Am I the only one that doesn't want friends??

135

Replies

  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    The people that have friended me here are almost all 'random' people, and I've got to say they're a great bunch. Some are talkers, some aren't. It doesn't bother me if they're there just to be voyeuristic, in fact the silent watching makes sense to me since I swing between being talkative to being dead quiet.

    The one thing I haven't had is someone giving me a hard time over what I'm doing or not doing. I do get suggestions now and again, which I appreciate, even if don't always agree with them.

    As for people who don't want friends? I don't think there's anything strange about it. Everyone has different ways of doing things and if it works for you that way, great.
  • KodAkuraMacKyen
    KodAkuraMacKyen Posts: 737 Member
    So...you want to reach out and connect with others who also don't want friends?

    *confused*

    This
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    Oh boy...
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    I didn't really want to just add strangers, myself, but going through forums or groups, you read something witty or helpful, and just think, yeah, I'd like to hear more of what they have to say. Now I pretty much accept anyone. If they weird me out, I'll delete them. Haven't had to do that, yet.
  • MemphisKitten
    MemphisKitten Posts: 878 Member
    No, you're not the only one. My bf uses MFP and won't even add ME as a friend bc he hates seeing all of MY friends comments on everything! So he has NO friends on here!
  • AGGUK73
    AGGUK73 Posts: 91 Member
    No It's not weird. Mfp is a tool for you to use for your health and wellness. How you utilize the rest of the site is your business really. I see nothing wrong with it either way.

    A reasonable perspective. Right up until the point where you post a thread about it... :)

    It's an open forum, have you seen how many pointless threads are on here. If it offends you sorry, but your opinion is still welcome. That's what public forum's are for, with acception to the trolls that even find there way on here!! (not meaning you)
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    Before you all slate me, I totally get what this site is designed for......help & support, BUT, I can't be the only person who doesn't want to add random people I don't know?? Yeh, I know.......don't then......so I don't. But how many do you reckon are just into 'vouyeurism' & just want to 'gawp' at what your eating, & then slag you off or give you a load of advice based on what?? Don't get me wrong I like the community forums, but that's because I can pick & choose what I participate in. Oh, maybe I'm just miserable & un-sociable............actually I like people that I know in real life :wink: :laugh:

    Nah I don't think so. Some people don't like random people know their business.
  • GhostPack
    GhostPack Posts: 197 Member
    so
  • seed_of_wonder
    seed_of_wonder Posts: 202 Member
    ha me tooo! i had quite a few friends on here but then ended up deleting them all because id rather be kept to myself
  • CaWaterBug8
    CaWaterBug8 Posts: 1,040 Member
    So...you want to reach out and connect with others who also don't want friends?

    *confused*

    No I was bored so created a post :smile:

    To talk to voyeurs on t'interweb... ?

    I'm banking on them not all being voyeurs, & besides my profile is closed (I hope) :wink:
    .




    I don't even know where to start, but I'll tell you this: it's not closed.

    ETA: You wouldn't be bored if you had the awesome friends I have on here.
  • gibsy
    gibsy Posts: 112
    I didn't add friends for a long time either, but then I realized that I could add people from the forums who seemed actually pretty cool, and interact with them in a space that wasn't full of thousands of other yahoos. Since I've begun adding friends, I'm happier with MFP. Not one single person on my friends list has ever gawked at my diary or been rude to me in any way (and if they were, delete! ignore!) I find having a handful of good people on my friends list is more helpful and enjoyable than the forums, and it keeps me logging in to have people to interact with.

    Nothing weird about not wanting to add strangers though.
  • AnneC77
    AnneC77 Posts: 284
    Each to their own I suppose, but I love my friends on here. Some are funny and keep me motivated, some are truly inspirational and help me to believe that I can do what they have achieved and some offer great fitness tips. I don't know what I would be without my friends on here.

    If you didn't want people looking at what you eat, you can close your diary so people can't see, you can delete those that annoy you etc and keep those that help you. It is all in your control, so I don't really understand your reasoning, but meh we are all different lol
  • snowdrop_diva
    snowdrop_diva Posts: 142 Member
    If you didn't want people looking at what you eat, you can close your diary so people can't see, you can delete those that annoy you etc and keep those that help you. It is all in your control, so I don't really understand your reasoning, but meh we are all different lol

    ^ THIS :drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Haha I was like that at first. Then I started accepting friends and OMG *THAT* is when this party starrrrrrted! So much fun.
  • littlelady62
    littlelady62 Posts: 84
    I almost feel the same way you do. It makes me feel like I'm bothering other people with my weight problem, but yet I know they offer their support . I've tried to find friends that are close where I live in order to find a walking friend.:smile:
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    No It's not weird. Mfp is a tool for you to use for your health and wellness. How you utilize the rest of the site is your business really. I see nothing wrong with it either way.

    A reasonable perspective. Right up until the point where you post a thread about it... :)

    It's an open forum, have you seen how many pointless threads are on here. If it offends you sorry, but your opinion is still welcome. That's what public forum's are for, with acception to the trolls that even find there way on here!! (not meaning you)

    Which bit of my post suggested 'offence' to you?

    In the post I quoted, the view that you don't *need* friends is entirely reasonable. There's a logical incoherence in the OP's stance. 'I don't want friends, because I don't want random interweb people commenting on my stuff, but I've started a thread on the interweb, inviting random interweb to comment on my choice not to add friends'.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Do you walk into a party or bar or club or even your job and decide, I'm not talking to anyone here, I have enough friends already? Why limit yourself to only what you already know? I have 140+ people on my friends list and only about a half dozen of them do I know outside of MFP. And I have gained so much in friendship (YES real friendship) from the all of those people and am very grateful to have them in my life.

    Open your mind, broaden your horizons...you might like it.

    Being in a 'real' social situation cannot be compared to cyber relationships. It's not like for like, & never will be. In real life you wouldn't be in public & decide you didn't want to 'socialise'. Your face to face & having a verbal conversation with body language etc. which helps you make an informed choice whether this person is 'friend' material. I have exactly the same opinion with facebook, although that has no point to it, where as MFP does. I'm not knocking the people who add random people. I just don't 'get' it & it's not for me. I prefer to actually 'know' my mates in person, just my feeble opinion.


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    We would not get along. Here OR in person. :wink:
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    And yet, you socialized with strangers in the forums to state how you would rather not socialize with strangers.... hm, well that's interesting.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Do you walk into a party or bar or club or even your job and decide, I'm not talking to anyone here, I have enough friends already? Why limit yourself to only what you already know? I have 140+ people on my friends list and only about a half dozen of them do I know outside of MFP. And I have gained so much in friendship (YES real friendship) from the all of those people and am very grateful to have them in my life.

    Open your mind, broaden your horizons...you might like it.

    Being in a 'real' social situation cannot be compared to cyber relationships. It's not like for like, & never will be. In real life you wouldn't be in public & decide you didn't want to 'socialise'. Your face to face & having a verbal conversation with body language etc. which helps you make an informed choice whether this person is 'friend' material. I have exactly the same opinion with facebook, although that has no point to it, where as MFP does. I'm not knocking the people who add random people. I just don't 'get' it & it's not for me. I prefer to actually 'know' my mates in person, just my feeble opinion.


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    We would not get along. Here OR in person. :wink:

    Which is really too bad. I treat my friends here VERY well. ;)
  • rhonniema
    rhonniema Posts: 522 Member
    Random people are fun.
    If they do turn out to be creepy or judgmental it's 2 clicks to delete.

    The first go around I tried doing this without friends & it didn't work.
  • GhostPack
    GhostPack Posts: 197 Member
    I hate strangers. I talk to them until they hate me too.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I can't decide which I find more entertaining: irony or people pointing out the irony as if they were the only one to notice it.
  • aftergypsies
    aftergypsies Posts: 248 Member
    I have exactly one friend on here. I don't mind meeting new people or whatever but honestly, I had my diary open once and I was 200 (uncounted) calories short of my daily goal and this random person messages me to lecture about it. Wtf? So now I am weary about adding people. I don't need nor want your opinion on what I eat. Haha. I feel you, OP.
  • LaurenLite
    LaurenLite Posts: 87
    I used to feel the same way but then I started adding friends and not only is it encouraging to see their success stories and their struggles, it's also nice to have them stop in and say hi or to tell me to keep going. I find I check more often, I LIKE giving and getting advice (doesn't mean I have to take it.... but some people DO have good ideas and looking through their food journal gives me ideas on low cal foods or things I haven't thought of yet).
    I'll admit I was REALLY slow to get on that bandwagon. I have always been very private about what I eat and don't eat... but now it seems so natural. Good luck, you may come around. If so, add me. I:)
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    I first began my current (and FINAL) weight loss effort by joining another site kind of like this, but slightly less awesome. One of the most helpful aspects of doing so was accumulating friends who were also trying to lose weight & having the ability to see their food diaries. I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person & I've heard/read many things about nutrition, like how important it is to eat protein when you exercise, limit sodium if you have high blood pressure, stuff like that. But what do you EAT to meet those types of goals?

    Sure, I could have spent hours/days/weeks/months doing extensive research to build massive lists of foods I actually like with acceptable nutritional value...or I could FR someone with similar goals & ask them hey, what do YOU eat?

    As time has gone on & I've become more interested in fitness goals, every time I hear about something new, I can come here & either search the forums or post a topic to see what others think about it. Then I can decide if it's something worth investigating further. I don't treat anecdotal information as automatic truth, but it does still have value because it saves me time educating myself.

    That said, there are many people on this site who use it exclusively for the food/exercise diaries & that's their prerogative. Do what works for you. Personally, the community aspect of sites like this has contributed far more to my success than I imagined it would, & many of the people on my FL here have become my friends in real life.
  • seekingstrengthX2
    seekingstrengthX2 Posts: 771
    I am anti-social and get what you are saying. I didnt accept random people for a long time, then stressed about it when I finally did. I still only have like 22 friends as I always end up removing people who 1) post all the time about every single detail of their day, 2) are starving themselves 3) are always complaining and feeling sorry for themselves 4) rag me because I decided to eat at McDonalds, etc. That rules out a lot of people LOL.
  • AGGUK73
    AGGUK73 Posts: 91 Member
    Can always rely upon you yanks to turn a thread sour & personal (not all I may add). To some of you, enjoy your time together, just clarified why I don't want friends on here........BYE :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
    Back to REAL life now my boredom has eased..............have fun in cyberland :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Septlondon
    Septlondon Posts: 45 Member
    Having friends is a two way communication. I don't have the time to be a good friend on here. I would only let people down by not being responsive enough to them. I enjoy reading posts when i get time, make very occasional comments, have noticed some regular posters on some of my favourite sites whos comments I am interested in. I find this site very helpful, just using it in this way. I think one of the sites strenghts is that it is so versitile and meets so many differnet levels of interest, need, use, commitment, and interaction.
  • Jebbster007
    Jebbster007 Posts: 265 Member
    So i'm not sure why you posted. Is it just to get affirmation from people you don't know based on the fact that they don't want friends either. Why even post? I myself find the friends I've made here absolutely invaluable to my weight loss goals. Its fine if you don't want to use the social aspect of the site.....but then....why post if you're not looking for interaction??? Its the most confusing post I've ever read........please, a bunch of people I don't know....tell me you're like me and don't want friends....so I can feel better about not wanting friends??? LOL. I'm sorry.....i don't hate you.....but this is the most hilarious thing I've ever read.
  • LaurenLite
    LaurenLite Posts: 87
    Wow. I've never had that experience and I'm under calories every day. Of course I wouldn't pay attention to that person at all. We all have our own diet routines (and we all have days where we don't feel well, don't feel like eating as much, etc). If a person says they're struggling or not losing weight, I'll look at their diary and make suggestions, but they're just suggestions. I don't care whether they take them or not. I just know what works for me (and that may NOT work for another person). But I also like to get suggestions (not silly things like- "You're not eating enough calories" because they don't know me, my lifestyle, or my purpose... I don't eat a lot of calories, but everything I eat IS packed with good-for-you things. This shouldn't be a place where people come to blast others for what they eat or what they don't eat, but to support them on THEIR goals. ^_^

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