Dumped

135

Replies

  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
    Keep yourself distracted. When I got dumped I channeled that energy into working out and I got mad and lost a lot of weight. Also, you can go and hang out with friends. Go walking together or shopping. If you have to eat try Super Salad. It's delicious. Try homemade shakes. Good luck with that. I'm sure you will find someone else. Find someone with similar goals. This is opening the door to new opportunities.
  • msuhsm
    msuhsm Posts: 1
    Congrats on your 5K!! That is awesome. If you have a hobby, spend some time doing that. Go out to a movie with friends, read a good book, take a class to learn something you have always wanted to and pamper yourself!!
  • samlankford
    samlankford Posts: 334
    go shopping, eat some sushi, enjoy having the bed to yourself!! :bigsmile:
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    You're already doing great as you've not gone back to your old ways for this situation....keep going you'll get through this and be damn hot too!!
  • hiddensmiles21
    hiddensmiles21 Posts: 91
    After a breakup i get a second job... that way im too busy to deal with the drama and i have extra cash.

    I've done this too. It was always helpful to be with people who didn't know about the break-up and just kept me busy. Don't turn to food or booze, neither of them make you happy afterwards. [voice of experience here!]

    It takes time to heal, my thoughts are with you.

    Oh and... CONGRATS ON THE 5K!!!!!
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    It might help to ponder these two things:

    1. There are about 6.7 billion people in the world and approximately 2.4 billion of them are single adults; and
    2. If those 2.4 billion single adults stood in a line, it would take about 76 years to count them all.
  • shadoewz
    shadoewz Posts: 46
    You have been hurt by someone else, so don't hurt yourself, too. Sometimes it's hard, but it truly is important to love yourself and care for yourself just as if you were your own little kid. Be your own best friend!

    If all else fails, get some sugar-free fat-free substitutes for your favorite comfort food, and go to town ;)

    I'm sorry that happened to you, but if someone leaves you when you are trying to do things to improve yourself, it's probably for the best that they are gone.
  • SheilaN1976
    SheilaN1976 Posts: 266 Member
    You have come so far, you are half way to your goal. Don't stop, don't give up. Go out and spoil yourself. be sad, be angry, be mad at him. It is his loss, not yours. Pamper yourself with a manicure or pedi or massage or GNO or something.

    what he said!!!!!!!
  • sclangley
    sclangley Posts: 8
    While being 'dumped' is not the same as losing someone to death is can hurt just as bad. Like with all loss you need to mourn and everyone does that differently. Being an emotional eater myself I have to be very careful of the things I surround myself.....bad food....destructive people....etc.

    Whether the breakup was about you or not it is all about you now. People do a lot less damage to us than we do to ourselves. I am my own worst enemy and I have to tell myself all day everyday with EVERY decision I make 'I am worth it. I deserve the best of every situation'. I don't always believe it but I say it anyway.

    Find a punching bag and picture it as your old self. Work away at all the negative that is rising from this situation. Time is a great healer but when you are heart broken time has a way of standing still. Make the best of it while you wait.
  • yeahforme
    yeahforme Posts: 18 Member
    Obviously he feels insecure because you are now sooo secure...some folks have a hard time understanding the perks that come along with a strong, confident woman who worked very hard to make herself that way. Have a big drink and do something you absolutely love to do. Plan a vacation - visit a friend you haven't seen in a while - and if Ben and Jerry happen to invite themselves along, take a log walk and thank them for helping you through.

    Like Gloria Gainer (sp?) you will soon be singing..."I will survive...!"
  • vmekash
    vmekash Posts: 422 Member
    Sign up for another race, and focus on your training for that. Time and distraction will heal the wound.
    Congrats on your first 5K!
  • Chgosportsgal
    Chgosportsgal Posts: 38
    My boyfriend left me for someone else 2 years ago. Sadly, that's part of the reason that led to my depression and endless eating. But if it happened today..I KNOW I would handle it much better! Give yourself a good cry and get it out of your system! Right now working out isn't helping because this just happened. Give yourself time to grieve, be pissed off..all that.

    But these affirmations helped me. He dumped me..it's his loss. He wasn't meant for me...there is someone better out there. Plus, I don't want anyone who doesn't want me. You're on a road to a new life with your weight loss, maybe this guy wouldn't be able to handle it. I can tell you right now, my old boyfriend would no way in hell be able to handle the person I am today from 2 years ago. I know it's very, very hard to see it now, but this is a blessing in disguise. Keep your chin up..you're a GODDESS !!
  • jesseyluvspurple
    jesseyluvspurple Posts: 3 Member
    I tell my teenage kids this ( I tell myself too when I need to): every heart break hurts worse than the last. But when you fall in live again, it will feel better than the last as well. Remember the good times, learn from the not so good times. Think about what you really want in a partner and what are deal breakers. Do some things for yourself. Be selfish for a change. Hold your head up high, you are a strong, smart and beautiful woman. Transform yourself into who YOU want to be and your confidence will shine through and when YOU choose to be ready again, the right man will come along. We are ALL here to support you!
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    His loss
  • Chelsrf
    Chelsrf Posts: 194 Member
    Do things for yourself that make you happy... mani/pedi, massage, new outfit, etc. Talk to friends and/or go for a run to clear your mind. I agree with the other posters though do not go back to him.
  • Scarlett_S
    Scarlett_S Posts: 467 Member
    don't give up. You look fantastic. Keep yourself busy. Call someone when you feel like eating. Get a therapist if you can and you have the time to go. Stick to your routine.

    This too shall pass.
  • tessex
    tessex Posts: 15 Member
    Just remember " this too shall pass" and good job with the 5k just keep up the good work for you. Hang in there!!
  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
    I have not been through all of the posts so I do not know if this has been suggested-

    Treat yourself to a day about YOU. Get your hair done, get a pedicure, manicure, massage (whatever sounds good)-go shopping....treat yourself to a healthy dinner and a glass of wine (or *makey happy* beverage of your choice)...go to a movie...

    By the way, these are all things I've done after a breakup or a bad day...

    On the opposite end, do something for someone else! Go to your local animal shelter and take a dog for a walk (pets have as profound an impact on your mood as antidepressant medication :) ), clean out your wardrobe of clothes that are too big for you and donate them to a local charity...

    Lastly, remind yourself you deserve better...even if he was not a bad guy (I am not going to make a judgement), you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and who enhances your life...why settle?

    Cheer up, Charlie :(

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95P1P6t9dAw
  • rotill
    rotill Posts: 244 Member
    A really through work-out will get your endorphines flowing, and you'll feel better. And if you don't feel better, you'll be so tired, it doesn't matter, and if you cry you can tell yourself it isn't over his sorry *kitten*, but because you're tired and hurting. Also - working out like crazy while keeping your diet will give you energy, make you look awesome, and give you the strength and confidence to go back out and find the right guy, when you're ready for it.

    Go Go Go!
  • CyclngChick
    CyclngChick Posts: 57 Member
    I'm sooo sorry you were dumped, but you are beautiful and you will find someone even better! Don't worry about it, just focus on yourself and someone amazing will come along!!!
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    honesty is beautiful, isn't it? i'm SO sorry for your pain and for your loss. but it's probably for the best. there's someone better out there for you and you will be at your best when you meet that person! we are here and we believe in you. i was dumped after only four months, but it felt like forever. so i can't even imagine four years. but you are strong!
  • knittermom07
    knittermom07 Posts: 94 Member
    Go workout and take all your frustrations out on the pavement, or machine, or weight bench or floor, whatever it is that you like to workout with! It's a great stress reliever!
  • sdonovan96
    sdonovan96 Posts: 46 Member
    Agreed!! Just means he wasn't the right one for you!! The right one WILL come and will benefit from the other guys loss. Don't settle! :)
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
    First of all, I am sorry to hear this. I am going through the same thing. Well, almost. After almost 4 years, my fiancee called off our wedding about a month before the date. So believe me, I understand how you feel. But here is the thing, there is NO CONNECTION between Heartbreak and Food. NONE!!! I don't know who was the person that started that connection but whoever it was should have been given a beating.

    Now, if you look at my profile pic, I am in decent shape. Do you think I am going to go out there and drink myself to a coma and loss my shape while my partner is having a good old time????? Is it worth it? Hell no it's not. Take exercise as your medicine for heartbreak. It should make you work out harder. Take it on the weights, cardio or whatever you do.

    I also suggest you check the following site:

    lovesagame.com

    It has helped me tremendously. I also suggest you take a trip somewhere. I just came back from a 17 day trip. I traveled and spent time alone. Yes, I was alone but I met tons of people along the way. It will help you clear up your mind. Things will be a little easier when you come back.

    In any case, don't throw your results over a guy. Look, it hurts but they are the ones who decided that the relationship was not worth their time. I am sure that in time, you will meet a nice guy that will stick around. Don't sweat it. Life is too short.

    In the end, it's not whether or not he is the right guy for you... the relationship as a whole took that direction. It's no one's fault. Go to the site and you will get some help. Don't settle for the thinking: "his fault" "he's not the right one.." All of that is crap. It takes to people to screw up a relationship. Things happen. Now, pick up the pieces and move forward. You will find a guy.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    Just talking will do wonders. Just processing your feelings and getting things out will let you heal and move on. Also just give it time. It will begin to hurt less as time passes. Just visualize how good it will feel to know that you are staying on your fitness path and think about when you run into him a few years later how salty he will be when he sees how hot you are and what a sexier boyfriend you got after him! lol
  • triinityz
    triinityz Posts: 146 Member
    Walk up to him, punch him in the face as hard as you can and then go out with your girls for a drunken girls night out and get some! Hmmmm... maybe that's what I did... it did work for me though!

    You won't feel like this forever, it will get better, just stay distracted by positive things and people.
  • bhoffe01
    bhoffe01 Posts: 15 Member
    Last weekend was one of the best I ever had. I completed my first 5K, which was first on my bucket list.

    Today, I got dumped after being together for 4 years.

    Ouch.

    The old me would immediately go home, get in my sweats along with my old pals Ben and Jerry and eat myself into a coma.

    I will NOT do that this time. I have come too far, worked too hard, accomplished too much to revert back to my old ways and a pint with a spoon.

    So....any advice on how to get past this without food? I worked out and that didn't really help. At this point, I am open to any suggestions.

    This sucks y'all. :frown:
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    My heart breaks for you. Find something new to focus on. Train for a 10K, start lifting weights, train for a triathalon, take a fun class, get in your BEST SHAPE ever for the upcoming holidays. Set a new goal and put all of your effort into it. By the time you reach it, oh what's his name won't even matter anymore :)
  • Kimmer03
    Kimmer03 Posts: 48 Member
    I've been in this boat (as have many women) and I found it comforting and somewhat empowering to be the "heroine" in my own life. After a breakup from a long relationship (4 years!!) its nice to rediscover yourself for the one and only person who will always be with you. I do not say "you are alone" I say "you are with you". So take this time to keep the exercise going, keep your chin up, and treat yourself to things that your ex maybe couldn't do. After one of my breakups, I realized I didn't have to financially support or coexist with this other person and set aside the extra money to buy myself emerald earrings, go to the spa and plan a big vacation. If you do it right, perhaps you can plan your vacation around a location you've never been before and plan it for a time there is a 5k in that area. Do a funky sort of exercise-related activity like the Color Me Rad run or Dirty Dash. Buy yourself flowers once a week and put them on your bedside table. You deserve to be good to you. :)
  • seanorawe
    seanorawe Posts: 137 Member
    Go out and bang all around you

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