"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"

its awful i actually had a guy on the street stop me to tell me he thought i was pretty and would i go on a date with him, really friendly, when i told him i had a boyfriend sorry, he said well you have the fattest *kitten* anyway which ruins you sigh...

A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

I don't eat cake

It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

Dang, did you tell him he would be attractive to women if he could quit being a **** all the time! I don't even know what I would do if that happened to me.

I mainly just stood there gaping like a goldfish. Of course I thought of all sorts of awesome comebacks the next day... :grumble:

The ironic thing is that he was skinny and bald and funny looking - so not a exactly poster boy for the idealised version of beauty himself.

I know, it sucks. Last time I heard something like that, it came from my own grandma. She said something along the lines of "You're so pretty and smart; it would be better if you lost a few pounds." I mean, I KNOW I have to lose some. It's just that it hurts hearing it from someone else, especially someone close.

But at the same time, all these experiences motivate you in the end. I want to lose some weight, so that I can go to her and say "Look at me. I've improved." And regarding people who say it as a mean comment, always remember that people who deal with problems like being overweight tend to have a better view of the world. We learn to see past the surface. Because we know what it feels like to be hurt, we are more careful with our words and try to understand the situation better before making a remark.
To me, that's a valuable thing which makes us ten times better than those who comment without thinking about it.

Yes, I would be offended! I am aware I need to lose weight, why else would I be on here? But to be reduced to my beauty and value being tied to my weight and looks? That is just insulting! It is time we as women demand to be counted as more than a pretty face and hot body for men to ogle and other women to judge and as whole persons! There's my feminist rant for the day :happy:

So, so rude. It wouldn't be ok to go up to someone and say 'you'd be pretty if you changed your hair/ dressed better', would it?!

I'm usually not quick enough to think of a witty reply, so now I look at them and bark, really loudly. They will be afraid, and leave quickly.
I got this tip from a parent of a child with autism, who got sick of people saying things like 'can't you control your child?' when he was barking like a dog.

Yes my mom says this to me often.

I have heard this too but I think most people wouldn't say it out loud but just think it. I know personally, I will look better thinner- who in their right mind loves extra fat hanging around? Good job on your weight loss!

Screw them all!!! That's what I think. I have been told this (or a version of this) so many times I don't even count anymore. I just smile and tell them thanks for their opinion. I take the high road, but it my head I am cussing them out! lol

The last time someone said that to me it was an elderly lady that was new to our church. I decided to look her dead in the eye and say "Aww, thanks! But you know what? I'm already pretty-losing weight would just make me skinnier." Boy did I make that lady MAD! But the other ladies that were waiting were amused!

Clapping and smiling. Good for you!

I've heard "You have a pretty face" before and "I bet you were hot when you were thinner". I just laugh it off and do the best I can to not get offended and hurt.

A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

I don't eat cake

It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

Dang, did you tell him he would be attractive to women if he could quit being a **** all the time! I don't even know what I would do if that happened to me.

I mainly just stood there gaping like a goldfish. Of course I thought of all sorts of awesome comebacks the next day... :grumble:

The ironic thing is that he was skinny and bald and funny looking - so not a exactly poster boy for the idealised version of beauty himself.

THEY NEVER ARE! Amirite?

Seriously. And if I had a dollar for every jerk who talked smack about my weight who hadn't seen the inside of a gym in a decade or never passed up a buffet, I'd be hiring a personal trainer and home chef.

I get where people are coming from in this thread when they talk about people telling you the truth about losing weight... but how many people here think it's okay to give that kind of advice to strangers or coworkers unbidden? How many people walk past the smokers outside your offices and say something like "You know you'd probably live a longer, healthier life if you'd quit." And let's face it, the people doing the lecturing in this case don't care about health. They care about the OUTSIDE of whoever they are looking at. "You'd be prettier." Really? I've seen plenty of people who didn't look prettier. Remember Starr Jones? Her face was so pretty... and then she lost weight and she looked like an alien. So no, you don't automatically get pretty when you lose weight. NEWSFLASH: you have to be pretty to begin with, and there isn't a guarantee that you'll stay that way as every person's experience/result is different.

This is why I don't listen to Howard Stern. Because he'd call me "Another Fat Chick with a Pretty Face" and I'm all set with that mentality.

When I lose weight, I will weigh less.
When I work out, I will be in shape.
When I do what's right for my health, I'll feel better.

But I'm pretty right now, and I always have been.


Hey, OP. Take your power back from those people. Do what you want to do for all the right reasons, and forget the rest.

This is such an ignorant thing to say.

If you'd be pretty skinny then you're pretty now.

I have had people say this to me and my response has been: What? So you think I'm ugly now then?

That usually puts them in their place and I'm a jerk when insulted so I don't let it go. Ever. I torment them for weeks to come with: So and so says I'm ugly. Am I ugly?

So. Much. Retribution.

My grandmother used to tell me this all the time. When I was 8. She was always incredibly vocal about her dislike of "fat people" and liked to tell me that I was one of them. I have always been a sensitive person, and I honestly believe that her criticism scarred me. I need to work on thicker skin!

WTF. They need to be slapped. Skinny does not equal pretty. I know plenty of people who are skinny and miserable. This makes them so UGLY inside and out. This is what is wrong with the world now.