Does it bother you that NOBODY NOTICES!

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  • beaches222
    beaches222 Posts: 437 Member
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    Well first all CONGRATS! I will say I would care less what they thought. WHen I first joined my fitness pal I had coworkers and friends not giving me support at all. I got more my support from strangers on this site which is sad. Now that I have lost almost 14 pounds I wanna say LOOK AT NOW! lol
  • calamity71
    calamity71 Posts: 207 Member
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    When you live with a child or baby, you don't notice the day to day changes. Someone who hasn't seen the baby for two weeks will say, Wow he/she is getting big! I think it is the same when you are losing weight and people don't know you are dieting. I think there is a hesitation to ask to in fear of offending someone who hasn't said, I am on a diet.

    I remember the first time I lost all my weight. I went from a 16 to a size 12 or smaller before people suddenly questioned...."have you lost weight?" Well duh was my feeling! hahaha
  • daughterofthesea
    daughterofthesea Posts: 82 Member
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    I totally understand how you feel!!!! Nobody seems to notice if I put on weight or lose weight, makes me wonder why I bother.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
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    I'm sorry, I'm pouting. I lost 25 pounds this summer. I've lost 4" on my waist, 3 on my hips, and 2" on my bust. My clothes fit completely differently. My face looks thinner. My husband and my father and my mother all tell me I look great. I am now mid-range BMI for my height. I haven't been this weight for 20 years.

    AND NOT ONE OF MY FRIENDS FROM WORK OR IN THE BAND I PLAY WITH HAS SAID A WORD! Okay, I don't need super congratulation. Yeah, you're not supposed to make personal comments about each other at work. But I didn't see them all summer and we've now been together 2 weeks and you'd think SOMEONE would notice!

    Sorry. I'll stop venting. I know I'm not the center of the universe. But AGH!

    Sounds like you're just fishing for compliments. I say AGH! to that.

    That's rather rude of you. shame on you !!!...Sounds like she's just down that not one her friends noticed and feeling kinda blue about it. After all it's nice to be rewarded for hard work, and people noticing is a reward in this case..
  • RikanSoulja
    RikanSoulja Posts: 463 Member
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    What bothers me is people who lose weight for "themselves" and then expect everyone to congratulate them and give them compliments. You did it for you right not for everyone else.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Strangley the more weight I lost I started getting constant comments on my hair. People would say, "did you get your hair cut," or "did you change your hair?" I would come back with, "no, I changed my face, I've lost some weight!" I think most people are a little afriad to bring up weight loss for a multitude of reasons...one being, what if they just realize you look different, asked if you lost weight, but it turns out you had gained weight and they were mistaken. Anyhow, I find that I get the most comments when the seasons change. People really noticed how much smaller I was when I started wearing a lot of cute shorts and fitted tops and skirts this summer. That said, the last time people saw me wearing pants and jeans I was wearing a size 10 and am now buying 4's and 6's. So once I start wearing those this fall people will probably start commenting again. Hang in there, you're hard work will be noticed!
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
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    Losing weight is about getting into better shape and overall health not looking for praise. Maybe THAT'S why they don't say anything, they know you relish the attention

    And your rude too....

    People come on quit being so freaking rude to others.
  • Rosa1213
    Rosa1213 Posts: 456 Member
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    Some people just don't notice. It happens. The people close to you who care about you notice it, and most importantly: YOU notice it.

    Also: they might not want to bring it up because to say to someone: "You look like you've lost weight. You look great!" can imply: "You were fat and unattractive before." And they just want to avoid that. Also, if they don't know that you're actively trying to lose weight, they fear offending you in the event that you've been ill or had a family member pass away, or any other stressful thing that might cause you to stop eating.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
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    Heaven help me with the rude people today, what did no one say something nice to you so you feel the need to be rude and nasty to others? At least 3 people who posted so far need to go back to bed and get up on the right side this time.

    It boggles my mind how rude and uncaring people can be.
  • now_or_never12
    now_or_never12 Posts: 849 Member
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    What bothers me is people who lose weight for "themselves" and then expect everyone to congratulate them and give them compliments. You did it for you right not for everyone else.

    I kinda agree with this.

    If you are losing weight for you why expect and get upset when no one else notices? Sure, it's great to have people notice and give compliments but personally it's not something I would spend the time getting upset over.

    Take pride in what you have done so far.... don't be upset if no one compliments you.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    I wish I was in your position. I *HATE* it when people comment about it to me. "You've lost weight!" Really??!! Like I hadn't noticed it for myself?!! And then the "So how much have you lost then?" comments follow. Folks, it's none of your damn business. None of you would dare to ask me "So how much did you gain then?" when I was gaining, but suddenly it's OK to comment about my weight because I lost some? It's not OK. Aside from in here, and in another weight-loss group I was in, I haven't made a single post about my weight loss ANYWHERE on the internet, nor do I initiate any conversations about it in person. It's no-one's business but my own.

    I figure that your family/friends etc either ran into someone like me previously (who eventually snapped and told them to, well, let's say "go away")... or they're the kind of people who see things like I do, that it's flat-out rude to comment on someone's weight, unless *they* initiate the conversation.


    That is true. The wife of a friend of mine lost 300 pounds at age 30. She had to have surgery because her bones were shattering from her weight. I did not know that she was having problems or was having surgery.

    When I saw her I did not recognize her - not even vaguely. It was only when she said hi and started talking and almost re-introduced herself that I realized who she was. And I never said a word because I thought it was such an obvious change that it was too personal to comment on.
  • keepersmom8
    keepersmom8 Posts: 42
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    My best friend at work told me that she didn't say anything when she first saw me after two months (we're teachers) because she didn't want to embarrass me. She wondered if by saying how good I look now, I would think she was implying I didn't look good before. Stand tall and be proud of your accomplishments. You are doing this for yourself, not for the reaction you get from others.
  • cannonfury2006
    cannonfury2006 Posts: 27 Member
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    Losing weight is about getting into better shape and overall health not looking for praise. Maybe THAT'S why they don't say anything, they know you relish the attention

    And your rude too....

    People come on quit being so freaking rude to others.

    You're, not getting the point. Yes, comments on how well someone looks after weight loss is good/important but even if the person doesn't get comments, they should still be happy with themselves.
  • jadenlore
    jadenlore Posts: 2 Member
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    It's hard to see it on ourselves sometimes since it's so gradual, so it's nice to get some outside validation once in a while. I lost 30 lbs with WW before quitting that and joining here and using MFP, and it took until I lost those 30 lbs before co-workers (who did not know I had changed my eating habits) said anything to me asking if I'd lost weight. Great job on the weight lost so far!
  • jazee11
    jazee11 Posts: 321
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    My SIL has told me that she lost 25lbs and I can't tell. I only know this because she told me. My mom has also lost 20lbs. Again, I only know this because she has told me. People carry their weight differently. Sometimes it's not noticeable to others until they have lost a bit more. Keep doing what you are doing, don't give up just because your co-irkers don't notice. They will in time. You just need to give them time to take note.
  • chocolateandpb
    chocolateandpb Posts: 453 Member
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    I understand how you feel OP! Unlike you though I haven't lost major pounds, but I have lost major body fat and inches. My clothes fit completely differently (no more muffin top!), my face looks much thinner, my collarbone and hip bones are easily visible, and cellulite is almost totally invisible. I'm not lumpy, bumpy and jiggly anymore--I'm small, toned and fit.

    When I see friends I haven't seen in months and they don't say anything about how I've changed, it is a little disappointing. But I know I am so much healthier and happier in my own skin, so I try not to let it discourage me. I know that I was never really "fat" to begin with, just very out of shape, and clothes did a good job of hiding my figure flaws, so I just chalk it up to that and remember that my body can do things now that it couldn't do 6 months.
  • Paullei
    Paullei Posts: 22
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    I had a co-worker who lost 50 lbs before any of us noticed. I didn't even think she was overweight in the first place. It wasn't until after she work form fitting clothes that she mentioned she had lost the 50 lbs. Most people don't see a size, they see a person so they aren't observing the details of our figures they way we are - you know, our own worse critic and all. Know that you have done a great job working towards a healthier lifestyle and the proof in your body is the your reward. People will notice but shouldn't be a driving force. You'd be upset if they mentioned you put on pounds so don't fret them not saying anything about losing weight.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    In truth, it's not that I'm looking for compliments.

    The truth is, sometimes I wonder if I am imagining that I look different and need some validation that it is, in fact, true.
  • essjay76
    essjay76 Posts: 465 Member
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    Everyone has different motivation. Yours is obviously external, and you need people to notice and you need the attention/validation. Nothin' wrong with that.


    I used to not understand that, as I'm totally the opposite. I would just tell you to do things for you, and not worry so much about what people think, because in the end it's *you* that knows you've worked your *kitten* off to lose weight. Be proud of that.

    Yeah, my motivation is internal. I need to be ok with myself, I don't need others to tell me I've done a good job. So I'm probably the wrong person to answer this. LOL. But you keep going on with your bad self... keep on keepin on.
  • tannyasawyer
    tannyasawyer Posts: 106 Member
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    I've had this too. Don't get me wrong - it doesn't really bother me, per se, just thought it was strange that very few had said anything about it.

    Finally last week a girl I work asked me where half of me had gone and if I were dieting. After we got to talking, another girl joined the conversation. She said she had noticed but didn't want to bring it up - the last time she asked if a friend had lost weight, she was told that her friend 'had lost weight because she was seriously ill', needless to say she was totally embarrassed and never gone there since!

    I think people do notice, just don't really know how to bring it up or how to discuss...

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