Gym stalker

I'm assuming you're only reading the last few posts on this string. You might want to read from the beginning before responding further.

In all due respect, for all we know you HAVE NO EXPERIENCE EITHER. This is the internet. You could be exaggerating and/or making up your claim of 'expertise'. For all we know you're a really ****ty defense trainer.

Fair enough. Which is why I said "everyone will need to find their own path on this one."

If you truly believe that your personal safety and well-being are contingent on "informing" an employee of a business, who's only vested interest is protecting that business, I wish you the very best of luck.

Confrontation is not always the best option. In public, with many witnesses, maybe.

Like, for example, a gym?

But if she were on a dark street with no one else around, would you really advise her to go right up to him and ask; WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM BRA???? Really?

Aside from arguing a hypothetical with a hypothetical, the short answer to your question is "no." However, the answer needs further quantification.

If someone is making you feel uncomfortable with an initial act or action, you can establish a legal precedent in your favor by informing them of same. It's clear. It's concise.

As I teach in my classes, DO NOT run around screaming at people and punching them in face, because they make you "sad." That would be a crime. Both here, and in Canada.

With regard to your question, I further discourage anyone from ever approaching anyone shouting, "What's your problem, bra." Ever. For any reason. Mostly, because the sentence itself is asinine.

I agree with perfectingpat in that she should alert those in management. At the very least if a confrontation was to break out, at least management would know why.

Ok. Then what?

To everyone else who's been saying management can't do anything - sucks to be American.

That's the crux of your argument? It sucks to be American?

If a customer harasses another customer in the store I work at, management HAS and WILL throw the harasser out.

That's the crux of your expertise? You work in a store?

Let's take everything you've stated above as an absolute truism for purposes of illustration...

- Management has been informed.
- Management believes your account, finds you credible and for some unknown reason, removes the person in question from the store property.

Now what?

They're not going to accept his coupons any longer?

They'll revoke his Frequent Shopper Card?

They'll take him off the Super Savings Sunday Mailing List?

That'll show 'em.

I understand that you're trying to help women be more assertive, but I believe in hedging ones bets and always, always, always being careful. Careful is making store owners aware that there's a problem.

Sure. Although, maybe I'm secretly an FBI agent? Or a martial arts expert who trains people in self defense? Who knows, really. It's the internet.

And what's the pay off? The pay off is the customers get to shop in comfort with no creepy dudes to freak them out. That's the pay off.

As to this situation, I highly doubt management would throw this guy out just for creeping out the OP. However, at least there's a paper trail. Paper trails are everything.

I understand that you're trying to help women be more assertive, but I believe in hedging ones bets and always, always, always being careful. Careful is making store owners aware that there's a problem.

Telling management is worthless (I don't mean that statement to be rude... I'm stating a fact from years of experience).

And I'm not even getting into the "Defend yourself VS Have evidence after you're already attacked" argument here.

You're twisting my words out of context in a feeble attempt to make it look like I'm "anti-woman." I'm going to report you to management.

You said not to report it to management.

You said it's the same as a child in school tattling to the teacher.

You said reporting it to management if victim's mentality.

I shouldn't have added the word "women" though.

I think the above is dangerous advice. I've taken self-defense. Not sure why you say I know nothing about this.

Try googling "what to do if you feel stalked". Almost all of the advice includes notifying as many people as possible: friends, family members, bosses, management, and police if necessary. Some advice includes keeping a "stalking log" of the incidents. I think that's what Pen means by "paper trail". Not very many of the sites I see recommend a woman "knocking her stalker the eff out". Be assertive. Tell the guy he's making you uncomfortable. Avoid eye contact. TELL someone.

You then replied telling me I was wrong. Numerous times.

Why are you so upset about my opinion?

It is conceivable that after reading all of these posts, some people will think you know more about this than I do, and default to your expansive knowledge on this matter.

I am not seeking help from management, husband or my 2 brothers. I never did, and I don’t think I would unless it’s a very extreme dangerous situation. I don’t need the men in my family to protect me, not from this.

This is really is not a matter of life or death. It’s a very annoying situation, but it’s not a dangerous one. If it was dangerous, yes I would go to the police, but its not. I was asking for ideas on how to make this go away without making a big deal . Perhaps I shouldn’t have used the word “stalker”, because like some people said, he might not even be doing it to make me feel uncomfortable.