"just don't get THAT ripped"....

Tell him to kiss your buff toned *kitten*! My hubby is the same way. He's said stuff like "don't get too buff where you could kick my *kitten*" or before when I reminded him I was getting closer to the weight I was when we got married he replied with "Yea, but it's all in different places now."

Men can be jerks and very unsupportive when you're doing better than them. You just keep at it and make sure you're doing this for yourself.

I don't think it is buyer's remorse. I'm wondering if he just wants you to lose weight but still hold onto some nice curves for him. Some people don't like a lot of muscle showing like in the picture you posted. I, personally, don't like men "that ripped" either. I've requested that my husband not get too obsessive about his working out because I don't want him to look too thin (from too much running only) or too crazy steroid-looking ripped. Just not my style, but it doesn't mean it's bad or ugly.

Anyway, if that had transpired between my husband and I... 1) I'd have smacked him for even finding a photo like that LOL. 2) We'd sit down (or I'd slide this into a comfortable conversation) and talk about it honestly. I'd tell him he really hurt my feelings by calling me fat/overweight/whatever, and there are better ways to tell someone to lose weight. Then I'd move on so he doesn't think I'm harping and ask him why he seems so worried about me becoming "too ripped"? You could also show him some artcles proving that weight lifting doesn't necessarily lead to girls looking like 'the Hulk' LOL. I used to think that too, until my husband told me to do strenth training with light weights for a month or so and if he was right (that I would just get leaner) then I'd see. And he was right!

As you said, you are doing this for you. Tell him to stfu about your fitness because in the long run it is your body. Of course he is your husband and you want him to find you attractive, but he needs to take a moment and realize how hurtful he can be with his words. It's not the same situation at all, but my ex used to call me fat all the time, and then when I started building muscle he told me I look like a lesbian. Now, I also have no problem with lesbians and several of my good friends are, but it was really annoying that he couldn't be pleased. In the end, I dodn't give a rat's *kitten* what he said about my body any more. I knew where I needed to be, and I'm still working on my goal.

Your husband loves you. Let him love you and your fit body.

"we have a great marriage...." :huh:

Doesn't sound like it's too great if he's constantly criticizing your body, your behavior and your choices..[/b][/quote]

Why worry so much about what he says? To do it for you is one thing, to do it for another will not make YOU happy, like now, all he is doing is criticizing. If you truly were doing it for you it wouldn't matter much what his thoughts were, it's your body, not his!:noway:

Yeah, sounds like a great marriage

yea, because having ONE problem constitutes divorce *rolls eyes*.

One problem, if it's big enough, can be.

He's insulting you and controlling you. These are common signs of an abusive relationship. If it hurts your feelings you really need to be honest and have a talk with him.

I agree, a controlling partner is a sign of bigger things to come, nothing to "roll your eyes" about. It's as if you brought up his behavior and are now trying to defend that same behavior by recanting that's he's a great guy and the marriage is all that and a bag of chips..

Perhaps I missed something but I don't recall seeing the poster several quotes up even bringing up divorce, in fact no one has.

I'm sorry you are getting these comments from your husband. I doubt he understands how hurtful they are to you. Have you tried telling him?

Whenever one person in a relationship decides to make a major life change, it causes stress to the other person. Even though you aren't expecting him to do what you're doing, you are changing. When one person changes, the other is forced to as well, albeit in different ways. Most people don't like change, period. They really don't like change that they didn't personally initiate.

This may be as simple as that. He's stressed and has no idea how to talk about it as an adult, so he makes little digs instead.

Try engaging him in an honest discussion of how your changes are impacting him and where he fears it's all headed. You might be able to resolve a lot of issues that way.

Yeah, sounds like a great marriage

yea, because having ONE problem constitutes divorce *rolls eyes*.

But excessive control and body shame aren't a positive... Especially if you're turning to MFP forums, not talking to him o_O

Do whatever make you happy. I believe that in a marriage, compromise is important.... except in this instance. Your body and your health is a place where being selfish is a good morning thing.

My guess is that he wants burlesque, not brawn!!
Next time he goes into idiot mode, do the pec flex and say 'Hulk Smash'! LOL!

Haha, I like this. Being "That ripped" just means that he doesn't want your body fat to go too low, which is a lot of work to do and maintain.

Now I am singing this in my head: "You've got the brawn, I've got the brains.
Let's make lots of money"

Two things seem odd to me. That these are isolated comments. The only time he has commented on your body are these two times? The too fat comment and the too buff comment? Did he never care before how you looked? Also it seems odd you feel like you have to come here for support. I'm not saying that I don't. I very often come here for support. I'm just hoping that if you are really hurt by these comments that you have other people you can talk to about it. Or maybe you just like the anonymous forum here?