Its a Secret...

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  • kimharper13
    kimharper13 Posts: 33
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    My husband found this website when we were talking about losing weight. So, of course, he knows about it and it is great because we can support each other. Pat each other on the back when we lose weight or workout.
  • JediSwan
    JediSwan Posts: 455 Member
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    I advertise! LOL All my friends, family and co-workers know about my lifestyle change. I've been doing it for a while now and I do not hesitate to help others, suggest things or even push good food on people. I have made a big point at work to ask people to bring in healthy food to celebrate things with and so far, so good at this point. I am on a mission to join family and friends in my health quest! The more you get it out there, the most support you have. And those that dont support me, have found a way out of my life. Its unfortunate but sometimes, that's what happens when you do positive things for yourself. :)
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Never share your dreams with anyone that can not or will not help you achieve them.

    If they aren't actively on your side, they will tend to work against you.
  • joannathechef
    joannathechef Posts: 484 Member
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    It is sad that society (including many right here on this site) have such attitudes about weight that people who struggle to control their food feel ashamed. You suffer from an addiction. So do smokers and many drinkers. Your addiction is even harder to control because you cannot completely abstain from food. You have to learn to handle food responsibly even while continuing to consume it.

    My entire life I was slender. Right up until my mid-40's. I am now close to 50 pounds heavier than I was 10 years ago. Some of it is a result of aging and some of it is a result of the effects my thyroid and my thyroid medication. That doesn't mean I didn't play a role. Of course, I did. I was the one who ate more than needed. However, for someone who has never had to struggle with their weight, they don't understand how hard it really can be. I know I didn't until I lived it.

    I cannot believe your husband would feel any less about you if he understood how much you struggle with food. The real challenge will be for him to understand. I am not sure he really can. However, I know you can be successful.

    As far as keeping MFP secret, my husband knows I am using MFP, but I know he would never come online looking to see what I log. Besides, I have a secure password. :wink:

    Good luck with your weighloss journey.

    Tena

    I can not agree that all the people on this site have a food addiction - you might but many other here do not - I feel you are being a bit sweeping with your judgements
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    I didn't tell my husband for the first little bit. I was embarrassed, mainly about how far I had let myself go. But I shouldn't have worried. He's been my biggest supporter ever since I told him. Even though he never noticed as I was gaining weight, and told me 30 pounds ago he thought I looked great and needed to stop losing soon, he has always been positive about the changes I've made and my desire to be fitter and healthier.
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
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    I read somewhere that if you're serious about losing weight, you shouldn't tell anyone for two reasons: 1) a lot of people will have emotional reactions to it (you're trying to be better than me, what's wrong with the way you are, etc.) and try to sabotage your efforts, and 2) by telling someone you're going to lose weight and people saying "oh good for you!" you already feel rewarded and don't really try. I know both of those things vary a lot from person to person, but I agree with the idea that you shouldn't tell anyone until you're already feeling confident and secure about your weight loss efforts. The last time I started this up, I waited until I was logging every day and had dropped a couple of pounds before I told anyone what I was doing to ensure I'd stick with it, no matter if people praised me or objected to my goals. Now everyone knows, and they're generally supportive.
  • ChapinaGrande
    ChapinaGrande Posts: 289 Member
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    I told my husband. I am uncomfortable keeping secrets from him because I feel that if I have to hide something from him, that means I'm doing something wrong. And if he thinks that staying healthy is wrong, then I married the wrong person for me. Sure, he thinks meeting friends on here is odd and leaving supportive messages to strangers is out of his realm of experience, but he supports me in everything I do. He knows that even if he doesn't completely understand, it's important to me, so he will support me. He is even interested when I tell him random nutrition facts I've learned and encourages my progress even if I know he doesn't really get it. Best. Husband. Ever. I need to tell HIM this more often instead of bragging to invisible strangers, I suppose.
  • tenaheff
    tenaheff Posts: 88
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    OP, i know exactly what you mean. I have a friend on here who is also a real-world close friend. I've noticed since we became friends on here my behaviour for logging has changed. I'm not as truthful with my logging and yet i know the only person i'm cheating is myself and the scales won't lie to me. I'm just so ashamed by my total inability to control myself with food. I did really well up to the beginning of August and then for one reason or another its just been downhill from there and because of this particular friend (who i love dearly) i'm not even admitting it and being held accountable. Like you said, I don't want them to think badly of me or think differently about me.

    Most of the people in my life know i'm trying to change my lifestyle and what i eat, but i keep the exact details to myself.

    And now i just need to get back on track with stick to calorie goals and get away from mindless eating again.

    EDIT: the reason it feels differentis she is already quite slim and looking just to lose about 3 kilos, whereas i'm about half her size again.

    If you don't share your diary, she will never know what you log.
  • RiversideBabe
    RiversideBabe Posts: 75 Member
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    I think my husband knows but I haven't told him directly. One day I was feeling down and he was trying to tell me I was beautiful and I didn't agree and I told him I feel large and not in charge. He was super sweet and non judgmental about it and told me that I should be in charge and I need to figure out how to do that. I know he see's me on here and asked me what it was and I simply told him it was a food diary. I am honestly embarrassed knowing I weigh more than him and don't want him to know that.
    I haven't flat out said to friends or family, I am trying to lose 50 lbs. Only my MFP know my current weight and weight goal and I intend to keep it that way. Mainly I don't want people constantly watching me and judging.
    I am doing this for me and that is why I keep it mostly to myself.
  • tenaheff
    tenaheff Posts: 88
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    I can not agree that all the people on this site have a food addiction - you might but many other here do not - I feel you are being a bit sweeping with your judgements

    I was addressing the OP. I do not have a food addiction, personally. It sounds to me like she does. So, you shouldn't take offense since I wasn't trying to imply you or anyone else, specifically, other than the OP did.

    Sorry for the confusion.
  • rwilley35
    rwilley35 Posts: 25 Member
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    I have told everyone that is close to me and my co-workers. At work we switch off buying lunch and when making choices I want them to know of my food preferences. The exception to this is my latest girlfriend. We've only been dating a few months but she eats healthy and excercises regularly. We eat healthy together so it's not a real change when we're out.
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
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    OP, i know exactly what you mean. I have a friend on here who is also a real-world close friend. I've noticed since we became friends on here my behaviour for logging has changed. I'm not as truthful with my logging and yet i know the only person i'm cheating is myself and the scales won't lie to me. I'm just so ashamed by my total inability to control myself with food. I did really well up to the beginning of August and then for one reason or another its just been downhill from there and because of this particular friend (who i love dearly) i'm not even admitting it and being held accountable. Like you said, I don't want them to think badly of me or think differently about me.

    Most of the people in my life know i'm trying to change my lifestyle and what i eat, but i keep the exact details to myself.

    And now i just need to get back on track with stick to calorie goals and get away from mindless eating again.

    EDIT: the reason it feels differentis she is already quite slim and looking just to lose about 3 kilos, whereas i'm about half her size again.

    If you don't share your diary, she will never know what you log.

    I know. As a result of this thread I've de-friended her here and explained why I've done it. I think what was said a few posts back about this being for me and not sharing it might be true in my case. So hopefully it will help. Ultimately, i can make every excuse, but its my mindset that will change things.
  • chellie346
    chellie346 Posts: 84 Member
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    I can't believe all the responses on this thread! I love all the input. I hope that one day we can all be confident enough in ourselves to be true to who we are and not hide anything. I'm too much of a people pleaser and care about what people think about me.
  • chellie346
    chellie346 Posts: 84 Member
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    Just wanted to say that I have opened up to my husband a little bit about this journey and he told me today that he was impressed by how great i'm doing. Made me smile so big inside!!!
  • oker673
    oker673 Posts: 139 Member
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    I don't like telling people (even family), because then they start to analize everything you eat. I hate being asked "should you be eating that?" especially when I am sure my counts allow for it.

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