"You would be STUNNING if you just lost some weight"

I dont take to much offense to it. I know I am overweight and I know I looked better when I was thinner my facial features were more defined, clothes fit better and looked better on me. The funny thing about obesity you cant really hide it so why lie to yourself or others about your weight or goals. Everyone here wants to be healthy and thinner. Being thinner looks healthier and therfore is more attractive to people, including prospective mates. I dont mean to offend anyone but I too find people at a healthy weight more attractive. I think people can be overweight and still be beautiful but when you get obese then something needs to change, hence why I am here. I also think most people want those around them to be happy and many think being thin equates to happieness. Which may or may not be true. Lastly most of us on here who are overweight are unhealthy because we have made poor food and exercises choices and therefore can control are weight and when we dont that in itself is unattractive.

Years ago, a boyfriend said to me "You'd have a great figure if you lost some weight." I was too kind to say to him "And you'd be handsome if only you'd have a face transplant."

hahah

My favorite was "I'm so glad you're not in a huge rush to get married. Nobody likes a fat bride."

Wow...seriously? :noway: Some people have no boundaries...

I hated hearing that when I was bigger. it made me want to punch anyone who said that. I would tell them that when I do lose weight, it would be to benefit my health. Who give a rats butt about being stunning? I'd rather be healthy.

:

Umm yeah...lol we call those a "double bagger"

I see guys on this board, amazing bodies..and well the face doesn't match...he needs a bag over his head...poor fella. It goes both ways.

I call them prawns, keep the body lose the head

Yes ive been told this in the past...and now i say - screw you to the guys who said it...

ugh I have heard that MANY times! :mad: When I was 12 this lady (total stranger) stopped me in the street and said "You are such a pretty girl, you really should lose some weight" ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I am 33 yrs old and I still remember that so clearly... I was devastated. I have plenty of other examples but you get the point:grumble: … Don’t worry, you are going to do this and then when you have reached your goal you can be an inspiration to others like you! You’re beautiful. Period.

Response: "You would be so NICE if you'd just stop talking"

or, "Wow, did you just say that out loud? You must be so embarrassed!"

Sounds like you need to accept that fact that you're overweight in what is generally a thin-centric society. For most people, over weight isn't attractive.

Sounds like you need to accept that fact that you're overweight in what is generally a thin-centric society. For most people, over weight isn't attractive.

Or it could just be that people need to learn manners and not have diarrhea of the mouth

Say, "and you would be too if you weren't such an A**hole " =]

People say that because wonderful person as you may be, attractiveness is attractiveness, and people don't tend to find obesity attractive.
Yes, you should be valued as a person for your brain, and your heart, and your accomplishments, but those don't necessarily make you attractive.
Attractiveness is physical, and an overweight person probably isn't as attractive as the same person without the extra fat.
It's not a polite thing to say, but that doesn't make it untrue.

If you want people to value you for who you are as a person, then ignore any commentary on your physical appearance. But don't go expecting people to change what is considered an attractive appearance.

I politely disagree. Being attracted to someone because they are intelligent, sensitive, sweet, or funny can all be very valid reasons to like someone. I rarely date someone because they're "good-looking" You could have a 6-pack and the face of a model but if you're a total *kitten* I won't give you the time of day. I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect people to be less shallow and less judgmental.

I see what you're getting at and understand what you're talking about about; however there is quite the difference between being attracted to someone and someone being attractive. For instance, I think Rhianna is very attractive. Am I attracted to her? No. That chick has more issues than hoarders have tissues. I have to agree with kairisika with what she said. There is a standard of measurement that will always be in place...Heck! Everywhere else in the world uses the metric system while the US uses the standard. Why? It's what we're accustomed to and we just don't want to change it. Same with our standard of beauty. Would I look better with less fat around my face, neck, belly, and butt? Sure and I know this so therefore I have to work my butt off to get the job done because I love food way too much to just expect it to happen.
Please don't take their comments too seriously. They are just speaking from a place of societal norms.

While some of the comments in this thread are pretty cringe-worthy (including the title example), I think people often find offense where there isn't any. If someone says, "You have a pretty face," the only one making that negative is you. That person didn't have to compliment you at all, but they went out of their way to do so. They could have said nothing or said something tremendously insulting, like, "Wow, you're disgusting and ugly." But instead they point out something good about you. How the hell is that an insult?

Honestly, I take the "you have a pretty face" comment as far more complimentary than "you're gorgeous." I tend to feel insulted by the latter. Why? Because I know it isn't true. I know I have some good facial features and am good at putting on makeup. I also know that my body isn't attractive and I dress like s*** on top of it. Somebody who compliments one is more likely to be telling the truth than the other. I'd rather take the real compliment than someone blowing smoke up my *kitten*.

I think I would summarize this whole discussion with something my ex-Marine father told me early on in my often tortuous dating years (although I believe the original discussion was about rifles...but it still applies ): "Looks ain't everything, son." Damn simple and effective advice - been happily married for 20 years. Thanks Dad!

I also have such a pretty face. Well, I do but I'm sick of it! haha. You know butterface - her body is awesome but her face, ug!? I like to say I'm a butterbody. See it's 2 fold because I am so pretty "but her body ug!", and it's a body made courtesy of butter.

Joking aside though, yes I am sick of people telling me I have a pretty face. Or "you would be so pretty if you just..." Yeah I know I need to lose weight, a lot of it, but people need to mind their own business. Either compliment something about me and shut up or just plain shut up.

Overweight people experience rudeness and discrimination, and I think that surprises some people.