Its a Secret...

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  • chellie346
    chellie346 Posts: 84 Member
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    my husband supports me in everything I do, there are just some things I don't think he would understand and think was weird. I like to use MFP as a facebook as well. It keeps my focus and thats why i wanted more people on here so I can see what they do and how well they are doing. To encourage and be encouraged. I think what makes me want to keep it a secret the most is that i have failed so many times. The doctors have told me that the reason I can't have a baby is because of my weight. When everyone around me is saying, when are you going to have a baby isn't it time for yall to have a baby, I feel ashamed, because a few of them know about my health issues and if I would just lose the weight, we could have a baby. So anytime I'm around any of them I feel like they are constantly observing what i eat and judging me. They may not be, but in my mind they are. For instance, last night I posted about the cookies and cupcakes at church. I really wanted one, but was going to fight that. If my husband and some of my friends seen that, I feel like they would laugh and be like "that's crazy you should eat one," or "why is it such a big deal"
  • kcmcd
    kcmcd Posts: 239 Member
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    My husband knows I'm working on it, because I need his backup with the kids. He is supportive of course. But I keep my numbers to myself.
  • tippett610
    tippett610 Posts: 67 Member
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    I considered not telling my husband because I knew he would't believe the diet would last. Of course, it might last longer if her were more supportive. He actually does things to try to sabotage me and then says he is just trying to be polite.

    Opening a bag of M&Ms, pouring them in a bowl and placing them on the coffee table in front of me when you know I am dieting is NOT being polite.

    However, I knew I couldn't do this properly and be successful, if I didn't tell him. I am hoping he will become more supportive after I have stayed on program for a while. For now, I just remind him almost daily about my current weightloss so that he knows I am still dieting and that I am having success. I am not doing this for anyone but myself and I am not going to let anyone else interfere with my plans for success.

    Tena

    My husband is the same way...except with miniture reese's peanut butter cups...
  • P90XBowler
    P90XBowler Posts: 152 Member
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    ..to everyone (if you get the reference you ROCK)
  • tlcAK
    tlcAK Posts: 671 Member
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    I just want to giv eyou a big huh! My husband and family members are so supportive of my weightloss journey. Its hard sometimes because my husband can eat whatever he wants and my mom makes very yummy food. But they give me a look or they will do something different just for me. Its so important to have a support group. MFP is life my family too. Everyone is so supportive. I'm very thankful for my friends here.
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
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    OP, i know exactly what you mean. I have a friend on here who is also a real-world close friend. I've noticed since we became friends on here my behaviour for logging has changed. I'm not as truthful with my logging and yet i know the only person i'm cheating is myself and the scales won't lie to me. I'm just so ashamed by my total inability to control myself with food. I did really well up to the beginning of August and then for one reason or another its just been downhill from there and because of this particular friend (who i love dearly) i'm not even admitting it and being held accountable. Like you said, I don't want them to think badly of me or think differently about me.

    Most of the people in my life know i'm trying to change my lifestyle and what i eat, but i keep the exact details to myself.

    And now i just need to get back on track with stick to calorie goals and get away from mindless eating again.

    EDIT: the reason it feels differentis she is already quite slim and looking just to lose about 3 kilos, whereas i'm about half her size again.
  • 3LittleMonkeyMom
    3LittleMonkeyMom Posts: 259
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    I have told my husband and my parents. They and my MFP friends are a great support to me.
    Nobody else knows. Most of my friends don't. This is going to sound silly, but I have a friend who I think would really benefit from this and I really want to have serious results where she asks "What have you done?" so I can say "Look, I have done MFP, and exercise, and it REALLY WORKS!". I want to give her incentive to get healthier. Right now she won't listen to anybody. :( She is where we've all been, very defensive. :( We don't see each other very often, so I'm gonna push it out another month or so. ;)
  • mandersatx
    mandersatx Posts: 86
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    My SO and family know. I'm trying to get everyone involved because we could all honestly use the weightloss and support. That being said, I will not let my SO know how much I weigh until it is substantially less than his weight. My quirk, but it works for me. Seeing my friends and family doing well encourages me to do well, too. I like having a network of people that know me, know my struggles, and want to see my succeed. It also makes it easier to find social things to do when we're all trying to make better decisions about what we put in our bodies.
  • schicksa
    schicksa Posts: 123 Member
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    Part of the success of programs like this and weight watchers is the "group" mentality. Having others know helps build your support group and keep you motivated! Maybe start slow and quiet if you aren't ready to talk to your husband about it yet....tell a really close friend or just participate more on these boards. Then once you see that people are really supportive of you being healthy, maybe you'll feel more confident about it.
  • sicilysclover
    sicilysclover Posts: 173 Member
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    I definitely told my husband because well, we live together and I don't want to hide the fact that I am making big changes. We grocery shop together and eat dinner together every day so I can't hide the fact that my meals are radically different. He is greatly supportive of me though, I can't imagine hiding any aspect of my life from him. When people notice my weight loss and ask me what i'm doing, i'll mention MFP and how much I love it. My cousin and my friend joined b/c they saw my success so far, so it's been a positive experience for me to come out of the MFP closet LOL. I wish you guys had the same support system in your life - but that being said this is for YOU. Do whatever makes you comfortable.
  • Mel2626
    Mel2626 Posts: 342 Member
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    I have found that if you switch your mentality from "being on a diet" to "getting healthier" that a huge weight will be lifted off your shoulders. There should be no shame in trying to get healthy~ losing weight is just an amazing added bonus! Focus more on getting good foods and sources of nutrition in you and exercising to get "the bad stuff" out. Strive to learn more about the foods you eat. I find it kind of fun learning about new foods or trying new things. I think you'll find that so many more people will be supportive of a lifestyle change to live healthier than they'll be of a diet. Diets are meant to be a quick fix. My endocrinologist said something that really resonated with me. He ever so casually mentioned that getting healthier isn't just going to benefit me but also my future child(ren). The better shape you are in and better foods you are eating can only lead to a better start your child will have. My bf is completely supportive but was (and possibly still is) confused about some of the things I do. Instead of telling him "I need to balance my macros for the day", I'll tell him something like "I need a little more protein today but my carbs are right on point." Heck, I even catch him checking labels now!! lol I've even shared some inspirational stories of my MFP friends from time to time. Maybe your DH doesn't need to know every little detail of what you do but I'm sure he'd be 100% supportive of a healthy new you! Anyone else that asks me about losing weight, I just tell them that I use MFP to track everything and that I'm doing it the healthy way~ diet and exercise. Simple as that. Trust me on this, good habits rub off on others.

    Best of luck in your healthy new lifestyle, weight loss and TTC!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
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    The only people who know I do this are my immediate family and my husband. I do not make my food diary public though. I also don't share it with my friends or extended family because I don't want anyone to judge the fact I am logging food. Not a whole lot of people know how much I struggle with cravings and staying on an exercise regimen regularly because I am on the smaller side as it is. I have always been somewhat athletic, so most people don't see any problem with the way I look. But I am making lifestyle changes and it's not just about the way I look, it's about how I feel, how much energy I have, and how dedicated I can be to something. So many people jump to conclusions "Oh, she has an eating disorder because she OBSESSES about what she eats"...which is SOOOOO not the case. It is really upsetting sometimes, so I have just decided that this journey will be more of a private one :)

    I never gave much thought to this before. One time I had a boss who was excessively thin. She was as thin as I was.....well......not thin :blushing: I made a remark to her one time about her always b!tching that her doc wanted her to gain. She replied to me, very open and honest, not nasty about how bad she felt when people made remarks like that because it was such an issue for her, much as my over weight issue was for me.

    I never made that mistake again.

    I would imagine it would be difficult in your case. For you and all the "small" people in this type of scenario........I apologize
  • Tank_Girl
    Tank_Girl Posts: 372 Member
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    My husband is very supportive and my dad is as well, my inlaws dont know because they are judgemental and 2 faced, future sister in law is for all intensive purposes a lazy slut, she uses diet pills and stupid diets to lose weight... Yoyos from fat to thin and wihen shes thin she still jiggles with fat and flab but gets heaps of praise for losing the weight... Cant understand it!

    Im dieting for myself but in a small way im looking forward to seeing the shock on their faces when I unveil my new figure and have no intention of telling them how I did it...
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
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    I tell everybody that'll listen and even a few that wouldnt:drinker: You dont wanna hear it? Then GTFA from me. THIS IS ME NOW........

    I have to do this for me. I may not do it how you'd like, or in the time frame, or with the tools you did or would or might et al......BUT im DOING IT!!!!

    10 years ago I went on a walking kick......seriously. I walked 8 miles a night every single night of the year, thru rain and ice and snow. I lost 100 pounds in roughly 8 months and was maintaining it and loving it. 2 things happened. First....every S-o-B I knew accused me of being anoreix / bulimic and worked hard to convince my husband and mentor that I needed therapy. 2nd....I trashed my knees on black ice and a truck accident and tore the ACL in my right leg after 10 scopes it had to be replaced

    In stepped my fu@king downfall. I was laid up in a hip to toe cast for months. POOOOOOOOOOOOF it happened and I swear it was over night. Anyway.....here I am....needing to lose in excess of 100 lbs...but yeah......50 is already gone.

    Sticking with the original purpose of the thread. I DO NOT NOT NOT want any family or friends HERE at MFP. This place is MINE MINE MINE.....Im not sharing it. I want to be open and honest on my journey with absolute privacy. I dont want to feel embarrassed or disgusted or humiliated or any of the myriad of feelings we've all experienced in our weight loss journeys to new lasting lifestyles. I think my fiance' signed up here just after I did but I have no clue what his name is here nor he mine. AND IT WILL STAY THAT WAY.

    I dont need any excuse or reason to fall. Not yet. Ive experienced them all at some point or another in the last 20 years of trying to lose weight. As my journey here continues I feel myself getting stronger and more determined. I have an inkling I could be OCD about things so I dont need any DIScouragement at the time

    I hope to heaven that ALL of you are successful in this greatest journey on earth.....lifestyle change of weight loss.

    ~~From me and Killer...w/love
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  • got2getmysexyback
    got2getmysexyback Posts: 5
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    My mother inlaw loves to make everyone feel bad.. and now my husband is being trained by a family member and they didn't include me!! So I decided to do it for myself!!! It's on, screw them!!!
  • heytherestephy
    heytherestephy Posts: 356 Member
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    My boyfriend knows about my health/fitness and has even logged for me at times when I've been sick. His family doesn't know about my weightloss, only that I run.
  • Francesca3162
    Francesca3162 Posts: 520 Member
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    My husband and my friends and selected coworkers all know that I track everything, they have noticed my weight loss and they all have made positive comments. Although my husband never said I was overweight or anything-- he does appreicate the new me...
    Maybe not the shopping bills for all the new clothes though!! LOL!!
  • ninainmenasha
    ninainmenasha Posts: 1
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    I have always been active and workout quite a bit. My boyfriend knew that from the start. My username on a dating site was even my favorite-fitness related (tennis). I started a diet or healthier way of living food-wise a few days ago, and we talked about it for months. I could not keep it a secret from him, because he cooks most of our dinners. Luckily, he loves new recipes and eating healthier too - even though he doesn't need to lose weight. Occasionally, he'll make carbs for him and the kids, but I never go hungery since veggies are plenty good for me - along with protein.
    I don't advertise this to others outside family and few friends though. If someone offers foods I don't eat (sugars, simple carbs), I may mention that I'm watching what I eat. That's it. I like the support of a small group.
  • fatmom51
    fatmom51 Posts: 173 Member
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    I kind of like keeping it private, not secret, from the people I see day-to-day because it's "my" thing. I can do it at my own pace, my own way, without anyone commenting, give unsolicited advice, judging when I choose to not be as conscientious, overdoing the praise when things ARE going well, because perversely that sets me up for failure. (If I've done well, despite "cheating," I think I can cheat more frequently; if I've done poorly I may say "screw it" and give up trying especially if I know people are watching to see what I'm doing. Or people might watch and say, "Oh, are you ALLOWED to eat that?"
    Now, when people notice weight loss, or ask, I'll mention that I'm trying to watch what I'm eating, or trying to get a little more exercise, get healthier, get more fit, etc., etc.
    My daughters know that I log food, but they're teenagers, so they're pretty much wrapped up in their own lives.
    Some weeks I'm very focused, but other weeks, I decide (consciously or subconsciously) that I don't mind if it's a "maintenance" week, or low weight-loss week and I'm pretty lax about my eating habits, even while being good about logging. It's one of the reasons I keep my diary closed. (Last night, for example, I wanted some light ice cream and HAD it, even though I was close to my 1,200 for the day, so I went over -- but it just means, worst case scenario, that it may be a 1 lb.-loss week instead of a 2-lbs. loss week)
  • mamabear0222
    mamabear0222 Posts: 455 Member
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    I used to, and I wouldnt add personal friends here either. But recently Ive stepped out of my shell and very few limited people around me know what Im doing .... it's tough but it holds me accountable so I like it now

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