The Boys side of the gym!

bms34b
bms34b Posts: 401 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Currently, I'm doing NROL for women. I just recently restarted the first phase. After getting halfway through phase two, school started, and suddenly I had access to a complete gym. So, I've been lifting there since last monday. So far, I've been ignored for the most part. A few curious looks, but mostly just ignored. That was fantastic!
Today, though, when asking someone if they were using a bar I wanted to use to deadlift, I was called sweetheart.

WHAT!? Is that really okay!? Any ladies have experiences like this or men that would like to defend what this chump called me? I'm all for being flattered, but context is everything. Yuck.
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Replies

  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,024 Member
    Don't worry your pretty little head about it sugar! LOL
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    Relax, its like when people use the term "son" or "pal".
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    Currently, I'm doing NROL for women. I just recently restarted the first phase. After getting halfway through phase two, school started, and suddenly I had access to a complete gym. So, I've been lifting there since last monday. So far, I've been ignored for the most part. A few curious looks, but mostly just ignored. That was fantastic!
    Today, though, when asking someone if they were using a bar I wanted to use to deadlift, I was called sweetheart.

    WHAT!? Is that really okay!? Any ladies have experiences like this or men that would like to defend what this chump called me? I'm all for being flattered, but context is everything. Yuck.

    You said school started... are you lifting on a college campus? You're just going to have to deal with it. I work at a rec center on a college campus, and while most people mind their own business, you will get comments occasionally (everyone does from time to time). Just ignore it.

    What are you going to do when people actually WANT to hurt your feelings?
  • Bakkasan
    Bakkasan Posts: 1,027 Member
    VERY few women do serious lifting at my gym and my wife does get stares when doing deadlifts and squats. Sweetheart is pretty benign even in context but I do understand where you are coming from.
  • TroJon
    TroJon Posts: 15 Member
    Guys call each other (when they do not know each other) -

    Bro

    Brah

    Pal

    Mate

    ***

    Please don't take offence lol - it's just normal!

    A lot of people who start training in the weights section sometimes also see certain behaviours as rude/aggressive, but it really isn't!

    I personally wouldn't call a female I do not know anything, although I say "mate" a lot to everyone :/
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    I can't remember being called something like that at the gym (which is all male except me) but I may have and just not remembered. I get called love, sweetheart etc a few times in certain social situations... nothing flirty, just casually.

    I honestly would not have a problem with that. Some men call every woman they speak to that, it's like second nature to them. If you don't like it, just ignore and move on.

    If it was said in a flirty / suggestive way, all you have to do is mention you don't feel comfortable with that, and that you're there to workout.
  • Need2bfit918
    Need2bfit918 Posts: 133 Member
    i have had older woman refer to me as sweetie.its usually older people or people from certain parts of the country where they just talk that way. if he was saying it to be condescending thats different. but thats hard to tell
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
    Wow, who knew politeness would garner such a negative reaction. He didn't make an offensive innuendo, didn't swear, didn't wolf whistle or anything else particularly provocative. I don't see a problem here other than a little oversensitivity to a term that seems to be pretty commonly used in the South.
  • sydnisd183
    sydnisd183 Posts: 247 Member
    Relax, its like when people use the term "son" or "pal".
    ^this, mostly.^



    I rarely hear anyone though because my headphones are always jamming lol
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    LOL Gorilla!!
    Perhaps try your gym in the earliest AM time.
    That is when I go (about 4:30AM)
    Staying busy, quiet and focused helps.
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    Some men call every woman they speak to that, it's like second nature to them.

    Slightly older guy (40+) I'll wager. I'll agree. It was probably just out of habit. Do you know how many older women call men "darling" or "sweetie"? I hear it all the time. Good old southern sweetness like ice tea on a hot day. Just expect it.

    If he was being flirty he wouldn't have picked "sweetheart".
  • RainbootsToBikinis
    RainbootsToBikinis Posts: 465 Member
    Wow, who knew politeness would garner such a negative reaction. He didn't make an offensive innuendo, didn't swear, didn't wolf whistle or anything else particularly provocative. I don't see a problem here other than a little oversensitivity to a term that seems to be pretty commonly used in the South.

    This. I have a friend who calls everyone sweetheart or hun it's just the way he talks. Doesn't mean anything by it. I actually LIKE it when men are polite to me, I know it's a new concept these days.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    I got more offended when I asked to work in with a man and was told NO, that I could wait until he was done.

    :angry:
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    If you get this offended by being called sweetheart, I'd hate to see what would happen if someone were actually insulting. That's about the nicest thing he could have said! If only everyone were that nice...
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    IDK. I live in Texas. Everyone is "sweetheart", "sugar", "honey", "doll", etc. :indifferent:
  • Determinednoob
    Determinednoob Posts: 2,001 Member
    Don't worry your pretty little head about it sugar! LOL

    lulz

    You said it brah!
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Um. Grow a pair.
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
    Smile back, take the bar, do your workout and be on your way. There was absolutley nothing offensive to make an entire post on here about.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
    I can't really comment, unless I heard the tone in his voice and the look on his face. In a situation like that, body language would speak a lot more than words.

    Frankly, if I were in that situation, I'd probably say "Hun," but I call most girls I meet "hun."
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    I wouldn't get offended til I started hearing Ma'am ..... I had a group of teenagers ask me a few months ago "Sir, Are you done with the preacher curl bench.." LOL Sir, I would tend to believe that to be just a polite gesture but I kinda got the vibe of more of an Older sentiment... I don't take offense to it what so ever.. Words are words and I just let them roll of me, life is far to short to stress over stuff like that..... Best of Luck
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Well he didn't know your name.

    He could have called you ma'am. But that would have made you feel old and upset you.

    Or he could have called you miss. But that would have made you feel like a child and disrespected.

    He could have gone with madame. But that would make you feel like you run a brothel.

    So we're left with honey, sugar, sweetheart, toots, etc. All of which also upset women.



    The problem is not men. The problem is women getting offended at literally everything.
  • Need2bfit918
    Need2bfit918 Posts: 133 Member
    I wouldn't get offended til I started hearing Ma'am ..... I had a group of teenagers ask me a few months ago "Sir, Are you done with the preacher curl bench.." LOL Sir, I would tend to believe that to be just a polite gesture but I kinda got the vibe of more of an Older sentiment... I don't take offense to it what so ever.. Words are words and I just let them roll of me, life is far to short to stress over stuff like that..... Best of Luck
    lol thats what i though the first time i was called sir
  • chuisle
    chuisle Posts: 1,052 Member
    In the strictest terms, no, I don't really think its okay. It's patronizing.

    But, for the most part, people mean no harm by it and usually it's coming from a good place so I don't let those things get to me.

    Sometimes guys offers to move weights for me, which I find hilarious. I'm about to go squat my body weight...I don't need you to pick up the 45 lbs oly bar for me :)

    Just keep on!
  • S1NN3R
    S1NN3R Posts: 452 Member
    Well he didn't know your name.

    He could have called you ma'am. But that would have made you feel old and upset you.

    Or he could have called you miss. But that would have made you feel like a child and disrespected.

    He could have gone with madame. But that would make you feel like you run a brothel.

    So we're left with honey, sugar, sweetheart, toots, etc. All of which also upset women.



    The problem is not men. The problem is women getting offended at literally everything.

    I'm offended! :laugh:
  • Plates559
    Plates559 Posts: 869 Member
    sweatheart, sugar, honey, sweet, love, girl, miss, ma'am, lady, sugar bottom...


    BAN ME I'M OFFENSIVE!
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    Well he didn't know your name.

    He could have called you ma'am. But that would have made you feel old and upset you.

    Or he could have called you miss. But that would have made you feel like a child and disrespected.

    He could have gone with madame. But that would make you feel like you run a brothel.

    So we're left with honey, sugar, sweetheart, toots, etc. All of which also upset women.



    The problem is not men. The problem is women getting offended at literally everything.

    I'm offended! :laugh:

    YEAH!:angry:
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Well he didn't know your name.

    He could have called you ma'am. But that would have made you feel old and upset you.

    Or he could have called you miss. But that would have made you feel like a child and disrespected.

    He could have gone with madame. But that would make you feel like you run a brothel.

    So we're left with honey, sugar, sweetheart, toots, etc. All of which also upset women.



    The problem is not men. The problem is women getting offended at literally everything.

    :angry: How dare you, sir!


    He's right. I doubt the guy meant anything by it unless he was licking his lips and saying it in a swarmy way. Since you didn't really give us anything else to go on (sleazy body language, tone of voice in which it was said) I am going to go with it was harmless. :wink:
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    *flips the script*

    I'm offended you referred to it as the "boys" side of the gym. We are grown men and expect to be treated as such.


    Fun game, isn't it?
  • Bakerchk
    Bakerchk Posts: 424 Member
    That wouldn't have bothered me, but everyone has their limits. I had a guy correct me on my deadlift stance and at first I was really irritated, but he wasn't being a jerk, he was actually just trying to help. I've been doing NROLFW for about 4 weeks and I'm still trying to get comfortable in the weight room.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    Well he didn't know your name.

    He could have called you ma'am. But that would have made you feel old and upset you.

    Or he could have called you miss. But that would have made you feel like a child and disrespected.

    He could have gone with madame. But that would make you feel like you run a brothel.

    So we're left with honey, sugar, sweetheart, toots, etc. All of which also upset women.



    The problem is not men. The problem is women getting offended at literally everything.
    ^^This.

    Never realized sweetheart was so offensive.

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