The calories don't count if....
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If you burn the wrapper, no one sees you eating it and you brush your teeth after......0
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It's your birthday!0
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if you eat it AFTER you have a salad...they canx each other out.... sum total = 00
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...I can eat it in the car before I get back to work.
...no one saw it.
...I pretend it never happened.0 -
If I plan to exercise an extra 10 mins tomorrow...0
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It doesnt count when I "have" to eat the rest of my kids' food. They're full but I can't just throw the food away! Its usually just a spoonful or two or three0
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Cookie crumbs left over at the end of the box (I mean, technically I've already logged the cookies as eaten - it's accounted for!)0
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Simple MATH
If you break/cut it in half, it halves the calories, right? So just keep halving until it is a bunch of crumbs (this can also be accomplished by chewing a minimum of 32 times! Which SHOULD put you into the negative calorie realm with all of the facial muscles involved...) and then when you are down to .00000009 calories...simply round to the nearest tenth. VOILA...zero calorie cookies/cakes/pies/WHATEVER!!!!
If my son "Sheldon" was here, I'd pester him to put the equation down for y'all. But he isn't. So I hope my overly simplistic explanation is sufficient. ("Jesus is OK with it, but don't tell Dad.")0 -
When I am stressed0
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when you go home to visit family and/or when Mom cooks!0
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you eat it with something healthy.
When they reach the stomach, the carrot says "it's cool man, he's with me"0 -
LMAO... It definitely doesn't count if it was off of someone else's plate and was "just a couple of bites". Definitely.0
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It is during a Packer game!0
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its simple it does count on a sunday. sundays a day of rest. its in the bible so it cant be wrong0
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If you just licked the tip.
Wait. What?0 -
...you eat anything within 24 hours of having sex.
(Been trying to sell my wife on that one for years.)0 -
It doesn't count if you pray over it! After all God's blessed it so the calories are gone.0
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If I burned calories I didn't log that day...like sex or a short walk. Or going to the playground with my kid. It totally evens out.0
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you're sick. It's getting to be that time of the year again so today I am sitting on my couch inhaling chips. Which also are fine if you happen to have two servings instead of one. I mean they're all broken so who really knows?!0
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...you drink a gallon of water after you've eaten. Water cancels everything out!0
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