9 16 oz Beers
Options
Replies
-
**VENTING**
Woke up the other morning and there were 9 (that I could count with out moving things around) beer cans on the top of the garbage. WTF??? I don't even know if there was more, I guess there could have been.
Back story.... Husband works weird and long hours sometimes (16 hour days)- he says a couple of beers helps him relax when he gets home late and helps him sleep. I'm not a big drinker so I take his word for it. But FFS- 9, 16 ounce beers by yourself on a Saturday night? (No work- its the weekend)
This has been a hot topic of conversation before- he seems to go in spurts. Lots of drinking for awhile then slows it down. It drives me freaking crazy. He's never been a hard alcohol drinker- thank goodness because he turns in to a complete jerk. But I discovered he had finished an entire fifth of Fireball by himself over the course of 2 weeks (thats with the beer drinking too). I felt like a parent monitoring the level of liquor in the cabinet.
He grew up with people having a drink or two every night- it's not weird to him. I grew up with alcohol being served on holidays and special occasions. He thinks I'm weird. I enjoy a glass of wine or a beer here and there- but never to that extent by myself.
Looking for other perspectives here? Major concern- am I just being a bishy wife? Over concerned? If you've got questions let me know I'm happy to answer. I'm curious what other people think.
This used to be my every night....now when you start finding naked midgets, then you have a problem.0 -
I'm not trying to get mfp to diagnose my husband as an alcoholic, this is an extremely varied cross section of the population, I grew up in a bubble. I needed/wanted other peoples opinion so I could better assess where my own feelings are.
I do appreciate everyone's responses thus far, no matter how varied they might be.0 -
He might be hiding it because he knows your not ok with it and does not want to hear the lecture. I am a pretty regular drinker~ not an alcoholic but have drank I guess for enough years that 9 beers is nothing. If it changes his personality and if is effecting your marriage...maybe there is an issue. If he just likes to drink on the weekend and obviously the only reason you knew he was drinking them is you found the cans...then it must have not changed his personality too much...I wouldn't worry about it and maybe just accept that you like different things?0
-
This used to be my every night....now when you start finding naked midgets, then you have a problem.
Uh oh! lol, I'll keep my eye out!0 -
I'm surprised by some of the responses to this question. Drinking alone and using alcohol to "help" with sleep are two big red flags. I think the original poster is right to be concerned. The question is not if the OPs husband is an alcoholic, it's more about whether there is a pattern of problematic drinking.
We can rationalize excessive drinking all we want, but nine drinks is a lot. Unless the consumption occurred over a period of a whole day, it's probably binge drinking.
One pattern I see on this thread is that "I do it," or "so-and-so-that-I-know does it, so we don't see this behavior as abnormal." Binge drinking is VERY common, and it leads to a wide variety of health problems and other consequences. Keep in mind that according to the CDC, "most people who binge drink are not alcohol dependent or alcoholics."
Bottom line: We don't need to have a label for your significant other for there to be an alcohol problem. if you're concerned about his drinking, then you have a family problem. Frankly, I would be surprised if there aren't other warning signs that you didn't share with us here as these problems don't just pop up overnight.
There are a lot of community and online resources to help with these sorts of problems.0 -
I'm surprised by some of the responses to this question. Drinking alone and using alcohol to "help" with sleep are two big red flags. I think the original poster is right to be concerned. The question is not if the OPs husband is an alcoholic, it's more about whether there is a pattern of problematic drinking.
We can rationalize excessive drinking all we want, but nine drinks is a lot. Unless the consumption occurred over a period of a whole day, it's probably binge drinking.
One pattern I see on this thread is that "I do it," or "so-and-so-that-I-know does it, so we don't see this behavior as abnormal." Binge drinking is VERY common, and it leads to a wide variety of health problems and other consequences. Keep in mind that according to the CDC, "most people who binge drink are not alcohol dependent or alcoholics."
Bottom line: We don't need to have a label for your significant other for there to be an alcohol problem. if you're concerned about his drinking, then you have a family problem. Frankly, I would be surprised if there aren't other warning signs that you didn't share with us here as these problems don't just pop up overnight.
There are a lot of community and online resources to help with these sorts of problems.
Thank you very much with this response. I, too, was rather bothered by all the comments that 9 beers are nothing, really? Would you put a child in the car with you and drive after 9 beers.
Lets also keep in mind that these are 9 SIXTEEN ounce beers, not 12 ounce beers.
Anyone that feels they have to continuously have more than 2 drinks a night to relax, may want to consider what in the world is in your life that is so freaking stressful that you are poisoning your liver to deal with it.
Like I said before, I am an alcoholic, I know the signs as well as the lies we tell ourselves to justify our drinking the way we do.
And please spare me the I drink a bottle of wine a night and I do not have a problem speech. I really do not care, but if this post really gets under your skin and feel the need to defend your drinking, that is something you may want to think about. And btw, people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not have a problem giving it up. :happy:0 -
You know what??? It doesn't matter if anyone else has a problem with his drinking...if YOU have a problem with how much he is drinking...there is a problem. What you have described is a binge drinker...still an alcholic. You pretty much described my ex. He could blow through an 18 pk in one day on a weekend and then need to get more. Week nights after work to "unwind" that would start on thursdays he'd buy a 12 pk and most would be gone by morning. He too turned in to a "jerk" after the 6pk threshold. There is no comprimising with an alcholic. I also can tell you that if he doesn't see eye to eye with you on this it is only going to get worse.
Lesasass seems to have the best advice here. How you react to what he does is what you need to learn to address....you cannot "monitor" behavior in to him. It is up to you how long or how much you can tolerate.0 -
... never mind ... :drinker:0
-
Lol. 9 beers on your weekend? I'm a chick and yesterday for football day, I put down a 12 pack by myself. Now, it was over the course of 6 or so hours, but when I party, I can drink a fifth of liquor (READ: in the same night, let alone over two weeks). Leave the man alone and let him have some drinks.
Ok, I can see where that could seem weird by the way I worded it. Party and social drinking is nothing I have any concern over! But sitting with your wife and two kids watching a movie is another. then continuing to drink by yourself after everyone has gone to bed.
Most of the men in my parents family do this, so to me, it doesn't seem odd at all.
ETA: I also have a few beers at my house by myself watching a movie or something. It's relaxing and gives me time to myself. Maybe it's just his way of having his own time.
^^ I agree. After a long day at work (which happens a lot...) I like to come home and unwind a little by having a few beers or a few glasses of wine. I also downed quite a few cold ones for this past football Sunday (Damn Steelers... but that's another story....) As long as he doesn't down the 9 beers then hop in the mini van for a tour around town I wouldn't consider it a huge problem. If he grew up around a family who incorporated alcohol then it's what he's used to. I can understand how being a person where alcohol is only brought around for special occasions may think it odd, but I don't think there is a serious problem. Perhaps if he starts doing this everyday and it interferes with work, your family, or his health- then it'd be a problem.0 -
Lol. 9 beers on your weekend? I'm a chick and yesterday for football day, I put down a 12 pack by myself. Now, it was over the course of 6 or so hours, but when I party, I can drink a fifth of liquor (READ: in the same night, let alone over two weeks). Leave the man alone and let him have some drinks.
Ok, I can see where that could seem weird by the way I worded it. Party and social drinking is nothing I have any concern over! But sitting with your wife and two kids watching a movie is another. then continuing to drink by yourself after everyone has gone to bed.
Most of the men in my parents family do this, so to me, it doesn't seem odd at all.
ETA: I also have a few beers at my house by myself watching a movie or something. It's relaxing and gives me time to myself. Maybe it's just his way of having his own time.
^^ I agree. After a long day at work (which happens a lot...) I like to come home and unwind a little by having a few beers or a few glasses of wine. I also downed quite a few cold ones for this past football Sunday (Damn Steelers... but that's another story....) As long as he doesn't down the 9 beers then hop in the mini van for a tour around town I wouldn't consider it a huge problem. If he grew up around a family who incorporated alcohol then it's what he's used to. I can understand how being a person where alcohol is only brought around for special occasions may think it odd, but I don't think there is a serious problem. Perhaps if he starts doing this everyday and it interferes with work, your family, or his health- then it'd be a problem.
^^^ I agree, damn Steelers. Still drinking.0 -
I don't find it personally to be an issue. We have 9 beers on tap at home and you'd be surprised how little we drink, actually.
But if you find it to be an issue, then you should say something.0 -
And btw, people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not have a problem giving it up
LOL, it is simple. If someone says "oh I do not have a problem with alcohol, then it is suggested that they go 30 days with out it and they freak out or can not do it, there IS a problem"
People that alcohol is no big deal to or do not have a problem with it, not drinking it is easy.
FYI, just because a certain person was raised in a family that consumed alcohol does not make them not have a problem with it. ALSO, a couple of beers or a glass of wine is not a problem, 144 ounces of beer, well yeah, that is not normal.
Drinking several beers with friends while watching the game is not an issue either.
Come on people, this woman is stating that this is a problem for her family, why is it so important to discredit her concern? If it is to justify your own alcohol use, keep it to yourself if no one has expressed it is a problem. This woman does see it as a problem and has a couple of kids. She has every right in the world to be concerned.0 -
A drink or two a night is not a big deal. Nine 16 oz beers in a night is a binge and a problem, especially if it happens fairly regularly.
I think if you are that bothered by it, unless you're a teetotaler, there is probably a problem. I recommend Al-Anon for you.0 -
And btw, people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not have a problem giving it up
LOL, it is simple. If someone says "oh I do not have a problem with alcohol, then it is suggested that they go 30 days with out it and they freak out or can not do it, there IS a problem"
People that alcohol is no big deal to or do not have a problem with it, not drinking it is easy.
This is the dumbest test for a "problem with alcohol" that I've ever heard. How can you not see how irrational that is?
I love beer. I RARELY have more than 3 in a single sitting, but have 1 to 2 4 or 5 times a week. Say my partner state's that too much. The consensus is that my behavior is healthy. My partner says "well if you don't have a problem, why don't you quit for 30 days?"
I love beer, don't consume irresponsibly, and don't want to stop drinking for 30 days just to satisfy some arbitrary test. By your logic, I have an alcohol problem.
Comply or your an alcoholic.
HOLY CRAP!! YOU SPEAK IN SOMETHING BEYOND GIFS!0 -
This is the dumbest test for a "problem with alcohol" that I've ever heard. How can you not see how irrational that is?
I love beer. I RARELY have more than 3 in a single sitting, but have 1 to 2 4 or 5 times a week. Say my partner states that consumption rate is too much...
The consensus (per this thread and SCIENCE) is that my behavior is healthy. My partner says "well I think this is too much. if you don't have a problem, why don't you quit for 30 days?"
I love beer, don't consume irresponsibly, and don't want to stop drinking for 30 days just to satisfy some arbitrary test. By your logic, I have an alcohol problem.
Comply or your an alcoholic.
There is a difference between "I don't want to" and "I can't."
Alcoholism is somewhat about how much one consumes, but that is not the only factor involved. Someone can drink once a year and be an alcoholic. So in a way, you're right about the test. But your logic is also a bit flawed.
There's a lot of gray area. But I think for the most part, if the person closest to you in your life thinks there's a problem, there probably is.0 -
Yeah who cares 9 beers in a night isn't the end of the world... If he starts doing this every night maybe you should have an issue.0
-
I don't care if he has a beer or two or three for that matter. I'm not trying to say drinking is bad. Like I said I enjoy a few too. It's the knocking so many back your getting buzzed and drunk by yourself, that's the part I'm struggling with.
He also sees no problem in doing this when he is home alone with the kids.
I plan on talking to him about it, I just wanted to get other opinions so I don't go into it so narrow minded. I have my thoughts on it, but I'm not about trying to make a big deal out of something that for the most part is normal for some. It's just not what is normal for me.
(no chance it's the neighbors, definitely all his)
Thanks you guys!
I agree with you that there is cause for concern, particularly because he "supervises" the children in this state. Even if he were capable of keeping an eye on them while inebriated, what would he do if there was some sort of emergency? I'd hate to think of him getting in a car.
His drinking is interfering with his ability to carry out normal daily activities if he's drunk while responsible for the children. As a parent, you have a responsibility to ensure your childrens' safety. How you go about that is up to you, but if you can't trust him to be sober while watching them, he can't be entrusted with their care.
Sorry you are in this situation.
0 -
Apparently I have an issue because a few times a year I'll stay up after everyone has gone to sleep and have a couple. It's usually becasue it's Saturday night, I don't want to go to bed at 9:30, and I want to either catch the late college football game from the West Coast or the Wild are playing out west...0
-
Okay, I am ROFLMAO at all the people freaking out over my post.
And btw, no where have I said if you can not stop drinking you are an alcoholic, I stated that if you say you do not have a problem, then it is not a problem to quit,. People that do not have a problem with alcohol, do not make an issue out of it.
No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Come guys, its really simple, if you do not have problem with alcohol, then it is not a problem. The fact that some of you are so freaked out to defend yourself, claim you do not have a problem and fight for your right to drink, well, that is an issue that you need to deal with, no one else.
Now I am going to go strap on my shoes and go for a run and treat this body that has lost 40 lbs and 15% body fat after I stopped drinking well.0 -
This thread quickly degenerated into people justifying their own alcohol use instead of answering the OPs question. It's not up to me or anyone on here to call out people as alcoholics. The original question, for those who care to address it, involves a fairly massive dose of alcohol consumed by a person who is caring for children.
No one who is truly interested in providing a helpful answer would discount what the OP wrote.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 401 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 990 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions