Is this normal now?!?!
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Some of you guys are so harsh!1. Don't have a job
Maybe has been laid off and is looking. Having a job is important I agree, but knowing what they used to do and/or what they are lookign for may be just as important.
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
Maybe they were born raised in the city and didn't need a car and used public transportaion (Taxi, Bus, Metro, Train, etc)
3. Still live at home with their parents
Many may still live at home to save and pay off debt or help with a family situation.
You need to delve in deeper to these reasons for not dating a guy. None of the above make a guy a loser. Now if he is 25, never had a job, never went to college and spends most of his time in his parents basement playing video games - that may be a different story. But again - get the whole story before making judgements against the poor guy!!
I agree!0 -
My knee jerk reaction would be that ALL men need to do some kind of work.No.
The answer is no.
If you are a "man", you need to have a job.
blaming the economy is a cop out plain and simple. Jobs are out there. They might be sucky jobs but, they are jobs nontheless.
Oh, and the only excuse for a man not knowing how to drive is ifhe was born and raised in New York city or on Gilligans Island.
Okay so yes a job is important, but I'm wondering if women (especially OP) would prefer a man who is actively lookign for something in his field or a 30yo working at McDonalds Both come with judgement! So no, the economy is not a cop out, it is real for some. and I emphasize "some" as many do use it as a cop out and a way not to work. But don't label all.
And..... why does "man" need a job??!! Is that all men or just single men??
Now, there could be exceptions to the rule.
A: Wife is making a boat load of money and Dad is a stay at home Father.
B: Wife is working while Husband is finishing school (he better be ready to work his *kitten* off upon graduation)
C: Some kind of horrible injury that makes work impossible.
Thats all I can think of.0 -
who cares if they drive a car????
Where are you gonna do it? obviously not at their parent's house......On the bus is......well......awkward. Just saying.
Awesome!0 -
I think the REALLY interesting part is that it seems so many more men than women are in that group. Why is it that young women seem more interested in being independent than men of their same age? -- Fascinating.
- I've noticed that too... I know lots of other gals that moved out young and support themselves and are still single... a lot more single women, than single men that I know... Wonder if the guys are just less motivated? or if the motivated guys just get snatched up sooner
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No.
The answer is no.
If you are a "man", you need to have a job.
blaming the economy is a cop out plain and simple. Jobs are out there. They might be sucky jobs but, they are jobs nontheless.
Oh, and the only excuse for a man not knowing how to drive is ifhe was born and raised in New York city or on Gilligans Island.
That's what I'm saying... If you need to work at McDonald's until something better comes along... hey at least it's a job! You can always keep looking for a better job if you are not happy with that job.
As far as not driving goes... a lot of them know how to drive... but lots of DUI's... I live right across the river from Missouri 0 -
I dated a whole BUNCH of winners. One was still in love with his ex g/f, one was a 40 year old township defense lawyer who lived with his parents, one who quit college one semester before he graduated and was happy to be able to do that and make minimum wage while he lived with his mother , one proposed to me on the first date, one looked and acted like my grandfather, one used the fact that he was a paraplegic to get sympathy, another paraplegic who told me he was rich (from a lawsuit) and that any woman that hooked up with him would be very fortunate, one who judged his dates on how advanced their vocabulary was, one who was looking for someone that was into bestiality like his late wife, one who wouldn't divorce his wife because he didn't want to lose half of everything he had....I could go on...and on.
Now, granted, they all had jobs but there are still a LOT of factors that can make or break a possible relationship.0 -
No.
The answer is no.
If you are a "man", you need to have a job.
blaming the economy is a cop out plain and simple. Jobs are out there. They might be sucky jobs but, they are jobs nontheless.
Oh, and the only excuse for a man not knowing how to drive is ifhe was born and raised in New York city or on Gilligans Island.
That's what I'm saying... If you need to work at McDonald's until something better comes along... hey at least it's a job! You can always keep looking for a better job if you are not happy with that job.
As far as not driving goes... a lot of them know how to drive... but lots of DUI's... I live right across the river from Missouri
Well from teh sounds of things you need to 1) move 2) change your profile or 3) accept what you can find with your requirements/area.0 -
If you are a "man", you need to have a job.
blaming the economy is a cop out plain and simple. Jobs are out there. They might be sucky jobs but, they are jobs nontheless.
If a guy has some crappy job while he looks for a good one, I'm cool with that.
Yep - out of college I lived with my parents for a grand total of 5 weeks - that was how long it took me to find a job. During that 5 weeks I went to a temp agency and picked up a job (started 1 day after I interviewed there) driving a forklift for the night shift at a recycling plant - literally moving peoples trash around a smelly factory for $9 an hour in Davenport, IA. I did not want to work there - but I needed to pay bills as I am not one to rely on others. 5 Weeks later I moved to Des Moines and started my real job (where I still work today) and make a very good living for a single 29 year old. There is no reason to not have a job - as mentioned by previous posters - there are jobs, perhaps crappy ones, but they exist. Its more about work ethic and paying your bills, and less about making a huge amount of money. $7.50 an hour is better than $0 an hour and creating a strain for whomever you are mooching off of.
I am also in the Midwest so I can respect the need for someone to own some sort of transportation. Outside of Chicago, you are essentially stranded without a vehicle.0 -
If there is a guy working at Mc Ds and he is either still looking or he is in school, I respect that 1000, times more then the guy sitting around the house.No.
The answer is no.
If you are a "man", you need to have a job.
blaming the economy is a cop out plain and simple. Jobs are out there. They might be sucky jobs but, they are jobs nontheless.
Oh, and the only excuse for a man not knowing how to drive is ifhe was born and raised in New York city or on Gilligans Island.
That's what I'm saying... If you need to work at McDonald's until something better comes along... hey at least it's a job! You can always keep looking for a better job if you are not happy with that job.
As far as not driving goes... a lot of them know how to drive... but lots of DUI's... I live right across the river from Missouri
And seriously, if someone is not driving because of lots of DUI's, then that also might be a bad choice in a boyfriend.0 -
If you are a "man", you need to have a job.
blaming the economy is a cop out plain and simple. Jobs are out there. They might be sucky jobs but, they are jobs nontheless.
If a guy has some crappy job while he looks for a good one, I'm cool with that.
Yep - out of college I lived with my parents for a grand total of 5 weeks - that was how long it took me to find a job. During that 5 weeks I went to a temp agency and picked up a job (started 1 day after I interviewed there) driving a forklift for the night shift at a recycling plant - literally moving peoples trash around a smelly factory for $9 an hour in Davenport, IA. I did not want to work there - but I needed to pay bills as I am not one to rely on others. 5 Weeks later I moved to Des Moines and started my real job (where I still work today) and make a very good living for a single 29 year old. There is no reason to not have a job - as mentioned by previous posters - there are jobs, perhaps crappy ones, but they exist. Its more about work ethic and paying your bills, and less about making a huge amount of money. $7.50 an hour is better than $0 an hour and creating a strain for whomever you are mooching off of.
I am also in the Midwest so I can respect the need for someone to own some sort of transportation. Outside of Chicago, you are essentially stranded without a vehicle.
I went to High School in Davenport! We are neighbors!0 -
There is so much leniency here...oh my gosh. Don't listen to them! You are worth a guy with a job, a car, and the general impression of kinda-sorta having his **** together, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that!0
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Well from teh sounds of things you need to 1) move 2) change your profile or 3) accept what you can find with your requirements/area.
Ha. I was just about to say that. Sounds like the OP lives in an area that breeds these fine examples of men. I think moving sounds like the best course of action here.0 -
Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
Meh, I've...
1) Got a good job
2) Have a nice new car
3) Lived on my own since I was 21 and have owned my own home since I was 22
and I can't buy a date.0 -
I think the REALLY interesting part is that it seems so many more men than women are in that group. Why is it that young women seem more interested in being independent than men of their same age? -- Fascinating.
Oh, and my girlfriends who are in their 30's and dating have definitely seen this trend, to answer your question. For my generation (I'm 49), there was still a responsibility gap back in the day -- men seemed more prone to under-employment, driving beater cars and living in crap apartments with 47 roommates than women were -- but we all had some sort of job and none of us were living with our parents for more than a couple of months as a stop-gap in a dire emergency. Still, the women I knew then were financially more stable at a younger age than their male counterparts. Seems that much hasn't changed.
Be careful not to stereotype by gender - what applies to one not necessarily to another. In my group of friends acquaintences it is quite the opposite.0 -
Maybe try getting away from online dating sites, and join forums YOU enjoy (a hobby) or play an online game. I met my boyfriend of 2yrs + on an online game we both enjoyed, not an online dating site.
He's getting his phd and we just bought a flat. Pretty much the opposite of dating site material
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I don't think folks are losers for falling on hard times but honestly I wouldn't date them either.0
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Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
HA! sorry to laugh. Not at you but this is/has been my experience too. So sad. Very jealous of the rents out there. Good luck.0 -
Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
Oh and you are perfect, no issues what so ever? You aren't up to your eyeballs in debt over handbag shopping and make overs? No illegitimate children, drug or alcohol addictions, chronic partying or perhaps you sleep around?
You just generalized a vast portion of the world population based on your experience in Hicks-ville. Maybe you meet "losers" because they are all you deserve at this point until you grow up and stop being so judgemental on others. Examine yourself completely before you start to judge others. See how easy it is, I just did it to the entire female population like you did on men0 -
who cares if they drive a car????
Bike commuter in the house!0 -
Anyone else out there still in the dating world? How about online dating?
Probably 80% of the guys I meet/chat with either.
1. Don't have a job
2. Don't have, or can't drive a car
3. Still live at home with their parents
or a combination thereof...
Most of the guys I'm dating are early 30s... I'm not going after 22 year olds fresh out of college here. Plus I live in the midwest... cost of living is really not terrible... The average 1bdrm apt costs about $400/mo.
I'm not saying that you need to be C.E.O of a major corporation here... and I'm really not trying to be hard on those people who really did recently get laid off and are a little hard on their luck... but come on, am I being unreasonable to expect them to be able to function on their own as a normal adult at this point in their lives?
Has anyone else noticed this to be the rule rather than the exception lately? or is it just guys in my area?
Oh and you are perfect, no issues what so ever? You aren't up to your eyeballs in debt over handbag shopping and make overs? No illegitimate children, drug or alcohol addictions, chronic partying or perhaps you sleep around?
You just generalized a vast portion of the world population based on your experience in Hicks-ville. Maybe you meet "losers" because they are all you deserve at this point until you grow up and stop being so judgemental on others. Examine yourself completely before you start to judge others. See how easy it is, I just did it to the entire female population like you did on men
Someone pee in your coffee this morning...?0
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