Why did you let yourself go?...

A new 9-5 office job + emotional eating + choosing "easy" foods instead of more healthy ones.

To me I look in the mirror and still to this day see someone ugly......so why bother to control my weight it is not like I am looking for a guy. But I was sent to a unit at my job that made me get into shape in order to preform it as expected. I have to accept though i will never be good looking i can be healthy and slim.

I was overweight as a child. When I was about 14 I started slowly starving myself. Once I went to university I was put on anti-depressants that caused me to double my body weight. I dont know if that's "letting myself go" as much as having the meds induce massive weight gain. Over the years I did get a much higher appetite that's for sure though.

Way to go, Cupcake!

My husband was in the army and was deployed to Iraq 3 times. Two of those times I was a "single" mom. When he was deployed it was easier to eat at a fast food restaurant rather then to cook. Then I used the excuse I "didn't" have time to do anything about it.

The whole story:

The gaining part:
quit smoking = gained weight
no energy over time = gained more weight
cause: defective heart valve
collapsed - almost died

The losing part
four months in cardiac rehab
joined a gym to keep good things happening
lost 35 pounds

Getting here part
found out about MFP (at gym BTW)
lost 16 more lbs and made goal.
reset goal down four more lbs and three to go.

I can't really answer it. I'm not sure what made me gain weight to begin with. But regaining 30+ after losing almost 100, a big part was because I was very uncomfortable with the attention from men I was starting to get.

I think saying how we got to this weight is so easy but understanding why we stopped caring about ourselves and life is tha hardest. The fact that you lost 100lbs once means you are stonger than you think doll and gaining 30lbs is nothing I wish you the best and keep looking forward. Embrace the attention but don't get intimidated by it doll you are awesome for losing that much weight ^u^

Thanks hun. It's so hard to not get intimidated by it. I have terrible social anxiety and a people pleasing personality. So, not only does it make me uncomfortable, but it hurts me if I end up turning people down and it hurts them. It's a vicious cycle.

You know how hard it is to to look at a guy across a room and think "wow, he is so good looking........God, I hope he DOESN'T talk to me!!!"

i cut down drastically on exercise when i started graduate school. because of that i went up roughly 10 lb... ok not that bad. then, after grad school, decided to get pregnant. weight obviously went up because of that but then i stopped exercising while i was pregnant too because i kept getting bad false labor contractions. then, started breastfeeding, kept eating a lot of calories when i stopped which led to more weight. i realized when my baby was 15 months old that i had to do something. i had to start exercising again and eating right or i would just continue to gain weight. so i started a plan. i lost 27 lbs. then, i gained 10 back. luckily, i continued to workout. so i think some of that gain was muscle . but i still need to lose that last few lbs. i've come a long way but will never let myself get like i was when i didn't care about working out or eating right. also i had no idea what to eat until now. i know that protein is important. i know empty carb calories really aren't the best idea. i used to eat so much junk but now i know better. never again!

It's so wierd to say but I think I was testing the limits. I lost weight in my 20's and opened my part time cake business when I turned 30. I discovered a freedom of eating what I wanted when I wanted and saw no problem with that. I told myself that I am happy no matter the weight I am. However, it got to a point (about 1 month ago) that I got tired going up stairs, my back was hurting so much when I was taking walks, I was tired all of the time and my beautiful pumps were now impossible to wear cause I was (still am ) too heavy. So in the end, I was fooling myself into thinking that I had an amazing freedom when all I was doing was adding even more shackles to myself.

I have always been a bit bigger. But I followed the whole getting married and having a baby and I completely lost all track of it. Now as a 22 year old I am told I have high cholesterol and have set myself up for many more health problems.

I had an accident which left me with severe PTSD and I used to eat to make myself feel better.

That was 9 years ago and I still have not got a lid on it yet. I am a yo yo dieter and find it hard to eat in moderation.

I lost 3 stones for my wedding earlier on in the year, but when I found out I had a heart condition and my exercise had to be cut down I started to eat and not exercise again and put the three stones plus some back on in the last 8 months.

I feel awful and at the moment, until I have my heart operation I cannot exercise the way I want to so I just use that as an excuse not to do anything, and now I hate myself again.

I think you are wonderful for even being on here and taking the best step which is to take back your life ^u^ Obstacles are just victories over the horzion doll and I know you can do this atleast by eating healthy right? Good lucj and you are more than welcome to add me doll ^u^

Aww.. thanks I still feel like a fat knacker though lol xx

Motherhood can be exhausting and overwhelming. For years, I put everyone else first and myself last. It just crept up on me.

Wow, what a perfect question, the only answer I have is boredom and losing myself. I became so consumed with everyone else life and well-being I stopped caring for me. I was focused on the wishes and wills of others I lost my true interested and when I went to the store to finally shop for me( not the teenage children or love of my life) I hated what looked back at me in the mirror, sweatpants and oversize t-shirts. I didn't even know the girl in the mirror and had no desire to get to know her. So I vowed I would NOT buy anymore double sized anything this is not the body I desire my temple is worth more to me than this.

I hate to blame it on my parents, but I don't think I was really taught how to eat properly. From probably the 5th grade until high school my mother was a weight Watchers lecturer, and had purged our house of EVERYTHING remotely unhealthy. My father rebelled at this, and would volunteer to go on all the quick shopping trips to pick up a gallon of milk or loaf of bread and take us kids with him. While at the store we would always get a big bag of potato chips, box of ice cream bars, or some other fattening treat under the condition that we eat it ALL on the way home so that Mom wouldn't know we had it. Then of course we had to eat a good dinner because we were forced to be members of the clean plate club. Looking back now I remember going to bed and feeling sick to my stomach so many times, but it never really clicked that eating like that wasn't a good idea since I saw one parent depriving herself and the other pigging out.

10 years ago I went through Weight Watchers myself, and lost almost 100 lbs. Then I hurt my back, and could barely get out of bed for almost 3 months. And the weight piled back on. Then I got pregnant, and used that as an excuse not to work out hard, and to eat whatever I wanted- afterall all pregnant women are suppose to be fat, right?

So now I'm on the journey again. This time with the support of my husband who is also 100+lbs higher than he should be, and we're doing it for ourselves, each other, and for our daughter. However I don't want my daughter to fall into the same trap I did, so junk food is not completely banned from our house- it's just eaten in moderation. Junk food will always be around and be tempting, so I firmly believe she needs to learn how to deal with it now so that she doesn't follow in my path.

Getting married, after the honeymoon we both let ourselves go. Then it was a case of denial and been "too busy" to exercise.