"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"

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  • sprocket1978
    sprocket1978 Posts: 51 Member
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    its awful :( i actually had a guy on the street stop me to tell me he thought i was pretty and would i go on a date with him, really friendly, when i told him i had a boyfriend sorry, he said well you have the fattest *kitten* anyway which ruins you :( sigh...
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    I get the “you’d look odd if you were skinny” I’m a big guy, and will always be a big guy. I’m working on transferring my size away from my belly and keeping the big shoulders and such.

    There are a lot of beautiful women out there that are out of shape, and they are still beautiful without being skinny.
  • zoeluiisa
    zoeluiisa Posts: 392
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    Dang, did you tell him he would be attractive to women if he could quit being a **** all the time! I don't even know what I would do if that happened to me.

    I mainly just stood there gaping like a goldfish. Of course I thought of all sorts of awesome comebacks the next day... :grumble:

    The ironic thing is that he was skinny and bald and funny looking - so not a exactly poster boy for the idealised version of beauty himself.
  • PuggleLover
    PuggleLover Posts: 261 Member
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    reply back with... you would be nice if you weren't such an *kitten*.
  • cherrym03
    cherrym03 Posts: 26 Member
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    I know, it sucks. Last time I heard something like that, it came from my own grandma. She said something along the lines of "You're so pretty and smart; it would be better if you lost a few pounds." I mean, I KNOW I have to lose some. It's just that it hurts hearing it from someone else, especially someone close.

    But at the same time, all these experiences motivate you in the end. I want to lose some weight, so that I can go to her and say "Look at me. I've improved." And regarding people who say it as a mean comment, always remember that people who deal with problems like being overweight tend to have a better view of the world. We learn to see past the surface. Because we know what it feels like to be hurt, we are more careful with our words and try to understand the situation better before making a remark.
    To me, that's a valuable thing which makes us ten times better than those who comment without thinking about it.
  • severins_obsession
    severins_obsession Posts: 12 Member
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    Nobody has said anything like this to me directly, but lots of people have told me that I'm pretty (guys included), meanwhile there's never quite been a lineup of suitors waiting at my front door.

    Sometimes, I can't decide which is worse: nobody wanting me because of my body, or people only wanting me for my body!

    I'm hoping it will be as rewarding as I think it will be telling all the guys I've known forever to get stuffed when they try to date the Lesser Me *evil grin*.
  • demonlullaby
    demonlullaby Posts: 499 Member
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    Just curious, but the women who told you that...were they skinny?

    both time's I got it in the bathroom they were pretty skinny.
    when I was told it at work... the lady was probably a little lighter than me.
  • mandorla
    mandorla Posts: 81 Member
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    My mom use to tell me that ALL THE TIME. She's quit expecting me to be skinny (she was a size zero when she got married and that is her idea of beauty). She's now moved onto, "when are you going to get married." *sigh*

    Yap, like everyone I have mother issues :)
  • bookwormwendy
    bookwormwendy Posts: 112 Member
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    Yes, I would be offended! I am aware I need to lose weight, why else would I be on here? But to be reduced to my beauty and value being tied to my weight and looks? That is just insulting! It is time we as women demand to be counted as more than a pretty face and hot body for men to ogle and other women to judge and as whole persons! There's my feminist rant for the day :happy:
  • Yana150
    Yana150 Posts: 226
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    I had a former professor tell me, "You are such a pretty girl, if only you lost a little weight, you would be angelic." There I was, after having already lost 25 lbs. (50 more to lose) and bent over refilling a copy machine.

    I stood up, told her thank you, but that I had just lost some weight and was trying hard to lose more. She nodded her head and said, "Good. Try very hard!" The secretary in our office was much more upset about hearing that exchange than I was.

    This is one of those things it's very difficult to know how to respond to, especially when the person is older or someone you like and respect.
  • GuineaMother
    GuineaMother Posts: 59 Member
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    So, so rude. It wouldn't be ok to go up to someone and say 'you'd be pretty if you changed your hair/ dressed better', would it?!

    I'm usually not quick enough to think of a witty reply, so now I look at them and bark, really loudly. They will be afraid, and leave quickly.
    I got this tip from a parent of a child with autism, who got sick of people saying things like 'can't you control your child?' when he was barking like a dog.
  • bookwormwendy
    bookwormwendy Posts: 112 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    I would have :wink:
  • NaEl1
    NaEl1 Posts: 67 Member
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    Yes my mom says this to me often. :(
  • Linda_Darlene
    Linda_Darlene Posts: 453 Member
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    Push the b**** down a flight of stairs.
  • lisa_hodge
    lisa_hodge Posts: 2 Member
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    I have heard this too but I think most people wouldn't say it out loud but just think it. I know personally, I will look better thinner- who in their right mind loves extra fat hanging around? Good job on your weight loss!
  • AKbluedragonfly
    AKbluedragonfly Posts: 79 Member
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    I had a boyfriend say "You should shave your head, that'd be hot, oh, but wait, you'd have to lose weight or it wouldn't look good".

    Yeah, it hurts, but I suppose skinny people get it the other way around when they're called a "butter face". Meaning, they have a hot body but an ugly face. At least the body is easier to change than the face!

    Use it as motivation, but remember skinny doesn't equal happy.
  • howdeelightful
    howdeelightful Posts: 385
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    Screw them all!!! That's what I think. I have been told this (or a version of this) so many times I don't even count anymore. I just smile and tell them thanks for their opinion. I take the high road, but it my head I am cussing them out! lol :)
  • GuineaMother
    GuineaMother Posts: 59 Member
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    Also, when a guy kept telling a friend of mine that she was hot she asked, 'you have noticed I'm, fat, right?' and his reply was 'you think I would have stopped to talk to you if you were a size 10? You're gorgeous' (UK size)
    Eye of the beholder, and all that....
  • bookwormwendy
    bookwormwendy Posts: 112 Member
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    The last time someone said that to me it was an elderly lady that was new to our church. I decided to look her dead in the eye and say "Aww, thanks! But you know what? I'm already pretty-losing weight would just make me skinnier." Boy did I make that lady MAD! But the other ladies that were waiting were amused!

    Clapping and smiling. Good for you!
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    That is rude. What they should say is that you ARE pretty....because you are.

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