"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"

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  • AggieLu
    AggieLu Posts: 873 Member
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    That is an insult....

    I threw a party for my parents' 30th wedding anniversary last year in July. I invited a bunch of people, one of them being a Catholic priest - a very close friend of theirs. I know he was checking me out as I set up the food and stuff. Eventually, he told me in front of a few people" You are beautiful but too fat, if you lost weight you'd be damn sexy." THOSE EXACT WORDS.. I will never forget them as I was never insulted like that not only in front of others, but by a priest. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I haven't seen him since. *kitten**ole!
  • minimaggie
    minimaggie Posts: 224 Member
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    I have heard since I was 6 years old, " You are so pretty, BUT you would be so much prettier IF you would just lose weight." Nothing like killing a child's self esteem at 6 years old and people wonder why I spent the better half of my 39 years beating myself up and devaluing myself!!!

    Weight only equals beauty in Hollywood!!! You are beautiful!!!
  • SteveT59
    SteveT59 Posts: 47 Member
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    There are some truly beautiful larger ladies, I myself think Dawn French (UK Comedienne) is stunning, and she is what you may call portly. I understand what these people were trying to say, however, the way they have chosen to say what they did represents some sort of ignorance.
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    the only appropriate reply: "You'd be smart if you knew how to shut the *kitten* up"

    Follow up kicks and/or punches optional.
  • LarStar
    LarStar Posts: 102 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    Yes! Say this!!
  • tbskipp
    tbskipp Posts: 184 Member
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    People can be true a$$hats. NO one has the right to tell a complete stranger such a thing.
    Yes, i have heard it. Heard it from family members, that's pretty hurtful.

    Kinda like asking a total stranger "When is your baby due?" A$$hats.
    :grumble:
  • dy617
    dy617 Posts: 76 Member
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    Its a backhanded compliment. I have no idea why people feel it is okay to say things like that. aarrrgghhhhhh
  • lglg11
    lglg11 Posts: 344 Member
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    -true beauty lies within

    thats what people who don't want to change say.


    people that say things like that, they want a reaction. they want you to call them a "beeyotch" or say something like "i can lose the weight, you'll always be a horrible person."

    the best thing you can do is ignore them. don't validate certain people.

    i dropped a lot of weight, and my uncle said to me "keep losing." i said nothing. i started doing strength training and eating more and putting on some weight, and my uncle said "your face looks fatter." i still said nothing. he wants to make himself feel better. thats all.

    ^^^THIS
  • Mama_Mila
    Mama_Mila Posts: 511 Member
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    You should have said, "Well you might be nice person if you werent such a b#tch".


    ^^^^exactly what you should have done....and threw in a b!tch slap just for ****s and giggles
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
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    I dont care what people say to me,they could tell me im pretty or butt ugly,either way it hasnt mattered to me in a very long time
  • demonlullaby
    demonlullaby Posts: 499 Member
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    unfortunately i did once get from a gas station clerk
    "are you pregnant"
    that was the only time i ever replied with a "f you."
  • Kallie3000
    Kallie3000 Posts: 33 Member
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    My response to that compliment would be "You'd be nice if you weren't such a *****!"
  • reddi2roll
    reddi2roll Posts: 356 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    Oh yeah! You nailed it.
  • emotionalharlequin
    emotionalharlequin Posts: 83
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    As up-my-*kitten* as it may sound, I do think it about myself. It motivates me. =) Turn that negative feeling into something positive and use it to motivate you!

    I have a heart shaped face, a beautiful hourglass body and gorgeous legs. I'm only 1.5 dress sizes away from what I believe would be ideal in making my features look better: I too would look pretty if I were a little skinnier. It's the number one thing that gives me the drive to shed the remaining fat! =D
  • sugboog29
    sugboog29 Posts: 630 Member
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    What a horrible thing to say to someone.

    All I can say is that I'm thankful for my husband who loved me even when I was obese. He said I was always his pretty wife. He is glad I lost weight because it makes ME happy, but he gets mad if I disparage myself in any way about when I was fat. He always reminds me that I was always his lovely wife. I think I'm lucky to have him. :)

    Our husbands must be related!! Mine is always telling me how beautiful and sexy I am...even more so now that I am losing weight. I know he loves me...cause even at my worst he tells me I'm beautiful!

    As for the "complimentors"....I would have come back with "I always thought I was pretty"...hmmm!
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    There is a video on YouTube... I'll have to look it up for you. You'll laugh, I hope. Anyway, the girl in the video gets told something similar and she comes up with multiple comebacks. One of my favorites is when she gets this "wow" look on her face and says, "Oh my gosh, I was just going to say the same thing to you!"

    I'm a huge fan of sarcasm. :tongue:
  • nicolio8699
    nicolio8699 Posts: 141 Member
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    ohemgee. story of my life! lol- and it doesn't really matter- i think my face was prettier when i was a fatty anyways! fuk em! this IS an insult! who the fuk? baaah! this is amazing to me---pretty is pretty is pretty, fat or skinny! don't pay em no mind, they are both without manners or social skills! <3<3n-
  • bonster1983
    bonster1983 Posts: 17 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    Dang, did you tell him he would be attractive to women if he could quit being a **** all the time! I don't even know what I would do if that happened to me.
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
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    part of what kept me so fat for so long was friends who didn't want to hurt my feelings telling me that I wasn't fat, that I was solid, big boned and "still beautiful". It wasn't till I heard the truth from a guy I really liked that I finally got smacked in the face with it.....and was able to get motivated to lose the weight....

    and now I AM beautiful, inside and out....

    truth is truth.....don't cover it with chocolate to make it taste better.....if you are morbidly obese you WILL be more attractive when you lose the extra weight

    don't be a hater :)

    Yea, you will feel better, and more than likely look better when you lose the weight. (except in the rare case where some girls/guys actually DO look prettier with some extra meat) BUT that still does not make it any nicer to say to a total stranger something along the lines of "you're fat" or lose weight to be pretty.

    I think friends should be a bit more honest. I won't lie, I honestly prolonged losing weight because of that! I'd say "I'm fat, I need to lose weight" and my friends would all jump in with the "no you're not! You're pretty" blah blah blah. But see, if THEY said I should lose weight, it's ok, because they're my friends. I've known them for a long time and chances are they are saying it for my well being. Not to be snarky. But if a stranger says it, it's mortifying and discouraging. It's almost as bad as the "when are you due?" when you're not pregnant!
  • shelbyfrootcake
    shelbyfrootcake Posts: 965 Member
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    Nope. Regardless of my weight, skinny or otherwise, I don't get compliments about being pretty other than from my partner or my mum. C'est la vie.

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