"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"

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  • Meliklotz
    Meliklotz Posts: 66 Member
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.
    My response would be 'You would be smarter if you didn't open your mouth.'
  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
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    Just curious, but the women who told you that...were they skinny?
  • caterpillardreams
    caterpillardreams Posts: 476 Member
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    Never happened to me and I think it's pretty rude... First of all "skinny" doesn't make people beautiful!!! That's the most important thing to realize. It took me a while to get that myself.

    But don't get upset about it. If you can use it to your advantage - as motivation or as a thought when you do kickboxing ;-) - then do it. Otherwise, don't think about it anymore.

    This is so true. Honestly I would tell those people that what they said is rude. Every single person has to deal with themselves and obviously these people are not by any means beautiful, I do not care what they look like. Skinny is not beautiful A person is beautiful. If you want to lose weight then that is a decision you make. If you don't so be it. People are beautiful and pretty big and small. And that is the real truth. Some people, not all, are very superficial and only see the outside. Obviously I love to look good but if that's all I'm worried about my life would be very unbalanced.
    Who gave these people the right to talk to you like that.
    You find your beauty within yourself, do not live your life according to anyone else.
  • txdahl
    txdahl Posts: 107 Member
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    I've been told that by guys and my response is usually, 'yea but if that means guys like you would be attracted to me why bother!'

    I will admit it gives me a complex but it also reminds me that ppl can be so shallow. I try to use it as motivation and move on. I can't help ppl's stupidity.
  • jackie2866
    jackie2866 Posts: 62 Member
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.

    OMG - Yes it is very insulting if you ask me. Somebody told me this at a meeting earlier this year, when I was all dressed up and thought I looked pretty good. It was very upsetting to me. People are stupid sometimes.
  • hollyk57
    hollyk57 Posts: 520 Member
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    I've heard that one before.... my personal fav was an older, wealthy woman who was a member at a private club I worked for... she said, 'Honey, you're so pretty, just don't get any bigger' - How does one respond to that (while not getting fired?!) - I was like, oh, um...thanks. Will do, Mrs. A! Thanks for the tip! People can be so ignorant

    5cc5dc94190db6e35904b901c2062307-gym-wont-make-you-pretty.jpg
  • Ph4lanx
    Ph4lanx Posts: 213 Member
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.

    Just reply with, "Do you just tell others, or would you ever dare to practice what you preach?"
  • desiv2
    desiv2 Posts: 651 Member
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    Yep, that's a good one. LOL. People are dumb, you just got to shrug it off. If you were skinny, they'd give you plenty of backhanded compliments about that too. You're doing what you're doing for you and nobody else. :)


    I love the earlier person's response, "You'd be smart if you weren't so dumb." Hahahaa...
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    One can't win.
    I've been told I'd be "pretty if I gained some weight"...and I'm a hard and lean muscley 112lbs. I mean...wtf do they want?
  • Crocetti1984
    Crocetti1984 Posts: 25
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    Haha! This. I'll have to remember that.
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
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    Yep, I've heard this many a time. It depends on the day and my mood whether I take it as an insult or a compliment. I try to be of the mindset that this means I have the potential to be hot and I try to use it as motivation. But it's kind of a stupid back-handed way to compliment someone. It's like saying "Well, you COULD be pretty, but right now you're just fat." It's just a dumb thing to say to someone, even if you don't mean it as an insult. I know that I'll look (and more importantly feel) much better if I lose weight, and I am thankful that I have a decent face. But that doesn't make it OK for complete strangers to say stuff like that. People suck. Try to ignore them at all costs.
  • MissyMissy18
    MissyMissy18 Posts: 315 Member
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    I had a friend tell me this once. A friend who was very overweight for most of her life, and then lost a lot of weight in college (which was when I gained all of mine). She's one of those who looks down on all overweight people now.

    She also said things like "I used to be so jealous of you" (in highschool, because I wasn't overweight)... maybe I'm over sensitive, but these comments always rubbed me the wrong way. They are backhanded and insensitive...especially coming from a friend :/

    Anyway... I'm now thinner than her again, and as petty as it may be, that gives me a little bit of satisfaction ;) heh heh
  • bandenna
    bandenna Posts: 89 Member
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    YES! Some friends tell me I would be hot if I was fit. I have boobs and a butt, but also a gut :blushing: Ugh! Its motivation for me, but then again it is embarrassing and fustraiting.
  • brandi22479
    brandi22479 Posts: 81 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    This! Enough said!!
  • tindaisy
    tindaisy Posts: 6
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    I hate that "compliment." Since when was being skinny a requirement for being considered pretty?

    AGREE!!
  • pandabratt1
    pandabratt1 Posts: 36 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    I'm sorry to say that I might not have had the same self restraint that you did!
  • carmentownes
    carmentownes Posts: 46 Member
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    It's a backhanded compliment. I have recieved that my entire life but in a different way. Man, you have a pretty face. Not just that i am pretty but basically narrowing it down to my face. Or i dated a guy who says...i normally don't date chunky or big girls....LIKE WTF? That is not a compliment but people who have never had a weight problem look at it as if it is a compliment. Ignorance is bliss.
  • nicolio8699
    nicolio8699 Posts: 141 Member
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    What a horrible thing to say to someone.

    All I can say is that I'm thankful for my husband who loved me even when I was obese. He said I was always his pretty wife. He is glad I lost weight because it makes ME happy, but he gets mad if I disparage myself in any way about when I was fat. He always reminds me that I was always his lovely wife. I think I'm lucky to have him. :)

    Our husbands must be related!! Mine is always telling me how beautiful and sexy I am...even more so now that I am losing weight. I know he loves me...cause even at my worst he tells me I'm beautiful!

    As for the "complimentors"....I would have come back with "I always thought I was pretty"...hmmm!


    i am a jerk- so i am always trying to trick my husband into saying he thinks i'm prettier now (over 300 lbs to 175ish!) and he is unwavering! not once has he said he prefers me one way or the other--just that i have always been beautiful, sexy, etc to him! lol--and honestly? he probably found me sexier as a fatty bc my body is a sagging mess now! lol but, it's nice to know there are other sweet men out there:) <3<3N-
  • Sarahbara76
    Sarahbara76 Posts: 601 Member
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    when I was sick with an ED women would tell me I'd be pretty if I gained weight..one of my friends and her hubby still say I need to "go eat a cheeseburger"..pisses me off.. I wanna bench press their ignorant *kitten* ..also when I was that thin my boyfriend said he didn't think I was attractive anymore ..made fun of my razor sharp cheekbones:angry:
  • nae2273
    nae2273 Posts: 8
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    next time someone says that to you catch them off guard and ask them.."So basically you're saying I'm ugly???" I agree with you saying that its insulting... regardless of your weight I'm sure you are beautiful inside and out! :flowerforyou:

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