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  • Beewallows
    Beewallows Posts: 110 Member
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    Join a kickboxing class :) Pretend the bag is him :p that's always helped me, and besides, it is an amazing workout.
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
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    Girl, I know how you feel. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

    What helps me is hitting the gym (honest!). I can't tell you how many negative emotions I've run off and beat out of punching bag. It really does make you feel better. Endorphins from exercise are just lovely. :wink:

    Then go get your nails done or go shopping! Just pamper yourself for a day. You will get through this. Getting out of the wrong relationship just brings you closer to the right one!

    Hang in there girl. :flowerforyou:
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    Talk it out... keep a journal, write a blog, find a support group, go to a good dinner with supportive friends.
    Work it out - run, walk, swim, SWEAT - every time you want to eat, find something else to do.
    Take up a hobby - fill your hands with crafts, books, games, or art instead of food.
    Feed your soul - yoga, sleep, therapy (if desired), and church if it's your thing.

    Just some thoughts -I've had a rough year with my husband's health and these are some things I do. If you slip and binge, forgive yourself and move on to the next day.

    These are all excellent ideas. I was also in a 4 year relationship...while leaving was my choice, it didn't make the pain any less. I can tell you that it does get better--that relationship is 8 years behind me and getting out of it was the right thing to do, so I have no regrets. Anyway, one of the things I did at the time was to start volunteering for several different charities, including an animal shelter and a dog rescue group. If you don't have pets of your own--animals give unconditional love and most shelters/organizations can really use the help.

    It will get better!

    Best wishes,
    Ellen
  • mcarrillo5167
    mcarrillo5167 Posts: 9 Member
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    Be glad you don't have to waste time with someone whose not worth it! Move on and focus on you. If it's meant to be, it'll be meant to be. For a guy to do that when you're losing weight just shows what kind of support system he is and would be later on down the road. Keep up the good work and stay focused! Believe me, I lost my figure as soon as I started dating my husband.
  • abnerner
    abnerner Posts: 452 Member
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    I have to say I'm so proud that you made the decision not to have a love making session with Ben and Jerry. Their threesomes aren't worth it.

    Now, go do something for yourself, hair, nails, massage, pedi, something and than get some friends together and laugh!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I agree with the idea to keep yourself as busy as you can stand. Check out your local adult ed courses (this one might even help you meet new friends which is always good), join a new exercise class you always wanted to try, go see that movie he didn't care to see, go shopping, hang out with your girlfriends... I even like the idea of finding a 2nd job - not only does it fill your time but you can make some extra bucks to stash away for the new clothes you're going to need and/or a trip you can take with some friends.

    And if you're just at home and feel that temptation to eat because your bored and lonely and sad - stop yourself and go for a walk or take a bath or do your nails or scrapbook or pick up that good book you've been meaning to finish or call a friend or whatever it takes to get your mind of it.

    Good luck to you!
  • bsuew
    bsuew Posts: 628 Member
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    Do something special for yourself that doesn't include food. Hair cut, mani/pedi, do something that you really enjoy, call a friend and go out and walk the mall. It won't take away the hurt and rejection but with time and friends you can get thru it. Friend me if you'd like!
  • redmamacita
    redmamacita Posts: 43 Member
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    think about how awesome you are and make a list of everything you love about yourself. celebrate that list. celebrate your accomplishments and enlist friends and loved ones to help you celebrate what you are proud of.

    never for a moment doubt yourself. he may not see what is awesome about you, but there are plenty others in your life who do. focus on that. he left your life so you could make room for someone who will love and celebrate your awesome along with you.

    and go for a long, sweaty run; (and/or) lift some heavy weights! lifting heavy always makes me feel powerful and in control. it might help with your feelings right now.

    and also, this
    http://img.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/when-Im-sad-I-stop-being-sad-and-be-awesome-instead.jpg
  • Starlightbella
    Starlightbella Posts: 77 Member
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    I'm soo sorry :sad: There has been some great advice on here like getting a hair cut ( I don't know why but that always seems to make me feel better) Realizing that this too will pass. One other thing I always say to myself may sound juvenile but it really helps
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
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    Looks like you are a runner. RUN him down on the treadmill. Get some mad tunes and run till you are laughing. That may take weeks..... but think about it, the more you run the more you can afford a ben and jerry night. (I still have them in my life, I just pre-earn them.)
    Sorry for your hurt. But you are worth more than being with someone that doesn't appreciate you.
    Keep running, and you will bump into something better.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
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    I'm sorry. I know that the only thing that will make the pain go away is time.
    I agree that some pampering is in order. Haircut, mani/pedi, massage, some new clothes or perfume...whatever will remind you that you are beautiful (YOU ARE!)
    And maybe next time you go workout, look around and notice the other guys out there who are noticing you. Not to jump back into any sort of relationship so soon, but just to remind yourself that there is a big world of possibilities out there.
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
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    I'm sorry :( Hugs!

    Maybe take a class or a start doing things with a new hobby you are interested with your free time now... You will have fun, it will take your mind off of it, and you might meet some awesome people!
  • LittleMissRainey
    LittleMissRainey Posts: 440 Member
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    THEIR LOSS!

    You're fabulous, and deserve better. :flowerforyou:
  • SilviCor
    SilviCor Posts: 110 Member
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    Because looking good is the BEST revenge! :-)
  • mikee007
    mikee007 Posts: 94 Member
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    He dumped you!! is he madd you are beautiful:smile: l better off without him stick to your goals his loss Mikee xx
  • scoutmom22
    scoutmom22 Posts: 17
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    my experience is that some men - HA! MANY men - can not deal with a woman's success. my marriage started to deteriorate after 10 years because I had worked my way to the skinniest I had ever been in my adult life (AND had run my first 5k!!!). we didn't make it, because he refused to accept any responsibility for himself. now i'm back here to work off (PERMAMENTLY) everything i gained after that happened.

    TOTALLY keep your chin up, know how much better you feel in your new you! my advice is to go with some calories for red wine and get a pedicure. ;)
  • Colli78
    Colli78 Posts: 135
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    Holy Crap! I went into a meeting and when I came out this post had gone nutso!

    I have read each and every response and I honestly wish I could take you all out and buy you a drink. Or some work out gear. Or some hummus. Or something. Jeez! You guys totally rock!

    There is no way I will ever be able to thank you enough! I am honestly floored by the support here. I think I just might love you all. :love:
  • PJmetts
    PJmetts Posts: 210 Member
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    I love all the suggestions, I just want to add my little one, think of it as him setting you "FREE" Many men are threatened by our success (even my hubby does little things to sabotage my success, I know he doesn't mean to, but I have to be watchful!)
    You are now FREE to be YOU and continue on your journey to success and happiness. I am sorry this is so painful, been there, done that.....and the only way is to go Through it. We all care and believe in YOU! {{ Hugs}}
  • Joyfullykelli
    Joyfullykelli Posts: 9
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    I feel you! All these people here with their wonderful advice. All I can tell you is what not to do...I was really successful with mfp and exercise durring the beginning of the year. I was down 30 lbs in 3 months when my husband left me for another woman and within the last 5 months I've put almost all of it back on. I really tried at first to stay on track but his continual extravagant lies beat me into a pulp and left me unable to function. So here I am back at the beginning of the struggle wishing I hadn't done the back slide. Don't do it! You've come so far already!

    Wishing you all the best in your journey!
  • BARBY1956
    BARBY1956 Posts: 51
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    I'm sorry you have to go thru this. Several years ago I went through a bad divorce. I put Christina Aguilera
    song "Fighter" as my ringtone on my phone. I listened to it whenever I started feeling sad.


    Makes me that much stronger
    Makes me work a little bit harder
    It makes me that much wiser
    So thanks for making me a fighter
    Made me learn a little bit faster
    Made my skin a little bit thicker
    Makes me that much smarter
    So thanks for making me a fighter

    Wishing you the best....:wink:

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