Do you have THOSE friends...
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This is why I'm kind of indifferent to the "friends" feature on this site. This isn't Facebook. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to lose weight. I track my food, get advice and encouragement when needed from the message boards, and go on my merry way. I don't really need someone checking my food diary or patting me on the back because I made it to the gym.
Encouragement from others is great, but I've learned I'm much more happier with myself and my progress when I motivate MYSELF. Because my opinion of who I am and what I'm doing is really all that matters.
Amen.
(And if I ever actually sent FRs, I'd send one to you.)0 -
Have you requested your friends to support you. Maybe you should be mor vocal about what you need from them. Tell them you would like more support when you burn those extra calories or when your under your calorie goal. Those things ARE very important. I think if you tell your friends what you need, they will either give it to you or delete you. Either way supportive friends will rise to the top0
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I delete as well and agree this is NOT facebook. We are here to support each other and give suggestions etc... Not a one way street. I give and encourage as it should be. Not just me me me....ROFL0
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I don't typically have those types of people on my list. There are a few people doing the same thing I am (Couch to 5K) and I enjoy the back and forth commenting about that. I don't see the point in keeping people on here who aren't supportive so I'd just delete those who you never hear from, honestly.0
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This is why I'm kind of indifferent to the "friends" feature on this site. This isn't Facebook. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to lose weight. I track my food, get advice and encouragement when needed from the message boards, and go on my merry way. I don't really need someone checking my food diary or patting me on the back because I made it to the gym.
You know whats funny - is I thought this for a long time - BUT as I have made more friends and become supportive to them and they to me AND have met several of them in person and plan to meet more in person I really think I would have quit by now - Its a damn motivating factor for me to be know people are looking at what Im eating wondering if Im exercising ANF it gets my *kitten* to the gym because as mush as I dont want to disappoint myself - I also want to hear them cheering me on and pushing me to be the best I can be - so the "friends" feature is really what keeps me coming back every day - and they show me their boobs so that helps too!0 -
No, all my friends are badass, even if they don't comment on any of my posts. I know that they're supportive without having to comment all the time.0
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That you always try and support every day but they never support you back? I have 20 friends on my list...and I always take a few minutes every time im on to say a good word on their diarys, exercise and posts...and I only have 2 who are supportive back! Its just irritating me, its like the take and take and dont give back.
I understand if the working people cant comment every day...but at least a few times a week...but I get nothing from these other people ever. Does this irritate you?
Feel free to add me....might as well make it an even 210 -
I think it's about giving where you feel like it... and receiving without expectations. I mean, sure... if you have people who never or rarely talk, then that can be a drag. But sometimes people are just really busy with work and life... and sometimes there are people I find worth following even though they can't comment often.
But most importantly... give without expectations of receiving.
Maybe you need to find more friends... and more compatible friends. There are lots of awesome people on here.0 -
I feel you...I post something for everyone everyday. I rarely hear anything but then again, I have a couple that do post everyday and somehow takes slack for the losers...lol...0
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This is why I'm kind of indifferent to the "friends" feature on this site. This isn't Facebook. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to lose weight. I track my food, get advice and encouragement when needed from the message boards, and go on my merry way. I don't really need someone checking my food diary or patting me on the back because I made it to the gym.
Encouragement from others is great, but I've learned I'm much more happier with myself and my progress when I motivate MYSELF. Because my opinion of who I am and what I'm doing is really all that matters.
That first sentence makes me sad.
No this is not Facebook, but let me tell ya - I have made some amazing friends on this site that are there every day to encourage me, push me past limits I didn't know I had, comfort me on my bad days, kick me in the *kitten* when I need a push, chat with me when Im bored and so much more. There are only a handful of friends on my FL that I know in real life, and all the others have been through this site only. I tried the other day to clean my friends list and only had to get rid of 3!!
So while this site does not replace FB - I adore my FL because they each have their own story and are there for me when I need them!! Don't discount the friends you can make on this site. I've come to realize the support here can be far greater than what I get in real life!!0 -
I am probably one of those friends I don't comment nearly as much as others.0
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I have those friends too!! You can feel free to add me, I trying to be as supportive as I can to all my friends...in real life and on MFP :happy:0
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Doesn't bother me....I know how busy folks can be0
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It could almost be a damned if you do or damn if you do situation too. MFP'ers could be mad that a friend is always commenting or that a MFP'er is not commenting enough. I know I try to comment on each and every person's posting. Feel free to add me if you'd like.0
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I usually delete them if I comment on all of their stuff, and don't get so much as a "good job" in return... No, I don't "need" the support, but it sure is nice! Feel free to add me!
Same here. DELETE. If you haven't made 1 single comment on any of my activities since we've been friends, I have no problem deleting you. Doesn't mean you have to comment every time or every day, but at least occasionally since I go through my friend feed and attempt to support everyone. Feels good to delete those who aren't returning the favor. And who cares, their not friends in real life anyway... Chances are, if they weren't supporting you, they won't even know who deleted them.0 -
I have those in real life. Lol
^^haha me too! & OP you just need some new friends who want the same things as you in terms of support and communication. I keep my list to about 3 pages and all of my mfp friends are super supportive. I delete people who request me and never comment. It's a personal choice.0 -
i try to say something to my friends every day, I am on twice a day and checkin with others.
Please add me if you want.0 -
Nope... I delete those that don't support! So off they go.0
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I get tons of support from my MFP friends, and I try my hardest to support them back. I have removed a few for not logging in after a month or 2. They can send me new requests if they decide to come back.0
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I have no expectations. If you support me, fine. If not, fine too. I'm not looking for validation or a pat on the back.0
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That you always try and support every day but they never support you back? I have 20 friends on my list...and I always take a few minutes every time im on to say a good word on their diarys, exercise and posts...and I only have 2 who are supportive back! Its just irritating me, its like the take and take and dont give back. I understand if the working people cant comment every day...but at least a few times a week...but I get nothing from these other people ever. Does this irritate you?
I have a decent number of "friends" on here, and a lot of them have friended me based on comments I made on the boards. I think they friend me because I have had great results. I cheer them on and reply to their postings all the time. I have two, maybe three, people who do the same for me. I try not to take it personally or get annoyed; I think it's because maybe they think since I have done so well that I don't need the encouragement. The people who do comment are the ones who are also far along in their journeys, so maybe that's why I hear from them, because they are kind of in the same boat as I am.
I take the time to encourage everyone as much as I can and take their lack of response to my updates in stride. Maybe they just need to focus on themselves and only need me for motivation, and if that's what makes them successful, then so be it. I'm happy to help.0 -
This is why I'm kind of indifferent to the "friends" feature on this site. This isn't Facebook. I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to lose weight. I track my food, get advice and encouragement when needed from the message boards, and go on my merry way. I don't really need someone checking my food diary or patting me on the back because I made it to the gym.
Encouragement from others is great, but I've learned I'm much more happier with myself and my progress when I motivate MYSELF. Because my opinion of who I am and what I'm doing is really all that matters.
^^^EXACTLY!
Perfectly said!0 -
I only really comment if I have something to say and/or if I catch a status. Often times if I haven't commented it's simply because I missed a status of yours that was important and/or I just didn't know what to say.
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I personally don't need lots of support on certain things. I actually don't even have my feed set up to post when I finish my diary or when I work out. I don't really need support on that end. I give them to my friends here and there but I don't sweat it every time. What I do need is communication. If I post a comment, it's nice for people to interact back with me. That works both ways if they post. If we never talk to each other, why bother to remain on the FL? If we never communicate or it's a one way street...I delete. MFP is more than just about fitness to some of us. We talk about all kinds of stuff and get to know each other personally. I actually prefer to be friends with people on here that I don't know as opposed to IRL. It's nice to say what you feel or vent without repercussions. On FB, I feel like I need to watch what I say. I also have a hard time deleting IRL friends even when I know I should. I have made some friends on here that I truly cherish and hopefully you can find some like that for yourself.0
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PS: I was always taught to give without ever expecting anything in return. I was taught that when we do this we are happy when we receive nothing in return and DELIGHTED when we DO receive something in return, because it's an unexpected gift.
Just sayin'. Maybe it's time to start giving without expecting to receive in return.0 -
Yeah, I usually just friend people if I like their comments on posts (i.e. they're funny), they have something to teach me about nutrition or exercise, or if we have something in common. I don't tend to get to worked up on whether or not they support me walking my dog and what not. Still though, I can understand it's nice to have the encouragement. Maybe just unfriend them and find some other. No shortage of encouraging people on this site. 0
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You will be far happier if you just continue to do what makes you feel good. If you like to comment, do so. But you really can't expect that to be payment for comments in return. Life doesn't work that way, and you set yourself up for disappointment by expecting people to act the way you think they should.0
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When I first started here about a year ago, I would sit and watch my feed way too much. Now I comment when I happen to see something stream by that catches my interest. Some of my friends here never comment on anything I have to say, but they have interesting statuses, or we were closer sometime in the past, so I like holding onto them.0
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As long as they long in occasionally, post something funny or rude or entertaining, and send naked pictures, what else do you need?
Where do I find the naked pictures?? lol0 -
That you always try and support every day but they never support you back? I have 20 friends on my list...and I always take a few minutes every time im on to say a good word on their diarys, exercise and posts...and I only have 2 who are supportive back! Its just irritating me, its like the take and take and dont give back. I understand if the working people cant comment every day...but at least a few times a week...but I get nothing from these other people ever. Does this irritate you?
I signed up in august of 2011 and lost 35lbs without adding any friends. About 4 months ago, I thought maybe it would be nice to add some friends I had lots of people in my friend request list. I kept it to about between 8 and 10. some I deleted over that time because they never logged in for a while and I added new ones. I got into the same mindset as them and got stuck with the weight loss.
Last week I deleted myself and started all over because I truly find it so much easier to do this thing alone, since then I have lost another 3lbs.
At the end of the day, for me, I got fed up of supporting people that never supported back they only added comments like `nice` wtg` `good job`
do what works for you! I feel so much better not having the `friend thing` going on0
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