Dating vs. "going out"

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  • angelicasmommy
    angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
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    Well when I meet someone, I go on a date because I want to get to know them. I don't say "Hey, lets be exclusive and your my boyfriend!" after the first date, so we continue to date. If, after a few dates I decide that I do want to be exclusive with them, then we are boyfriend/girlfriend (which yes, sounds like a childish term but I can't think of a better term for it) I define dating as the period of time from meeting someone, and the point in time where we "define the relationship."

    I would just say, "We've been on a few dates." Once defined, you're "exclusive" or "exclusively dating."

    I hate the terms boyfriend and girlfriend after a certain age, but I agree it's tough to find something better. I don't like "partner," either. I call mine "the boyfriend" to strangers and by name to people who know us. I don't know what else to call him! lol


    I always thought "partner" was used when you are talking about same sex couples. I have seen it before referring to hetero couples and thought it was wierd they used the term "partner"
  • tradaboie
    tradaboie Posts: 132
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    I say I'm either dating someone or "talking" to someone. Dating to me is exclusive...talking is just going out and getting to know someone.
  • NicLiving
    NicLiving Posts: 261 Member
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    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.

    Agreed! I see "dating" as a trial run to being in a relationship ie exclusive, sleepovers, etc.
    I don't have sex with the guys I hang out/go out with...we're just getting to know each other.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    It's all semantics. Like my manfriend and I choose not to use such terms as "Boyfriend" or "Girlfriend". We're lady and man friend.



    He still thinks I'm a lady. Silly boy.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Well when I meet someone, I go on a date because I want to get to know them. I don't say "Hey, lets be exclusive and your my boyfriend!" after the first date, so we continue to date. If, after a few dates I decide that I do want to be exclusive with them, then we are boyfriend/girlfriend (which yes, sounds like a childish term but I can't think of a better term for it) I define dating as the period of time from meeting someone, and the point in time where we "define the relationship."

    I would just say, "We've been on a few dates." Once defined, you're "exclusive" or "exclusively dating."

    I hate the terms boyfriend and girlfriend after a certain age, but I agree it's tough to find something better. I don't like "partner," either. I call mine "the boyfriend" to strangers and by name to people who know us. I don't know what else to call him! lol


    I always thought "partner" was used when you are talking about same sex couples. I have seen it before referring to hetero couples and thought it was wierd they used the term "partner"

    For a long time I only heard it as reference to same-sex, which is why I think I have a problem with it for a hetero relationship. I guess they adopted it because they couldn't get married, so it became synonymous with "husband" or "wife." I don't find it offensive, it just doesn't feel like the right term for my relationship, though I've heard it used for non-married, non-engaged hetero couples (usually living together).
  • EyeLikeTacos
    EyeLikeTacos Posts: 324 Member
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    For me:

    Dating = there is intimacy, I like her (may even think I love her), I am considering her for marriage

    I personally don’t say going out….I say Hanging Out

    Hanging Out = there is interest, I am testing out whether I could date her or keep her in the friend zone.
  • Kellybeth16
    Kellybeth16 Posts: 57
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    This made me dizzy. I'm gonna have to come back with my comment.
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
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    I don't understand why you have to label anything to do with relationships. I don't get it. If we are spending time together then that's all it should matter. If two people like each other enough, they'll want to spend more time together...too simple.
  • angelicasmommy
    angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
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    I think the only time a label is needed is when people ask. For example when a friend asks "So how are things going with you and ________?" and I always say, were dating. I guess to me dating means going on dates, getting to know each other better.
    I also think having a child makes things different. I haven't been in a relationship since my daughter's father, and I think it makes a difference because I don't just meet someone and jump in a committed relationship with them right away because I am more careful about who I bring around her. I think once I reach the point that I trust a guy enough to introduce him to my daughter, THEN we are "together."
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member
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    All those terms are just BS definitions of the games people play who don't want a committed relationship IMHO.
    I don't think "dating" is a term for game-playing. I mean, if you're seeing each other seriously (going on dates) but not engaged or living together, what else do you call it? People in more committed relationships often refer back to "when we were dating."

    I don't know, it's been so long, but I refer to it as before we were married or when we were first seeing each other. At the time I think it went pretty quickly to her being my girlfriend, and that was that. I suppose I am different than most in that I knew right away if a girl was going to be right or not, so I never spent much time in relationships that had unknown future status. I knew pretty early on I was going to marry my wife and be with her forever, and 15 years including 8 years of marraige later I was right ;)
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.

    This is how I see it too. Considering we are from all over the world using this site, slights of words can be tricky. Now that I have a s/o I use the term going out with everyone. I am going out with friends, family or my fiancee.
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
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    I called it "going out" in middle school. As an adult, I call it dating.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
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    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.

    This is me too!
  • sixrings
    sixrings Posts: 96 Member
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    It has been a long time since I've dated but I would think that if I were to ask a girl on what I considered a date I would ask her if she wanted to go out with me on Friday night. Maybe I'd use the word...go on a date with me...but I think I'd more likely say go out with me--meaning I wanted to go on a date with her. I personally consider them the same.
  • kit8806
    kit8806 Posts: 222 Member
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    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.

    I agree with this....
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    All those terms are just BS definitions of the games people play who don't want a committed relationship IMHO.
    I don't think "dating" is a term for game-playing. I mean, if you're seeing each other seriously (going on dates) but not engaged or living together, what else do you call it? People in more committed relationships often refer back to "when we were dating."

    I don't know, it's been so long, but I refer to it as before we were married or when we were first seeing each other. At the time I think it went pretty quickly to her being my girlfriend, and that was that. I suppose I am different than most in that I knew right away if a girl was going to be right or not, so I never spent much time in relationships that had unknown future status. I knew pretty early on I was going to marry my wife and be with her forever, and 15 years including 8 years of marraige later I was right ;)

    I met the boyfriend in January, didn't see him again until April and we were living together by the end of May. I still talk about "when we were dating." lol Because even though it was pretty clear we were serious (our first official "date" was three days in Orlando), we weren't engaged, married or living together. He was the boyfriend, but we were also dating. If that makes sense.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    There are girls I date. These are the girls I care enough to dine, watch a movie with, plan and possible have a relationship with. Those are very rare occurances.

    Then there are girls I'm "seeing". Yeah I just get either a call or a text from them. Oddly enough, these "relationships" lasts a lot longer for me... And these don't end with them wanting to choke me in my sleep
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
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    I always use the term 'exclusive' in conjunction. I can go out with or date any number of girls at any given time. However, if I've found enough mutual interest, then it becomes exclusive. So if the topic ever comes out in regards to any person in particular, the response is, "Oh, we're dating/going out, but not exclusively." Helps alleviate any confusion.
  • serena569
    serena569 Posts: 427 Member
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    I don't care what you call it but can we come up with words to replace boyfriend and girlfriend? I'm far too old for these terms.3 I also dislike friend because I'm more than that, lover because our moms are in their 60s and 70s, siginificant other because...well...just because, and partner because we're straight.

    OK back to your originally scheduled thread.
  • angelicasmommy
    angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
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    All those terms are just BS definitions of the games people play who don't want a committed relationship IMHO.
    I don't think "dating" is a term for game-playing. I mean, if you're seeing each other seriously (going on dates) but not engaged or living together, what else do you call it? People in more committed relationships often refer back to "when we were dating."

    I don't know, it's been so long, but I refer to it as before we were married or when we were first seeing each other. At the time I think it went pretty quickly to her being my girlfriend, and that was that. I suppose I am different than most in that I knew right away if a girl was going to be right or not, so I never spent much time in relationships that had unknown future status. I knew pretty early on I was going to marry my wife and be with her forever, and 15 years including 8 years of marraige later I was right ;)

    Yea but I bet you didn't have kids at that point right? When you are a single mom of a young child, and you meet someone and 2 weeks later you are in a relationship, they are around all the time, and practically live with you...how do you know that person isn't a pedophile, drug addict, criminal? You can live with someone for years and not know important details about them. This is why it takes awhile for me to be "in a relationship" with someone.

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