"You would be STUNNING if you just lost some weight"

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  • cheerforsteelers
    cheerforsteelers Posts: 686 Member
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    i ge it all the time or I get this one...." You're pretty for a big girl"....like really?? is it rare that a big woman is pretty or something?

    I've gotten that once or twice...it's like unsolicited "compliments". Or a few times I've had guys come up to me and tell me that I'm so pretty and no one should make me feel anything less. My size doesn't matter. I was like WHAT! It doesn't bother me, but it makes me wonder because usually I'm standing around minding my own business and someone happens to come up and say something. Why do they feel the need is what I want to know?
  • traceylynns
    traceylynns Posts: 155 Member
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    you are a awesome husband! my husband tells me this every time I turn around no matter if it is because I am discourage from not loosing or someones smug a** comment!!
    There is so much difference between a fat male and a fat female. Guys can be 50 over and still its not as big a deal as a girl that is 50 over. I dont think this is very fare but sometime people are just ****s!

    My wife is the most beautiful woman I know. She is over weight. Now if she was skinny would she be better looking? In society's eyes yes in my eye no! My wife is beautiful and attractive no matter what happens. I didn't marry her just for the way she looks! I love her because of the person she is! The mother of my children, the woman of my dreams! In this world shallowness is like a cancer that infects our young people and makes us think if we dont all look like supermodels then there is something wrong with us!

    Well I say F___ that! If people dont love you because of who you are as a person they are not worth your time! :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
  • Leeanne1974
    Leeanne1974 Posts: 207 Member
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    Erm hang on... To the person saying appearance is the attraction and weight isn't attractive etc...
    It might be the INITIAL attraction but it certainly ends there if the person is a complete ar$e. There is Celebrity Big Brother showing at the moment in the UK and there is a model in there called Jasmine Lennard. She is a nice looking woman, she says herself she needs to put on weight, but man she has a horrible personality. She picks fights, tells lies about the other housemates and is an out and out vile individual (In my opinion obviously not gospel). To me she looks ugly. Her face looks too big for her body, she has straggly hair and sallow skin. I didn't notice those things before she started being a total b1tch. Go figure.
    I used to date a man who was a Gym manager. He had a handsome face and a really buff body. He was also as interesting as watching paint dry. After a few weeks I found him thoroughly unattractive.
    So you can speak for yourself thank you, attraction is the whole package NOT just a physical appearance of a person.
  • SwimTheButterfly
    SwimTheButterfly Posts: 265 Member
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    Oh yeah! And : "You have such a pretty face!"


    I look forward to never hearing it again. After losing 55lbs, I still have a long way to go. Be glad when I have lost enough weight to never hear that again or have my weight loss minimized by a nurse who disgusted by my size.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    How rude. Yea, if that was a man that said it to you. He's worthless.
  • tantan2012
    tantan2012 Posts: 4 Member
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    oh ya..!! all my life..and it sucks!!
  • tigerlinly
    tigerlinly Posts: 219 Member
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    i feel same way it hurts that athe pretty clothes are for skinny people n us plus size people its like we arent good enough not that we arent all trying (i admit there are those who are not trying but i am trying)
  • mdcjmom
    mdcjmom Posts: 597 Member
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    That comment is the whole reason I started my weight loss journey.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    People can be so rude
    Not to mention, todays idea of "beauty" for most people is ridiculous. Ive seen so called beautiful super models. Gross!!

    I wonder why it's not acceptable on here to think overweight isn't physically attractive, yet nobody bats an eye when someone says the supermodel look is gross??? That's not rude then?
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just take it as someone's opinion and leave it at that.
  • Shannon2714
    Shannon2714 Posts: 843 Member
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    Stunning wasn't the word used, but yes...unfortunately...I've gotten this same comment many times.
  • aymetcalf
    aymetcalf Posts: 597 Member
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    Has anyone ever gotten this "compliment" before? Why am I not stunning now? :( Idk, it just hurts...like the only way I'll ever be desirable is if I'm skinny.

    Been there - done that - still get this one.... but you are stunning now - so shrug it off - ppl are so shallow. :flowerforyou:
  • gkwatra
    gkwatra Posts: 431 Member
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    Erm hang on... To the person saying appearance is the attraction and weight isn't attractive etc...
    It might be the INITIAL attraction but it certainly ends there if the person is a complete ar$e. There is Celebrity Big Brother showing at the moment in the UK and there is a model in there called Jasmine Lennard. She is a nice looking woman, she says herself she needs to put on weight, but man she has a horrible personality. She picks fights, tells lies about the other housemates and is an out and out vile individual (In my opinion obviously not gospel). To me she looks ugly. Her face looks too big for her body, she has straggly hair and sallow skin. I didn't notice those things before she started being a total b1tch. Go figure.
    I used to date a man who was a Gym manager. He had a handsome face and a really buff body. He was also as interesting as watching paint dry. After a few weeks I found him thoroughly unattractive.
    So you can speak for yourself thank you, attraction is the whole package NOT just a physical appearance of a person.

    SO TRUE!!
  • Nettabee
    Nettabee Posts: 296 Member
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    yeah, as well as "you have such a pretty FACE". cuz the rest sucks? people need to stop talking about 20 seconds sooner.

    THIS!
  • tigerlinly
    tigerlinly Posts: 219 Member
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    i had a lot of i dont date fat people in a 3 week period when i started trying to date again but at that time i wanst as big as i am not i was 50 lbs lighter but i was still kinda heavy
  • andrea198721
    andrea198721 Posts: 173 Member
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    Mine was pretty specifc lol You would be so hot if you lost 130 pounds in the next 6 months. i will even buy you a sexy black bikini. That came from a complete d-bag that I stopped talking to on that day. I was awesome/hot enough to sleep with ...but anyways. Have a real man now lol
  • brittanystcyr
    brittanystcyr Posts: 17
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    I've always gotten. "You're so pretty for a big girl" or "you would be so sexy if you just lost a little weight.
  • DelilahCat0212
    DelilahCat0212 Posts: 282 Member
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    People say that because wonderful person as you may be, attractiveness is attractiveness, and people don't tend to find obesity attractive.
    Yes, you should be valued as a person for your brain, and your heart, and your accomplishments, but those don't necessarily make you attractive.
    Attractiveness is physical, and an overweight person probably isn't as attractive as the same person without the extra fat.
    It's not a polite thing to say, but that doesn't make it untrue.

    If you want people to value you for who you are as a person, then ignore any commentary on your physical appearance. But don't go expecting people to change what is considered an attractive appearance.

    I politely disagree. Being attracted to someone because they are intelligent, sensitive, sweet, or funny can all be very valid reasons to like someone. I rarely date someone because they're "good-looking" You could have a 6-pack and the face of a model but if you're a total *kitten* I won't give you the time of day. I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect people to be less shallow and less judgmental.

    AGREE!!

    I'm pretty much a 2 bagger fat or skinny so it's what I've got to work with!
  • Masterdo
    Masterdo Posts: 331 Member
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    It's a weird concept that talking about weight is so taboo given that it's a very publicly displayed concept.

    Sugar coat it all you want, if you are fat, you are fat... You may be very nice, clever, funny, brilliant, that's great! But you are also fat. And physical attraction is very personal, usually not that rational, and it is very possible that someone can't get over this fact. At least they are being honest about what they feel and care enough about you to say it to you.

    Rejoice in the fact that you can do something about it at least. Hey, you could be dumb, now that's harder to fix :p
  • ModernLeper
    ModernLeper Posts: 7
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    When I started lifting weights as part of my weight loss plan, my own Mother said to me "You're going to end up being built like a brick **** house, I thought you were trying to LOSE weight"

    I think people just don't realise how insensitive, rude and unhelpful they are being.

    I just politely tell them that I am not lifting weights to fit in with their fat-phobic, beauty ideals learnt from years of media indoctrination, but so that I can hit harder.
  • Tatiyanya
    Tatiyanya Posts: 255 Member
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    I always found the "You would be stunning if you lost some weight" a strong motivation. I did drop lots of weight and people who told me that owned up to this and are my biggest supporters now. Sure I wont date them , cos they are shallow pr*cks but atleast they are honest shallow pr*cks ;).

    If you feel good with your current weight and body just reply to this backhand compliment: "i'm stunning now, thank you very much" cos that is what you are really . Why should you care about someone elses tastes and standards if you are /happy/ with yourself?
    If you want to lose some weight, use this as motivation.
    But never ever let it hurt you.

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