is he trying to sabotage me?

My husband does the same, although Im pretty sure he does it with a good heart. I work my butt off with exercise and eating well and I try to encourage him to do the same and then ill get home from and he'll have bought me a packet of Tim Tams. Ive told him time and time again do not buy them. But he thinks having 1 or 2 a night with a cup of tea is not going to do any harm. Or he'll come home with some take away thinking he's doing me a favour so I dont have to cook. He does a lot of physical work and works everything off at work, where as I sit on my *kitten* all day in an office so Ive really got to watch what I eat. He is very encouraging and supportive though and always tells me Im doing a great job and he loves me no matter what.

Mine used to sabotage me too.

I haven't seen someone point this out, but *I* actually used to do this to my fiance when he was more into dieting than I was: he might just enjoy going out with you. No stress/time of cooking, enjoying being/talking with you. Did you guys used to eat out alot together? It really could be that he misses that bonding time with you.

I never even thought about that!! We did go out to eat often. At least once a week and now it's been once a month until the past few weeks when he's wanting to go out all the time. Thanks!!

Hope it helps! What *we* did to balance out that time (since we're both heavily into fitness and health now) is we still go out more than once a month... but we schedule a cheat day together AND we go out to somewhere much healthier (Mongo's where we can check what we're doing, salad bars, Flattop Grill, etc.).

Mine wasn't so severe about it, but I did get on his nerves because all of a sudden the weight loss journey is in his face. That's all I can focus on because I nned to do my workout, Plan my meals, stick to my meals...it's a lot. The other piece is healthy food tastes different so if u change ur cooking then they are affected too. Which if they aren't ready they r going to be ticked off as well. In the end he got on board...but it took time. He has lost 60 pounds since he made the choice and frankly he never nags or complains anymore. He loves how he feels and looks. I never pushed him he just changed when he was ready. Good luck a spouse is one thing then u have to face friends, family, coworkers...they all get snarky at one point...especially when u pass up a cupcake.

Honestly, I think he's just trying to make you feel good. I dont see how him telling you that you dont need to lose any more weight is a BAD thing...

My husband likes me with some squish, but supports me in getting rid of the excess. If he ever suggested going out for dinner as an actual date, instead of out of necessity because we're in town anyway, I may die of shock. It may be that he likes the companionship and just wants to spend time with you.

Playing devils advocate and this is not how I feel about women, It might be he believes that you should do as the master of the house commands or even that a woman needs to be thin and attractive while single but need not stay thin and attractive after she has caught a man but should let herself go and settle for being a wife and mother and just looking how ever she turns out after she slides into married life. I know a lot of men who look at it this way.

Really? Sickening...

First off - you look amazing!! Great job on your progress so far!! Second, I don't think he's trying to sabotage you, I think he might be just a tad insecure. I'd talk to him about it; be honest about how you feel. I know that sounds cliche and all, but you're married - communication is key.

As far as eating out goes, it's just too expensive to do it all the time. My husband and I sat down once and looked at our bank statement for the month and saw how much we were spending on food. It was absurd. Now every weekend we sit down together and make a menu for the week. We pick 5-6 dinners that we want to make that week, get those ingredients and that's what we eat. We save a lot of money that way.
I work out so I can have some extra calories and we've made some adjustments to our meals to make them healthier. Luckily my husband is very much into the Return of the Hot Wife so he's happy to make some changes here and there.

I thought my husband was doing the same thing. It turns out that he just didn't like the new recipes I was making. He liked the pizza, fried food and lack of veggies that was on the "before" menu.

So, I cook for ME, and I cook for HIM. We eat out occasionally and I make sure it is at a restaurant that will work with my food choices. It has been a challenge making 2 different types of meals, but I find that if I plan MY menu, I can prep most of the ingredients on the weekend and it takes less time. When I made lasagna, I snuck veggies into it (hubby says he hates veggies). He said that was the most delicious lasagna I had ever made LOL! When I make mashed potatoes, I now cook a head of cauliflower and mash it up with the potatoes. He thinks those are really good too (but he doesn't know he has eaten a veggie).:laugh:

Maybe over time my hubby will acquire a taste for my menu, but for now I just do what I can for ME. It is still cheaper to make 2 separate types of meals than to eat out.

Good luck!:flowerforyou:

I don't want to use the word jealousy too much but it sounds like he is a bit envious of your weight loss because he isn't getting his own weight loss going. Just keep doing what your doing because its working! If he doesn't want to eat what you cook then tell him to cook his own food, you shouldn't have to derail your health goals because your significant other doesn't want to get on board....