Honest male answers and opinions wanted

ohh mann the starfish thing has me dying of laughter in my office!!

Edited

I'm 51. I don't have low testosterone (I checked). But, even with what the doctors call a normal level, for my age, my drive is certainly not what it was 20 years ago. Mostly that's a good thing because back then the drive to "spread it around" was so strong I could never have remained in a relationship for long.

With the drive reduced, it's easier for the routine things in life to get in the way of sex. Long days, working hard, stress over money and kids...lots of reasons why many nights you just want to close your eyes and be done with everything.

You've got to talk to him, but you've got to be very non-judgmental and open about it. It's a problem you are both having, not a problem he is having...just like every other problem in a marriage. Neither partner owns it by themselves.

How is the rest of your relationship?

How is his overall physical and mental health?

maybe is a mental or medical disorder.... or spiritual... I always pray that I will be desired by my husband and that I desire him. God always answers prayers!

What about warming him up like a lady? Wine and dine him and then, give him a nice massage and when hes nice and relaxed "bam!" Attack him like a f**king praying mantis.

Ha laughed out loud for ages, my husband wants to know whats so funny, now I'm gonna have to explain what it is that I be reading on here.....mind you I could just act this out!!!

Sometimes I just want to be held.

That's okay. Sometimes I just wanna roll over and eat a sandwich.

^^^YEP!!!

My guy is 36 and I'm 31. We're probably a 1-4 times a month couple, but used to be 3-5 times a day in our younger years. Love matures and the physical need isn't as great. He's still flirtatious and affectionate, but most days one or both of us is just too tired.

Amen to that. I love him dearly, and he certainly isn't doing it wrong. But sometimes, I just want to go to bed. Or sleep in. Or not move in general. And he is the same way. The poor man is so tired, half the time he looks like he has 2 black eyes.

I want honest male answeres and opinions and if you want to be confidential to protect your manhood then great, but I need answers.

Been married a long time and my man is 49 - I am 40.... so yes, I may just be in my prime and with a dud. I get a lot of "I'm tired's" and "It's too soon's". Really? So sex is only when convenient for him, and it's like planning a calendar. Usually Friday nights but sometimes Saturday instead - never ever two nights in a row and not more than once a week. His choice, not mine.

Yes, we have kids; teens. AND while I may look forward to action because we will have the house to ourselves.... he would rather watch tv. We have the house to ourselves.... um, HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this really how it is when you men reach this age?

How do you approach the use of drugs? toys? or is this just a crush to your manhood? Seriously

I'm 5-7, brunette, curvy but not fat, and I think I am pretty - I really don't think it is the scenery that is turning him off. When I get his attention, I can keep it.

ALSO, I'm 40 - I've changed over the years. How can I tell him that he is doing it wrong and not hurt him?

OK, now that I am about to post... mock away with witty sarcasm but some real insight into your male psyches would be great.

First and foremost, all of the suggestions to cheat or get a divorce are just stupid.
With that said:
What kind of physical shape is your Husband in? If he is overweight and simply tired all the time, the last thing he probably wants is any kind of physical interaction.... with anybody...
While it might seem counter-productive, stop trying. I mean, just stop. Don't be a jerk about it but, don't push the issue either.
Someone else suggested toys. I give that two solid thumbs up.
Unless he is dead, playing with a vibrator wihile in bed next to him is almost impossible to ignore.
You can even be cool about it and explain that you don't want to have sex with him but, you could use just a little bit of assistance with the new BOB.

Secondly, suggest a bit of exercise. Even a walk around the block could be helpful and, once he starts to get in even a LITTLE bit better shape, he will FEEL better and in return, YOU will feel better.

^^ THIS

I am so sorry you are having this problem.

I am about to be 30 and my husband is about to be 33. I noticed that within the last year our sex life has went from all the time to just a couple times a week. I think the longest has been 2 weeks. I have noticed that it tends to go with his moods, looking for jobs and what not. If he is feeling down or depressed this has a huge affect on him.

You might check to see if something has him down or if he is hiding something.

I am a firm believe in adding toys! You need your toys you can use alone and I would incorporate stuff you can use together! I know it is expensive but try the We Vibe. Before I met my husband I had a few, but it is always fun to go shopping together. You can see what he likes without putting him on the defensive and asking him what he likes. If the toys are a problem with him try incorprating other things that might get him going (teddies, corsets, porn, role play, etc.). Whatever he is into. If you are married and have kids you have been together long enough to know some things that get him going.

Don't even tell him he is doing something wrong, just tell him what you like, or a position you want to try. Tell him what you want him to do to you and what feels good! Verbal cues during sex are hot!

Good Luck!

What about warming him up like a lady? Wine and dine him and then, give him a nice massage and when hes nice and relaxed "bam!" Attack him like a f**king praying mantis.

Yea, go that way. The prying mantis bites her mate's head off after sex.

hahahahaha I love this its hilarious ) i hope you have better luck- im only 23 and our libidos are high i guess ill enjoy it for all of us