Cheap date.

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  • gayje
    gayje Posts: 230 Member
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    Ok I apologize. But if you're THAT broke, what do you think you can bring to this table at this point? Why not wait until you're more on your feet to date?

    I bet you married an old wealthy guy and are just waiting for him to die.

    :laugh: :drinker:
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
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    I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Not at all. I keep it simple and I always pay. I do take it as a high mark of the woman's character, however, if she offers to pay her half, or she wants to chip in for something small.

    It is a negative mark on the women's character, if however she's expecting the guy--whatever his age--to splurge on her from the start. That shows she's into the monetary or consumer experience the man pays for---food, entertainment, whatever--rather than the guy himself.

    Women complain all the time about guys using them for sex. Some women use guys for material things. It cuts both ways.

    Just as you've made the point this thread isn't about the OP's age or his date's age, I'd like to remind you this thread isn't about his date's character. If she turns out to be puttanesca-deserving, well... I'm sure he can deal with that appropriately.
  • ajball90
    ajball90 Posts: 211 Member
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    Why does not having very much money mean he cannot date? Even if they got to the point of a relationship, being a little on the poor side for now shouldn't make a difference. Unless she was the type of person that expects people to take them on dates to expensive restaurants, and expects the boy to pay every time...but then, who would want to date someone like that?
    Ok I apologize. But if you're THAT broke, what do you think you can bring to this table at this point? Why not wait until you're more on your feet to date?
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
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    To the OP: $50 is plenty, it's enough. There are so many things you can do with that amount, and less. It doesn't have to be an expensive meal. Doesn't even have to be a full course meal. Coffee, dessert and some sort of nature walk or trip to an art museum would be great.
  • Cristofori44
    Cristofori44 Posts: 201
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    I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Not at all. I keep it simple and I always pay. I do take it as a high mark of the woman's character, however, if she offers to pay her half, or she wants to chip in for something small.

    It is a negative mark on the women's character, if however she's expecting the guy--whatever his age--to splurge on her from the start. That shows she's into the monetary or consumer experience the man pays for---food, entertainment, whatever--rather than the guy himself.

    Women complain all the time about guys using them for sex. Some women use guys for material things. It cuts both ways.

    Just as you've made the point this thread isn't about the OP's age or his date's age, I'd like to remind you this thread isn't about his date's character. If she turns out to be puttanesca-deserving, well... I'm sure he can deal with that appropriately.

    Not at all. My whole problem was with Sizzle's comment that guys don't bring anything to the table if they don't splurge on the date from the start. I think not splurging is in fact the best way to go on the first. Guy asks, he pays, but makes it something fun and cheap. Low pressure, and two people can see if there's more of a spark.
  • CarmenSantiago
    CarmenSantiago Posts: 681 Member
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    I do think whomever initiates the date should pay. And I believe in old school where a man pays for the date...unless the woman does the inviting.

    Exactly. Chivalry should not be (and isn't to some!) dead. OP is proving that.


    I too believe that a guy should pay if he is the one the asked. And vice versa if it is the girl that asked. I'm old fashioned that way too. That being said, a lot of money doesn't have to be spent. The ones looking for big spenders are probably not ones you want to date again anyway. IMHO
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    I'm just wondering, Christofori44, why on earth a man would ask a girl out if she'd not shown any interest other than platonic... perhaps you are finding out you're dating *kitten* because these are women you are bribing with a nice meal... perhaps you are looking for "puttanesca" and finding just that.

    Not at all. I keep it simple and I always pay. I do take it as a high mark of the woman's character, however, if she offers to pay her half, or she wants to chip in for something small.

    It is a negative mark on the women's character, if however she's expecting the guy--whatever his age--to splurge on her from the start. That shows she's into the monetary or consumer experience the man pays for---food, entertainment, whatever--rather than the guy himself.

    Women complain all the time about guys using them for sex. Some women use guys for material things. It cuts both ways.

    Just as you've made the point this thread isn't about the OP's age or his date's age, I'd like to remind you this thread isn't about his date's character. If she turns out to be puttanesca-deserving, well... I'm sure he can deal with that appropriately.

    Not at all. My whole problem was with Sizzle's comment that guys don't bring anything to the table if they don't splurge on the date from the start. I think not splurging is in fact the best way to go on the first. Do something fun, but cheap. Low pressure, and two people can see if there's more of a spark.

    I never said he had to splurge. He said he may have $40 if he scraped a jar. My initial reaction was why not wait until things were more stable to date. I pictured more stress than good coming from it. I'm a 38 year old woman. It's been (thank GOD in this economy) YEARS since I have been in that scenario. Then I looked at his profile and saw 21. Thought about it and realized the reality. I have a 17 1/2 year old step son. I "get" that he will likely be doing the same thing. He does it now when he wants to date! I posted many times my explanation on here. I PM'd OP and became friends within seconds. Just give it a rest.
  • MrsWonderland
    MrsWonderland Posts: 107 Member
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    I personally dont think money matters all that much. I always say I would rather be happy, loved and poor than to be rich and misserable.

    I think you should call her talk for a bit and see what she likes. Then maybe suggest a picnic in the park and maybe by a lake. A single flower would be a nice gesture. Or even pumpkin carving as someone else mentioned.

    My first date with my husband was at a little restaurant and we had the breakfast bar. It was inexpencive, but it was nice and quiet. Before they tore it down that was our place. He worked but didnt have alot of money because of all the child support, but I knew he really loved his kids, so it didnt matter and it still doesnt matter to me. People always got in my bussiness about him not having much money, even told me I shouldnt marry him. I have been happy for 5yrs and still dont care about money I just care about being happy.

    If she cares about money shes only a pretty face and not worth your time. I really hope that no matter what you decide or where you go, that you both have fun getting to know each other. And hope you let us know how it went. You got her number, so to me that already says something in your favor.
  • Nleon4
    Nleon4 Posts: 12 Member
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    Do you have a $1 Movie theatre in your city? I just watched the newest Spiderman movie last night for $1.75. :)
  • fleur_de_lis19
    fleur_de_lis19 Posts: 926 Member
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    Do something like take her to a park for a picnic or something. You don't need to splurge on a girl and she won't care if she's worth it.

    Or invite her over your place for dinner. Not pizza and TV.

    this
  • damiengarber
    damiengarber Posts: 17
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    Good for you bro. I know how hard it can be to even just get up the courage to ask a girl out. MOST women (the ones worth dating anyway) couldn't care less about your status or financial situation. If they do it's not worth pursuing anyway. She'll understand you're in college and who cares? Coffee is always good and something affordable like a walk you just can't go wrong with. Good luck my man.
  • mvatrail
    mvatrail Posts: 45
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    Take her out for a java or ice dream. Women still like ice cream ? Go for a walk, go to a bookstore, chat her up, get to know her, find out if you want a date # 2. Hmmmmmm. I suddenly feel like ice cream . Time to go find an ice cream date for this afternoon.
  • MySunshine76
    MySunshine76 Posts: 389
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    zoo, picnic, gardens, hiking, FISHING (my personal fave), target practice (another fave), or maybe just take her out for icecream. The point to a first date, to me, is to be somewhere fairly quiet so you can talk and get to know each other. Just have a good time and be yourself, because if she doesn't like you for who you are, then there is no need for a second date. Some girls (me) don't like to have alot spent on them anyway, it's about the quality of the time, not how much it costs.
  • MySunshine76
    MySunshine76 Posts: 389
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    mvatrail, it should not be hard for you to find an ice cream date, yum!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Favorite cheap date: A loaf of bread and a bag of peanuts, feeding ducks and squirrels at the park. And a picnic lunch for the two of you. Just don't try to picnic NEAR the ducks and squirrels...
  • barkin43
    barkin43 Posts: 508 Member
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    Good for you bro. I know how hard it can be to even just get up the courage to ask a girl out. MOST women (the ones worth dating anyway) couldn't care less about your status or financial situation. If they do it's not worth pursuing anyway. She'll understand you're in college and who cares? Coffee is always good and something affordable like a walk you just can't go wrong with. Good luck my man.

    Very well said! Go with this one!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Take her out for a java or ice dream. Women still like ice cream ? Go for a walk, go to a bookstore, chat her up, get to know her, find out if you want a date # 2. Hmmmmmm. I suddenly feel like ice cream . Time to go find an ice cream date for this afternoon.

    I like ice cream... how you doing'? :wink:
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    i was thinking about taking a girl to coffee and then a walk to the part too. I am just glad not all girls are like someone who posted on here. :smile:
  • lkcuts
    lkcuts Posts: 224
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    give her a before date call have a little chat and see what her interests are and what she likes..I remember one date I had the fella asked me if I liked to dance I said sure! he said he would pick me up at such and such time. I thought we were going dancing so I bought a fancy dress and heels. When he arrived,I ended up riding in the back of a pickup truck and we went to a drive in movie!! SAY WHAAT?? All I am saying to make your first date nice, make sure its what she would like to do that will fit your budget.
    If she is a four wheeler type you can do sport type things, if she is a romantic type,setting up your own table make it fancy in a nice setting outside in a park or next to a beach, a table cloth and a rose on the table , nice bottle of wine and if you cook, make a nice portable meal or order one. have it ready set up when you both get there..a little radio music for a dance...ahhh A'MORE!!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    It's a negative mark on a guys character to Not pay on a date, ESP the first one.

    :noway: Seriously? If he offers, I will accept and say thank you so as not to hurt his pride. But it's the EXPECTING him to pay part that bothers me here...With that logic, shouldn't he also be expecting you to put out because he spent a few bucks? I much prefer being equals just getting to know one another but maybe that's just me...

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