I'd rather stay home than let them see how fat I am

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13

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  • KimWW
    KimWW Posts: 301 Member
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    Like many others who have posted, I have been exactly where you are. I still am in some ways. Last month I visited the city I had lived in 30 years ago, but didn't go see any of my childhood friends. I could not bear the thought of seeing someone who had not seen me since I was a child. Some college friends have invited me to come visit them, but even that is too much, even though I was obese when they knew me.

    Fear is a big motivator. Just make sure that you only let it motivate you in the right direction. Change what you are afraid of!
    Letting the fear cage you in your home is not helping anyone, not you, not your husband, not the the people you would see if you went out.
  • MonicaT1972
    MonicaT1972 Posts: 512
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    Until you are ready to change for yourself you wont....plain and simple.

    From what you posted you are not ready to make any changes at all unfortunately.

    Have you thought about getting professional help to change your can't attitude to can?
  • Naomipal
    Naomipal Posts: 25 Member
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    Take today's outing as your "before" photo - when you get to your goal make sure you go see those people again - it will be an amazing confidence boost!

    GREAT IDEA!!

    I third that!
  • angeldove85
    angeldove85 Posts: 25
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    I hope you had a nice time at the party! :) The first time I did that- didn't let myself go out with my husband because of how I looked- that was one my moments that have gotten me to stick to exercising and dieting. Remember even when you are working really hard to exercise and eat right, it will take months before a person reaches his or her goal. I can't honestly imagine myself at 160 lbs, BUT what I can handle is TODAY.

    Today I can exercise for 35 minutes and get some strength training in for my arms. Today I can avoid foods that I would eat too much of and aren't healthy for me at least for breakfast and lunch. Today I know I can go to bed without over-stuffing myself with food in order to be comfortable feeling. Today I know I can go out with my husband to a party and I can nibble a little bit of something I enjoy- and that I can tell myself to stop and know I will stop. Today i can make the choice to enjoy spending time with family and friends :)

    I can only handle today- not tomorrow, next week, or next month. And nobody can take away today from me. :)
  • ohmariposa
    ohmariposa Posts: 372 Member
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    Take today's outing as your "before" photo - when you get to your goal make sure you go see those people again - it will be an amazing confidence boost!

    GREAT IDEA!!

    I third that!
    I also agree with that. I actually have my yucky pre MFP days photo on here from a bday party last year to remind me NEVER again. Go and have fun :) and take the BEFORE pic!
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
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    Think what their reaction will be, next time, when you lose that 130; that'll be fun.

    I'm rooting for you.
  • KellyR72
    KellyR72 Posts: 51 Member
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    As someone who has been a yo-yo dieter all my life, I can absolutely relate to this. I have often wondered if people who hadn't seen me in awhile wondered how I would look. It gets old. I got tired of it and decided to take control and make positive changes...one day at a time. Good luck to you!
  • chammich
    chammich Posts: 104 Member
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    I know how you feel. I am the same way. I basically anti social since I have gained weight..and it's not healthy for my kids to see.
  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
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    Guessing that you are here to change that feeling! However, I remember it all too well so I will cheer you on & say that it is more important that you do this for yourself and everyone else will benefit from a happier you..........
    Friend me if you need some support!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    You can do it! Remember, just let them see you now, and they'll be so impressed with your weight loss next time you see them! If they're nice enough people, they won't care that you've gained weight.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
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    If it helps, whenever I attend such get-togethers, nearly everyone has gained weight. You're unlikely to be the only one.
  • lauralkinnan
    lauralkinnan Posts: 1
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    I truly admire your courage!! First of all to be honest with yourself and to be brave enough to share your struggles with others is commendable. Thank you for that. I find this happening to me more and more. Second, to see that I am not the only one going through this is more helpful than anything up to this point!
  • Lipstickcherry
    Lipstickcherry Posts: 122 Member
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    I totally relate. I recently didn't go to my latest highschool reunion get-together because of my weight-gain. I should have gone and taken before pictures. It's hard when I hear back things like people I used to go to church with saying "Melissa looks like she lost some weight!" coming to me through the grapevine since I know they were probably noticing the weight gain. (I have yo-yo'd up and down, hopefully that is now a thing of the past with this new eating plan I am on that seems to be working). Great thread and advice in here.
  • DangerSass
    DangerSass Posts: 124 Member
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    You brave, brave woman. Remember this day and when you reach goal, which you absolutely will, remember this day again and hold your head up knowing YOU made a change. Each day wake up making a change, those changes add up and pay back big time.


    :heart:, Sass
  • caslyn3
    caslyn3 Posts: 70 Member
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    I have been there! I have always started diets and stopped.. because I felt like I wasn't losing weight and I had no encouragement at all. Then one day I seen my friends Before and After blog - 1 year later success pics.. I thought, OMG.. she is a totally different person.. and on that day.. I said I want to be a totally different person.. I am tired of these "diets".. I need to make a lifestyle change.. I won't lie, it is hard as hell! But, 22 lbs and 80 days later.. I already feel amazing :-) More confident in myself, more energy, more motivation to get to that next 10 lbs.. and then some.. I can't wait until I can post my success stories on here.. I recently ran across someone else profile.. and I had to jack his quote.. But I want you to live by this.. I promise you, it helps and tell yourself everyday..

    "no more.... this is it... this is as bad as it gets... this is as big as I get "

    Good luck with your journey! And go kick *kitten* tonight - You can do it!!!
  • jenniferedwards123
    jenniferedwards123 Posts: 13 Member
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    Thank you everyone! I'm grateful for the encouraging words. I'm wiping the tears away and going to go get this over with. I'm sure you are all right - it won't be as bad as I think.

    Go in with a positive attitude! The people if they are true friends will not care how much you weigh. And I agree with the above poster, take this as the first step to a new you!
  • marijasmin
    marijasmin Posts: 160 Member
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    I would like to tell a rather amusing tale.
    I had cancer and lost most of my hair. I felt I looked awful with my chenobyl look So...
    I bought wigs, red ones, blond ones, dark ones, short ones, long ones, tatty ones, bobbed ones. In total rang the changes with almost a dozen different wigs. Even had a sparkly purple one.

    Every day I wore a different wig. And do you know- some people didn't even notice such major changes every day!!
    Ask any guy who has shaved off his beard or a lass who has new glasses or hair cut.

    People are too involved in what people think of them to worry about what they think of others. They will have put on weight, got wrinles, cankles, bad dresses, lost teeth, droopy boobs, had babies, too much sun, divorced, bags under the eyes, car crashes, scars, bad marriages etc. They will be worried that they haven't achieved, have become alcoholics, gamblers, got fleas, twenty kids and have no money. Yours is only weight and can be changed as you are proving, right here and right now.
    fantastic....

    MJ
  • TropicalFlowerz
    TropicalFlowerz Posts: 1,990 Member
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    Hold yur head up Mama!!! and smile! most folks are too busey worring bout themselves!! You go to this thing,and walk in there like you are at yur goal weight,besides what they think does not matter! have a great time!
  • rhettafaye
    rhettafaye Posts: 2
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    I wanted to reply to your post because I feel like I could have written the exact same post!! You are not alone in how you feel!! I too have not gone to bbqs or gatherings because of how much weight I have gained. But only just recently have I decided I will attend my husbands company picnics and the such. I am embarrassed for sure but I try to do a little something that makes me feel pretty. I might put on a little makeup or some pretty lip gloss or something that makes me feel pretty even though I am embarrassed by my size. I just wanted to let you know that there are others who are going through the exact same feelings you are and you can reach out to us for support!! We have obvioulsy made a decision to better ourselves by joining MFP. We can do this!!!!
  • inraptorswetrust
    inraptorswetrust Posts: 45 Member
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    If you don't want to go, then don't go. it's as simple as that. But don't punish your husband and keep him from going out and seeing his friends.

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