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    Monty Python Anyone?

    135

    Replies

    • Posts: 7,173 Member
      images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS4ZM44aMOq9YiekaPkb0dHSqVjem7d6M6Hs8hEYssvInswAG6OuQ
    • Posts: 230 Member
      Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
    • Posts: 21
      The Mighty Tim.
      "It's only a rabbit"
      "He'll do you up a treat"
    • Posts: 527 Member
      Have I got a big nose, Mum?

      Stop thinking about sex!

      I wasn't!

      You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small? "
    • Posts: 35 Member
      `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
      Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
      All mimsy were the borogoves,
      And the mome raths outgrabe.
    • Posts: 2,414 Member
      " The Larch"
    • Posts: 354 Member
      Someone better bring me a shrubbery.
    • Posts: 675 Member
      He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

      Incidentally, the woman who played Judith (girlfriend of Brian) is my yoga teacher.
    • Posts: 1,648 Member
      Where'd you get the coconuts?

      We found them.

      Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!

      What do you mean?

      Well, this is a temperate zone

      The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?

      Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

      Not at all. They could be carried.

      What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

      It could grip it by the husk!

      It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

      Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?

      Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

      Please!

      or

      One, two, FIVE!
      Three, sir.
      THREE!
    • Posts: 331 Member
      "He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!"


      Damn! Beaten to it!

      "You're ****ing nicked, me old beauty!"
    • Posts: 527 Member
      Crucifixion?

      Yes.

      Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

      Crucifixion?

      Er, no, freedom actually.

      What?

      Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.

      Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.

      No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.

      Oh yes, very good. Well...

      Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.
    • Posts: 45 Member
      First rule of not being seen,,,,,, Don't stand up!!
    • Posts: 4,941 Member
      King Arthur: Old woman.
      Dennis: Man.
      King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
      Dennis: I'm 37.
      King Arthur: What?
      Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
      King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
      Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
      King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
      Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
      King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
      Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
      King Arthur: Well I am king.
      Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
    • Posts: 527 Member
      I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!

      Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

      What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

      He is! He is the Messiah!

      Now, f*** off!

      How shall we f*** off, O Lord?
    • Posts: 19,809 Member
      Welease Wodderwick!
    • Posts: 1,648 Member
      NONE shall pass.
    • Posts: 527 Member
      Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
    • Posts: 1,221 Member
      I chop down trees. I eat my lunch. I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.
    • Posts: 689 Member
      It's dead!
      No, it's sleeping!
      It is an EX-PARROT!

      lol

      thanks for the thread...now i've gotta go watch some python on neflix

      He's pining for the Fjords!
    • Posts: 527 Member
      Brave Sir Robin ran away...

      *No!*

      bravely ran away away...

      *I didn't!*

      When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

      *I never did!*

      Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

      *Oh, you liars!*

      Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.
    • Posts: 1,221 Member
      Pie Iesu domine dona eiis requiem *thunk*
      Pie Iesu domine dona eiis requiem *thunk*
    • Posts: 102 Member
      Brave Sir Robin ran away...

      *No!*

      bravely ran away away...

      *I didn't!*

      When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

      *I never did!*

      Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

      *Oh, you liars!*

      Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.


      LMAO!!! AWESOME
    • Posts: 41 Member
      "What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
    • Posts: 510 Member
      Moose bites can be pretty nasty.
    • Posts: 4,252 Member
      Holy hand grenade
    • Posts: 444 Member
      PILATE: Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?

      BRIAN: 'Brian', sir.

      PILATE: 'Bwian', eh?

      BRIAN: No, no. 'Brian'. [slap] Aah!

      PILATE: Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.

      CENTURION: Has what, sir?

      PILATE: Spiwit.

      CENTURION: Yes. He did, sir.

      PILATE: No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.

      CENTURION: Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.

      PILATE: So, you dare to waid us.

      BRIAN: To what, sir?

      PILATE: Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!

      [slap]

      BRIAN: Aaah!

      CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?

      PILATE: What?

      CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir?

      PILATE: Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.
    • Posts: 379 Member
      What have the Romans ever done for us?
    • Posts: 424 Member
      Bring out your dead! (clang)

      (this is actually my ringtone.. LOL)


      I have the forest message scene as my sms tone:

      "BOING!!! Message for you Sir"
    • Posts: 271 Member
      RELEASE THE TIGER!
    • Posts: 1,093 Member
      What do you mean, an African or European Swallow?
    This discussion has been closed.

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