I really think that I need serious help

Whatever you need - pushing, pulling, carrying - I'm here for you.

My "ah-ha!" moment came nearly three weeks ago. I was stuffed to the point of being miserable and realized all of a sudden that I had been in control all along. I had stuffed myself on purpose, not because I was out of control, but because there were (and are) a lot of problems in my life that I couldn't deal with directly, which made me feel bad. I was feeding the bad, really pumping up the misery of it all.

In the past, I wanted to lose weight without really changing anything.
Now I'm willing to change everything.

I advise that you pay attention to your eating habits for a day or two, maybe a week. Figure out when you're hungry and really need to eat. Schedule meals for those times, and eat/drink nothing but water between those times. This is working for me big time. (I'm a new member; that's why my counter doesn't show a weight loss yet. But I've been at this for nearly 3 weeks and can see it in how my clothes fit.)

I'm a DONA-trained birth doula, and I would like to offer you a comment from a doula's perspective:

Becoming a parent is a life-changing event. Your relationship with your environment, your family, your friends, and your body (just to name a few things) is deeply affected by motherhood. Have you considered being checked out for postpartum depression?

Here's an article by an excellent childbirth educator, Robin Weiss, which may help you decide whether or not PPD is relevant to your situation:

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/postpartumdepress/a/ppdsigns.htm

I'm 5'4'' 199lbs after losing 10 lbs over the summer with the help of MFP. I have my on and off days too, but what keeps me going is focusing on the long term goal. If I have a bad day (or two or three) I know that when I get back on track, I'm getting closer to my goal.

One big thing that I believe has helped is changing the way I grocery shop. I started with just getting low or non fat milk instead of whole. When I realized that taste didn't suffer, I kept going. 45 calorie bread, bagel thins instead of whole bagels, and I'm in love with Lite laughing cow when I have that cream cheese craving. Doing this meant that I could be full and still lower my calories, fat, and sodium.

I also highly recommend The Hungry Girl at www.hungry-girl.com So many easy recipes for one or the whole family that are yummy and low in calories, fat and sodium. And don't forget that water!! Sometimes thirst can seem like hunger to us. Drink that glass of water and see if you still feel hungry 10 or 15 minutes later.

Don't give up! :happy:

This site has been the most useful tool! I found it extremely depressing after having my children looking at what happened to my body. It took me a couple years to lose the baby weight and even though I didnt get as slim as I was before babies, I felt I was in way better shape with the proper diet and some weight training to boot. Small price to pay for having been blessed with a child!
Find foods that are very low in calories, sometimes lettuce just wasnt what I wanted to eat AGAIN, but knowing you can eat a ton of it suited me just fine. Also, water, water, water! I now buy those packets of flavored drink mixes, like Peach Mango, or grape, or lemon, you name it, some are specific for energy, metabolism, 100% vit. C, etc, etc. They taste awesome at only 5 calories each in a full bottle of water. I also prepare foods in advance to make making salads very quick. I usually have all types of peppers, celery, tomatoes, and usually baked chicken breast on hand cut up in containers in the frig ready to throw together. I've also learned to scale back on the dressing over time, maybe even add a tad of water to make it go further because I do not care for "diet dressings". Losing weight is by far the most difficult thing--as you can tell by the stats on the American public. It takes hard work and patience. No sense in stressing about it--stress won't help the weight loss process. Take your time--it will happen, especially with the help of this website.

First of all~ you've taken step number 1 and you joined MFP and are trying to change. Secondly, you are recording everything your eating which is another step in the right direction. If you haven't already go and read http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12
Read and understand it, it'll help make you feel much better. See in MFP your calorie goal-- already has you at a caloric deficit each day ( based on if you choose you wanted to lose a pound, two lbs per week etc) so if you go 10 calories over "your goal", you still ate less calories then what you burned. So you will still be working in the right direction. So don't try to fret I used to be the same way as far as why I was eating. Since joining here, something I've done at meal time is eat my protein/veggies/fruit first usually in that order and then if I am still hungry go for a "higher carb" food (rice, noodles, potatoe, slice of bread etc. I normally don't have very much room for that " high carb" food. If your snacking- same thing grab a fruit or veggie first. Hard to say "OMG--- i went over my calories today cause i ate way too many fruits & veggies" It's all about practice and trying to be concious of your food choices. They say it takes weeks to form a habbit, but much longer to break bad ones Its a process and it takes hard work-- Afterall, if being skinny was easy--- no one would need to lose weight

CONTROL- it's the biggest benefit to MFP. I had a horrible snacking habit, second and third helping habit. I would routinely overeat. After joining MFP and set reasonable goals, I learned to space my eating and slow waaaay down and enjoy my food. I loved starchy sugary snacks. MFP helped me get control over the mindless snacking I was addicted to. It took me 30 days of MFP to retrain my snacking habit so I wasn't craving snacks. I recently relaxed my barriers against impulse purchasing and found myself hitting up the vending machines more and more often, esp on days I wasn't tracking my intake. Stick to MFP and it will help you control your diet.

I am sending you a friend request. Your post is exactly how I feel as well!

Ah yes, I get it.
I have a terrible relationship with food as well. It keeps me company, but also is killing me by filling my arteries with fat and sending me to an early grave. I think we need to break up...

I just came back to this site today, after joining a year ago but not really using it. Wow - how good are these boards? You can do it with all the encouragement that you will find here - we can all do it together. Groups are much stronger than singles.

Good luck!!

Just think its not a race, its a lifestyle change, it will take time and there will be days where you are over your calories and days where you are under, life doesn't stop, there will still be special occassions and treat days and there should be, just make gradual changes until your natural attitude changes. Good luck!

Hey Hun and welcome
You're in the right place im only a week in and I can feel the difference already not only health wise but mentally too. It is going to be tough and we all have 'off' days but as the Get over it link says its in the past and can't be undone but the future is yours for the taking . I agree with alot of what folk are saying about planning and taking one day at a time its all true. I do my diaries the night before after dinner so I know what I am eating the next day. If I didn't do that I would eat so badly.
Take it easy on yourself and don't rip yourself apart you can do this and with a bit of support you will do this
euthie
xxx

Shortly after having my first child and I kept waiting for life to go back to "normal", I had an "aha" moment. My life had irreversably changed, it was up to me to create the brand-new, never-before-experienced, "normal". The birth of a child is also the birth of a mother (whether mother of one, or mother of three). This may be part of what you're dealing with. Be kind to the new mother - she's never done this before.

Much of the advice on here is good, and I won't repeat it. You WILL have to find what works for you, and that takes trial-and-error, and time. I like the advice of one-day-at-a-time, but I've been struggling with the time between end of workday and bedtime. So I've focused on one-meal-at-a-time. Just focus on breakfast, and mid-morning snack. Once that's mastered, consider lunch. Then dinner. This isn't a race, just a journey.

Don't stress too much about going over by a little. Keep working at it and you'll get there. I started about a week before I really started. I would log for breakfast, lunch then get confused (or weak and eat something bad) for dinner and not log dinner. Then as I really started to log things, I was shocked about how many calories I was eating or how many of my favorite things were not good at all...after about a week, I logged just about everything and have been since. Before I went to the grocery store, I'd look up how many calories things were and would plan what I was going to buy and eat. I don't think you should deprive yourself of the yummy things you love (with some moderation) but work for it. If I want something a little unhealthier that day...I go out and exercise and burn those calories. I've been losing weight consistently for the last three months having what I wanted here and there. Though I've made lots of healthier choices, trying to find healther dinners that I actually like and will continue to make. Last time I lost weight, I completely deprived myself, didn't exercise...and I lost weight quicker....but I gained it ALL back. This time I feel confident that won't happen...I don't feel deprived....if I want a cupcake this weekend, I'm going to have that cupcake, but I'm going to work for it.

You can do this!

It's all about taking one day at a time! You are worth making a change! I sent you a friend request. If you mess up and eat too much today start again tomorrow. Make some new friends, help support them and they will do the same for you. This is an awsome site! Take that baby for a walk it will really make you both feel wonderful! I felt the same way years ago when I had my children. You can do it I'll help you along with cheers and way to go's! Begin each day with a positive attitude that you are worth living for!

I think you are spending too much time thinking about what you didn't do or what you tried to do and failed. You came to this site and that is something you should be proud of because you are making steps to be healthier. It's always more difficult in the beginning because you are trying to break a bunch of bad habits. Don't get so frustrated or you will beat yourself up so much you won't want to keep trying. Today is a new day and you start all over again, if you go over by 10 calories today then there is always tomorrow. You just keep at it and keep trying. Add me as a friend if you would like. I find friends on here give encouragement and support. Best of luck, you CAN do this!!