Need help convincing wife to join in weight loss/fitness

Count me in the "don't" group. I had this problem with my ex-husband. While I was busting my *kitten* working out, he was pigging out on fast food and reveling in his inactivity. I tried EVERY approach to motivate him, and only succeeded in creating more animosity in our relationship.

I say lead by example. Lose weight, get healthy, and hopefully she'll eventually be motivated to do the same when she sees how well it worked out for you.

Other than finding an active hobby like hiking or biking or tennis that you could do together, there is no way to force her to take action. Yes, it stinks when your significant other doesn't value their health the same way you do, but all you can do is love them anyways and keep encouraging. By encouraging, I don't mean suggesting. She needs to know she is beautiful the way she is. If you need to express your concern, make it about health, not weight.

You can't make her do it, she will when she decides it's worth the effort. She sees what you're doing and either it will click or it won't.

I would, however, have a heart to heart about the hostility you feel from her. You deserve her support whether she wants to join you in your effort or not.

^^^^^ agree

Hi all,
Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how I can get my wife to join me on my weight loss and fitness lifestyle adjustment.

I started mine in May 2012, and I was hoping to lead by example and that she would join in once she started seeing my results. Unluckily, my loss and fitness lifestyle change has added animosity (hostility) towards me for doing something about my weight. She gets annoyed when I'm logging my food intake and my exercising. She rolls her eyes anytime I bring up how much I've lost ("Lost 2 pounds this week...", etc) She says that she wants to do something, but that's about as far as it goes.

Any suggestions?

Hell no - dont.... you would be opening Pandora's box by thinking you can convince her.

You simply cant do that.... how would you like it if your wife pestered you, and you reacted to her the way she is reacting?

People have to be ready on their own.

If your wife is getting angry or hostile over your choosing to do this for yourself, then you need to sit with her and ask her "why are you getting mad over my wanting to lose weight for myself?".... She may not like the fact you keep mentioning your weight loss and take it as a personal attack against her and perhaps even one step further: it might come off as rubbing it in.

She has to do it when she is ready - not when you think she is ready. Dont push this otherwise that couch (like others have mentioned) may become your bed as a way to teach a lesson about how you are approaching this.

Yeah, just don't do it.

My guess is that every time you log, tell her how much you've lost, and generally focus on weight, she's taking that as some kind of "dig" at her. If she's already feeling bad about her weight, and you appear so focused on weight, then she probably thinks you're ripping on her lack of commitment to do better.

Try not to make such a big show of it. Take it down a notch at home, and love on her as much as you can. Refrain from saying that you think she should lose weight too. That much is already obvious. Remind her how much you love her, just as she is.

She'll get on board eventually, all on her own, and THAT is how you convince someone to lose weight. Just let them get there on their own.

I agree with everyone else, esp coming from the other side. When someone else is pushing you to lose weight/get healthy, it makes you feel lousy, like there's something wrong with you or that you are inadequate. And then you just get angry and pissed off with them. It's a lose-lose situation.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to get her on board until she decides she wants it badly enough. I went through the same thing with my ex, I tried everything - cooked, bought him workout videos, etc....He just had no interest and it made me feel worse and worse that I couldn't get him on board. We ended up breaking up because losing weight gave me the confidence I needed to get out of a bad relationship and never look back.

Keep doing what you are doing for yourself. It's great that you are so committed and you should be acknowledged for your accomplishments. It's not easy and every little bit counts. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do for yourself. If and when she is ready to get on board, she will

Calorie counting and food logging is not for everyone. Many of my friends go to weight watchers meetings or slimming world. I think they are a con when this site offers you the same support if not more for free but they all swear by it, and who am i to judge. Starting a weight loss journey when your over weight its very daunting as most here will know. She will do it when she is ready. In the mean time the better you do the more you will inspire her to take the 1st steps.

You can lead a horse to water but, you cannot make it drink. Show her the tools and when she is ready she will use them

There is no way you can convince her, and if anything trying to do so will just irritate her further.

The most I would do, if anything at all, is sit down and tell her that you really want her to join you on this life style change and you'll do whatever you can to help her if she chooses to do so.

When she sees other women taking notice of you, chances are she will get jealous. Jealousy is a mean motivator.
Just my thoughts on the matter.