A tip for parents (and others, I guess)

I have raised teenagers... does that make my opinion as valid as your's? I don't think I've ever disciplined my kids with out asking them any questions.... I at least want to make sure they comprehend what they're getting punished for! Sometimes that is lost in translation. I want to make sure the communication is clear and that requires questions. There is no room for debate on the punishment, but communication is key.

All opinions are valid. I was seriously wanting to know. It's easier to have this discussion with people who have already raised teenagers. I didn't say I always discipline before asking questions, but it has happened. I can take away car keys and send them to their room immediately, then wait to communicate the next morning. That's worked well for us in certain cases. When everyone is upset, it's best to wit to discuss, but an immediate punishment is warranted. Since you e raised teenagers, I'm sure you can think of some situations where you might do this.

I don't want to compare. My kids are dipsh!ts, all three of them. I don't know how they find the door to leave in the morning. I look at them every day and say in my best Buford T Justice voice, "There is no way.... no way.... that you come from my loins."

Oh man there are days I feel like that. They have *no* sense of direction what so ever. Sometimes, they think they're on the other side of the damned town, THAT is how bad they are! My nieces are the same.
Then they do things in just the most nonsensical manner I can imagine. They some time do things the hard way and I just look at them and think "who ARE these people?"

My mantra?
They don't drink, do drugs, bully other kids. They're polite, sweet and well mannered in public... I still have some hairs that aren't grey, and they didn't stab someone like a classmate of mine. yet. The pastor saw me at the grocery store and was talking about how ridiculously well mannered they are at church. Now only if I can get them to do that at home?

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, wouldn't trade them, but common sense seemed to skip a generation in our family. 2 more years.... 2 more years and the last kid is outta the house.

That poor kid, she's on the color guard team (wtf?) and they got their uniforms. I swear, they look like oompa loompas dressed as jesters for halloween. except my daughter is 5'10 and 0lbs. I don't even know what to say. I couldn't even laugh it was that bad. "Mom, you're not even laughing.. is it? is it that...bad?"

Thank God they were so well behaved in public or it would have ended me.

When everyone is upset, it's best to wit to discuss, but an immediate punishment is warranted. Since you e raised teenagers, I'm sure you can think of some situations where you might do this.

Oh, absolutely. Except I don't give them their punishment. I make them sweat that part out. Then the next morning they're super nice and sweet, talky and friendly to their sister hoping for a lighter punishment and then they get their punishment and the gloom and doom is back. Also if I dole out punishment when I'm angry, I go over board and then I have to tweak it and look weak. "For now. You sit in your room" works great.

Please tell me you're talking about Swissmiss (not the hot chocolate, the MFP user!)

Sounds like I would be sending you off to boot camp. No way this attitude would last one minute in my home. :bigsmile: