptance, truly loving yourself where you are, but I also think once you accept yourself you want to give yourself the best treatment, and this includes becoming as healthy as you can be. It's not about size, it's about health.
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    I think it's because a large majority of people feel happier and more secure with themselves when they are smaller and thinner. I know I feel more confident when I lose weight.

    I do believe people can be bigger, yet still happy. As long as they are healthy too. :)
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    Just throwing this out there, why do people assume just because a person is heavyset, they are depressed with low self esteem? Believe it or not, there are gorgeous plus size people who give these skinny minnies a run for their money...Just don't get it...lol

    Around here, the old school "drowning yourself in food" is a common thought for the depression. Because we cant cope, we turn to food, blah blah blah.....

    Its alot of hocum
  • sorchagriannon
    sorchagriannon Posts: 27
    Because a lot of people want us fat girls to be depressed. It justifies the thought that we are all unhealthy slobs who envy any skinny person. It kinda goes along with when a heavy person criticizes a skinny person, it's just because we are jealous or envious, not because we may have a valid point.

    I admit to not having a lot of self confidence, but that comes from a long time before I was heavy, and will continue long after I lose this weight. It's just me and my personality (I am a shy introvert). I admire these women that exude confidence, even IF they are faking it.
  • amystyran
    amystyran Posts: 84 Member
    i was so much more miserable when i starved myself into a size 8-10 when i was 14 years old, now that i'm a size 16, i'm much happier within myself and i love my curves! :D go plus size! woo!
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    I admire these women that exude confidence, even IF they are faking it.

    Faking it can be good. But it can also mean people don't see what's real. And wouldn't it be nicer to be accepted as who you really are?
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    As someone who was naturally thin my entire life(like no more then a size 6) and then become big in college(size 10-12), I was absolutely miserable because this was not my body. It was some fat aliens body that I was living in and I hated it.

    Now that I've lost all my weight, I will never ever let myself get that big again.. because to me, it was disgusting. I'm much more happy where I am now, then where I was then.
  • robynj88
    robynj88 Posts: 104 Member
    Around here, the old school "drowning yourself in food" is a common thought for the depression. Because we cant cope, we turn to food, blah blah blah.....

    Its alot of hocum

    Damn straight, I turn to food because FOOD TASTES GOOD!! I'm not my ideal weight, but I'm not depressed about it. I just get on with sorting it out and losing some weight. Food is not a crutch for me, it's something I enjoy. I enjoy alcohol but it doesn't make me an alcoholic. I enjoy shopping but I'm not massively in debt. I hate those stereotypes. Some people might not have control over their eating but not ALL bigger people do.
  • apocalypsepwnie
    apocalypsepwnie Posts: 373
    OMG YES!!!

    For so long I believed what people thought/said about me. I'm still big.
    But I am my biggest fan!
    I'm not concerned if MFP doesn't help me lose weight, I'm actually happy at my size. Dressing in tiny clothes is not my thing. I've found a sport I can play which appreciates my size and makes the most of it.

    I feel very sad for people who try and justify their feelings towards me by making assumptions. Like when people use the words 'fat *****' oh god! Being heavy doesn't make me a crappy person! Weight has no real bearing on that!

    My boyfriend's x is the most fixated person on my weight personally that I have ever met. All her comments are about it and she can't separate anything she says about me from my weight. She can't come up with a good reason to not like me, or to tell the truth why she doesn't like me, so she just taps in to the easy reasons.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Most people carry extra weight a lot better than I do. I'm also a rather difficult personality, not one of those sweet women who light up a room when they walk in the door. So everything I do to enhance my appeal' helps.

    As for self confidence, I'm more self confident than I've ever been. No one is ever going to push me around, use me for their own ends, or do any harm to me at all ever again and get away with it. Not a boss, not a boyfriend, no one.

    If anything, I have way too much confidence to be living in the society I live in.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    Around here, the old school "drowning yourself in food" is a common thought for the depression. Because we cant cope, we turn to food, blah blah blah.....

    Its alot of hocum

    Damn straight, I turn to food because FOOD TASTES GOOD!! I'm not my ideal weight, but I'm not depressed about it. I just get on with sorting it out and losing some weight. Food is not a crutch for me, it's something I enjoy. I enjoy alcohol but it doesn't make me an alcoholic. I enjoy shopping but I'm not massively in debt. I hate those stereotypes. Some people might not have control over their eating but not ALL bigger people do.

    ****raises her Patron Margarita in agreement 8-)
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
    As someone who was naturally thin my entire life(like no more then a size 6) and then become big in college(size 10-12), I was absolutely miserable because this was not my body. It was some fat aliens body that I was living in and I hated it.

    Now that I've lost all my weight, I will never ever let myself get that big again.. because to me, it was disgusting. I'm much more happy where I am now, then where I was then.

    This exactly.
  • amystyran
    amystyran Posts: 84 Member
    ^^

    it's all about being happy in your own skin. as long as you feel comfortable and healthy, that should be all that matters!
  • cassidel
    cassidel Posts: 8 Member
    This has always been an issue for me, not feeling to good in the skin I'm in,, even though I have been a big girl all my life.
  • Lyssa62
    Lyssa62 Posts: 930 Member
    OMG I am soooooooo glad to see this topic. My kid thinks "I'm so vain" I've tried to tell him there is a difference. I go out of the house convinced I am "the bomb" and that's how I carry myself. Why should I think any less of myself just because I'm a double digit size (and sorry double 00 is NOT a size).. I dress to fit my size but I can dress cute too. ( I just make sure I cover it up) Ps..I'm 50 next month and have had lots of years to practice "the tude" :)
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
    this is actually something I have a hard time with. I have been "big" all my life and well, to be honest, I've always had a great amount of self confidence and self esteem! I think that's actually my biggest problem...I think maybe a little too highly of myself and therefore sometimes don't see the problem.

    This LOL!

    I almost think I have way too much confidence... I'm a little worried to see my confidence levels once I lose some weight.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Love yourself no matter what weight you're at. It's important. If you think that losing the weight will automatically change that you're in for a big shock. You can lose all the weight in the world and still see nothing but flaws and hate yourself for it.
  • urglewurgle
    urglewurgle Posts: 224 Member
    When I was big (16 stone) I thought I was happy and confident, when I lost weight and got to 130lbs I realised I hadn't really been happy, not compared to how I felt slim. I then put back on about 45lbs and felt worse than ever!
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    i would argue that you've lost the point of the thread. self esteem should not be reliant on looks. what's on the outside of a person will NEVER trump what's on the INSIDE. who i am isn't what i look like. i'm pretty dang awesome. but my outside needs work. that doesn't mean i don't walk tall (very tall, in my case) and it doesn't mean i don't have a lot of fun. it means i'm working on the outside.

    needing outside work =/= not being AWESOME.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    You can love yourself at any weight and you should. Hating yourself for being overweight accomplishes nothing anyway. It burns 0 calories.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    Love yourself no matter what weight you're at. It's important. If you think that losing the weight will automatically change that you're in for a big shock. You can lose all the weight in the world and still see nothing but flaws and hate yourself for it.

    yep.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    It's only when you love yourself (in a non-concieted and arrogant way) that you can only do what's best for you.
  • Ruthe8
    Ruthe8 Posts: 423 Member
    Why should I think any less of myself just because I'm a double digit size (and sorry double 00 is NOT a size)..
    That is not ok. Why do you think it's ok to say that someone can't be a certain size? Be comfortable with YOUR size, don't bash others for being what you consider "too small".
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    Wow, this thread took a nose dive off the cliffs of negativity.

    The reason I decided to lose weight was because I loved myself enough to want the best, healthiest body for me. Still a work in progress, still not happy with my body, but I like it more as my ticker moves forward, and as I try new workouts or learn to cook something new.

    Being overweight does not obligate you to hate yourself just like being in perfect health does not make a person lovable. Our inherent value as human beings does not diminish or increase, it just is, and I think a person is truly at their healthiest when they can recognize that gift of worth, accept it graciously, and extend it to others.

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