Single at 33..why?

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  • lizchristine
    lizchristine Posts: 42 Member
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    I met my now hubby at 29 and I'm 33 now. I'm so glad I waited. He's awesome and we're a good team! My advice would be to focus less on finding the right man and more on becoming the person you want to be. When I met my husband, I wasn't focused on dating at all -- I was taking improv acting classes, hanging with my friends, having fun, etc. I think if you are feeling passionate about your life, all that natural enthusiam will eventually attract the right guy. Hang in there -- it will all work out!
  • sunshine_gem
    sunshine_gem Posts: 390 Member
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    Why are you worried about it? Because you think you should be married with kids or because you actually want to be? I get where you're coming from on the 'is there something wrong with me', but you've got to stop thinking that. You said it yourself, you know you're a good person so there's nothing wrong with you. Can I ask though, do you actively try to date? Do you go out with friends, socialise? When you're out do you present yourself with confidence? Basically do you put yourself in situations where you could meet a guy? If not then that could be the problem. And yes, there are a lot of good men already taken but I can guarantee that there will be just as many that aren't. You might just have to look a bit harder.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Don't be too discouraged ladies! One of my best friends met her SO around age 33 and it sure looks like they're in it for the long haul! OP, at least you've weeded out what group of men you shouldn't go after...now you can try to open your horizons and start check out other guys. I'm assuming you're at least a bit extroverted so use that to your advantage and strike up conversations with that cute guy in the gym or produce department. The intention doesn't have to be dating either, not at first. At least make friends and who knows, maybe one of them or one of their friends will turn out to be the love of your life.
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    EMBRACE IT!!!!!!!!!

    agreed, stop looking and go out and have fun. do the things that you like to do and you'll end up meeting someone there eventually after you let go.
  • HRCephei
    HRCephei Posts: 85 Member
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    The grass is always greener on the other side..
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    ...Maybe you're really bad in bed? :tongue:

    I kid, I kid! :laugh: Don't take it too hard, just remember there is no "magic age" at which everybody should be married, or else there is something wrong with you. Maybe a hundred years ago, but not anymore. He will come around when the time is right, and not a minute before, so try to enjoy being single for now. I know no single person likes hearing that, but there's no use being unhappy about what you can't change just yet, so try to enjoy the advantages of being single while you can.

    And if you want some advice, try dating out of a different "scene". You say the musician types haven't been working out for you lately, so why not try for someone you normally wouldn't go for? A surfer, painter, lawyer?

    And don't ever try to tell yourself that all the good guys are taken. That's the easiest way to let yourself give up, besides being totally untrue!

    Love yourself first, and the world (and that one special guy) will follow. :flowerforyou:
  • chuckyp
    chuckyp Posts: 693 Member
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    I just turned 27 a couple weeks ago, and then was a bridesmaid in a friends wedding this past weekend. It was both her and the grooms second wedding and she is just a couple months younger than me and he is 29. Seeing them both going for their second try when I have not managed to make it that far even once does make me question myself at times, but then I try to remember the good things about remaining single. Plus I am kinda picky about men and really do not want to settle for something less than I want just because I feel left behind.

    No, you're doing it right. This is one area where your goal should not be having the most. 2 marriages just means that they failed once. Take your time and find the one that lasts.
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
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    I'm single, 38 and have never had a real relationship, and it sucks so bad I can't begin to explain it. You're not alone, but if I had the answer then I'd not be single myself. Hope you find someone special and he/she makes you happy.
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
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    I'm 29, single too!

    and although i'm not unhappy i do wonder...sigh.

    got to keep our chins up girls!

    :drinker:
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,707 Member
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    I am 40 and single. I am still waiting for the right guy to come along. I do date but none turn into a relationship. It will happen but right now I am enjoying what I am dealt with. Just have fun and you will find someone.
  • Dayna5K
    Dayna5K Posts: 136 Member
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    I've been divorced for 7 years and I have a wonderful 9 year old as a result. I would love to meet the right guy and get married again, but it has not happened ...yet, but I have faith that he is out there somewhere and I will meet him when the time is right!

    I think the key is to stay focused on your purpose here and have faith! Also, remain open-minded and do not let other people (i.e. society, church friends, etc). dictate to you how your life is supposed to progress. There is no "right" formula for life. Just prepare to be surprised and try to enjoy the ride :-)
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I'm single because I refused to settle.

    The guys I've dated and dumped have all ended up with women who are 100% more compatible with them but if I had stayed with them I'd be married now. Only... I'm glad I'm not. :)

    Marriage is a huge commitment and I'll make it when I've found someone I actually want to spend my life with.
  • goatrider
    goatrider Posts: 1
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    Don't worry so much. I am a 32 year old male, Ivy League educated, an added Master's on top, good job and tall, dark and handsome by most accounts. I try everyday to be a better man than the day before. And I have never been married either. There is someone out there for all of us. I personally find the confident, happy single woman in her thirties to be the sexiest thing in the world. So smile and project your inner-happiness, even if it is just a seed at the moment.
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    I'm 28, never married and no kids. I'm in no way financially to do this either so I'm just enjoying my time being alone. I've been really fortunate to see some cool things and always remind myself that. Embrace what you have, it's not gonna last forever!
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
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    Yeah, I'm 35 and still haven't quite made it to the alter just yet. Not rushing. I didn't meet my partner until I was 32. Going younger and not being too averse to dating in the nerd community was helpful. I don't know about religious and Christian and all that. Can't help you there. I can tell you to expand your horizons a tad and relax. Don't be in a rush. Trust me, just getting married to get married to the first schlub you find who's willing would be a bad mistake. More than once I've let out a sigh of relief after breaking up with someone knowing I dodged a serious bullet. I dunno what to tell you about the kid thing either, except that having kids with the wrong guy would be more awful on top of marrying the wrong guy. I just know there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you just because you're 33 and never married. It's better to stay single and make sure you find the right person. HTH. :flowerforyou:
  • Caffeinewitch
    Caffeinewitch Posts: 110 Member
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    Three things:
    Stop setting up a type - setting any kind of standard beyond "treats me how I want to be treated" is getting too specific. Seriously.

    Volunteer - meet people doing things you care about, even if you don't get a date you'll make some new friends and be doing something worthwhile

    Be in love with yourself - what makes you interesting? What makes you happy? From what we've got here, it sounds like you're hunting for a man and you're upset while doing it. Everyone can see when someone is in love, even if it's just with themselves, or with the whole world. Would you want to be with someone who's hunting and miserable? Or with someone who's just so darn in love that you want to share it?
  • dellrio
    dellrio Posts: 131 Member
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    EMBRACE IT!!!!!!!!!

    ^^ What she said! If your sole goal in life is to get married then perhaps you need to expand you pool of acceptable candidates. I am 29 and have been in several long term live-in type relationships at this point in my life, and I am extremely happy I have never been married.

    Each one of those 3+ year relationships ( I have had 3 of them) could have become marriages, and based on the fact that they are all in the past - each one would have been a bad decision.

    33 is not old - and there is probably nothing wrong with you. You just need to meet new people and open up your mind to accept new ideas. I have met many great potential matches who completely discount me for not sharing their views on religion (despite the fact that I am more morally sound than many "religious" people), politics, or other things.

    Get out there - and do what you enjoy doing, learn to be independent and do things alone, only once you do this can you meet someone who is truly right for you.
  • terrappyn
    terrappyn Posts: 324 Member
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    I'm 31, the last of my friends to get married (have kids) when I really thought I would have been the first for the marriage part, didn't really want kids. I was engaged for 3 years together for 7 and last year said I'm outta here. In a new relationship now and almost 2 years in....fingers crossed. I really am having a hard time now dealing with the marriage thing but hell have fun with all the wrong ones. Stop looking and he'll come around.
  • Kalyn_Zupan
    Kalyn_Zupan Posts: 2
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    I know it seems pretty hopeless, but just be optimistic. One day you will find somebody! Just live life for you now; do what you want to do and go where you want to go. If you do that, you'll find the right one:)
  • dellrio
    dellrio Posts: 131 Member
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    One more thing - many (not all) of the "good men" are typically going to be the ones who are more shy, and more nervous to approach a woman - so perhaps you need to be more aggressive in your dating and actually go after a man rather than sitting around waiting for them to find you.

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