"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"

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  • pocket_bunnie
    pocket_bunnie Posts: 2 Member
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    I've been told this my whole life by my family, specifically my grandmother, my grandfather, my mother, and her husband. It's hard when the people who you might expect to be supportive are just giving you backwards reasoning as to why to lose weight.

    On most occasions, that statement is followed with, "And you have such a pretty face." What about the rest of me?! How about how smart I am?! How about how successful I am at such a young age?! Or how I've dealt with you dumb people my whole life?! How about that? Yeah. /endrant
  • rsellersCST
    rsellersCST Posts: 333 Member
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    I haven't read all the replies... but um... some people seem to never learn to just SHUT UP if they don't have anything nice to say. They feel like they are doing a service pointing out what THEY think... I would have said...

    "I'll take the beauty in my pinky finger over the common sense in your brain."

    Sheesh!

    I've heard similar things at points in life... some from well meaning people... others who thought it was a "compliment" etc. It makes me wonder how they would feel if I turned around and commented on something they were insecure about or struggled with. "Wow, you would be so smart if you were a doctor... that two year degree is well... ok..." or "You would be a great mom if your kids weren't screaming all the time..." or "Your husband would love you more if you'd shut up..." or "Your wife would think you were more awesome if you earned more money..." None of which is relevant just like your BEAUTY shouldn't be commented upon based on another person's idea of SKINNY defining beautiful...

    Again... coming back to the common sense thing... I'll take that over exterior beauty every time!!!
  • juscallmeb
    juscallmeb Posts: 369 Member
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    I hate that "compliment." Since when was being skinny a requirement for being considered pretty?

    agreed.
    there's so much more to being "beautiful" than just being skinny.
    what about personality or a kind heart and like some have said, true beauty is within. :)
  • majikmiker
    majikmiker Posts: 291 Member
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    My reply: "You'd be nice, if your mouth didn't get in the way"
  • got2bstrong
    got2bstrong Posts: 29
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.

    I hope you respond with, "You'd be attractive too, if you weren't such a moron."
  • VanessaHeartsMasr
    VanessaHeartsMasr Posts: 727
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    I've been told that my entire life. The people who say these things don't realize how hurtful it can be.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    I wouldn't waste a good drink on the loser
  • IronTitaness
    IronTitaness Posts: 117
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    This happened to me quite a few times and it didn't make me feel great :grumble: Especially when they start to give me lessons on how to lose weight. :mad:

    I don't know what is wrong with this people! Can't they just mind their own business?

    True beauty is on the inside. What is outside will fade away!

    x
  • Sogj76
    Sogj76 Posts: 21
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    While there are worse things to hear. It's frustrating when you hear it!
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    That is a really rude thing to say, whether they have good intentions or not people should have enough sense to know that you don't say that to someone! unless it was a child, there is no excuse to be that insensitive!
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."
    :heart: ^this^:heart:
  • Nerdybreisawesome
    Nerdybreisawesome Posts: 359 Member
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    Okay..
    so this has happened on two different occasions where I was in a public bathroom doing my make up or whatever and a lady has told me.
    "you would be beautiful if you were skinny"
    ......... i always take this as an insult though i'm not sure if it is.

    today at work a lady came in and told me-
    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly... I guess at the same time it's pushing me more to lose weight. I just don't know how to feel about it.


    I wish someone would say it to me. But alas, I have never been considered pretty. I have been called kind of okay looking but not pretty. So at least you have a pretty face. :)
  • ceecee7636
    ceecee7636 Posts: 37 Member
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    When I was fat I got told things like that, my personal favorite was the slightly more tactful "you have such a pretty face," although at least those people left the "too bad your fat" as an implicit rather than explicit message. However, it turns out that my moderately overweight face is a lot prettier than my healthy weight face (which actually looks kinda gaunt). You can't win. Some people are just jerks. Ignore them and do what you have to do.

    I get the such a pretty face one all the time - feel great...NOT
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,000 Member
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    True beauty is on the inside. What is outside will fade away!
    Not true! Beauty is skin-deep. Once their skin is peeled off, they all look pretty much look the same.
  • novalh42
    novalh42 Posts: 102 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    I love this!!!
  • mazzasweet
    mazzasweet Posts: 266 Member
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    Try to hear me, okay? You ARE Beautiful RIGHT NOW! Smart, kind, BEAUTIFUL!!

    At 100 lbs or 500 lbs you are lovely inside and out and very much loved and valued... reading this right now.

    All my life I have heard the same thing; 'What a beautiful face you have", or "If you lost weight, you would be a knock-out". I know I have 'internalized' this message and it has really wrecked havoc on my self-esteem.. which feeds my binge eating.

    We can't let others determine our worth.
    XOXO
  • mazzasweet
    mazzasweet Posts: 266 Member
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    I hate that "compliment." Since when was being skinny a requirement for being considered pretty?

    Amen!! Beautiful is not contingent upon weight!
  • mazzasweet
    mazzasweet Posts: 266 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    Ugh! You should have told him if he wasn't so ugly on the inside he would be attractive!
  • WalkingGirl1985
    WalkingGirl1985 Posts: 2,047 Member
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    That would really piss me off and that person would end up getting a black eye depending on the mood. Nobody should ever put anyone else down.
  • Rocki_
    Rocki_ Posts: 166 Member
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    A guy said that to me in a pub once - actually took me aside and gave me a lecture on how I could be so attractive to men if I'd only stop eating cake.

    I don't eat cake :angry:

    It was all I could do not to pour a drink over his head.

    You should have done it.

    I WOULD HAVE done it! It's happened to me more times than I can count...even from people who were supposed to love me. Water off a duck's back, Baby! As I once turned around and said, "I may be fat, but you're an ugly *kitten* and I can diet"
    :-)

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