Do you think that thin people hate fat people, and why?
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I had a stepmother that won't let my dad see my half sister because apparently fat is contagious. People are just so igroant these days.0
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I was a thin kid. I was thin in university, and started putting on weight in my mid 20's. I joined a gym and did a really inefficient job of keeping it at bay. Worked for a few years, and then I got lazy (because my methodology sucked) and I started putting on weight slowly until recently. I've shed about 45 pounds and have somewhere between 15 and 30 to go.
So I was obese. I was fat because I was too lazy to fix it, to do the work, and educate myself on what I needed to do. And I was fooling myself into thinking that I wasn't as large as I actually way. When I imagined myself, I was still thin. My sense of identity was thin, even though I decidedly wasn't.
I look down on myself for what I allowed to happen. How I allowed myself to live a lie. How can I help but look down on others too? It would be a weird reverse sort of hypocritical to only look down on my own poor behaviour and give everyone else a pass.
I would never say anything to anyone, of course. But I can't (wont!) censor my own thoughts.
There is an outlier, which is medical conditions which make weight management very difficult, or impossible. If you look at the number of obese people in France, and then look at the number of obese people in the US and (to a lesser extent) Canada, it's quite obvious that this outlier isn't as prevalent as many would have us believe. Most people are fat because they eat too much, and don't exercise enough.
How can you help but look down on people who use motorized carts to haul their fat *kitten* around the oversized supermarkets, because they can't even manage to forage for their own foods unassisted in a building?
You can call me judgemental all you like. Ironically, when you do, you're being just as judgemental.
I have plenty of respect for a person who's overweight if I know they're working on it. If I see them eating massive calorie lunches every day? Not so much.
Love and totally agree with this. Society has set us up to consume to excess, yet loathe the fat that accumulates as a result, creating a money chain dedicated to binging and purging. Images of svelte images drives even thin people to strive for unrealistic expectations concerning their figure, and because they're dieting and doing the right thing, coupled with the societal stigma of the "fat person," they will indeed look down on those who they perceive to be lazy and inattentive to their own bodies.
And I'm really, really, really trying not to blink. O.O0 -
There are mean and inconsiderate people in all shapes and sizes. My wife has been thin all her life and has had people tell her to her face she's too skinny, behind her back and also tell her what to eat, how much and when.0
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I think thin people hate fat people as much as fat people hate thin people. It usually stems from jealousy of someone being comfortable with their own body/personality/talent/ect.0
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I doubt it. Most people are self involved and saying judgemental things out of their own insecurities.0
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No I don't think you can say do 'thin people' hate.... because thin people aren't one breed of people that think alike.
There are some people that hate fat people who happen to be thin or fat themselves.
There are some people who love fat people who happen to be thin or fat themselves.
There are some people who do not focus on weight and do not care if someone is thin or fat.
This.0 -
Honestly, I don't think it's weight in particular. It's unattractiveness. Everyone knows that attractive people have the advantage. If the news anchor was ugly, she/he would get the same reaction. Fat is not considered attractive by most people, therefore people hate on it.
flawed reasoning. very pretty and very ugly thin people. very ugly very pretty fat people. it's all subjective. nothing to do with weight all the time.0 -
I just want to say that I really appreciate the honesty and the insight people are sharing on this topic. I think that the people who replied that there are mean and judgemental people in all sizes may be exactly right. I say too bad for judgemental people, they are limiting themselves by judging others without really knowing them. And, they should remember that while they are busy judging others there is probably someone standing behind them judging them back. People need to be kinder to each other, starting with themselves. :flowerforyou:0
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Anyone judging people by their weight is lacking in intellect and certainly in class.
This. And of course, discrimination happens every day for a million reasons.0 -
Just my opinon I think Heavy people hate skinny people.now that I am one of them I have never been hated on so bad in my life. I never felt that skinny pe\ple hated me when I was fat.. I find it to be just the opoisite. I wish we could all get over the whole fat skinny hatered and help each other find a happy healthy weight..0
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i think some do and some don;t because some people are *kitten* and others aren't. the end.0
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Unfortunately, I have to admit I think I have on occasion been one of those people who has judged people for being fat (here I don't mean a bit fat, I mean very fat). But I think the reason is probably a lot to do with the fact that I was raised to take care of myself, be healthy and that just because i wanted that second donut didn't mean I should have it...
It's not something I have inherently against fat people, and in fact I bear the same thoughts regarding very thin people. I believe adamantly that we have to make the best of our lives and should make a real effort to be healthy.
Now of course, this is flawed because everyone on this site is trying to get healthier in one way or another and i'm not considering medical conditions, or many other reasons why people are overweight. I also probably have preconceived ideas about overweight people not having much self control (maybe this is partly jealousy because I have to be so controlled with my own diet to stay slim).
What i'm trying to say here is: the next time I notice myself judging, i'll try to realise that I have no right, and stop myself even subconsciously making a value judgement about how someone chooses to live their life. In return, I would hope that some of the people who make mean comments to me when I eat a salad will eventually realise that we should all be trying to change our attitudes to accept other people without judging.0 -
I think some thin people might feel that way, but most don't. Most people are pretty decent, actually.0
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Just my opinon I think Heavy people hate skinny people.now that I am one of them I have never been hated on so bad in my life. I never felt that skinny pe\ple hated me when I was fat.. I find it to be just the opoisite. I wish we could all get over the whole fat skinny hatered and help each other find a happy healthy weight..
You're skinny with an *kitten*. Of course people hate you. DUH!0 -
people hate people for all kinds of reasons. some are legit, some are stupid. Either way, it's human nature.0
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I don't think they hate fat people but just the feeling of being fat itself. I personally am jealous of fat people because most of them do not care about what they eat--I wish I didn't have to think about food and calories 24/7 and eat whatever I want. I think many thin people are envious of (most) overweight people's "carelessness", for lack of a better word.
But being "fat" or overweight has been made into a bad thing. It used to be that being skinny was ugly and being plump was the "ideal", but it's been changed and that's why many people strive to be thin. Thin people don't like feeling unattractive or undesirable.
I often see girls eating my personal "binge/unsafe" foods such as pizza, peanut butter, ice cream, etc and I can't help but think "wow look at that fatass" but it's just my anorexia speaking. It is just my disorder secretly jealous of their ability to eat and not have disorder thoughts. Before my eating disorder, I could eat as much as I wanted and still think "I am average sized and food is good" and I desperately wish I could still think that way. Of course, I am not sure if it is the same way with "normal" thin people. I am speaking for personal experience. I do not hate fat people, I am very close friends with a couple of clinically severe obese people. Weight does not determine character to me, but I definitely don't like feeling that big.0 -
I learned a lot about having compassion for overweight people by being on this site, but it's still a mixed experience. Since I lost some weight (admittedly I was never overweight), I felt that if I could do it by educating myself about , surely they could do it. And many other members share this sentiment. On the other hand, I see here some very intelligent, educated overweight people who are trying in earnest to lose, but I see sadly that they can't let go of the addictive foods and/or quantities that got them overweight in the first place. And then I read about the people who have gained weight due to medical issues, and it's hard not to feel compassion. When there's a story matched to an overweight body, it's hard to be judgmental. But then if an overweight person sits next to me on the subway, grossly spilling over into my seat and basically invading my personal space and/or forcing me to stand, it's hard not to be angry and judgmental. So I think the "hating" vs. "not hating" really comes down to making snap judgments vs. humanizing people. Both sides need to show and be worthy of receiving respect.0
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They have the appearance of not caring about themselves. That gets into all kinds of weird issues when you are constantly, everyday, are working so hard on restricting what you eat, exercising, and making good food choices. I, personally, just have a very hard time with respecting that. I don't think they are bad people and that they don't deserve the best things in life, they do. But, inside, I feel like they just don't really care. And, therefore, it's just difficult for me to try to care.
Call me what ever name you want. I'm being honest about how I feel about the situation. This doesn't mean that I'm mean or derogatory, or anything at all. I just have a hard time when they might bring up a medical issue, or talk about how it's hard to walk up the stairs and have to take the elevator instead. Or they take pills for this problem and that problem. And I just keep thinking, all that can disappear fairly quickly.
I see where you are coing from and I sort of agree with you. But in the same situation, how do you know that the said "fat" person hasn't started their journey to "caring about theirsleves" or just started working out and eating right that day?0 -
I was a thin kid. I was thin in university, and started putting on weight in my mid 20's. I joined a gym and did a really inefficient job of keeping it at bay. Worked for a few years, and then I got lazy (because my methodology sucked) and I started putting on weight slowly until recently. I've shed about 45 pounds and have somewhere between 15 and 30 to go.
So I was obese. I was fat because I was too lazy to fix it, to do the work, and educate myself on what I needed to do. And I was fooling myself into thinking that I wasn't as large as I actually way. When I imagined myself, I was still thin. My sense of identity was thin, even though I decidedly wasn't.
I look down on myself for what I allowed to happen. How I allowed myself to live a lie. How can I help but look down on others too? It would be a weird reverse sort of hypocritical to only look down on my own poor behaviour and give everyone else a pass.
I would never say anything to anyone, of course. But I can't (wont!) censor my own thoughts.
There is an outlier, which is medical conditions which make weight management very difficult, or impossible. If you look at the number of obese people in France, and then look at the number of obese people in the US and (to a lesser extent) Canada, it's quite obvious that this outlier isn't as prevalent as many would have us believe. Most people are fat because they eat too much, and don't exercise enough.
How can you help but look down on people who use motorized carts to haul their fat *kitten* around the oversized supermarkets, because they can't even manage to forage for their own foods unassisted in a building?
You can call me judgemental all you like. Ironically, when you do, you're being just as judgemental.
I have plenty of respect for a person who's overweight if I know they're working on it. If I see them eating massive calorie lunches every day? Not so much.
Thank you for this; it largely sums up my own thoughts far more eloquently than I can.
I was fat for a large percentage of my life. I got treated differently. And, to be honest, I could never be 'fat and proud' or consider myself a BBW (I typed BBQ then...unfortunate). I didn't feel proud of beautiful - I felt ashamed of my weight. Yet, for a very long time, I did nothing about it. I felt like I kind of deserved that treatment, because I treated my body with such inherent disrespect (armchair psychologists...stop right there).
I have very little time for overweight people who complain that they can't lose weight yet still fill their face full of junk. I also have very little time for people who eat far, far too little and support that lifestyle. Do I hate either? Not at all. I just couldn't support them, and I include the old me in that respect too.
As for people who are making changes to their lifestyle to improve their health - whatever their size, I will offer a mental high-five.
You two said it all. I don't care what your weight is, just how healthy you're trying to be.
I also had a friend who was obese and trying desperately to lose weight despite numerous health conditions. Occasionally she'd treat herself to a burger and noticed how many people would stare and comment. Everyone needs a break every once in a while. The only time I judge someone eating a burger is when they order an extra on the side, upsize the non-diet drink and fries, sits down at eats it all (ie it was all for himself, not sharing with others).0 -
i surely hope not but,i know,there's some shallow,mean people out there.Anyone judging people by their weight is lacking in intellect and certainly in class.
These two are truth^^^
I was sincerely shocked the first time I realized I was being hated on for being skinny. It's equally shocking how obese and overweight people are hated on. I have always been on the thin side myself. In my close circle of friends, there are people who are overweight, underweight and everything in between. We've experienced hate for the way we dress and the way we talk, too. We've been hated on for looking like we're poor or looking like we're rich. We've been hated on for going to church or for not being churchy enough.
I really don't have time for some shallow fck that doesn't like me or my friends because of how we look. It's been a long time since I've cared much what strangers think about me.0 -
people hate people for all kinds of reasons. some are legit, some are stupid. Either way, it's human nature.
This sums up the whole debate.... We are HUMANS it happens.0 -
my daughter is rail thin. She gets a LOT of crap from people who are large. pisses me off.0
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As a person that use to interview people for jobs, I pass over heavy weight people!
I was over weight myself and knew how hard the work would be for a obese
person and rejected them.0 -
I think you are over generalizing here. Tsk tsk........0
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people hate people for all kinds of reasons. some are legit, some are stupid. Either way, it's human nature.
^^ This.0 -
They have the appearance of not caring about themselves. That gets into all kinds of weird issues when you are constantly, everyday, are working so hard on restricting what you eat, exercising, and making good food choices. I, personally, just have a very hard time with respecting that. I don't think they are bad people and that they don't deserve the best things in life, they do. But, inside, I feel like they just don't really care. And, therefore, it's just difficult for me to try to care.
Call me what ever name you want. I'm being honest about how I feel about the situation. This doesn't mean that I'm mean or derogatory, or anything at all. I just have a hard time when they might bring up a medical issue, or talk about how it's hard to walk up the stairs and have to take the elevator instead. Or they take pills for this problem and that problem. And I just keep thinking, all that can disappear fairly quickly.
I see where you are coing from and I sort of agree with you. But in the same situation, how do you know that the said "fat" person hasn't started their journey to "caring about theirsleves" or just started working out and eating right that day?
Just because your goals in life are diet and fitness related doesn't mean everyone's are.
I want to be a published, best-selling novelist and I'm working towards that. Are you less of a person because you're not? You shouldn't judge others' worth or self-worth based on what you choose for yourself. You have no idea what's going on in that person's life unless it's someone you know very well. And if someone has such low self-esteem that he or she doesn't even have the drive to take care of him or herself (if that's the case), does that deserve hatred or judgment? Or compassion?0 -
I definitely know people who do. My ex best friend was one of them. She annoyed the crap out of me. If we were at a restaurant and had an overweight waitress, she would want to leave. She said they were probably eating off her plate. She would not be friends with anyone who was overweight. The ironic thing is she ate more than I did, but was naturally thin. The last straw was when I had my son the same week as Jessica Alba and Halle Berry, she told me that they had already lost their baby weight, why I hadn't I. I was less than 15lbs from my original weight. I had my son June 7th and she told me this in October.0
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i surely hope not but,i know,there's some shallow,mean people out there.Anyone judging people by their weight is lacking in intellect and certainly in class.
These two are truth^^^
I was sincerely shocked the first time I realized I was being hated on for being skinny. It's equally shocking how obese and overweight people are hated on. I have always been on the thin side myself. In my close circle of friends, there are people who are overweight, underweight and everything in between. We've experienced hate for the way we dress and the way we talk, too. We've been hated on for looking like we're poor or looking like we're rich. We've been hated on for going to church or for not being churchy enough.
I really don't have time for some shallow fck that doesn't like me or my friends because of how we look. It's been a long time since I've cared much what strangers think about me.
Love all this. This thread just proved how quickly we are to judge.0 -
They have the appearance of not caring about themselves. That gets into all kinds of weird issues when you are constantly, everyday, are working so hard on restricting what you eat, exercising, and making good food choices. I, personally, just have a very hard time with respecting that. I don't think they are bad people and that they don't deserve the best things in life, they do. But, inside, I feel like they just don't really care. And, therefore, it's just difficult for me to try to care.
Call me what ever name you want. I'm being honest about how I feel about the situation. This doesn't mean that I'm mean or derogatory, or anything at all. I just have a hard time when they might bring up a medical issue, or talk about how it's hard to walk up the stairs and have to take the elevator instead. Or they take pills for this problem and that problem. And I just keep thinking, all that can disappear fairly quickly.
I see where you are coing from and I sort of agree with you. But in the same situation, how do you know that the said "fat" person hasn't started their journey to "caring about theirsleves" or just started working out and eating right that day?
Just because your goals in life are diet and fitness related doesn't mean everyone's are.
I want to be a published, best-selling novelist and I'm working towards that. Are you less of a person because you're not? You shouldn't judge others' worth or self-worth based on what you choose for yourself. You have no idea what's going on in that person's life unless it's someone you know very well. And if someone has such low self-esteem that he or she doesn't even have the drive to take care of him or herself (if that's the case), does that deserve hatred or judgment? Or compassion?
Well said.0 -
I think that most people just don't care, but my experience has been I had negative feelings towards myself and then I tended to project those onto others & I assumed they must hate me as much as I hated myself.0
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