Anyone with a significant other who is sabotaging them??
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I think this is one of the saddest threads I've ever read. If your significant other doesn't respect what you do and does anything other then help and support you in your whatever your endeavors are then it's probably in your best interest to change your situation.
True that, Mrflash!
That's what it boils down to. We have a one year old son together and I don't want him to see and learn from his father's unhealthy lifestyle. Plus I knew how he ate/lived when we got together so leaving him for it now seems unfair to me. However the support isn't there and what he is doing to himself is more devastating than anything. With his type 1 diabetes not being in control I'm afraid for his health by the time he turns 30. Tough situation...0 -
I think I'm the sabotager haha.....
My boyfriend eats healthy, works out, always encourages eating lean meats and helps me to watch my carbs, sugar, calorie intake. etc....
Well, I LOVE to bake. I'll bake cookies, cakes, pies, cupcakes, you name it. And who ends up eating it? The bf. I doubt he would even want it if I wasn't always making it. He's a good sport though, he doesn't tell me not to bake because I knows I love it. And he really helps me by eating the majority of it because then I don't!
Yep....I'm totally the sabotager. Sorry hun! :flowerforyou:
Why don't you halve the recipes for cookies and cupcakes so he doesn't have as much to eat? I mean, since your know you're sabotaging him.0 -
Leave him! He is belittling the changes that you are making for a healthier lifestyle and sabotaging your progress! He does not want to see you become fit and have higher self esteem! BOO boyfriend BOO!It's true we make our own decisons of the "pie hole" but it's really difficult living with two skinny minnies. My boyfriend and his brother eat such fatty foods... And both sabatoge me. My boyfriend always thinks I'm trying to "get hot so I can leave him for someone better" and whines that "my gym time takes away from his time" and "my food is expensive and pointless" then makes batches of fries or orders pizza and taunts me with it. It's REALLY hard
WHats worse is I have a binge eating disorder and when i'M sad he offers to buy me ice cream or pizza to make me feel better. It's REALLY hard0 -
This all is indeed sad, from so many people on this thread. One's SO should be one's biggest supporter, even if they're not quite ready to get in line themselves with their own eating habits if they need improving.
One of the worst things that happens in such a relationship is that the guy, or even some other family members will ask one "when are you getting OFF this health kick?" If any phrase drives me nuts, it's "health kick", meaning it's something that one does a little while to "get healthy" and then quits. No, the changes that people are making here, and on other fitness and weight loss boards are because of an intent to change one's lifestyle for the better overall, even if someone comes in just wanting to lose 5 lbs, because that's what it takes to lose, keep the weight off and improve one's health.
So many times sabotage happens because the other person is feeling threatened by the positive changes that one is making. There are an awful lot of guys who don't want their mates looking "too attractive"(attention from other men, you know)so they'll do everything they can to keep their mate fat. Said mate really really has to be strong in the face of this, and relationships have broken apart over this because the one who really is making great changes is tired of having to spend all their energy in a negative environment and around someone who just simply isn't getting it.
That said, I feel fortunate in having a husband who is supportive of all the fitness stuff I do and he does a good bit himself. No, he doesn't always eat perfectly, but he knows how I am about food.0 -
My husband is a snorer too...a quick poke with me telling him to roll over helpsMine used to all the time. He'd get me cupcakes from this gourmet cupcake shop we have downtown where we work. After about a year though of him realizing that I just didn't want to eat that stuff like that anymore, he's pretty much stopped so that's been really nice. Every great once in awhile, if he knows I'm having a crap day, he'll get me one and I'll bring it home, cut it in quarters, and eat exactly one section of it and either throw the rest away or offer a section each to my two kids (and throw the 4th section in the trash).
Now if only I could get his snoring under control so I could sleep at night...
haha..yes my bf brings me home McDonalds all the time and it just goes to the trash or he eats it himself. I had to laugh on the snoring part because I deal with that too. Ear plugs are my best friend!!
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My Husband tries to be supportive, he eats whatever I make and never complains. He tells me how great I'm doing and will go for a long walk with me whenever I ask. But just the other day I got into the car and there was a huge bag of chips open on the passenger seat. The whole car smelled like my favorite chips! I threw them out and opened a window. I cannot eat a small reasonable amount of potato chips. Or I'll buy some healthy snacks and he will eat all of them! He thinks a box of crackers is a snack. Those would be snacks for me for 2 weeks! He's 6'3 and weighs about 165 pounds and can eat constantly and never gain weight.
It's hard to have to watch my food when he can eat and eat and eat and never gain weight. But I am very thankful that he's at least trying to help me. If he was bringing me fast food (my food addiction) and cupcakes all the time I don't know how long my willpower would hold.0 -
YES! He loves junk food - chips, ice cream, hostess, little debbie, all of it!
I truly believe isn't doing it to sabotage me - He just eats really poorly.
I just try to keep educating him that a Little Debbie oatmeal snack cake is NOT a healthy breakfast option because it has "oatmeal" in the title - it is a dessert!
and that those huge chocolate muffins he eats in the mornings are CUPCAKES!!! even though they are labeled muffins.
I can usually resist but when I have a weak moment - GRRRRR... that stuff is around and doesn't stop talking to me.0 -
My fiance is a hardgainer, he eats about 6500-7000 calories a day. He keeps ice cream, doritos, bean dip, hot pockets, etc. That doesnt mean i have to eat them. if its such a problem, have your SO keep junk seperate. divinde up yhe fridge (my koolaid is made with splenda, his with sugar. his stays by the 2% milk, mine is on the shelf with my soymilk. Doritos and candy gets one shelf, trail mix and almonds get another.
Most times, lack of willpower comes out as someone else "sabotaging" you.0 -
@corn .. If you don't have anything good to say. Zip it!
And YES , my DH.. Is the worst at sabotage . OMG. I don't have a great answer for you. But I totally understand where your coming from!
oh please. corn's RIGHT!
im constantly bombarded by the temptation of women throwing themselves at me everywhere i go, but do i give in and just start checkin everyones' oil? NO! i have will power in addition to all of this!0 -
My hubby is so sweet and loves to spoil me which used to mean bringing home special treats for me often. I would feel like it would hurt his feelings if I didn't eat it. I would try to gently tell him that he that he didn't need to do that so much but it meant a lot to him. Finally, I set up a reward system for him. If I get to specific bench mark places then HE gets a reward. I believe that I will ow him his first one tomorrow!!! That has worked better than any talk or threat that I could have dished out. 0
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I met my boyfriend when I was at my lightest and feeling the best! But because of school I was really stressed and turned to food as a relief.. my boyfriend is tall and skinny and would always bring home chips and french fries and pizza. After a year of living alone or with another healthy roommate having all this food around me during periods of stress was really hard. He ended up gaining 20 lb (can't really see it on him though) and I gained back 20-30 lb I had lost.
Now at least we keep anything deepfried out of the house, if he wants fast food he eats it when he's not home it's made a big difference. He is supportive in general - i know he really misses my bod from when we met - but he doesn't understand the work I'm putting in or how strict I'm being. Oh well 0 -
just break up.
Yes and stop living in sin!
I don't live in sin. In case you haven't read the new testament, Jesus died on the cross and sin has been abolished. To say that any of our sins are unforgiven right now is to take away the power of Jesus. Please don't post judgements on here. Judging others is a sin.0 -
DH.. Dear Hubby0
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Amen!I think this is one of the saddest threads I've ever read. If your significant other doesn't respect what you do and does anything other then help and support you in your whatever your endeavors are then it's probably in your best interest to change your situation.0
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My husband respects what I'm doing and doesn't try to sabotage me in any way like with criticism or trying to tempt me to eat certain foods. However, he does not wish to do it with me. And that's fine. I worry about his health from time to time but he's going to have to want it for himself. I started with about 70 pounds to lose. He could probably stand to lose 30, if I had to guess, so it would be good for him to do it, but I haven't as much as suggested it. If he decides to try, I'm ready to help!
I went to the grocery store last night and was watching the woman behind me watching me and looking at what I was putting on the belt. LOL - stack of frozen pizzas, hot pockets, chips, cheese dip, ice cream (for my husband) and then the cans of beans, fresh fruits and vegetables, yogurt, nuts, etc for me. I think she wanted to ask but was afraid to
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I love my DH to pieces but I'm in the same situation as you'all. I never really ate much fast food until my DH and I started dating and now I am having trouble kicking the habit. He just loves fast food, steak, and pretty much anything processed within an inch of its life. It's been a real struggle to stay focused and on track. Once I started eating healthier it started rubbing off on him and now he's talking about kicking his soda habit. Good luck staying motivated!
DH is "dear husband".. You wouldn't happen to be a DWIL-er would you?? :-)0 -
Unless he's holding you down and shoving food into your face, you are the master of your own piehole.
Word.
This pretty much should've ended the thread.0 -
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For those saying you are in control, or it's your "piehole" and you control what goes in, it's a little more complicated than that.
I sympathize with the OP. once you get on a roll and see results, it is easier to deny tempting unhealthy foods. However, if you are just starting the journey, it is harder (though not impossible) to. Many experts and those have been successful in weight loss will tell you to first rid your house of unhealthy food and replace with healthy options to remove temptation. Some don't have that option and it makes it that much harder to make a lifestyle change.
Some can roll along initially, be surrounded by temptation, but be disciplined enough to avoid them. In all honesty, I respect people like you. But some of us have a harder time. Good luck to the OP, I hope things work out.0 -
My boyfriend is insanely supportive. He never said a word about the weight I gained since we started dating but since I've been bettering myelf he joined right on in. He gets a little bossyw ith the food but I'd rather have him say "maybe you shouldn't eat so much of that" than "let's get take out". The only person in my life I struggle with is a jerk coworker who outweighs me that makes comments about how prissy I am now that I turn down all the food like I'm too good for it.0
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Unless he's holding you down and shoving food into your face, you are the master of your own piehole.
Word.
This pretty much should've ended the thread.
Agreed!!! Just another excuse from people who already have too many excuses!!! Nobody is 'sabotaging' you, you're sabotaging yourself because you have no self control.0 -
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slowly raises hand.
I once heard someone say, (maybe it was Oprah, not sure) that said
/"BEHIND EVERY PERSON TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT,
IS SOMEONE SABOTAGING THEIR EFFORTS."//
She went on to say, often the person means well, like the pal who says, "Oh come on, one lil piece of pie won't hurt you." to those who actually do seem to be trying to tempt you.
My guy buys food specifically FOR ME, when he grocery shops, and he does most of the grocery shopping, Even when i go to grocery store, he goes back to store later, by himself, and comes home with entire bags full of junk
bags of candy, chips, cookies, doritos, ice cream, pies, cakes, donuts, candy bars, coffee cakes, just junk!!!!!
He also buys things he himself does not eat
but knows i love, like extra sharp cheddar cheese, just for ME. I keep telling him to stop, as i have tons of portion control issues when it comes to cheese,
still, he keeps buying this stuff. :noway: Oddest thing ever. He even sets the snack items out for me, :noway: :noway: on the island in the kitchen, on the coffee tables, to make sure i see it there........... I am getting better and better to resist it,:drinker:
Again, this is sometimes snacks and junk that he himself doesn't even eat, :noway: he sets them out for ME to see them.:grumble:
but wow. (oddly, my guy is not fat, he somehow burns off allllllllllll the junk foods he eats.)
He also cooks every day, and he always puts gravy on top of most foods. :indifferent: :indifferent: I used to eat his cooking for years (he won't eat my cooking) but, i have had to stop eating his cooking
and just make my OWN meals. He STILL eggs me on to "just try a bite, taste this gravy i made."
but, i just make my own meals now, and he makes his.
I was never ever fat in my life (i'm older) til i lived with him. Never. Could be coincidence, though. But prior to living with this guy, i lived 50 years, had kids, was poor now and then, still, i was never was fat. NOW i am no longer in control of the food in the kitchen i live with, and now, i am fat....maybe it is coincidence. could just be middle age.
He says, "well, if you don't want a donut, just don't eat one." which is true!! It is not his fault i am fat. I am in control of what i eat. AND I AM GETTING STRONGER AND BETTER TO RESIST THE SNACKS HE LAYS AROUND THE HOUSE FOR ME:drinker:
but
it can be hard to resist junk right in your home 24/7. When *I* had control of my very own kitchen, i just never ever bought junk, NEVER....i always found it easier to resist the junk once a week at the store,
rather than trying to resist junk food every 20 minutes right in my own house.
This was especially difficult when i was NEW at trying to develop new habits, BUT HAVE HOPE, it seems to get easier with practice!!! :drinker: :drinker:
Developing inner strength DOES take some time, and like everything else, it takes practice. It is NOT that easy living in a home laden with junk, especially when you are still finding your way to new ways to eat. but. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
however, on bright side, i do plan to have my own place soon enough, and won't have to deal with this diet-saboteur i live with now!!:drinker:0 -
Whether intentionally or unintentionally does anyone else live/date someone who sabotages their weight loss efforts? I live with my bf and he is the most unhealthy eater I've EVER seen! (Not to mention he's a type 1 Diabetic, so it's scary to watch what he's doing to himself) He himself is at least 50 lbs overweight and has no desire to lose weight. ( I never comment on his weight. It doesn't bother me...what bothers me is his health!) He is a farm boy and is totally uncompromising in his eating habits. It's just so frustrating for me to have his constant temptation in my face.
Sounds like you are the one with issues......He's not sabotaging you....He's living his life. One thing to be worried about him......quite another to say he is sabotaging you because you can't control what you put in your mouth around him. I have that effect too though.......so I see how it could happen.0 -
Mine was the same way but I think he never believed me before- I would start, give up and so on and so on. So this time, I said, this is going to be different, and he said"ok" like a million times before. But NOW that I've been consistently doing this, he is more supportive and doesn't bring garbage in the house( well, he sneaks it in, it's not in my face) so it is easier. I wish he would step it up for his own health but I won't nag.He's doing better! Maybe he feels bad about himself now that you are trying to get healthy...0
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UGH!0
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Unless he's holding you down and shoving food into your face, you are the master of your own piehole.
Word.
This pretty much should've ended the thread.
Agreed!!! Just another excuse from people who already have too many excuses!!! Nobody is 'sabotaging' you, you're sabotaging yourself because you have no self control.
Not true at all. I have no excuses. I make no excuses. My weight loss has been successful. I now have extreme self-control. I don't give into his temptation and he didn't make me fat. It boils down to being supportive.0 -
My husband does it to me all the time. He doesn't like to eat late in the evening so he cooks dinner every night. He is the most unhealthy cook I've ever met. My youngest son has decided to log calories and to work out, he's lost (I'm guessing) 60 lbs, I'm grateful that he's home from college and doing the majority of the cooking.. Good luck to you! Keep the will power going... That's all we can do....0
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Yep... when I spend weekend at my boyfriend's place, I often bring my own food as he barely has anything healthy for me to snack on or let alone make a meal. He is all about Eggs, toast and bread, cheese, chips, icecream cones and bars, mashed potatoes. He was warned by his doctor last year that his cholesterol was a little high. His doc wanted to put him on meds but my bf made a promise to start exercising and get his cholesterol back down. He truly believes it's only exercise that is missing. Anyway, he did one workout this week. He keeps saying that he's gonna start working out again but never does. He was into kickboxing big time but had to stop due to a back injury in a car accident.
He confided in me that he bought Texas garlic bread and put cheese on it and ate that a couple of nights ago. UGH! I would have been sick!
I'm glad I am not around him during the week as I have my kids most of the time because he eats a lot of junk and when he does eat a healthy meal I make, he triples the portions!
I don't nag him about it. He's an adult and can make his own decisions.0 -
Why do others feel they need to be so cruel? To use words like "piehole" is unacceptable... I thought we were all here for the same reasons, to support one another... As I was growing up my mother used the expression numerous times throughout my life... "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" Geez!0
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