Silly joke time, put em on :-)

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  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Piglett :"Tigger, why are you starein' in the toilet?

    Tigger: "I'm looking for Pooh"
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    Guy sees a lady sitting at the other end of the bar - calls the bartender over and says "hey, I'll have another beer and see if that *kitten* down there would like a drink on me."

    Bartender says, "hey buddy, not sure where you get off saying such a thing, that's very disrespectful and I don't appreciate it.."

    Guy says, "ok, whatever, I take it back. Would you please ask that attractive lady if she would like a drink on me then?"

    Bartender walks to end of bar and says "excuse me, miss, that fella up there would like to buy you a drink, can I get you anything?"

    Lady thinks for a minute then says, "hmmm, ok...I'll have a vinegar & water.". :drinker:
  • Kimjanebrooks
    Kimjanebrooks Posts: 253 Member
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    What do you call a donkey with three legs?

    A Wonkey
  • PeteyogiW
    PeteyogiW Posts: 60
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    I just saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a catflap!!!! :-)

    Hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa
    Lol, now my days brighter, making me laugh, keep it going guys
  • PeteyogiW
    PeteyogiW Posts: 60
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    What do you call a donkey with three legs?

    A Wonkey
    :-) lol, go kimmy, u got more
  • Kimjanebrooks
    Kimjanebrooks Posts: 253 Member
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    What do you call a donkey with three legs?

    A Wonkey

    What do you call a three legged Donkey with one eye?

    A Winky Wonkey
  • MySunshine76
    MySunshine76 Posts: 389
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    Easiest way to get rid of a blonde..............................put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
  • Merrychrissmith
    Merrychrissmith Posts: 238 Member
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    If a dairy cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose?
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    What did they blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

    "Awe! Bagel seeds!"
  • elinakalna
    elinakalna Posts: 46
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    Doctor: Congratulations, you have a life inside you!
    Patient: But doctor, I am a man!!!
    Doctor: Well.. Ascarids doesn't really care...
  • PeteyogiW
    PeteyogiW Posts: 60
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    This ones a bit long, but hey. It's a guy writing in to an agony aunt in a UK tabloid.

    Dear Deirdre. I have never written to you before but i really need your advice. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating. The usual signs; phone rings and if i answer the caller hangs up, going out with the girls a lot & when I ask the names it's "you don't know them", i try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I ususally fall asleep. Anyway last night i decided to finally check on her. Around midnight i hid in the garage behind my motorbike so as to get a good view of the whole street when she came home from her night out with the girls. When she got out of the car she was buttoning her blouse which was open and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment as i crouched behind my motorbike i noticed it, a hairline crack where the fairing meets the tank, is this something i can fix myself or should i take it back to the shop?
  • PeteyogiW
    PeteyogiW Posts: 60
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    What did they blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

    "Awe! Bagel seeds!"
    [/quote} Love it
  • MrsSorenson
    MrsSorenson Posts: 450 Member
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    :laugh:

    Why didn't the Skeleton cross the road?

    HE DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS!!

    MY LIL GIRL TOLD ME THAT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS!
  • PhilyPhresh
    PhilyPhresh Posts: 600 Member
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    Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
    A: *gagging noise*

    Q: How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: WANNA RIDE BIKES?!??!?!??

    Q: How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: None. Hippies screw in smelly sleeping bags.

    Q: How many houseflies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: Two, but we have no idea how they got in there.

    Knock knock
    Who's There?
    To
    To who?
    To whom

    (this next one is best told in person with a LOT of commitment on your part)
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Can you sing some
    Can you sing some who?
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
    (a la Roger Daltrey in Won't Get Fooled Again)

    :laugh: These were awesome... love the "sing some Who" one...
  • lkcuts
    lkcuts Posts: 224
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    a poor share cropper hit the lotto.He asked his wife what is the one thing she always wanted. She said a milk bath like the rich ladies have. He went to the local dairy and asked for milk so he could get it for his wife's milk bath. The clerk asked him how much he wanted . the share cropper replied, "I don't know, a few gallons? enough to take a bath in."." Would you like it pasturized?" The clerk asked . "Oh no," said the share cropper, "just up to her hips will be plenty!.":bigsmile:
  • FatDadSlim
    FatDadSlim Posts: 497 Member
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    Knock Knock

    Who's there?

    Grandad.

    ****, quick open up that coffin!
  • MrsSorenson
    MrsSorenson Posts: 450 Member
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    What did they blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

    "Awe! Bagel seeds!"

    HILARIOUS!
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
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    Did you hear about the courderoy pillows?.....................................They're making Headlines!
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    M wife told me that she liked morning sex
    So why did she slap me when I got on top of her during her Grandad's funeral!
  • elinakalna
    elinakalna Posts: 46
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    Everytone thinks that girls dream is to meet the prince on a white horse. Bull%&£t!!! Every girls dream is to eat and not become fat!

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