Not the place for relationship advice but much needed.

I think it's completely normal that you'd expect for him to stick to what makes you comfortable. My husband has this deal where he doesn't like to be flicked with water. We were washing our hands in the sink and got them completely clean, soap and all, and when I got done I flicked the water off my hands in his face just to be funny. Huge pet peeve of his, he kept going off about how rude it was. I guess in his mind that water is still filthy. Would I like to joke around and flick him with water, specially now that I know it'll create a funny reaction, yes, but I won't because I know it really bugs him. Seriously, you'd have thought I flicked **** in his face based on his reaction. :grumble:

Anyways, yours is more about respect. I think it was good that you were able to tell him how important it was. I think giving it a break, or some time apart would be good because then he can figure out how important it is, since he obviously didn't get that before. If he is too immature to control himself, then I'm sure you can find someone else who is.

Horrible place for relationship advice.. But I'll give it a go anyway.

Kick him to the curb.

He's obviously disrespectful. Now, I like a nice slap now and then. But that's a personal thing (and I've been with my fiance for 4 years). You've already said MANY times that you DO NOT like it. And explained why. Yet he still did it again.

Also, if HE thinks he's a loser (has nothing to offer you, doesn't think he deserves you, etc) then he's probably a loser. If he is in the mindset of being inferior, and hasn't changed anything yet, then he probably won't.

That's all I've got to say about that. </gump>

^^^
This

First of all he says that he's afraid to cheat on me based on the fact that he think he doesn't deserve me. He's insecure because he says he has nothing to offer me and he doesn't know what he wants or where we're going.

Not sure if thats meant to mean he's afraind HE'LL cheat on you or that you'll cheat on him cause he's insecure. If he's afraid he's gonna cheat on him, alarm bells ring straight away he's gotta go.

But this is where it gets to the deal-breaker once he spanked my butt and I punched him and he said never to punch him again and I told him fine if he never touched my butt again. To that he said that if I ever punch him or slap him in his face again its going to be over. I said fine as long as he didn't associate with my butt. He ended up doing it again and I brought it to his attention and I had to explain to him how I don't like it and where my parents are from its truly a disrespect to women and it claims them to be property.

After this time he definatly needs to go, he doesnt respect you or your feelings. He did it once and you said you didnt like it, fair enough...he then should NOT do it again...He needs to grow up and realise when a woman doenst want something done to tehm, you DONT do it.

I've just read another post saying that 'a man is a man and grabbing your booty is a part of a man' this is Rubbish. A man is respectful of his girlfriends/partners/wifes wishes. He doenst just do as he pleases.

Its got nothing to do with you needing to be comfortable with your body. Even if you are uncomfortable with it he should still respect that and not grab your *kitten*.

Why do I have visions of the Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones shows in my head right now?

In the United States, the definition of sexual assault varies widely between the individual states. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network defines sexual assault as "unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling."[4]
The National Center for Victims of Crime states:[5]
“ Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_assault

" Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent."

Sorry to rain on your parade but if she did NOT consent to it - which obviously by punching someone in the face that says to me quite CLEARLY that she did not then it IS sexual assault. Just because she wasn't raped does not make it OK. Just because someone else's sexual assault was not as bad as yours does not make it any less sexual assault..many women and men have been assaulted in this way and downplaying it just makes it worse for everyone..

In the United States, the definition of sexual assault varies widely between the individual states. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network defines sexual assault as "unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling."[4]
The National Center for Victims of Crime states:[5]
“ Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_assault

" Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent."

Sorry to rain on your parade but if she did NOT consent to it - which obviously by punching someone in the face that says to me quite CLEARLY that she did not then it IS sexual assault. Just because she wasn't raped does not make it OK. Just because someone else's sexual assault was not as bad as yours does not make it any less sexual assault..many women and men have been assaulted in this way and downplaying it just makes it worse for everyone..

^THIS! Thank you.

You think you'll be in a relationship with a man and never think he's going to touch your butt? Really? I get the part of not wanting him to do it in public but that hardly justifies you punching him. Both of you seem to have issues.

^^^^^^This!!!!!

In the United States, the definition of sexual assault varies widely between the individual states. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network defines sexual assault as "unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling."[4]
The National Center for Victims of Crime states:[5]
“ Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_assault

" Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent."

Sorry to rain on your parade but if she did NOT consent to it - which obviously by punching someone in the face that says to me quite CLEARLY that she did not then it IS sexual assault. Just because she wasn't raped does not make it OK. Just because someone else's sexual assault was not as bad as yours does not make it any less sexual assault..many women and men have been assaulted in this way and downplaying it just makes it worse for everyone..

Very true....

I unfortunately got into a relationship with a manipulative guy that was similar. Except he didn't grab my butt. He grabbed my breasts-BOTH-in public. He once had the gall to yank off my towel when I had just gotten out of the shower in front of our 15 year old male neighbor! (When I went in the shower, the neighbor wasn't there, nor did I know he was planning to visit.) He was polite enough (the 15yr old) to cover his face when that now *kitten* of an ex-boyfriend did it to me.

You've told him repeatedly. Stand good on your threats. Break up with him. If you want to give him a chance later, that's your business. But right now, I really think you should let him go. Don't let him get away with it. Don't let him walk all over you. If you do, in the long run, he'll just keep doing it more often.

Being touched in a sexual manner against your will IS sexual assault. It doesn't matter if you are dating the person. The first time, he didn't know she didn't like it. But the next couple times, he knew she did not want to be touched like that.

Anyway, dump him. He doesn't respect you and it sounds like you don't like him much.

Exactly. Do this in the workplace, whether it's wanted or not and see what happens. No means no. Simple as that.

That aside, I agree with everyone here who said that punching him was not the best response to the initial touching and that you both have some maturing to do (no offense, but you are only 20). He probably finds it amusing after that, to see how you react, whether it's right or wrong. But if he continues to do it after being told not to, that should be a sign that you shouldn't be with him.

Now, I get the fact that with your parents' cultural background, it is disrespectful (I think that's something many people are overlooking here and should probably take some sociology courses to understand why that's important). He should be respectful of your cultural heritage, and more importantly your requests to not be touched in certain manners.

Time to get rid of him and move on. Make this a lesson learned.

Should he continue to do it? No.

Should you have punched him the first time? No.

Both of you probably aren't ready for a relationship, both seem to have problems and growing up to do first.

Lose him, I guess.

On a side note, you both sound like super fun people

- edit - I'm just saying, maybe you both should lighten up a bit. He obviously doesn't respect you. So dump him. But maybe reevaluate what you're looking for in a guy, because this one seems way off the mark.

this

It's not up to anyone else to determine what you are comfortable with, what is okay as far as touching, or what you consider disrespectful. If you don't like it, you don't like it.

I agree with many other responses here that there are multiple problems going on here. Grabbing you after you asked him to stop is not acceptable, but neither is punching him. Just from what you wrote, which is all any of us have to go on, it sounds like both of you would do better apart from each other and work on some emotional development before pursuing another relationship.

Also on to your point that slapping a girl's butt is disrespectful to women, the only way it would be disrespectful to women is if you were going around slapping random strangers butts. I think you need to liberate your self a little sexually and open your horizons if these are your views of the world.

She doesn't like it. She doesn't have to lighten up. It's not a ridiculous request in her eyes. It's something that she believes and she shouldn't have to "liberate herself". This is what's wrong with society right now. That we all need to "lighten up". If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.

No, what's wrong with society is that people take offense with EVERYTHING. Especially in the U.S., it is not as serious here in Canada and much better in Europe.

In Europe if you see a girl and say, hi beautiful, she'll smile back and wave. In the U.S. if you see a girl and say, hi beautiful "omg sexual harassment".

I travel to europe and U.S., and am originally from Canada. So I know how it is in different regions of the world. And I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but the op is, and you are probably as well.

I SLAP *kitten* when I'm excited. Let me know when you dump him....he sounds like my kinda feller! :drinker: