Does it bother you that NOBODY NOTICES!
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Dear OP,
First of all, I'm sorry you are feeling unnoticed when you want to be noticed. :-(
It might sound surprising, but many people believe a coworker's appearance/shape/weight is not appropriate to comment on. After all, sudden weight loss can result from serious illness, imagine how insensitive it would be for someone to congratulate weight loss in that context.
Here is yet another perspective: for people recovering from eating disorders; compliments about weight loss are a double-edged sword. They arouse complex, ambivalent feelings. Because the more someone gushes about how FABULOUS you look and what a HUGE DIFFERENCE your weight loss makes, the more it implies this person found your previous appearance objectionable.
Unless you are equally comfortable with people noticing and commenting on a weight GAIN, I don't recommend that you expect or encourage people outside of your intimate circle to "weigh-in" on your personal weight loss journey.0 -
The only time it bothered me was when I complimented my sister in law on her weight loss. She had lost loads and made out she didn't do it by exercise or diet it just happened naturally.
I know that was a lie because six months before that she had bought a bicycle and was riding to an exercise class and was trying to get me to go too. She had to have changed her eating and she always drank gallons of regular coca cola so she must have cut back on that.
So I lavished praise on her. She never said a word about my weight loss!
It wasn't the same as hers and I'm 10 years older than her but I am pleased so far.
I've gone down from a size 20 to a size 14 on top and from a size 16 to a size 12 in my shorts and jeans.
As I say that was the only time. I'm losing weight for myself and to be healthy for my family.
My fitness Pals don't judge and are always encouraging as are my immediate family and work colleagues.
You are doing really well, we will notice here :bigsmile:0 -
I have found that the people who see me every day take longer to notice any change. It's the ones who I see only occasionally that will usually notice and comment.0
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it sucks,but do you notice?that's all that matters
This is so true. And it's also true that I'm tall, so 25 pounds on me is much less than 25 pounds on someone who is shorter. It's only 13% of my body weight (that's not a sarcastic comment).
And it is also true that people are polite and awkward talking about weight - or even if someone looks good or not. (This is not true of my band - who talks about everything and definitely weight.)
But I'm not fishing for compliments here. There are all these people here on MFP who have lost amazing amounts of weight that I am so impressed by. I am really happy to have lost this weight. I have never tried to lose weight before - quite an amazing thing for a 53 year old woman. But having lost it, it is also clear to me that I can - and should - drop another 15 pounds and get back to where I was when I graduated from college.
Onward!0 -
Don't be sorry. I think that is a very natural expectation. I still feel that way too sometimes, even though have lost only 20. I especially expect people whom I haven't seen in a while to notice it. I'm just grateful to be "barely overweight", instead of where I was before at 191.:happy: Only one person in my very sensitive, aware, group of 24 classical singers mentioned it.0
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nobody said a thing to me till I hit 30# = ) after that everyone under the sun will want you to tell them how you did it then, they will not listen to a word you say because they want you to tell them where to get the magic pill that will do everything for them over night
This.
No one noticed on me until I hit about 30 lbs and 3 dress sizes down either.0 -
It was only really when I went to wearing my 'medium' fit t-shirts that a couple of friends were like "oh, wow!".
I've got a big frame so a medium fit t-shirt is pretty snug around my chest etc (I'm male I should point out) so avoided wearing them when I had a gut.
I always carried my weight quite well before and while I considered myself pretty fat (and the 3st of mostly fat I've lost agrees), I'm still told "I never considered you fat before", which kinda pleased me anyway.0 -
. But not everyone feels it's appropriate to compliment someone on a weight loss. It can be taken the wrong way by some people. "You've lost a lot of weight" can be heard as "You used to be really fat."
this.
I've actually had the uncomfortable moment, of seeing someone i hadn't seen a while, who is now markedly slimmer, and remarking, "Wow, you've lost weight, you look great!" and the person, who had been happy to see me til i said THAT, is now looking at me with obvious annoyment in her eyes. I wanted to crawl under the rug,:blushing: and that has left me a lil hesitant to ever mention weight-loss again. I have no idea why the pal almost glared at me for mentioning it, (was the person with her supposed to be unaware she'd lost weight?) no idea.
or, maybe saying "wow, you've lost weight, you look great" sounds like
"wow, you've lost weight AND NOW you look great, but you didn't used to look great"??
no idea.... maybe that is bad combo,(?)--"you've lost weight, you look great"??
but, my intent was good....but yeah, some ppl hear "you've lost weight" differently than others.
Me, i can't wait til i ever hear those words, but, maybe not everyone IS wanting to discuss their weight changes..(?).
AT ANY RATE, CONGRATS!!! BET YOU DO LOOK GREAT!! I know you FEEL better!!!:drinker: Treat yourself to a new outfit, and maybe even let those around you know, that you ARE a person who IS willing to discuss her transformation, by announcing, "Wow, looking forward to tonight, i've decided to celebrate i lost that 25th pound, by buying myself a new outfit as my reward!" or something....?
then they will know it IS okay for them to mention it.
?????0 -
I think when people see you every day it isn't as noticeable, at least until you start wearing different clothes. I've had coworkers tell me I had "lost a ton of weight!" when I hadn't lost a pound. No one has noticed anything so far this time though I've lost 13 pounds, 5 inches of my hips, 5 off my waist and 4 off my bust! My husband had said I 'felt smaller' when he hugs me but it wasn't until he went out of town for a week with work and came back that he said, "wow, I really see it now, good job!"0
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LOL, I live in a town where I know NO ONE. I lost almost 50 lbs and just returned from a trip to see family, it was nice that someone finally noticed! best of luck to you0
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I've lost the same amount in 4 months and people just keep saying they like my new haircut!!! Thing is, imy hair's the same as it has been for the last nine months0
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I have a bad history of dieting, so I'm losing weight through healthy lifestyle choices. It took me a year to lose 30 lbs. I dropped from a size 16 to a size 10. had lost about 35 lbs. before anyone noticed - over 1/3 of my body weight. Then they all thought I had lost it in the last week or so. I have no explanation for you. Even when you're doing it *right* and for all 'the right reasons, it would be nice if someone noticed.0
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I cornered my husband today, and insisted to know if he sees a difference. He says he does, so I'll be happy with that :-) Then he asked me why it was important if people could see I had lost, and told me that he never commented on things like that at work (he's a teacher and works with a lot of women). He refuses to comment because he never knows what is going on with the person, it can be everything from weightloss they have worked really hard on by way of miscarriages to bad reactions to medicine or agressive treatments.
I am horribly not tactful, so I'd have blurted it out if I noticed a colleague losing a lot of weight. He is however very considerate and polite, so I think I'll go with his strategy. and just not mention it. Which also means I shouldn't get annoyed that others aren't commenting.0 -
I only lost around 13 pounds and went from the high end of bmi for normal to the middle range for normal and people noticed. However, I haven't really noticed it on myself. It was weird to me that a few people made comments that I look thinner even though I didn't really notice it on myself. For the few people who said it, many others said nothing. People probably just feel uncomfortable commenting on such things in the first place. I'd imagine a weight loss going from overweight to middle range like you probably did would be noticeable and people just feel uncomfortable saying it.0
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My own mother hasn't noticed that I've lost 25 lbs and actually said to me the other day that if I start walking, I would probably find that I would lose some weight! I didn't bother telling her that, no I won't be going out walking but I will go out and do a 5-mile run instead! I am 10 lbs from my original goal weight and might increase it by another 5-10 lbs so it's not like 25 lbs is a small percentage of weight loss!
So, not only has not ONE person other than my husband commented on my weight loss but even my mother hasn't noticed.0 -
it sucks,but do you notice?that's all that matters
^^^This^^^0 -
I hear you!! Im so frustrated that no one can tell that I have lost 46lbs!! I guess its cause I was so overweight and that I am still in the same clothes (though now alot baggier!).
Very Frustrating0 -
First off, awesome job on the weight loss! That is a lot of work and it should be noticed and congratulated! I think people are uncomfortable talking about weight at work. If they mention you look great now, does it mean you didn't before? Only a handful of people have mentioned my weight loss and it perplexes me as well, especially after not seeing anyone over the summer. My solution for you? Post your pics and let us see the difference! You got a whole heck of a lot of people here who would appreciate your success and congratulate you on it.
^^^ Perfectly put^^^^ You are doing a great job! I know its frustrating when you feel like you are wokring so hard and no one else seems to acknowledge it but we are here to support you!0 -
Who did you lose the weight for??? Yourself or some people that you know? It sounds like the people that love you noticed. But the most important notice must come from you. You can be proud of what you have accomplished so far or you can focus on what other people think0
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hello I am a newbie. I have a question. I want to lose 20lbs and I am working hard at it with diet and exercise. I workout for 30 minutes and vigorously ride my bicycle for 3.5 miles a day. Anyhoo, the fitness diet is perplexing because it is so strict on sugar that it restricts eating fruits and vegetables and instead enourages bread and protein. I am going over on sugar just by eating wholesome fruits. I only eat half my calories and am way way under all the rest of the parts the diet.
What types of foods is this diet asking you to eat? How come it is so against fruit?0 -
Hello, I think your post was in the middle of another topic but I wanted to respond. I don't think MFP requires any particular way of dieting. You choose what type, Low calorie, low carb, low fat etc. This is for tracking & it will set your macros for you are you can adjust them to suit your plan. While fruit is full of good things it is full of sugar & most of us don't do well eating more than a small amt each day. I do low carb so only eat an ocassional apple or a few berries. But I get my nutrition from low carb veggies. It is a matter of personal choice & how your ody responds. I hope you do well on you journey.0
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I feel for you. I've lost 10 lbs. since I started MFP and I had already lost 6lbs. before joining. I know that is only 16 lbs. but it would be nice to have someone notice. It's o.k. if they don't, but it would be a confidence builder.0
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Maybe they've noticed but are too afraid to say anything.0
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I'm sorry, I'm pouting. I lost 25 pounds this summer. I've lost 4" on my waist, 3 on my hips, and 2" on my bust. My clothes fit completely differently. My face looks thinner. My husband and my father and my mother all tell me I look great. I am now mid-range BMI for my height. I haven't been this weight for 20 years.
AND NOT ONE OF MY FRIENDS FROM WORK OR IN THE BAND I PLAY WITH HAS SAID A WORD! Okay, I don't need super congratulation. Yeah, you're not supposed to make personal comments about each other at work. But I didn't see them all summer and we've now been together 2 weeks and you'd think SOMEONE would notice!
Sorry. I'll stop venting. I know I'm not the center of the universe. But AGH!
Sounds like you're just fishing for compliments. I say AGH! to that.
I say it sounds like you are being a little rude because someone says they are upset about something. I can understand where they are coming from. When you work hard for something, the people closest to you should be aware and notice the changes!0 -
Losing weight is about getting into better shape and overall health not looking for praise. Maybe THAT'S why they don't say anything, they know you relish the attention0
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I agree with the idea of buying yourself a new outfit to highlight your new bod... sometimes even though clothes fit differently people don't see that...
and... it can also be a challenging thing to bring up... people might not feel comfortable saying 'have you lost weight?'... but, one could easily say 'there is something different about you... what is it'0 -
I wanted to respond as well... I am a high raw vegan almost everything I eat is fruit or vegetable... you can determine what kind of food plan to follow by changing your goal settings.0
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It only bugged me when my Boyfriends sister didn't say anything about it but strangers on the street have congrats'd me. I don't expect her to just praise me or anything but I acknowledge her accomplishments (Big and small) and she has never really once said anything positive or encouraging or congratulatory towards me. Oh well.
I don't think it's fishing for compliments or selfish to want people to notice you've done something positive to change your life.0 -
My husband and my father and my mother all tell me I look great.
sounds like a lot more people noticed than "nobody"0 -
I wish I was in your position. I *HATE* it when people comment about it to me. "You've lost weight!" Really??!! Like I hadn't noticed it for myself?!! And then the "So how much have you lost then?" comments follow. Folks, it's none of your damn business. None of you would dare to ask me "So how much did you gain then?" when I was gaining, but suddenly it's OK to comment about my weight because I lost some? It's not OK. Aside from in here, and in another weight-loss group I was in, I haven't made a single post about my weight loss ANYWHERE on the internet, nor do I initiate any conversations about it in person. It's no-one's business but my own.
I figure that your family/friends etc either ran into someone like me previously (who eventually snapped and told them to, well, let's say "go away")... or they're the kind of people who see things like I do, that it's flat-out rude to comment on someone's weight, unless *they* initiate the conversation.0
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