Anyone with a significant other who is sabotaging them??

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  • Hmmcglothl
    Hmmcglothl Posts: 51 Member
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    I think this is one of the saddest threads I've ever read. If your significant other doesn't respect what you do and does anything other then help and support you in your whatever your endeavors are then it's probably in your best interest to change your situation.

    True that, Mrflash!

    That's what it boils down to. We have a one year old son together and I don't want him to see and learn from his father's unhealthy lifestyle. Plus I knew how he ate/lived when we got together so leaving him for it now seems unfair to me. However the support isn't there and what he is doing to himself is more devastating than anything. With his type 1 diabetes not being in control I'm afraid for his health by the time he turns 30. Tough situation...
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I think I'm the sabotager haha..... :embarassed:

    My boyfriend eats healthy, works out, always encourages eating lean meats and helps me to watch my carbs, sugar, calorie intake. etc....

    Well, I LOVE to bake. I'll bake cookies, cakes, pies, cupcakes, you name it. And who ends up eating it? The bf. I doubt he would even want it if I wasn't always making it. He's a good sport though, he doesn't tell me not to bake because I knows I love it. And he really helps me by eating the majority of it because then I don't!

    Yep....I'm totally the sabotager. Sorry hun! :flowerforyou:

    Why don't you halve the recipes for cookies and cupcakes so he doesn't have as much to eat? I mean, since your know you're sabotaging him.
  • jnoire
    jnoire Posts: 43
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    Leave him! He is belittling the changes that you are making for a healthier lifestyle and sabotaging your progress! He does not want to see you become fit and have higher self esteem! BOO boyfriend BOO!
    It's true we make our own decisons of the "pie hole" but it's really difficult living with two skinny minnies. My boyfriend and his brother eat such fatty foods... And both sabatoge me. My boyfriend always thinks I'm trying to "get hot so I can leave him for someone better" and whines that "my gym time takes away from his time" and "my food is expensive and pointless" then makes batches of fries or orders pizza and taunts me with it. It's REALLY hard
    WHats worse is I have a binge eating disorder and when i'M sad he offers to buy me ice cream or pizza to make me feel better. It's REALLY hard
  • cara4fit
    cara4fit Posts: 111 Member
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    This all is indeed sad, from so many people on this thread. One's SO should be one's biggest supporter, even if they're not quite ready to get in line themselves with their own eating habits if they need improving.
    One of the worst things that happens in such a relationship is that the guy, or even some other family members will ask one "when are you getting OFF this health kick?" If any phrase drives me nuts, it's "health kick", meaning it's something that one does a little while to "get healthy" and then quits. No, the changes that people are making here, and on other fitness and weight loss boards are because of an intent to change one's lifestyle for the better overall, even if someone comes in just wanting to lose 5 lbs, because that's what it takes to lose, keep the weight off and improve one's health.
    So many times sabotage happens because the other person is feeling threatened by the positive changes that one is making. There are an awful lot of guys who don't want their mates looking "too attractive"(attention from other men, you know)so they'll do everything they can to keep their mate fat. Said mate really really has to be strong in the face of this, and relationships have broken apart over this because the one who really is making great changes is tired of having to spend all their energy in a negative environment and around someone who just simply isn't getting it.
    That said, I feel fortunate in having a husband who is supportive of all the fitness stuff I do and he does a good bit himself. No, he doesn't always eat perfectly, but he knows how I am about food.
  • Shrelana
    Shrelana Posts: 248 Member
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    Mine used to all the time. He'd get me cupcakes from this gourmet cupcake shop we have downtown where we work. After about a year though of him realizing that I just didn't want to eat that stuff like that anymore, he's pretty much stopped so that's been really nice. Every great once in awhile, if he knows I'm having a crap day, he'll get me one and I'll bring it home, cut it in quarters, and eat exactly one section of it and either throw the rest away or offer a section each to my two kids (and throw the 4th section in the trash).

    Now if only I could get his snoring under control so I could sleep at night...

    haha..yes my bf brings me home McDonalds all the time and it just goes to the trash or he eats it himself. I had to laugh on the snoring part because I deal with that too. Ear plugs are my best friend!!
    My husband is a snorer too...a quick poke with me telling him to roll over helps :)
  • schell81
    schell81 Posts: 187 Member
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    My Husband tries to be supportive, he eats whatever I make and never complains. He tells me how great I'm doing and will go for a long walk with me whenever I ask. But just the other day I got into the car and there was a huge bag of chips open on the passenger seat. The whole car smelled like my favorite chips! I threw them out and opened a window. I cannot eat a small reasonable amount of potato chips. Or I'll buy some healthy snacks and he will eat all of them! He thinks a box of crackers is a snack. Those would be snacks for me for 2 weeks! He's 6'3 and weighs about 165 pounds and can eat constantly and never gain weight.
    It's hard to have to watch my food when he can eat and eat and eat and never gain weight. But I am very thankful that he's at least trying to help me. If he was bringing me fast food (my food addiction) and cupcakes all the time I don't know how long my willpower would hold.
  • jillica
    jillica Posts: 554 Member
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    YES! He loves junk food - chips, ice cream, hostess, little debbie, all of it!
    I truly believe isn't doing it to sabotage me - He just eats really poorly.
    I just try to keep educating him that a Little Debbie oatmeal snack cake is NOT a healthy breakfast option because it has "oatmeal" in the title - it is a dessert!
    and that those huge chocolate muffins he eats in the mornings are CUPCAKES!!! even though they are labeled muffins.

    I can usually resist but when I have a weak moment - GRRRRR... that stuff is around and doesn't stop talking to me.
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
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    My fiance is a hardgainer, he eats about 6500-7000 calories a day. He keeps ice cream, doritos, bean dip, hot pockets, etc. That doesnt mean i have to eat them. if its such a problem, have your SO keep junk seperate. divinde up yhe fridge (my koolaid is made with splenda, his with sugar. his stays by the 2% milk, mine is on the shelf with my soymilk. Doritos and candy gets one shelf, trail mix and almonds get another.

    Most times, lack of willpower comes out as someone else "sabotaging" you.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,324 Member
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    @corn .. If you don't have anything good to say. Zip it!

    And YES , my DH.. Is the worst at sabotage . OMG. I don't have a great answer for you. But I totally understand where your coming from!

    oh please. corn's RIGHT!

    im constantly bombarded by the temptation of women throwing themselves at me everywhere i go, but do i give in and just start checkin everyones' oil? NO! i have will power in addition to all of this!
  • RunMyOregonBunsOff
    RunMyOregonBunsOff Posts: 862 Member
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    My hubby is so sweet and loves to spoil me which used to mean bringing home special treats for me often. I would feel like it would hurt his feelings if I didn't eat it. I would try to gently tell him that he that he didn't need to do that so much but it meant a lot to him. Finally, I set up a reward system for him. If I get to specific bench mark places then HE gets a reward. I believe that I will ow him his first one tomorrow!!! That has worked better than any talk or threat that I could have dished out. :)
  • jangaard
    jangaard Posts: 32 Member
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    I met my boyfriend when I was at my lightest and feeling the best! But because of school I was really stressed and turned to food as a relief.. my boyfriend is tall and skinny and would always bring home chips and french fries and pizza. After a year of living alone or with another healthy roommate having all this food around me during periods of stress was really hard. He ended up gaining 20 lb (can't really see it on him though) and I gained back 20-30 lb I had lost.

    Now at least we keep anything deepfried out of the house, if he wants fast food he eats it when he's not home :) it's made a big difference. He is supportive in general - i know he really misses my bod from when we met - but he doesn't understand the work I'm putting in or how strict I'm being. Oh well
  • Hmmcglothl
    Hmmcglothl Posts: 51 Member
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    just break up.

    Yes and stop living in sin!:angry:

    I don't live in sin. In case you haven't read the new testament, Jesus died on the cross and sin has been abolished. To say that any of our sins are unforgiven right now is to take away the power of Jesus. Please don't post judgements on here. Judging others is a sin.
  • Itsme_Mary
    Itsme_Mary Posts: 17 Member
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    DH.. Dear Hubby
  • jnoire
    jnoire Posts: 43
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    Amen! :smile:
    I think this is one of the saddest threads I've ever read. If your significant other doesn't respect what you do and does anything other then help and support you in your whatever your endeavors are then it's probably in your best interest to change your situation.
  • NCchar130
    NCchar130 Posts: 955 Member
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    My husband respects what I'm doing and doesn't try to sabotage me in any way like with criticism or trying to tempt me to eat certain foods. However, he does not wish to do it with me. And that's fine. I worry about his health from time to time but he's going to have to want it for himself. I started with about 70 pounds to lose. He could probably stand to lose 30, if I had to guess, so it would be good for him to do it, but I haven't as much as suggested it. If he decides to try, I'm ready to help!

    I went to the grocery store last night and was watching the woman behind me watching me and looking at what I was putting on the belt. LOL - stack of frozen pizzas, hot pockets, chips, cheese dip, ice cream (for my husband) and then the cans of beans, fresh fruits and vegetables, yogurt, nuts, etc for me. I think she wanted to ask but was afraid to :tongue:
  • FitandFab33
    FitandFab33 Posts: 718 Member
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    I love my DH to pieces but I'm in the same situation as you'all. I never really ate much fast food until my DH and I started dating and now I am having trouble kicking the habit. He just loves fast food, steak, and pretty much anything processed within an inch of its life. It's been a real struggle to stay focused and on track. Once I started eating healthier it started rubbing off on him and now he's talking about kicking his soda habit. Good luck staying motivated!

    DH is "dear husband".. You wouldn't happen to be a DWIL-er would you?? :-)
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    Unless he's holding you down and shoving food into your face, you are the master of your own piehole.

    Word.


    This pretty much should've ended the thread.
  • Stac2004
    Stac2004 Posts: 88 Member
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    For those saying you are in control, or it's your "piehole" and you control what goes in, it's a little more complicated than that.

    I sympathize with the OP. once you get on a roll and see results, it is easier to deny tempting unhealthy foods. However, if you are just starting the journey, it is harder (though not impossible) to. Many experts and those have been successful in weight loss will tell you to first rid your house of unhealthy food and replace with healthy options to remove temptation. Some don't have that option and it makes it that much harder to make a lifestyle change.

    Some can roll along initially, be surrounded by temptation, but be disciplined enough to avoid them. In all honesty, I respect people like you. But some of us have a harder time. Good luck to the OP, I hope things work out.
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
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    My boyfriend is insanely supportive. He never said a word about the weight I gained since we started dating but since I've been bettering myelf he joined right on in. He gets a little bossyw ith the food but I'd rather have him say "maybe you shouldn't eat so much of that" than "let's get take out". The only person in my life I struggle with is a jerk coworker who outweighs me that makes comments about how prissy I am now that I turn down all the food like I'm too good for it.

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