Dating vs. "going out"

angelicasmommy
angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
in Chit-Chat
I can't be the only one who thinks dating and going out are two different things! I havn't been in a relationship in over 2 years, but I have dated a few guys since then. Family and friends are a little confused when they ask if we are going out yet, and I tell them no, we are just dating. I guess I am picky, I don't jump into a relationship, I want to date to get to know them first. So I get "Dating and going out is the same thing." a lot. So far my sister is the only one who is the same way as me.
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Replies

  • hunter624
    hunter624 Posts: 252
    I don't know I'll have to ask my wife.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    One you put out and the other you don't? :huh:
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.
  • oOMusicBabii
    oOMusicBabii Posts: 494
    I agree that there is a difference between dating and going out.

    Now which is which is where I flipflop on.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.

    Same here.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I called it "going out" in middle school. As an adult, I call it dating.
  • Lizlicious2187
    Lizlicious2187 Posts: 178 Member
    I haven't been in a relationship in about 5 years but I have dated people. For me I consider dating someone the time before you actually have the whole define the relationship talk. I don't really use the phrase going out unless I specifically say, "im going out with so and so tonight". Since I haven't been actual relationship in awhile, it's been a little weird for me trying to figure out if I'm exclusive with someone or not because so many people are different....especially since don't seem to have the balls to bring it up myself :grumble:
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.

    Yep.. this has been how I viewed the two as well.
  • bluebetty32
    bluebetty32 Posts: 1 Member
    I called it "going out" in middle school. As an adult, I call it dating.

    I agree, but it does seem "going out" implies casual friendships as opposed to "dating" would imply a serious intent. Just a thought.....
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member
    All those terms are just BS definitions of the games people play who don't want a committed relationship IMHO.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I called it "going out" in middle school. As an adult, I call it dating.

    I agree, but it does seem "going out" implies casual friendships as opposed to "dating" would imply a serious intent. Just a thought.....

    I can see it in that context. As in, "I'm going out with this guy tonight." But in the context the OP used, it's a childish term.
    All those terms are just BS definitions of the games people play who don't want a committed relationship IMHO.
    I don't think "dating" is a term for game-playing. I mean, if you're seeing each other seriously (going on dates) but not engaged or living together, what else do you call it? People in more committed relationships often refer back to "when we were dating."
  • angelicasmommy
    angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
    I haven't been in a relationship in about 5 years but I have dated people. For me I consider dating someone the time before you actually have the whole define the relationship talk. I don't really use the phrase going out unless I specifically say, "im going out with so and so tonight". Since I haven't been actual relationship in awhile, it's been a little weird for me trying to figure out if I'm exclusive with someone or not because so many people are different....especially since don't seem to have the balls to bring it up myself :grumble:

    This
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
    If you're talking literal definitions of the phrases they are the same to me. Dating, hanging out with, going out, etc all says you're seeing someone with romantic intentions.

    Sounds like to you "going out" means "in a committed relationship". OK. You can call it that but others probably don't know what you mean by that.
  • angelicasmommy
    angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
    Well when I meet someone, I go on a date because I want to get to know them. I don't say "Hey, lets be exclusive and your my boyfriend!" after the first date, so we continue to date. If, after a few dates I decide that I do want to be exclusive with them, then we are boyfriend/girlfriend (which yes, sounds like a childish term but I can't think of a better term for it) I define dating as the period of time from meeting someone, and the point in time where we "define the relationship."
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
    I agree with you but to me they are the same. I'm dating this guy, I've been seeing this guy, I've been going out with this guy - all the same. All implies you are not yet in a committed relationship.

    Once you are, then you're no longer "just" dating or going out or whatever. You're in a relationship and call each other boy/girlfriend.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Well when I meet someone, I go on a date because I want to get to know them. I don't say "Hey, lets be exclusive and your my boyfriend!" after the first date, so we continue to date. If, after a few dates I decide that I do want to be exclusive with them, then we are boyfriend/girlfriend (which yes, sounds like a childish term but I can't think of a better term for it) I define dating as the period of time from meeting someone, and the point in time where we "define the relationship."

    I would just say, "We've been on a few dates." Once defined, you're "exclusive" or "exclusively dating."

    I hate the terms boyfriend and girlfriend after a certain age, but I agree it's tough to find something better. I don't like "partner," either. I call mine "the boyfriend" to strangers and by name to people who know us. I don't know what else to call him! lol
  • eatcleanNtraindirty
    eatcleanNtraindirty Posts: 444 Member
    I agree with you but to me they are the same. I'm dating this guy, I've been seeing this guy, I've been going out with this guy - all the same. All implies you are not yet in a committed relationship.

    Once you are, then you're no longer "just" dating or going out or whatever. You're in a relationship and call each other boy/girlfriend.

    ^^yep
  • pixtotts
    pixtotts Posts: 552 Member
    interestingly i see them as being different but the other way round...
    going out - casual - its what we did at school "will you go out with me?"
    dating - relationship
    confusingness!
    x
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.


    and just where does "gettin' it onnn" fit in?
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.


    and just where does "gettin' it onnn" fit in?

    Hooking up. Duh.
  • angelicasmommy
    angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
    Well when I meet someone, I go on a date because I want to get to know them. I don't say "Hey, lets be exclusive and your my boyfriend!" after the first date, so we continue to date. If, after a few dates I decide that I do want to be exclusive with them, then we are boyfriend/girlfriend (which yes, sounds like a childish term but I can't think of a better term for it) I define dating as the period of time from meeting someone, and the point in time where we "define the relationship."

    I would just say, "We've been on a few dates." Once defined, you're "exclusive" or "exclusively dating."

    I hate the terms boyfriend and girlfriend after a certain age, but I agree it's tough to find something better. I don't like "partner," either. I call mine "the boyfriend" to strangers and by name to people who know us. I don't know what else to call him! lol


    I always thought "partner" was used when you are talking about same sex couples. I have seen it before referring to hetero couples and thought it was wierd they used the term "partner"
  • tradaboie
    tradaboie Posts: 132
    I say I'm either dating someone or "talking" to someone. Dating to me is exclusive...talking is just going out and getting to know someone.
  • NicLiving
    NicLiving Posts: 261 Member
    And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.

    Agreed! I see "dating" as a trial run to being in a relationship ie exclusive, sleepovers, etc.
    I don't have sex with the guys I hang out/go out with...we're just getting to know each other.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    It's all semantics. Like my manfriend and I choose not to use such terms as "Boyfriend" or "Girlfriend". We're lady and man friend.



    He still thinks I'm a lady. Silly boy.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Well when I meet someone, I go on a date because I want to get to know them. I don't say "Hey, lets be exclusive and your my boyfriend!" after the first date, so we continue to date. If, after a few dates I decide that I do want to be exclusive with them, then we are boyfriend/girlfriend (which yes, sounds like a childish term but I can't think of a better term for it) I define dating as the period of time from meeting someone, and the point in time where we "define the relationship."

    I would just say, "We've been on a few dates." Once defined, you're "exclusive" or "exclusively dating."

    I hate the terms boyfriend and girlfriend after a certain age, but I agree it's tough to find something better. I don't like "partner," either. I call mine "the boyfriend" to strangers and by name to people who know us. I don't know what else to call him! lol


    I always thought "partner" was used when you are talking about same sex couples. I have seen it before referring to hetero couples and thought it was wierd they used the term "partner"

    For a long time I only heard it as reference to same-sex, which is why I think I have a problem with it for a hetero relationship. I guess they adopted it because they couldn't get married, so it became synonymous with "husband" or "wife." I don't find it offensive, it just doesn't feel like the right term for my relationship, though I've heard it used for non-married, non-engaged hetero couples (usually living together).
  • EyeLikeTacos
    EyeLikeTacos Posts: 324 Member
    For me:

    Dating = there is intimacy, I like her (may even think I love her), I am considering her for marriage

    I personally don’t say going out….I say Hanging Out

    Hanging Out = there is interest, I am testing out whether I could date her or keep her in the friend zone.
  • Kellybeth16
    Kellybeth16 Posts: 57 Member
    This made me dizzy. I'm gonna have to come back with my comment.
  • SVCat
    SVCat Posts: 1,483 Member
    I don't understand why you have to label anything to do with relationships. I don't get it. If we are spending time together then that's all it should matter. If two people like each other enough, they'll want to spend more time together...too simple.
  • angelicasmommy
    angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
    I think the only time a label is needed is when people ask. For example when a friend asks "So how are things going with you and ________?" and I always say, were dating. I guess to me dating means going on dates, getting to know each other better.
    I also think having a child makes things different. I haven't been in a relationship since my daughter's father, and I think it makes a difference because I don't just meet someone and jump in a committed relationship with them right away because I am more careful about who I bring around her. I think once I reach the point that I trust a guy enough to introduce him to my daughter, THEN we are "together."
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member

    All those terms are just BS definitions of the games people play who don't want a committed relationship IMHO.
    I don't think "dating" is a term for game-playing. I mean, if you're seeing each other seriously (going on dates) but not engaged or living together, what else do you call it? People in more committed relationships often refer back to "when we were dating."

    I don't know, it's been so long, but I refer to it as before we were married or when we were first seeing each other. At the time I think it went pretty quickly to her being my girlfriend, and that was that. I suppose I am different than most in that I knew right away if a girl was going to be right or not, so I never spent much time in relationships that had unknown future status. I knew pretty early on I was going to marry my wife and be with her forever, and 15 years including 8 years of marraige later I was right ;)

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