No one is supportive!

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mama4loca
mama4loca Posts: 181
in Health and Weight Loss
My hubby and kids and friends all seem like they don't want me to get healthy...I think they don't like the healthier foods I'm making and I just don't have a clue what's wrong with my husband. He has diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol and continues to eat all the wrong things and refuses to exercise.I know he works hard at work and it's a physically demanding job but it's not exercise He will eventually die from this if he doesn't change..Much of our lives has revolved around food but it's time to change and it seems no one is on board except me. And the harder I try, the more everyone tries to get me to eat!!! My husband has actually brought home cheesecake (2!) when I was doing this last time. Or he will buy a gyros( my favorite but horrible) Maybe everyone misses the things we did that revolved around food but change is good. I don't know, at least I can get some support here :(
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Replies

  • AlexandraLynch
    AlexandraLynch Posts: 161
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    I don' t know what to tell you... I refused to try to diet in a serious "change my life" way until I had my husband on board. As it is, he's still not tracking his calories (I wish he'd get on here) but at least he's not buying me extra food and stuff.

    His mom isn't helping, but I can ignore the chocolate meringue pie in the fridge.
  • mama4loca
    mama4loca Posts: 181
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    Maybe they feel a little jealous?
  • yasminara
    yasminara Posts: 247 Member
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    You can always find support in us, remember that! Also, I think maybe your husband may just be resistant to change as a lot people are. Change is something hard to do...and for some people they take it personally. You kids obviously will follow by example. If it helps, try healthy recipes like chili's or even pastas that you can mask as healthy for you kids and they won't feel like they're being pushed. But keep at it, you can be their inspiration! :D
  • SweetCheekszx0
    SweetCheekszx0 Posts: 478 Member
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    Make the change for yourself.. You will lose weight, you will make progress, & sometimes it's enough to get you going and keep pushing yourself my hubby brings home mc Donald's all the time. Do I wanna ripp his head off yes!!! .. But over the past month I've learned to get over it I'm doing this for me not for him or anyone else. That's all that matters in e end is that I get there and I don't give up❤
  • yasminara
    yasminara Posts: 247 Member
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    Jealousy is a possibility too...it's hard to push yourself into weight loss and feel resentful to someone who is doing it...I used to judge my roommate all the time because she's fit, but the reality was I wasn't happy and jealous
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 904 Member
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    Same problem here--family members bringing stuff I should not eat in the house. I'm avoiding a good deal of it: no chips, no cookies.

    The jury's still out on pizza.
  • Dudagarcia
    Dudagarcia Posts: 849 Member
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    Just continue to lead by example and stay the course :). Cook healthy and when your family asks you what did u make to eat? Tell them "take it or leave it".
  • prayerseeker
    prayerseeker Posts: 38 Member
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    If you can't get your family on board, you have to brush the dust off your feet and do it for yourself...because ultimately..that is who this is all for....Get healthy, stay strong, believe and you CAN achieve!!!
  • SweetCheekszx0
    SweetCheekszx0 Posts: 478 Member
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    Just continue to lead by example and stay the course :). Cook healthy and when your family asks you what did u make to eat? Tell them "take it or leave it".


    I second this I still cook if my bf doesn't like/ want it he can cook something up himself.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    I feel for you. my family just look at me funny, but since I'm an adult and eat what I like, and I'm healthy, they only comment and don't make me eat whatever they are eating... I just take smaller portions or work out more! lol!!! my kids eat healthy... I have to watch it cause I'm older and my body can't eat everything anymore! :)
  • tdloanguy
    tdloanguy Posts: 1
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    My wife feels like it is up to me only, she does not think her being supportive or not should make a difference. Her feeling is that if I want it bad enough i will do it for myself. I agree to an extent but I do feel a supportive wife or family member makes a big differnce on those tough days.
  • mama4loca
    mama4loca Posts: 181
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    Well, thank you so much, you guys! I feel better!!
  • saford10
    saford10 Posts: 24 Member
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    I find that people will not make a change until they are ready or something happens to make them change as sickness, self esteem hits bottom, aches and pains to limit mobility. However you have to do it for yourself and others may get jealous but that jealousy says your doing a great job. No matter what all of us here are happy for you and will support you on this journey. Good luck you will succeed. I just had a couple of bad weeks where I haven't done a thing but today I have had over 14,00 steps and I tried to eat better and tomorrow for me will be even a better day. It is a matter of focus.I know for me I learned the last two weeks that I have done nothing that I feel horrible. I noticed a better feeling when I was working out. Its hard work but the rewards are worth the work. :flowerforyou: Keep up the good work.
  • Nina2503
    Nina2503 Posts: 172 Member
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    Be the change YOU want to be! My OH is tall and quite slim (but has put on a bit of weight but he carries it well and is still slim!) I tend to do the cooking so I make my meals and give him the same, just in bigger portions.I do buy treats for his pack up for work, but I dont pack them I leave that to him.

    He always says I look fine, but I find its not about how he sees me it is how I feel about myself. It sounds selfish but I am losing weight for myself, and I never forget that!

    I cant make my OH join me, so I work on my myself, making good choices, and being steadfast in my resolve!
  • nadinab
    nadinab Posts: 124 Member
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    This is not a very uncommon situation. I would suggest that you stick to your guns and do what is best for you. Try to cook some exciting but healthy meals and dont present them as "healthy" but as new to your family. Sometimes people just think that if something is healthy its tasteless were in fact its quiet the opposite! Healthy has all the yummy taste!
  • LAMypie
    LAMypie Posts: 127 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel. My hubby is on here, but hasn't logged anything in over a week. It was a struggle at first, and I wondered why I was even trying sometimes, if he wasn't going to do it with me. I realized that I was doing this for ME, and it didn't all start to happen until I came to that understanding, and I knew it wouldn't for him either. The kids HATE 90% of what I fix now days, but we've always had the rule, "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit". It takes them 2 hrs to eat dinner, but they eat it. Just stick to your guns, fix healthy stuff, and if your hubby doesn't want it, he can get off his lazy behind and fix something else once the kids are in bed. Once he see's how well you're doing, how smokin hot you're looking, how much more energy you have, and how happy you are with yourself, he'll come around. But he has to do it in his own time. Keep on trucking! You're doing great!
  • TheNewReen
    TheNewReen Posts: 27 Member
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    I've had the same issue with family & friends. sometimes actions speak louder than words. Don't try to convince them. The more you push, the more they will push back.

    When they SEE your change & weight loss and how good you look & feel, some of them will want to get on board. That's how I got my best friend to start changing some of her ways.. once she saw how good I was starting to feel & look. And she was anti healthy ANYTHING. :)

    Keep doing what is best for you! I hope your hubby figures it out soon with all those health issues. Good Luck! <3
  • katie81smith
    katie81smith Posts: 40 Member
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    My children are not super excited about me doing this either. They think that veggies are nasty and they don't like fruit. I have found different ways of getting them to eat it. My daughter HATES mushrooms and any kind of pepper be it yellow, green, red, orange.. it does not matter. She is always wanting to help me cook dinner and do what i'm doing... so I thought.. Why not let her help. I had her in the kitchen with me helping me with dinner which consisted of peppers and mushrooms one night and all of a sudden it was "mom, I like these now" My son on the other hand, I have had to mask a few things.. Grapes are a huge NO NO to him, but I found that if I freeze them first, he will eat them. Its a texture thing to him. now granted he still does not eat the skin of the grape, but at least he is eating it. I have also found that his behavior issues have taken a huge turn for the better. I don't know if this has been studied at all or if i'm just crazy, but its working so i'm going to stick with it. I have only lost 3 pounds in less than 10 days and i'm sooo proud of myself. My husband is for the most part to tired after work so he eats what I put on the table. Thats the other thing I have found helps a lot is everyone sitting down to the table together. I hope this helps some...

    I would like to see you stick with what you are doing. You are loosing weight and more importantly, you are going to change your lifestyle. I'm proud of you for reaching out for help which can be the hardest *most important* step. Nothing worth having is ever easy. Keep your head up. You can do this, and eventually they will all follow suit. As far as him bringing home stuff that you can't eat try your best to not let it effect you. My man last night sat on the couch and ate 4 candy bars and a soda. I sat in the chair and drank my water and I felt better than he looked eating his crap food.
  • jessicalynn75
    jessicalynn75 Posts: 371 Member
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    I understand where you are coming from...I sometimes get snide remarks from "friends" who are also overweight about me being obsessive about my food choices. I am trying to realize that they do that because they are not happy with themselves.

    You have support here. Message me anytime things get rough. We are all in this together.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    Just continue to lead by example and stay the course :). Cook healthy and when your family asks you what did u make to eat? Tell them "take it or leave it".
    Thats what I do. If they want to eat they'll have to eat what I cook and I only cook healthy meals. If they don't like it that's too bad. Believe me they get over it after a few weeks. It was harder to get my husband to stop buying junk food than to get the kids to eat what I cooked. There are still foods I'll make for the kids that I won't touch simply because I don't like them. I won't touch pancakes. Never liked them. My daughter has a friend who will stay with us over the weekend and he won't eat veggies unless there is velveta cheese melted over top. I've never bought that stuff period and am not about to buy it just because he's staying with us. He would complain and I just told him thats just too bad. If you want to stay with us you eat what we eat or don't come over. He at his broccoli without the cheese. Complained about it but I just said again don't like it don't stay over. I put herbs and such on top of veggies but I refuse to put fake processed cheese over healthy steamed veggies just to satisfy him.

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