Don't Judge but 30/M going from 1200 to 1500 - Nervous

So, I know you are strapped for time, so please don't feel like you have to respond to this. I won't find it rude or offensive. I just wanted to point a couple things out.

First of all, I guarantee you that 1500 calories will still be a calorie deficit for you. No doubt in my mind. Therefore, you should not fear moving up to that amount. As has been said, you might see a TEMPORARY uptick in your weight, so give it a couple weeks before giving up on it.

Additionally, if you try something new in your nutritional plan and it doesn't work, who cares? All you do is adjust it again, until you find what works. You've already proven that you can lose the weight. So if you try something that ends up putting 10 pounds on, so what? You can lose it again. Think of it as a scientific experiment. Every new test you try gets you closer to the correct answer.

I think you will be pleasantly surprised with the increased calories results. Good luck to you.

1st off, u are doing great! pat yourself on the back! 2nd, I can't tell you exactly what to expect because we are all different but I would reccomend you do go up those 300 calories but SLOWLY, maybe in 50-100 calorie increments? This week go up 50-100 then add more to that next week. At 1500 u won't pack on the pounds. Also, nothing is permanent. Give it a week or 10 days to allow your body to acclimate but if it isn't working for you, go back to what is working for you now. You know what is best for YOU and you are doing great so hang in there. I just have one cautionary thing for you to think about and mull over. When you consume less than 1200 calories you aren't just burning fat but also muscle. You really can't afford to lose muscle because when you do lose muscle, you don't get to choose which muscle. You can be losing heart muscle! So going to 1500 is not only going to give you more energy but strengthen your muscles...including your heart! It's a win-win. So if you do put on a couple pounds just remember that muscle weighs more than fat and you could be rebuilding muscles that may need some re-nourishment from the earlier phase of your diet. A good way to keep it all in check is to take measurements right before you up the calories and begin strength training. Using stuff around the house is a great idea to do that, by the way. Good idea.

First off, relax. I'm pretty sure you've gotten lots of good advice in this thread - people are not going to jump on you as a stay at home dad, etc. As someone who is a part-time home father for years (my wife travelled) - it can be incredible difficult to fit time for yourself in there. But having been there - it is a question of priorities - schedule it and do it, even if it is a short ride to the supermarket.

Congratulations on how far you have come.

Whatever you decide to try - each time give yourself 3-4 weeks of time to see how your body adjusts.

By eating way under - you've fasted fast and that works for a while but your body will adjust and it will require more effort until you eventually fail or achieve an ED. Your body will not let you starve. Bringing back the calories to a more reasonable deficit will likely create a yoyo-like effect in the first weeks - but I was surprised by how much easier it was to stay at a smaller deficit and how effective it was in the longer term. Especially as you approach objective.

Anyway, I see that you already have more than the best advice in this thread.
But a question - Isn't 135lbs really too low?

You people rock!

I'd like to agree with others on the thread about getting your kids involved with your exercise. If you can get them involved, even for as little as 20mins every few days it will be setting them up for a much healthier adulthood. I understand what you're saying about them being 'braniac' rather than athletic types but this shouldn't stop you. Go on a nature walk with them in a park getting them to try and identify the different bugs they find, or get them walking round doing a survey of car colours if you're in a built up area - try to take their minds of the fact they're going for a walk! This should also help with some of the social nervousness as they will have more focus. Just because you won't be burning hundreds of calories doesn't mean you won't be getting any benefit (and do log the walk on here to get an idea of how good for you it actually is!).
You could always do what I saw a guy do at the olympics and do weightlifing reps with his son as the weight!

As a teacher I also feel the need to express concern that you're letting your kids stay up so late in the holidays. It's really important to try and get a well maintained sleeping pattern so they aren't having to readjust too much when they go back to school. Good sleep patterns are one of the most important contributors to successful learning! If they're being more active in the day then that will also help them sleep in the evenings.
Hope I don't sound too pushy and feel free to ignore me if you want. I just hope that you manage to find a way of getting a better balance in your life

Hi,

first of all, I applaud you to be manly enough to take on the job of stay-at-home dad and housekeeper (and butler ) - not sedentary at all, but I chose that level for the BMR as well, even though I run around all day being the one bringing home the bacon (or, I should say, the low-fat ham).

Okay, to your question: as you already know, nothing is written in stone, and you have a good grasp of tracking your food already. So just try it out. If you find you gain from an increased 300 cal intake, reduce it to 200. If you find you lose and end up losing too much (personally, I think 132 is really low for a man at 5'8, but I am sure you now what is best for you), add another 50 or 100 cal.

Congratulations on your loss - now you have the luxury of playing with your calories - so just listen to your body and adjust and tweak where and when you need to!!

Cheers
Karin

I haven't read all the responses and forgive me if my post perhaps adds to a bunch of others on the same topic.

You don't need to exercise to lose weight. Ive done that successfully and kept it off for years. It will, however, help you with body composition. It sounds like you are at a good weight but find spots that are not satisfying. This could be a body composition issue more so than a weight one.

It is common for homemakers to feel the need to take care of everyone else at the expense of themselves. Kudos to you for logging and working on your diet with dedication. That says you have some ability to let go of the guilt homemakers often feel when they take the time for themselves. The hard part is there is ALWAYS something else to do. It never stops really. The reality is homemakers need to work at balancing their time and support may be needed to let go of the guilt if things are less than perfect. The reality is, even for a bad *kitten* homemaker, there is always a never ending list of things to accomplish. People often don't realize just how much goes into doing this and doing it well. Being a stay at home parent on top of a homemaker, sometimes increases the pressure to always be in the caregiving mode. I'm not slighting working parents here because they have their own guilts and responsibilities that are present as well. But the issue here is not that you don't have the time, but that you don't have the right mindset. Whether that comes from feeling the need to always be ON, maybe even doubly so because society often looks at stay at home dads in a more judging way, though they shouldn't, or whether it comes from a place of really not even liking excercise, the result is still the same. You have decided that exercise is not for you. The reason you will hear opposition to this is because so many of us have discovered that time is rarely the issue and it is more about a mindset that becomes the barrier.

Six months ago, I hated exercising with a passion. But I found someone inspirational with many more obstacles than me and I decided to just go for it. There have been days when I've done a 20 minute workout video at 11pm at night because I just made up my mind that I will do it regardless of my schedule and I will not go to bed until I've accomplished it. Over time I became better at thinking about myself and how to fit it in a better time when I'm not so exhausted. The truth is, you can make it happen. You can involve your kids, do it early, do it late, plan your week so it fits in, or while the laundry is going. But people with heavy schedules make it happen all the time too.

Now if you don't want to exercise, nobody is making you. But of that's the case, the excuses are invalid.

Some people really are content with "skinny fat" and like the look. I wish there was another term. That term is derogatory and I'm trying to be positive about people liking different looks. I was that way at one point. It was actually my preferred look. I didn't know that's what it was called, thankfully. If this was you, I wouldn't care at all about your resistance to exercise. Sure it is a healthy thing to do but we are talking about losing weight and how it looks. The bottom line is you dont have to do it to successfully lose weight. The reason I'm speaking up here though is because it sounds like you do have a specific image in mind and you are all about fine tuning it to fit that image. That is only going to happen by adding specific exercise goals. And yes, my dear bad *kitten* homemaker, you can find the time for it.

As for upping the calories, I did that this summer. I gained 3lbs and leveled out and then dropped those 3lbs. My goal was maintenance. (I actually had a slight surplus for awhile for weight training but it didn't stay on).

Only you can determine your calorie intake, and you already have. Congratulations on taking ownership. There is no scientific evidence for starvation mode except for men under 6% BF and women under 12% so as long as you feel great keep going as you are. Each body is different, the estimates are just estimates.

The bottom line if you are not losing as a trend then you need to eat less. But once you get leaner like you have you have to "taper up" your calories compared to when you were leaner because your body does not have as many fat reserves anymore. Your weight loss will be slower, you must be even more patient then before. I have found 100 calorie increments in either direction until you find your happy place works. ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE. Be wary of others telling you to eat more or less. You own your body, you decide, listen to your body and treat it well. You will know. The proof is in the pudding.