Anyone with a significant other who is sabotaging them??

Whether intentionally or unintentionally does anyone else live/date someone who sabotages their weight loss efforts? I live with my bf and he is the most unhealthy eater I've EVER seen! (Not to mention he's a type 1 Diabetic, so it's scary to watch what he's doing to himself) He himself is at least 50 lbs overweight and has no desire to lose weight. ( I never comment on his weight. It doesn't bother me...what bothers me is his health!) He is a farm boy and is totally uncompromising in his eating habits. It's just so frustrating for me to have his constant temptation in my face.
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Replies

  • demonlullaby
    demonlullaby Posts: 499 Member
    YES! oh my gosh..
    I was going to post something like this.
    my boyfriend always bring the worst food into the house.. you know like all my favorite chips and stuff. he also gets fast food very often and asks me to pick it up (so hard to not order anything).
    and he's always offering me cookies and stuff. i don't know if he's trying to get me off my diet or what! but it's sooooooo annoying.
  • My DH is the worst eater, just like your BF. Steaks every other night, loaded baked potatoes, salads drenched in dresssing. We basically eat completely different meals every day. Although he does make things low-fat and low-calorie for me.... yesterday he made homemade chili using ground sirloin, but, he loaded his bowl with cheddar cheese and sour cream! I'm so used to his bad eating habits tho, it doesn't even bother me anymore. So, I'm right there with ya!
  • witchy_wife
    witchy_wife Posts: 792 Member
    Really sorry to hear that, it must be really hard for you :o(

    I know I am so lucky to have such a supportive husband, he himself has lost over 120lbs in the last 4 years so he knows how hard it is to stay on track. But I know if he is having a bad day and wants to order pizza it makes it a MILLION times harder for me to say no.
  • Gramps251
    Gramps251 Posts: 738 Member
    You can only be responsable for yourself. Maybe he'll be inspired by your progress. If you do the cooking, just cook what you want. If he does the cooking, tell him thanks but you'll make your own because you feel you have to make some changes in your life.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    I used to be married to one, then I divorced him (not for this reason, lol but it didn't help)
    I will never date another guy that isn't into fitness, or doesn't support mine.
  • Gramps251
    Gramps251 Posts: 738 Member
    YES! oh my gosh..
    I was going to post something like this.
    my boyfriend always bring the worst food into the house.. you know like all my favorite chips and stuff. he also gets fast food very often and asks me to pick it up (so hard to not order anything).
    and he's always offering me cookies and stuff. i don't know if he's trying to get me off my diet or what! but it's sooooooo annoying.

    You have to talk to him since you "don't know if he's trying to get me off my diet or what!

    It is your life. Live it the way you want.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Unless he's holding you down and shoving food into your face, you are the master of your own piehole.
  • KBrenOH
    KBrenOH Posts: 704 Member
    Mine used to all the time. He'd get me cupcakes from this gourmet cupcake shop we have downtown where we work. After about a year though of him realizing that I just didn't want to eat that stuff like that anymore, he's pretty much stopped so that's been really nice. Every great once in awhile, if he knows I'm having a crap day, he'll get me one and I'll bring it home, cut it in quarters, and eat exactly one section of it and either throw the rest away or offer a section each to my two kids (and throw the 4th section in the trash).

    Now if only I could get his snoring under control so I could sleep at night...
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    I dumped him....it was the best thing I could do.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    My bf has such terrible eating habits. He's a really childish eater and he eats pizza several times a week and mostly processed stuff. I really can't say anything because he's underweight but I am trying to get him to eat healthier food. He did make me eat pizza with him several times... And it's really not the high-quality good pizza mostly.
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  • morningmud
    morningmud Posts: 477 Member
    Oh yea, my bf even admitted to sabotaging me. He tries to give me candy and sodas all the time. Thankfully, he's a truck driver and only home 2 days per month but it is so hard saying no when he's all "I got this for you". I feel bad for refusing his "gifts" but I sabotage myself enough without his help.
  • Hmmcglothl
    Hmmcglothl Posts: 51 Member
    Mine used to all the time. He'd get me cupcakes from this gourmet cupcake shop we have downtown where we work. After about a year though of him realizing that I just didn't want to eat that stuff like that anymore, he's pretty much stopped so that's been really nice. Every great once in awhile, if he knows I'm having a crap day, he'll get me one and I'll bring it home, cut it in quarters, and eat exactly one section of it and either throw the rest away or offer a section each to my two kids (and throw the 4th section in the trash).

    Now if only I could get his snoring under control so I could sleep at night...

    haha..yes my bf brings me home McDonalds all the time and it just goes to the trash or he eats it himself. I had to laugh on the snoring part because I deal with that too. Ear plugs are my best friend!!
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Whether intentionally or unintentionally does anyone else live/date someone who sabotages their weight loss efforts? I live with my bf and he is the most unhealthy eater I've EVER seen! (Not to mention he's a type 1 Diabetic, so it's scary to watch what he's doing to himself) He himself is at least 50 lbs overweight and has no desire to lose weight. ( I never comment on his weight. It doesn't bother me...what bothers me is his health!) He is a farm boy and is totally uncompromising in his eating habits. It's just so frustrating for me to have his constant temptation in my face.

    That makes it so hard. My husband its not fat but he is a foot taller than me and can eat far more. He can eat some very high calorie foods that just won't fit into my calorie budget unless I wanted to eat one meal a day, LOL. I'm so blessed that he cooperated with me and I still need him too while I am maintaining, because I'm so tiny I will never get to eat as much as everyone else without getting fat again.

    Anyway, I had him store certain things way at the bottom of the freezer where I couldn't see them. And I had a big tote in his office where I had him keep all his "goodies" that were just off budget for me. And he was pretty good about not wanting things like ice cream and cookies, he said those don't really help him anyway, so he just said he will go get ice cream if he is out an about and not bring it home. It helped so much. I feel totally lucky to have a man like him. And he helped because he wanted me to be happy. I'm happy.
  • terrappyn
    terrappyn Posts: 324 Member
    I feel your pain. My boyfriend is at least 100 pounds overweight, eats anything out of a plastic wrapper or came from a cow. He also thinks potatos are a veggie. Ive gained at least 30 pounds since we have been together (1.5 years) and I need to lose 80 to be a healthy weight. He thinks that becasue he still fits in the same jeans (he carries his weight as all belly, like most men) he is fine. UGH frustrating. I try to cook healthier but his palate is not forgiving. I made broccoli one night and he asked where the cheese sauce was. lol So if anyone has an idea of what I can do to keep myself on track and make him happy at the same time......lol
  • tnmyers23
    tnmyers23 Posts: 108 Member
    My husband is a junk foo, chips with every meal pretty much. In the past he was horrible about my diests. But this time I stood my ground and he has come around. I don't ask him to eat my way all I ask of him is to be considerate of what I am doing. When we are out of town he has me pick the resturants now and so far is working out well for us.
  • WalkingGirl1985
    WalkingGirl1985 Posts: 2,046 Member
    I won't say sabotage, but every so often (usually when we get paid in the beginning of the month) he does go a little gung ho and wants to order pizza or fast food..but thats only right at the beginning so sometimes I look at my calories and join him in on a slice or 2 of pizza or a cheeseburger...but for the most part I actually make things myself, and hes willing to try with me..like lean burgers, mac and cheese mixed with tuna..(we split the box--400 calories each) or make our own nachos using shredded cheese, salsa, and lean meat..if anything, hes trying to help me stay on track and hes tough when I don't feel like I am..I suggest talking to your S.O and tell them how you feel, sometimes they can be right there with you. :bigsmile:
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Mine used to all the time. He'd get me cupcakes from this gourmet cupcake shop we have downtown where we work. After about a year though of him realizing that I just didn't want to eat that stuff like that anymore, he's pretty much stopped so that's been really nice. Every great once in awhile, if he knows I'm having a crap day, he'll get me one and I'll bring it home, cut it in quarters, and eat exactly one section of it and either throw the rest away or offer a section each to my two kids (and throw the 4th section in the trash).

    Now if only I could get his snoring under control so I could sleep at night...


    haha..yes my bf brings me home McDonalds all the time and it just goes to the trash or he eats it himself. I had to laugh on the snoring part because I deal with that too. Ear plugs are my best friend!!

    LOL I could not survive without ear plugs!!!
  • My boyfriend doesn't do it on purpose, but he's one of those people who eats like a sumo wrestler and still doesn't gain any weight. He's around 6'1" and 145 pounds. He eats huge, fattening meals and lots of snacks, and it's tough for me to be around that sometimes without giving into temptation!
  • AMHouse85
    AMHouse85 Posts: 285 Member
    My DH wants to have the crap in the house like soda/candy/chips and that's fine. For the most part any time I'm like I want a soda I take 1 drink, gag on the sugar and am done with it. I tell him if he wants the crap then there has to choices for me too, salads, veggies, fruits, nuts. Costs a little more but then I don't want to kill him by shoving a cupcake in his piehole.
  • Hmmcglothl
    Hmmcglothl Posts: 51 Member
    Unless he's holding you down and shoving food into your face, you are the master of your own piehole.
    The best answer in this thread

    I agree and I have been resisting his temptation. I think the biggest problem is that when you change your own thinking on health/eating and the person you live with doesn't, you really need to re-*kitten* what you both want out of life. It's hard to watch someone slowly kill themselves with food and he most definitely is.
  • sreimer07
    sreimer07 Posts: 154 Member
    I'm right there with you!! My SO would rather eat the nasty bad stuff then healthy stuff. Needless to stay i now only buy groceries for myself. He can buy the junk he wants but i'm not cooking it :)
  • ashleyrose90
    ashleyrose90 Posts: 71 Member
    My boyfriend is on that fine line... he loves to eat bad stuff but he supports me. Though he has gotten into this habit of wanting to surprise me with treats. One day it was a Subway cookie the next day it was a Twix peanut butter bar. Though I do give him credit he does go for the lowest calorie intake of the evils. Eventually I'll get him on board. I do the cooking so he needs to eat what I make :P If only I could have a similar metabolisn... and it doesn't help he keeps telling me I'm gorgeous the way I am... Drives me cray. MEN i tell ya :P
  • BioShocked89
    BioShocked89 Posts: 330 Member
    Unless he's holding you down and shoving food into your face, you are the master of your own piehole.

    This is pretty true. Plus, love the Master of the Piehole. Hehe!
  • DaniJeanine
    DaniJeanine Posts: 473 Member
    You can only be responsable for yourself. Maybe he'll be inspired by your progress. If you do the cooking, just cook what you want. If he does the cooking, tell him thanks but you'll make your own because you feel you have to make some changes in your life.

    True, but I can imagine it's much harder when your significant other isn't on the same page.

    Since I am so close to my goal (5 lbs) and my BF met me after I had already gotten into shape, he thinks I'm nuts. He's always telling me that I could eat whatever I want, I look fine the way I am...etc. So as much as I love how he appreciates me the way I am, he doesn't get the work it ttook to get here, or what it takes to maintain it (not to mention he's totally JACKED & could eat enough to feed a small country without gaining weight) lol
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
    I think I'm the sabotager haha..... :embarassed:

    My boyfriend eats healthy, works out, always encourages eating lean meats and helps me to watch my carbs, sugar, calorie intake. etc....

    Well, I LOVE to bake. I'll bake cookies, cakes, pies, cupcakes, you name it. And who ends up eating it? The bf. I doubt he would even want it if I wasn't always making it. He's a good sport though, he doesn't tell me not to bake because I knows I love it. And he really helps me by eating the majority of it because then I don't!

    Yep....I'm totally the sabotager. Sorry hun! :flowerforyou:
  • SwimKitty
    SwimKitty Posts: 122 Member
    bump to read later, as I can definitely relate
  • misfitswayoflife
    misfitswayoflife Posts: 134 Member
    It's true we make our own decisons of the "pie hole" but it's really difficult living with two skinny minnies. My boyfriend and his brother eat such fatty foods... And both sabatoge me. My boyfriend always thinks I'm trying to "get hot so I can leave him for someone better" and whines that "my gym time takes away from his time" and "my food is expensive and pointless" then makes batches of fries or orders pizza and taunts me with it. It's REALLY hard
    WHats worse is I have a binge eating disorder and when i'M sad he offers to buy me ice cream or pizza to make me feel better. It's REALLY hard
  • Hmmcglothl
    Hmmcglothl Posts: 51 Member
    I feel your pain. My boyfriend is at least 100 pounds overweight, eats anything out of a plastic wrapper or came from a cow. He also thinks potatos are a veggie. Ive gained at least 30 pounds since we have been together (1.5 years) and I need to lose 80 to be a healthy weight. He thinks that becasue he still fits in the same jeans (he carries his weight as all belly, like most men) he is fine. UGH frustrating. I try to cook healthier but his palate is not forgiving. I made broccoli one night and he asked where the cheese sauce was. lol So if anyone has an idea of what I can do to keep myself on track and make him happy at the same time......lol

    Yep..my bf carries his in the belly to like most men. I cook healthy meals and he will either add terrible sauces or butter like nobody's business just like your bf. I just don't think unless they really want to change it's going to happen. Good thing is he has made my willpower to resist bad foods pretty damn strong.
  • ladybarometer
    ladybarometer Posts: 205 Member
    My Boyfriend is awful!! He tries to be along side me in weight loss for about two days and then goes back to normal. He's either eating terrible, or not eating at all, and it's frustrating. I've been slowly eliminating the bad stuff, but it's tough - he still gets extra mayo on his fried sandwiches and LOVES french fries. I've stopped trying to pack him healthy lunches for work, because he doesn't care, so why waste the healthy stuff that I need to be healthy? He doesn't care about being healthy.... he says he does, but not enough to do anything about it yet.