People who tell you to stop losing weight...

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  • mmimmi1
    mmimmi1 Posts: 49 Member
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    That's a good one!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    I get this a lot as well and I haven't figured out a "snappy" response yet (and I'm gifted in that arena, lol). But seriously, I normally say thank you (offering both a smile and a nod) cuz in all honestly when I hear: "You don't need to lose any more weight" my mind translates it to mean: "You look good. Congrats on your losses."
    Edited by nikegyrl79 on Tue 09/11/12 08:19 AM

    True! They are saying I look good, but that really isn't what it is about for me. I want to be as healthy as I can. But, I can start thinking of it as a compliment...thanks!


    Why does anyone need a snappy response or a nasty come back? We do we have to be the rude ones? Why make it an issue at all.

    Smile, not and thank them. A snappy come back or a rude comment will only make you feel like crap later. We are better than that. Just because we look and feel better does not give us the right to be hurtful to someone else, when in all actuality, they are not trying to be hurtful at all.

    We do not have to get even with every single person who hurts or offends us. We can let the universe sort out who is doing it out of jealousy or spite and let it take care of it. I know, from personal experience, karma really is a biotch. :)
  • marinemomx2
    marinemomx2 Posts: 143 Member
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    All the time! I am just under 5'2 and I have lost 62 lbs and that is all I ever hear. I tell them I have a goal which I am not far from but that I would also be happy staying where I am at and that seems to shut them up.
  • mmimmi1
    mmimmi1 Posts: 49 Member
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    I usually come back with a "can't stop me now...! I am finally healthy" in a really excited voice, and the shear excitement in my voice usually turns them onto saying yeah you are wish I could do that too. Then I leave with the feeling of having been given a huge comment and mood boost.

    ^^^^That's a good one!
  • sunshinelady512
    sunshinelady512 Posts: 29 Member
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    Listen to your doctor, NOT your "friends" or co-workers! If you doctor tells you that you've lost too much weight, then it's time to listen. Otherwise, I would just tell them that it's none of their business! Honestly, it seems to me that people saying that to you is almost as rude as where they to walk up to you before you lost the weight and tell you (unsolicited) that you need to lose weight. Some people just like sticking their nose into other people's business!
  • Lisseth03
    Lisseth03 Posts: 518 Member
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    People tell me that a lot...and I just say I still want to loose more body fat and tone up more ... and leave it at that.

    THIS.
  • RoxRae
    RoxRae Posts: 60
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    I really hate it when someone says that to me. To me that is as bad as saying, "you should really go on a diet".

    Just smile and nod.
  • robinso5
    robinso5 Posts: 310 Member
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    Well Tell them "Why should I listen to you now, when you were no where around to tell me to stop GAINING weight"
  • BenChase
    BenChase Posts: 169
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    i personally have a bit of fun with it, people have finally stopped asking because of my many smart@ss comebacks, but a fairly nice one to say is "my (doctor/nutritionist/personal trainer/whoever you want to use here) says the complete opposite of what you say, but since we are on the subject what is YOUR professional opinion of where my weight and body fat percent should be for my height? :bigsmile:
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    Urg I hate when people try to tell me when I should be happy with myself. As long as I'm healthy, why does it matter? My mother in law came over not long ago and seen me and said "I never thought I would ever have to say this to you but, will you promise me to not lose anymore weight? You are melting away and if you lose anymore you will look sick." I'm 5'3, I started at 250lbs I'm currently 134lbs, I'm in the ideal weight for me, but I want to get to 120, which is still in the idea weight for me, its in the middle of the ideal weight range for me. High end would be 140, low end would be 107. I told her "I'll quit losing when I am happy with where I'm at." she argued with me and got mad at me, so I just told her "I'll think about it." but in my head I know where I want to be.
  • Love_flowers
    Love_flowers Posts: 365 Member
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    You should only stop once YOU want to.

    Because remember: 1. You are doing this first and foremost for yourself.
    2. So therefore only stop when you wish to. :flowerforyou:

    We should not always act upon such comments because:

    1. Most of the time they just say it because they feel they need to be kind.

    A ridicilous example: an obese girl used to go to my class. She told the class and our tutor that BMI says she is obese. My tutor said: noooo noo, you arent. Its just your muscle that weighs much.

    When clearly this was not the case because she was very overweight and she always eating so much chocholate and fatty foods every day. So my tutor tried to be "kind" but it was ridicilous if you ask me. Almosy sarcastic :/
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    i personally have a bit of fun with it, people have finally stopped asking because of my many smart@ss comebacks, but a fairly nice one to say is "my (doctor/nutritionist/personal trainer/whoever you want to use here) says the complete opposite of what you say, but since we are on the subject what is YOUR professional opinion of where my weight and body fat percent should be for my height? :bigsmile:

    I wish that would work for me, my MIL is a nurse and she uses that one every chance she gets.
  • penrh44
    penrh44 Posts: 4 Member
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    I have lost a lot of weight and I have discovered that people seem to be comfortable with me being the fat girl. I think sometimes people just have a hard time accepting your success because of their own insecurities and that is their problem. I have realized I am not the fat ugly girl to make my friends feel better about themselves and I am no longer anyone's door mat. I still talk to those old frineds but I now know that I will not let them keep me down so they can lift themselves up.

    Well said!!! When people start to make those sorts of comments it is definitely fuelled out of thier own insecurities and PLEASE don't listen to them. You aren't losing weight for them, you are doing it for you and your health.

    If you change the words they use to what they are actually saying it will sound more like: "hey, your not as fat as you were and your less likely to die now, which is great so why don't you stop as any more and you will make me look really bad and to be honest I'm starting to see you as a bit of a threat..." It's actually quite funny, just politely smile (giggle inside) and say thank you but you have your own goals in mind which you are sticking to. End of discussion!
  • geo1437
    geo1437 Posts: 38
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    I just had this exact conversation with an MFP friend. And what I told her was this...they are just used to seeing us fat, and any change at all is going to make us look better/healthier. The problem is by them saying you, me or anyone doesn't need to lose anymore weight, they are (willingly or not) feeding us complacency, and giving us the green light to settle for mediocrity. I don't want to be complacent, and I certainly don't want to be just mediocore. I am not like that in any other aspect of my life, and now that I have made to the decision to improve my health, and start living healthier life style, I am not going just settle for what others think is ok. Being ok is not good enough, not for me anyway. So when someone says something like that to me i simply smile and tell them that there is ALWAYS room for improvement, and that when I reach my personal goals I will stop losing weight and start maintaining it. And i might throw in " if you think i look good now wait til you see me down another 25 -30lbs...i'm gonna be one sexy beast" for good measure
  • FitFlipRunner
    FitFlipRunner Posts: 66 Member
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    I get that all the time too from my wife, my family, friends, and coworkers. I am a short guy (5'5'') and at my heaviest I was 180 lbs. I am now at 138 give or take a pound. Don't listen to anyone, but you and your doctor. Yes they don't mean to be mean. Don't say anything rude back at them. I believe in karma. You reap what you sow. A good mind ,body, and soul is what everyone should strive for. At least with your body you are ahead of others. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
  • NWCountryGal
    NWCountryGal Posts: 1,992 Member
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    None of us can let others decide what we should or shouldn't do. We have to make our own decisions. I had people tell me for years I was not to fat and I was. I am small-boned and the so-called people that love me were saying I was just fine. So I let that cloud my own, good judgement.

    I think your goals are not only realistic they are healthy for your height. I hope you are concentrating on muscle building as well which I just started recently. It slowed my weightloss down but wow, the changes I feel and actually see are awesome! I had some photos taken while I was kayaking this weekend and I could see the muscles in my arms and legs.

    Anyway, to heck with people. They aren't in your shoes. If you were looking anorexic I'd say listen to them but you don't and like I said, your goals seem just right for you:) denise:drinker: :drinker:
    I have had more than a few people ask when I am going to stop my weight loss, implying that I should not try to keep going. Started off at ~275 lbs, lost 50 lbs on OPTIFAST and have since lost 15 more. My personal goal is to get down to about 190 lbs. However, some of my co-workers and friends say that is too much and I should stop now. I am only 5'11", so am just now "overweight" on the BMI scale.

    Anyone else have this issue? What do you say or how do you respond? Should I just "smile and nod"?
  • Alpina483
    Alpina483 Posts: 246 Member
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    in all honestly when I hear: "You don't need to lose any more weight" my mind translates it to mean: "You look good. Congrats on your losses."

    I really like that approach. Why get angry? If everyone's minding their business, there's no communication ))) It's a good thing they notice, anyway, whatever the reaction. So thanks is in order.
  • brookjodie
    brookjodie Posts: 55 Member
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    OMG! That is so funny, I will look at it that way from now on too. Thanks. :)
  • Impy84
    Impy84 Posts: 430
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    I started at 201 5ft 2in. Currently I weigh 155. My mother has been mentioning recently that I should stop where i'm at. I'm not comfortable at this weight and still feel FAT as fork. The bmi still has me listed as overweight.
    I've simply told her i'll stop when i'm happy and her opinion is unwanted and disagreed with.
    I'm doing this for me and i don't give to cold snail tails what anyone else thinks about how I look.

    So cliff notes. DO YOU. If you want to keep going for another 15lbs then so be it.
  • Illona88
    Illona88 Posts: 903 Member
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    My mom does this. She tells me I shouldn't be losing weight, even though I am still well overweight (188 pounds at 5'10").
    She keeps telling me to eat and tries to feed me cookies and french fries.

    I just smile (sometimes slightly sarcastically) and keep dieting. When she cooks something unhealthy for dinner, I just adjust the rest of my day by eating more veggies at lunch, exercising and eating slightly less.
    I just keep telling myself that I am only living with my parents temporarily and I will be out in no time (I'm looking for work after I graduated a couple of months ago, without my student loan coming in I can't afford a place of my own).

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