What is considered 'cheating' (mature relationships)

I will give you the take of a man who loved his wife with all his heart only to lose her to death giving birth to our daughter. Hate on what I say, disagree, whatever....

First let me say i have walked the flesh mile. In my early twenties (Im 35 now) I dang near slept with a diff woman every night and had 3sums, 4 sums, etc. But I was single. Once you enter marriage that is sacred and special. You decide to become one. You get in eachothers way so to speak. And because of this, any type of attachment or act that pulls you from your marriage is cheatiing. If your talking filthy to someone on MFP thats cheating. Thats taking away from the bond with your spouse. If you sleep with someone else thats cheating. Anythign that interfeers with your commintment to your marriage is cheating.

Im just a dumb cowboy, thats no joke. But I would even say 3sums in marriage are bad. Its just playing with fire. Why should anyone ever need anyone but their spouse anyway? Whatever kind of vanilla or kink your into, if your truly focused on pleasing your partner, its going to be amazing!

The best thing is to look for why you fell in love with your spouse to begin with and just adore them and find contiment in that.

If you look at anyone and think they are attractive you are cheating. If I ever catch my wife looking in a calvin klein catalog, its divorce time.

I hope you are kidding

I don't know if I agree with you or not because even with your "clarification," your post is nonsensical.

Ok. Here's the deal. A friend of mine asked me what 'we' (the wife and I) thought about threesomes. I didn't know. I thought about it for a bit and brought it up with the wife. She mentioned that some time ago a friend of hers asked her what 'she' thought about threesomes, because she and her husband we're in the market to find a third person (female) to do it with. I was bothered that her thoughts on this were important and mine weren't. Hence the golden rule.

If I was asked this I would just tell them no I don't believe in this and wouldn't mention it to my husband until later. I have opinions/values of my own and for me this falls into that category and I don't ask or even think of him necessarily because no harm is being done. However, if I ever wanted to consider this then definitely he would be the 1st I would talk too.

It can only be defined by each couple. If either partner is uncomfortable with something, it shouldn't happen. I think sexting is total infidelity, but a lot of couples wouldn't care. Making out with anyone besides your partner is wrong in my eyes, but a lot of couples are okay with that. It really just depends on each person's comfort levels. As long as you're both open & communicative & respectful, I think that's the important thing.

Anything that you agree is unacceptable to do with another person while you're in a relationship.

For me it's; kissing, sexually touching, sex...

I say if you're in an open relationship and you have sex with someone else while your partner isn't there, then that's not cheating. You agreed on those terms for the relationship so what's the issue? Even the word cheating implies going behind someone's back, not playing fairly etc etc and if you're in the "rules" of what you both believe then I don't see how it can be cheating.

What do you consider cheating? For me, I have what I call 'the golden rule'. That is, I go where she goes, period. That pretty much rules out swapping / borrowing / lending and includes any expression of sexuality/emotional attachment between people regardless of gender. Maybe that sounds restrictive to some, but not necessarily, if you're creative about avoiding golden rule violations. What do you guys think?

For clarification: the golden rule refers to sexy time practices, not like going to the mall or hanging with friends and whatnot.

No idea what this means! Seriously though- friendship, compassion, loyalty, commitment, attraction, enjoyment and life partner pretty much takes care of all the feelings without needing restrictions or rules. In my mind these are the necessary ingredients for a happy, healthy, long term committed relationship.

it just depends on the couple...like for me i dont care if they look or flirt (which a lot of people have problems with) but once they get touchy feely or phone number swapped is cheating to me. but im a pretty open person it takes a lot for it to bother me or whatever

My hubby's an extreme flirt. and that's it. i sometimes get pissy because i'd like him to flirt with me a bit more, but hey, sometimes i am just the nagging wife :-p
Neither of us would cheat on the other, and definitely noone would bring anyone home (our supreme head of household - aka king shepeherd - wouldn't allow it :laugh: ).
As a friend of mine puts it "You can read the menu (or work up an appetite) wherever you like, but you eat at home." <---- that's metaphor btw.

But in the end, cheating is whatever goes against the (understood) rules of your specific relationship. If your partner needs reminding, or if those rules have to be laid out in the open, chances are the two of you are expecting different things and it is time to reevaluate.

Cheating is what you know will hurt your loved one and break her/his trust in you.

Q: What is considered cheating?

My answer: If I am in a committed relationship like I am currently, we both agree we should only express our interest in each other (attractiveness). We got jealous easily in the past, over small things, and learned to make changes to suit us both. Nobody should have to feel not special during a relationship (in my opinion). If the relationship needs some "spicing up", then talk about it and make it happen! Just aslong as your in agreement about the situation it sounds good to me.

when someone is penetrating or getting penetrated, or else when someone falls in love with someone else.

So it's okay to sneak around giving hand jobs in secret, as long as there's no penetration?

That's hand penetration silly.

Cheating is doing anything you wouldn't want him or her to know about. Period.

If you do something with the opposite sex that you wouldn't want your spouse to see or know about, it's cheating.