Wait...Guys like me now??

lydia_the_tattooed_lady
lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
in Chit-Chat
I know I should've seen this coming, but it caught me off guard. I've been overweight since puberty so this is a definite first for me: All of a sudden guys are taking notice of me. Like, a lot of guys. And I have no clue how to process this :/ Specifically, I don't really know how to nicely let a guy know I'm not interested. Two friends of the guy I AM interested in have been trying really hard to flirt with me but I have no idea how to respond lol This is probably just a bunch of silliness to you guys but it's foreign to me! Any advice???
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Replies

  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    have fun with it and flirt back. just because you flirt doesn't mean you have to hook up with them. And hey, maybe the guy you are interested in will take notice :wink:
  • chosanjuan
    chosanjuan Posts: 13 Member
    Just roll with it. I'm pretty sure there are WAY more out there that you are completely oblivious about. ;)
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Enjoy it, and don't be so hung up on the guy you want to flirt with you that you miss great opportunities.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    Could be that now with weight loss, you carry yourself with more confidence. This catches a guy's eye too
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
    don't play with people's feelings. Just tell them you see them as good friends but nothing more.
  • Turtlehurdle
    Turtlehurdle Posts: 412
    In my mind, I would probably think "Oh, now you like me? Well, f_ck off!!".
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
    Yeah I kinda feel the same way: I don't want a guy who only likes me now that I've lost weight. F_ck that sh_t. Also, I am not one to play games. I don't play hard to get, or coy or anything else. I'm pretty honest and straightforward. I hate being confused so I don't like to make somebody else go through that too. Plus I suck at flirting lol

    Editing to say that I do need to keep my options open :) I have a bad habit of focusing on one person and ignoring every other guy lol
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
    Yeah I kinda feel the same way: I don't want a guy who only likes me now that I've lost weight. F_ck that sh_t. Also, I am not one to play games. I don't play hard to get, or coy or anything else. I'm pretty honest and straightforward. I hate being confused so I don't like to make somebody else go through that too. Plus I suck at flirting lol

    yea.. because a guy isnt deserving of someone that maintains a healthy body weight.... they should have loved you when you were fatter. right?
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
    You know I'm not saying that. I want somebody who will be attracted to me whatever weight I am. It's the same reason I didn't want a guy who liked me because I'm bigger! Weight will change. My personality (for the most part) will not.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,844 Member
    There are no magic words that fit every situation. Each guy is an individual and what works for one guy well might not work at all with another guy. That being said, keep it simple and honest.
  • StephieF87
    StephieF87 Posts: 60 Member
    I say there is nothing wrong with flirting, but to the ones that are just friends, try to keep it on friend levels (you know the friend zone, "I love ya buddy"...etc)
  • chrlslove7
    chrlslove7 Posts: 136 Member
    In my mind, I would probably think "Oh, now you like me? Well, f_ck off!!".

    :laugh:

    I understand attraction can increase the healthier a girl looks, but I still think that ^^. Glad I married a guy that looked right past all that when he met me. Good luck op and don't let the new attention blind yourself from a good-hearted and unshallow boy.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    Something to remember: Just because I guy likes/loves/wants you, does not mean you are obligated in any way to return the favor.

    Be friendly and flirt if you feel like it, but it's perfectly okay to maintain a distance if someone makes you uncomfortable, too.

    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself, especially if you are dressed up in makeup and high heels, because 9 times out of 10, some guy will lunge ahead to get it for you. :-D That's in my area, anyway. Depending where you live, YMMV.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    In my mind, I would probably think "Oh, now you like me? Well, f_ck off!!".
    This kind of attitude really grinds my gears. Why shouldn't we judge a potential partner for how well they look after themselves? Someone overweight is inherently less attractive to me than the same person, but a healthy weight. Is that really wrong, really?
  • chrlslove7
    chrlslove7 Posts: 136 Member

    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself

    Huh??:noway:
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
    Flirt gently back at them! It will make you feel good about yourself. If they start getting more serious and you still aren't, say something like "Hey, I have a ton of fun talking to you, and I'm flattered that you are interested, but I'm not ready to take this anywhere serious right now."

    There are a couple of people that I flirt with a little even though I am happily married. I sat them down at the beginning, looked them in the eye, and said "this is fun, and I like you, but friends and a little flirting is all this will EVER be. Are you ok with that?" They both know my husband pretty well and he knows we dance and hang out, but we have a lot of trust, and its ok. Doesn't hurt that when I hang out with those friends it is usually at the bar where my mom bartends lol.
  • hanneberries
    hanneberries Posts: 119 Member
    In my mind, I would probably think "Oh, now you like me? Well, f_ck off!!".

    But how do you know if they're guys you didn't meet before you had your weight loss, or started it, at least?

    I recently met a guy whom I'm quite interested, who seems interested in me. Personally in my mind I'm convinced I wouldn't have had a chance 26lbs ago, but I hadn't met him then.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    If you aren't interested in them then your not, but who says you can't go out and have some fun. Plus if the guy your interested in hasn't noticed you yet then screw him and move on. You can date more than one guy at a time(well not the same night) as long as your honest with that person and tell him your not ready for a one on one yet so your keeping your date book wide open.
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself, especially if you are dressed up in makeup and high heels, because 9 times out of 10, some guy will lunge ahead to get it for you.


    I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.

    that's also fun.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    It's kind of fun to walk up to a door with no intention of opening it for yourself, especially if you are dressed up in makeup and high heels, because 9 times out of 10, some guy will lunge ahead to get it for you.


    I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.

    that's also fun.

    You're on of THOSE guys! So awkward when guys hold the door open for you when you're not even close.
  • HeavenLeAngel127
    HeavenLeAngel127 Posts: 211 Member
    I know I should've seen this coming, but it caught me off guard. I've been overweight since puberty so this is a definite first for me: All of a sudden guys are taking notice of me. Like, a lot of guys. And I have no clue how to process this :/ Specifically, I don't really know how to nicely let a guy know I'm not interested. Two friends of the guy I AM interested in have been trying really hard to flirt with me but I have no idea how to respond lol This is probably just a bunch of silliness to you guys but it's foreign to me! Any advice???

    I would say it. "Geesh boys, as much as I love having you studs around me. I can't help but check out your friend." Also wiggle eyebrows so you are fun, flirty, yet you are getting your point across. And if the friend doesn't recipricate your feeling make a joke of it and say, "strike out!" Say this with a smile!
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
    How about just wait until someone doesn't flirt and is just themselves, and are friendly. They're less likely to be after the one thing only.
  • HeavenLeAngel127
    HeavenLeAngel127 Posts: 211 Member
    How about just wait until someone doesn't flirt and is just themselves, and are friendly. They're less likely to be after the one thing only.

    Flirting is fun. And its a way to show someone who has interested you by being themselves that you like them.

    Here lets flirt...

    Hey there be yourself guy....

    Isn't that so much nicer?
  • marketdimlylit
    marketdimlylit Posts: 1,601 Member
    If ya got bewbs, they're gna like ya.
  • Marc713
    Marc713 Posts: 328 Member


    I prefer the passive-aggressive approach of holding open the door for someone that is coming, and looking at them... Forcing them to speed up because you're holding the door.

    that's also fun.

    You're on of THOSE guys! So awkward when guys hold the door open for you when you're not even close.

    Well, you are either the guy that makes them speed up, or the **** that didn't hold the door....for most of us men, it's a "damned if we do" or "damned if we don't" in most cases anyhow. Like being the nice guy or the bad boy.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Yeah I have no idea how to handle this. Several times ive had a guy hit on me now and I've been so hurt and insulted because I genuinely thought he was making a joke for friends watching nearby.

    So now I just kind of half smile and politely say thank you and GTFO of their space, cause who can mock you if you are sweet and polite.

    Right?

    All I can do is, I guess, assume the more often it happens, the less likely it is that someone is being mean-hearted and mocking me. I mean alll these dudes cant be asshles right?
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    Forget what everyone else is saying. You need to sleep with as many men as possible to make up for lost time. It's gonna be awesome.
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    Congrats for you. But to me I see this as really messed up. See if you knew this guy before what suddenly changed his mind? Just like my profile says, "The way you look and feel affect the way people perceive you." I know I'm single now but I think its really sad when guys are just shallow.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Have you considered that you may have played the wallflower a bit when you were bigger, and now that you feel more confident you're actually noticing other people paying attention to you more? Enjoy it! Embrace it! Live your life, because you only get one shot at it.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    wait wait wait wait LMMFAO

    yall are upset because someone who thought of you as a friend can now see you as more than a friend because they are now sexually attracted to you as well????????????

    thats not shallow, its a fairytale. Its not shallow- its freaking MATH!!!

    What do you call someone you arent sexually into but whom you love and are not related to?
    a friend

    What do you call someone who you care about, think of as a great friend are are sexually interested in? A damn target!

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