URGENT Mother in Law

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MarySunshine70
MarySunshine70 Posts: 118
in Chit-Chat
I have a grueling 3 hours until lunch with my mother in law. I barely slept last night because of the stress. I want to keep out of the @#$%%%^ field that I usually step in - and avoid saying potentially offensive things.
Also - I NEEEEEED TO LAUGH.
What are some of the things I should NOT say?

Here's the one I thought of: "Well that's not the craziest thing you've ever said to me."
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  • jporte
    jporte Posts: 164 Member
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    Smile and nod and say please and thank you. Just as long as you don't agree to anything crazy.
  • specialkyc
    specialkyc Posts: 384 Member
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    Wish I could help, but my mother in law is NUTS...total wack job. I wouldn't dare go to lunch with her. :noway: You, my dear, are brave. :drinker: I have a very hard time biting my tongue, so if I ever went to lunch with her there's a good possibility that she would never want to speak to me, my husband or my children again. It wouldn't hurt my feelings any, but I have to think about the rest of my family.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    Least said, soonest mended. Just smile and nod a lot :smile: Good luck!
  • Nix143
    Nix143 Posts: 522 Member
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    Don't do what I do - which is get sooooooo wound up and nervous about not being 'up to par' that I become super awkward - and so when we come to do the obligatory 'hello, how are you hug?' I ALWAYS get my arms wrong - do we, don't we hug? - and I end up holding their boobs. Yup, my hands develop a mind of their own , I aim too high and instead of hands on the waist, it's hands in the boobage area.

    And the more I try not to do it the more insane my arms become.

    Doofus.
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
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    I only spend time with my mother in law when my huband is there. She's too much to handle for one person, but she's also crazy...
  • rubyautumn4
    rubyautumn4 Posts: 818 Member
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    I spend alot of time inanely chatting about the weather...
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Hah! I got lucky. My mother in law is sweet. My brother, well... he was not so lucky. So you've got a 50/50 chance from where I'm sitting. Good luck!
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    Least said, soonest mended. Just smile and nod a lot :smile: Good luck!

    ^This.

    I'm not on bad terms with my MIL, but we're not really close, either. It stresses me out when I have to see her because I feel like I have to be so fake. I guess she's just not my kind of person, and she can say things that are rather backhanded, but she's not bad-natured like that. I just think she can be clueless sometimes as to how some things she says can be interpreted. It's not just me, either; my other SILs get it, too. I just smile and nod, let it roll off my back, and try to remember that her intentions are always good. However I always have a nice but semi-snarky comeback to any inappropriate questions (like when are we having more kids/how many more kids are we having/do I plan to lose more weight).

    Just breathe, and remember that in less than 24 hours it will be over.
  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
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    "You know, I saw a great home on the way here today that you'd love. I hear they have a few vacancies left for extreme cases."

    "Wanted to thank you for being such a great role model. Now I know everything not to do."

    "So what poison did you drink to make you look like that? "
  • MarySunshine70
    MarySunshine70 Posts: 118
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    Don't do what I do - which is get sooooooo wound up and nervous about not being 'up to par' that I become super awkward - and so when we come to do the obligatory 'hello, how are you hug?' I ALWAYS get my arms wrong - do we, don't we hug? - and I end up holding their boobs. Yup, my hands develop a mind of their own , I aim too high and instead of hands on the waist, it's hands in the boobage area.

    And the more I try not to do it the more insane my arms become.

    Doofus.
    Yep - thanks for the laugh!
  • MarySunshine70
    MarySunshine70 Posts: 118
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    It stresses me out when I have to see her because I feel like I have to be so fake. I guess she's just not my kind of person, and she can say things that are rather backhanded, but she's not bad-natured like that. I just think she can be clueless sometimes as to how some things she says can be interpreted.
    this
  • MarySunshine70
    MarySunshine70 Posts: 118
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    "You know, I saw a great home on the way here today that you'd love. I hear they have a few vacancies left for extreme cases."

    "Wanted to thank you for being such a great role model. Now I know everything not to do."

    "So what poison did you drink to make you look like that? "

    Thanks for actually answering my question - I love them!!
  • BingleyElliot
    BingleyElliot Posts: 1
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    Whenever my mother in law says something crazy or something that is rude I will say, "How interesting that you feel comfortable saying that. let me think a bit more about it." Or you can try, "What an interesting observation." The other trick - she loves to talk about herself so just ask her lots and lots of questions about herself - particularly about her past - and that will take the onus off of you!
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    How about..

    "Oh, so that was the look you were aiming for in that outfit"

    "You know, you really messed up with raising your son.. here's a quick list of everything I blame you for"

    "I like you so much more when I've been drinking.. too bad I have to go back to work after this"

    :laugh:

    I really lucked up, I have an awesome MIL that I really enjoy spending time with.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    "I've been sleeping with your son."
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    "I've been sleeping with your son."
    That one is always a crowd pleaser, but if she's really uptight you could also open with, "your grandkids are going to be like me".
  • ckish
    ckish Posts: 358 Member
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    You can't change her so don't even worry about it. I've used the phrase "Thank you! That is a very interesting idea. I will have to think about it." There is no where for the fight to go. She doesn't need to know I did think about it and decided to disregard it. She used to complain to me about the most rediculous things when my husband was not around. My husband gave me permission to use the phrase - "That is how ny husband likes it." Which was very helpful too. By the time he got home she forgot about many of her complaints and he quietly dismissed the rest with the first phrase as well. My hubby had decades more practice dealing with her so he didn't feel like I was throwing him under the bus. He just knew how to handle her better. Now I just let it roll of my back and don't try to change her mind on anything. Unless she starts saying hurtful comments to my kids - like they are not loved, no one likes them, and they are not considered part of our family - all because they aren't following her warped advise. Then I nail her to the wall.
  • MarySunshine70
    MarySunshine70 Posts: 118
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    "I've been sleeping with your son."

    Nice :love:
    We've been married 22+ years & that would be a truly awkward opener - but only after she updates me on her yeast infection
  • MarySunshine70
    MarySunshine70 Posts: 118
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    I've used the phrase "Thank you! That is a very interesting idea. I will have to think about it." ....
    - "That is how ny husband likes it."

    Thanks! Good ideas
  • vanillarama
    vanillarama Posts: 101 Member
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    I feel sorrier for the MIL my husband has to deal with.

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